can't live with him, can't live without him.


| this life ain't fair, you don't get something for nothing, turn now |


It's one of those days.

Harsh sunrays turn her cheeks red, even with sunscreen, and the humidity makes her clothes stick to her skin. She still feels the rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins, last minute Friday tasks that need to be completed before the weekend.

She's skipped lunch, craves cold Soba noodles and sweet mochi ice cream, her temples throbbing, dazed as she makes her way home from work, thinking of cool showers and severe AC winds that chase away the heat.

(it also doesn't help that she's not fully adjusted to it yet, the new dosage – like an itch she can never scratch, clawing its way out of her skin, the haze, stars and colours bursting behind her eyelids when she moves too quickly)

There's a wave of relief that hits her the second she walks through her door, even if the first thing to greet her is the decayed face of a Death God (he's not the scariest thing in her house).

"Welcome back." Ryuk offers, wicked grin and sharp, sharp teeth. She hums in response, discarding her shoes and enjoying the cold on her overheated feet.

In her kitchen, she's greeted by a familiar sight – notebooks scattered on her kitchen isle, a navy blue pencil case, a half-empty glass of water on a woven coaster. His back is relaxed and yet there's a slight furrow in his brows, not because he doesn't understand, but because he's concentrating.

(maybe it's true, maybe she does understand him, at times she thinks she might understand him better than she understands herself, but is it the same for him)

"How was work?" He asks, not bothering to look up as she drops her bag on the stool in front of his.

"Hellish." She's already starting to feel the familiar lethargy of summer Fridays, the AC allowing her breathing to relax. She washes her hands and then moves to the freezer for some ice, blinking when she notices the little wrapped desserts at the front.

"I stopped after school for them." He says, even if she didn't ask. There's vanilla and chocolate, strawberry and green tea. They seem homemade, individually wrapped and with more ice cream filling than the ones you can find at the grocery store. "And I figured you'd be in the mood for Soba tonight, there's a place not too far from here."

She feels lightheaded as she reaches for a little ball of sticky dough, hazy, like she's not really there. She unwraps it quickly, takes a bite and the cold makes her teeth ache in a lovely way as her mouth is overwhelmed with the taste of vanilla.

She's in front of him with five steps, blinks up at him as she waits for him to look her way.

After all the intimacies they've shared, the kiss is almost anticlimactic – almost.

It's chaste, with no real pressure, and he startles for a second, like he wasn't expecting it even if he'd been getting bolder and bolder with his touches lately. An arm wraps around her waist, pulls her closer, but the kiss stays that way, never deepens.

"Thank you." She breathes out when she pulls away just enough that their noses brush. A hand reaches to cup her cheek and he moves again to press another kiss, this time on her forehead. "I'll go take a shower, then you can take me out to dinner."

She turns away before he can say anything, but as she closes the door of the bathroom, she does hear Ryuk huff out a laugh that sounds more curious than amused.

Her lips prickle and she knows.

(she may not be in love with him, but she could be one day – it's a horrifying thought, it makes her shiver – can't live with him, can't live without him)

She knows what she'll have to do then.

a/n : here you go, another chapter. hope you enjoyed and thanks again for reading, see you next time ~