It never ends,. Just repeats.Repeats , and repeats.Waking up, no memory only the dread of what's to come. I can't stop it, the blood , carnage and death.
A brother's heart stopped on the field, his burden passed to me but I fail, I can't to matter how hard I try.He wins, he always wins even when I win. Her green eyes lose their light, her blood stains my hands and I am numb to stop it. I can only watch and scream. But never changes…
Loop LOop LOoP.
Again and AGain and .
Green, painful green. It brings the memories each time, the sorrow. Green sorrow.
Mako Sorrow.Impressions , shapes morning, night.
Thoughts, feelings, his mine, I do not know everything blends into one and it hurts.
Died, so many times, only to come back.I can't take anymore, even know he has control over my mind and hand. I must act now before he remains control.I'm sorry Mom, Dad, Carol, I'm sorry these last year has been a living hell. But, I'm gonna end it soon.I won't let him hurt any of you again. I swear.
Love you all…
I'm sorry, sorry I couldn't help him.
My brother's suicide letter, not your average emotion inducing or rage spending set of words only the ramblings of a deranged mind. . Or at least that is what his therapist said upon reviewing the disturbing letter, diary and odd realistic dark art Jason kept in his basement room of our families house. Driven by grief by his girlfriend (Erika's) sudden tragic death in a freak car accident mixed with the pressure of maintaining collage and a job.
My heart simply refused to believe that a brilliant a student so full of life would do such a thing. Not Jase who was so full of life. Who even with depression found reasons to smile. Even through Erika's death was spurred on by the promise he had made her, to graduate and work his way into following his dreams . He had been so determined, driven . Only to end up with his brains blown out , lifeless body laying across Erika's grave six months later with one single word scrawled out in his own blood.
However, recent events , has began to change the spectrum of everything I believe.
This is not just some bootleg haunted game B.S. that seems to be all the hype.
I don't ask you to believe it…
I myself hardly believe it..
Even now, standing here near the burning flames laptop in hand, a bottle of vodka and a of pills in the other I can only contemplate my own sanity, while my hands shake and my eyes burn with tears as I struggle with my own rebelling mind to compile these notes, letters and documents. It's too late for me, even now I can feel him, feel his anger burning , mind altering sorrow. His need for revenge to reset all the wrongs that has been done to them all. To save her. Golden spikes matted, eyes slitted in a crazed haze. Green , so much painful green. I will not see sunset, that I am more than certain. Time is limited, but I have not succeeded someone else can put this nightmare to rest.
I'm sorry I couldn't help you Cloud...