Chapter 2: Zelda's Lawyer


Link and Aryll arrived in Skyworld through Ty's wrist portal and were standing in front of a karaoke parlor.

Link- Seriously…Pit is in here…?

Aryll- You told me to ask around and the other angels told me this was where they saw Pit go into.

Link- Why would Pit go into a place like this?

Aryll- Well, how about we enter and find out.

Link and Aryll walked inside the karaoke parlor and Link's jaw almost dropped when he saw Pit singing Superstition by Stevie Wonder up on the karaoke stage.

Pit (singing)- When you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer! Superstition ain't the way!

Crowd- PIT! PIT! PIT! PIT!

Pit bowed to the audience until he eventually saw Link and Aryll. Pit walked towards the edge of the karaoke stage to talk to them.

Pit- Link, fancy running into you here of all places. You and your sister come to watch my performance on stage?

Link- Actually Pit, I need to talk to Palutena.

Pit- Can it wait? I booked the stage for the next two hours.

Link- This is urgent, Pit! Princess Zelda was recently arrested by soldiers who claim to work for a god called the Lord of the Universe!

As soon as Pit heard the Lord of the Universe being mentioned, he immediately turned to face the crowd.

Pit- Sorry guys…duty calls…

The crowd began to moan and boo after hearing Pit say that.

Owner of the karaoke parlor- You're not getting your deposit back, Pit!

Pit- Hey Link, can I borrow $50?

Link slammed his own palm into his face after Pit asked that question.

(At Palutena's Skypalace)

Pit was leading Link and Aryll down the hallway to Palutena's throne room. Pit sort of had a sour look on his face.

Pit- You had better have a good enough excuse to want to speak to Lady Palutena! This was supposed to be my last day off before I go back to work as captain of her troops and I was making a killing at that karaoke stage!

Aryll- What? Didn't you enjoy your vacation, Pit?

Pit- Lady Palutena and Viridi force me to spend time at a hotel by the beach in the Alola Region with that Poke'mon Trainer, Dawn! She kissed every square inch of my face every fifteen minutes until my broken arm healed! Does that sound enjoyable? I think I'd like to have my personal space for now! And I spent a lot of money to sing on stage before you came running in.

Link- Well sorry if this was inconvenient for you, Pit! But we already told you that servants of the Lord of the Universe arrested Zelda!

Aryll- Do you know anything about this Lord of the Universe?

Pit- Not much asides from what I heard Lady Palutena say about him. He's supposed to be the absolute rule of all gods, even over Lady Palutena. In fact, no one in the universe has more authority than him. That's why they call him the Lord of the Universe. I've never met him, but Lady Palutena does mention him from time to time. They say he lives in huge crystal monastery in the realm of the gods and rarely leaves the place now a days. By the way, what did the Lord of the Universe charge Zelda with if you don't mind me asking?

Link- They think she broke into his monastery and stole something called the Harp of the Gods.

Pit immediately stopped walking and had a look of pure shock on his face.

Pit- Oh shit…!

Link- Pit…?

Pit turned around to face Link and Aryll.

Pit- Link…I don't want to freak you out…but if Zelda is found guilty of this crime…they will cut her head off…

Link- WHAT?!

Pit- I told you not to freak out, man!

Aryll- If you don't mind me asking, what is so special about this harp?

Pit- If I tell you, you must promise you won't tell anyone! Not even Mario or the other members of the team!

Link- Fine. Just tell us what all the fuss is about this stolen harp.

Pit- The Harp of the Gods is a very powerful magical artifact that if played under a full moon with someone wielding a godly power playing it, the harp can turn any mortal who hears its divine melody literally into a god.

Aryll- Wow!

Link- You've got to be pulling my leg, Pit.

Pit- I'm not joking. Many humans from your ancient stories have been blessed with the music of that harp. Odysseus, Perseus, Decius…a lot of "eus's"…basically, the Harp of the Gods was supposed to be the gods' way of rewarding mortals for performing acts of such heroics by turning them into gods. However…that fact that mortals could earn such a great reward like that for acts of heroicness began with mortals actually causing horrific events to happen in the hopes of them looking like heroes trying to stop them. For example, that's how the Spanish Inquisition was started! Since then, the gods erased the minds of all mortals that the harp ever existed, removed all traces from all mortal records, and was said to be locked away in the Lord of the Universe's monastery. So now you can see why the gods would be very upset about it being stolen. Actually…upset is an understatement…big time…

Link- That does sound bad. Anyway, that's why I need to talk to Palutena. I need her to help show the gods that Zelda is innocent.

Aryll- Pit just said this Lord of the Universe has more authority than even Palutena. You sure her word alone would be enough?

Pit- True that the Lord of the Universe is higher up the ranks than Lady Palutena, but if anyone can show the gods, including the Lord of the Universe, it's Lady Paluten…Oh my goodness!

Pit opened the door to Palutena's throne room and was completely surprised at what he saw. Palutena was wearing suit one would expect a business woman to wear to a meeting, her long flowing hair was held in place behind the back of her head by a pin, she was wearing a pair of black heels on her feet, and was wearing a small pair of glasses.

Pit- Lady Palutena…you look like a mom…

Link- Palutena, Goddess of Light, I need…

Before Link could continue that sentence, Palutena put her finger over Link's mouth.

Palutena- I already know what you want to talk to me about, Link. I do believe that Zelda didn't take the Harp of the Gods, but there is nothing I can do to guarantee Zelda's innocence. In fact, that's why I'm dressed like a lawyer. I'm the only god who's agreed to represent Zelda on her behalf. But I'll tell you now, things are looking grim for Zelda.

Link almost dropped to his knees after hearing Palutena tell him that.

Link- ****! You were my last hope, Palutena…

Aryll- Link…the Link I know wouldn't just throw in the towel just because things look bleak! You didn't give up on me when you and Shantae found me with my mind messed up in the desert!

Link- True, but now it seems like the only real way to prove Zelda is innocent and not end up decapitated is to find the real thief before the trial ends. When is Zelda's trial?

Palutena- Tonight actually. That doesn't give you much time, I'm afraid.

Link- Can you tell me what the witnesses of the theft described on the night in questioned?

Palutena- They said whoever attacked them had magic powered by a Triforce. Only someone who wields a Triforce can harness something like that. And the only ones who wield a Triforce are you, Princess Zelda, and Ganondorf.

Link- I think you might've solved this mystery already.

Aryll- Ganondorf? Sure, he's got the motives to want to kill you and Zelda and wields the Triforce of Power, but do you really believe he really is the one who stole the harp?

Link- Only one way to find out. Find that pale faced wizard and make him squeal like a ****ing piggy.

Pit- Not much to go on, but it's a place to start.

Palutena- I hope you have other means of divine guidance, Pit. I'm afraid I won't be able to do much of anything while I'm defending Zelda at the trial.

Aryll- I think I might know of someone.

Pit quickly grabbed Aryll's face and pulled it up to his.

Pit- Aryll, please! Not her!