oh my god, oh my god i'm kissing nick and its not bad in fact its good its everything i thought it woud be soft lips and so tender with just the underlining hint of passion to come (fingers and toes crossed)we pull apart what do i say please say something i dont know what to do now i want more but instead i say ''that was not the best thing to do but ive been thinking about it for such a long time i just couldnt stop'',

''thinking about its alot safer i agree with you i didnt want to stop but for the moment maybe we should '' nick says this all the while he's looking at me with eyes looking straight into my soul his body is saying yes and his mind is saying no i wonder what will win ''adalind'' my name slips from his lips so soft and gentel its going to happen oh yes, suddenly theres a noise its the lift WHAT no not now go away, too late hes away from the table checking the monitor its Trubel the door rises and in she walks all happy and very pleased with herself.

''where have you been'' nick asks hes been worried about her after all hes learned these last few weeks im not suprised ''i saw meisner your gonna see juliette today it will be in pulic so be ready when he phones'' happy with her mission complete, theres a voice its mine ''is that wise are you ready'' trubel looks at me as if i had any right to say that i know nothing '' i have to do this, you staying here truble im off to work'' nick dosent even look at me as he crosses the room picks up his gun and badge, then his phone goes off its hank theres a body isnt there always keys and jacket in hand and then hes gone not even a backwards glance thats that i guess.

as nick leaves truble heads to the kitchen her second home within the fome '' help yourself you know where everything is im going to do some laundry, the coffee is fresh'', ''your not mad are you?, i just wanted nick to get some answers'' looking directly at her i have decision to make lie or truth '' no im not mad, you did the right thing, do you have any thing that needs washing'' the lie rolls right off my tongue with ease, ''good, i put my stuff in the laundry basket in the bathroom im going to eat, then catch up on some sleep, do you want me to watch kelly'' , ''no im ok but thanks you eat and sleep i will try not to make to much noise, but if you need me i'll be on the roof ''

i get the laundry and bundle kelly up in his baby papoose(this has been a godsend) and off to the laundry room we go, when nick and i arrived at the fome one of the first things to do was to setup a laundry room with a baby needing changing constantly and two adults one of whom is a grimm it was definitely a necessity, in the quiet of that room i let the tears that had been threatening to come go i wept for the loss of maybe but no it would never be i caused so much pain and stress there was no way that nick would ever look at me as his equal or partner no i was just the mother of his child, who had turned his girlfriend into this power crazy beast who was now a weapon to be feared and fear her i did nick would never be over her it was just a pipe dream time to get it together and not live in the fantasy world.