The Following Trailer is Rated NM For No Mercy!


From the company that has mastered the art of unnecessary sequels, comes the sequel to a movie adaptation of a classic book that did not have a sequel.

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame II!

Disney's "The Hunchback Of Notre Dame," captivated a generation with its gripping narrative and dark storyline. Now, see the bright, happy, simple, non-threatening, non-gripping sequel that came out seven years later, because Disney really knows how to ride a hot streak.

All of Paris is celebrating a bullshit French ripoff of Valentines Day, and poor Quasi still does not have a girlfriend. So, Disney is obligated to create a brand new movie so he can get one.

Inbetween the unoriginal plot about looking past external appearances and appreciating internal beauty, is squeezed a watered down plot line about a creepy, gay Circus manager (We are in France after all) trying to steal a jewel encrusted bell from Notre Dame that was not mentioned in the first movie. Quasi must stop Monsieur Homo and win the girl without the help of the Gargoyles, who have gone from trusted sidekicks and confidants to a cluster of bumbling idiots.

As you suffer through gay-acting Frenchmen, ineffectual gargoyles, and complete lack of original songs, remember that you aren't watching this for yourself, you are watching this so Quasi can find true love, so suck it up you selfish bastards!

So sit down for a sequel that actually brings some happiness and closure to the life of a beloved Disney character, which automatically means that this film has more reason for existing than Cinderella II, Cinderella III, The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning, Mulan II, Bell's Magical Adventure, and many others. (You know who they are)

Starring:

Kicks Ass and Charms Chicks- Quasimodo

Just your average Frenchman- Sarousch

Not the worst Disney love interest ever- Madeline

The Three Stooges- The Gargoyles

Obligatory cameo from the original- Clopin


The Hunchback Of Notre Dame II: Love At First Sequel!

With all the live action remakes coming out, its only a matter of time before the Hunchback of Notre Dame gets one. But who will play Judge Frollo? It needs to be someone old and worn and ugly and completely loathsome… I got It! Robert De Niro!