So... This story has been nagging me for a looong-ass time, plus nobody had written this kind of fic, so I decided to write it. This chapter is gonna be a backstory of wtf is happening on Harry's side, and its suuuuper cliché, so bear with me please. The Final Space part is gonna start at the next chapter. Enjoy :D
DISCLAIMER: Final Space and Harry Potter belongs to Olan Rodgers and our queen, J.K. Rowling, respectively.
Eternal life was boring. This was the only thought passing through one Harry James Potter, Master of Death. He had spent exactly five hundred seventy eight years, eight months and fourteen days alive, and he hadn't aged a day since the dratted day that he reunited the Deathly Hallows. In his head, he was beginning to see why the Flamels destroyed the Philosopher's stone. The only people who knew of his existence was a handful of house elves, the ghost of Hermione (She probably wouldn't move on until she exhausted the book supply in the entire Potter Manor, and seeing how the library was self-updating, that would take a long time), and a blind immortal gypsy that lives in a remote cave in Hungary.
He rarely stepped out of the rich mahogany halls of the Potter Manor, and when he did, he was always either under the Cloak or a large number of muggle disguises and glamours, preferably both. Magic was virtually nonexistent around now. About two hundred something years ago, a war with Muggles had broke out and almost wiped out magic in entirety, because a wannabe Voldemort fan had literally gone on stage and started firing curses. Around two years, three hydrogen bombs, five new Unforgivable Curses and considerable loss to both sides later, an agreement was made, and magic was separated from the Muggle world, forever. The United Nations had erased all digital evidence of magic, and the ICW had used an overpowered Forgetfulness Potion, keyed to the existence of magic, on the world's water supply. That worked.
Today was the day. He had convinced his personal elf, Dippy, on letting him out to buy some books. She was suspicious at first, her master was way too quirky for her taste. But after about an hour of relentless begging bribing and promises of pay drops, the poor elf caved. She drooped her overly large ears, and reluctantly allowed him release from the Manor. This was a truly special occasion.
He quickly dressed in a viridian sweater (It seemed that the Wizarding Britain was finally out of the 19th century) loose black pants, and tied his long hair into a ponytail. He turned to the mirror and took a look at himself. His reflection promptly swooned at him in an uber-gay manner.. But he had more important things to do other than gawking at his hotness. After packing his clothes, a few barnhouses worth of food, potions, and enough Firewhiskey and Butterbeer to solve world hunger twice, he quickly decided to make a detour to the library, and visit Hermione. As expected, the ghost of his late wife was lying on top of a bookshelf, reading a book written in an obscure language. The story for their marriage was actually quite hilarious. Right before wedding day of Harry and Ginny, Hermione had found Ginny doing various sexual acts with Ron. Needless to say, she immediately went to Harry, and told him what was going on behind his adolescent back. Harry got furious. He instead convinced Hermione to do the ritual with him, and she complied. The next day, he got a Howler from Molly saying "HARRY JAMES POTTER! HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON MY POOR DAUGHTER, BREAK HER HEART AND MARRY THAT BINT GRANGER? YOU COME HERE RIGHT NOW AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF!", along with a Portkey to the Burrow. He remembered storming into the Weasley residence with a bottle of Veritaserum, and proptly Stunning Ginny and dropping three drops of Veritaserum down her throat. Five minutes and six very shocked Weasleys later, Ginny and Ron was disowned, and he had a new, smoking hot Weasley Jumper. Molly couldn't look at his face for five months after that event.
Harry called for Hermione. No answer. She was probably too caught up in the damned book. He sighed. He had no choice. He levitated (Hey, he had eternal life, he was bound to learn tons of nifty tricks!) to her and flicked the book out of her grasp. With her concentration broken, the magic holding the book up failed, and the book dropped from the bookshelf. The startled ghost slowly turned, and quietly said "Harry James Potter. You better have an amazing explanation as to why you just threw the only copy of Quaeso Mitte Auxilium left in existence, or I swear to you, I will assure that you never sleep properly again." Harry just chuckled. " 'Mione, I think we both know you would just do that for two nights at most, before you get your nose buried in a book again." She sputtered indignantly. "Why I never-". Harry interrupted: " 'Mione, I'm leaving." She stopped mid-rant.
"What?" she asked. "You heard me." Said Harry, with a grin on his face. "I am sick and tired of this immortality shite, so I'm gonna just visit Gringotts, empty all my vaults and jump at the Veil." Hermione was baffled. "Harry." She slowly started. "Do you have ANY idea how dangerous that is?" She continued, slowly getting louder. " 'Mione. I have studied everything about the Veil. It might be the only thing I haven't tried." Argued Harry. Hermione didn't agree. "But Harry, what if there's nothing there? Or what if you fall into The Gap? What would happen?"
"Well, if I die, that's a win. I have always wanted to die. Nothing worked." Said Harry, with a forlorn gaze. He continued: "And if there's an endless gap..." He paused, obviously not prepared for this argument "Well, I'll find a way. Probably. I hope." he said, with a sheepish grin covering his face
Hermione was not growled. "Harry James bloody Potter. If you fall into the Gap, I will personally find a way to bring you back, and I will personally castrate you. Am I clear to you?" Harry gulped. He knew she wasn't kidding. "C-crystal." he stuttered. He picked up half the books out of their shelves and practically ran out of the extensive library. Hermione just watched him go, huffed to herself, and got back to her book.
After that terrifying farewell to Hermione, he arrived at Diagon Alley. It had changed a lot since he was gone. It looked less squashed and more... industrial. It looked more like a mall than a poorly made neighborhood now. But Gringotts was exactly the same as he remembered. The intimidating marble-and-gold decoration was as menacing as it was beautiful. As he looked at the building, he could hear some members of the fairer sex swoon at him. But he paid no mind. He had a more important mission in mind, and nothing would stop him. Except ice cream. He really craved ice cream right now. Maybe after he got his riches out of that building.
He slowly entered the white building. Yep, the interior was the same as well. He walked to a teller and said " Hello, my name is Lord Harry James Potter, and I'm here to withdraw all my money from the bank."The goblin, obviously skeptical, slowly said " Ooooh... Kay.. I am going to need a drop of blood on the paper." Yet another new thing. Paper.
He pulled his goblin-made pocketknife and slit his finger, letting the blood fall onto the page. The paper glowed blue, and the goblin looked almost disappointed. " Everything seems to be in order. Now, you said you were going to withdraw all your money, yes?" "Exactly." "Alright then, I will escort you to our manager, since your withdrawal is over ten thousand galleons" "Alrighty then."
After five minutes of gut wrenching twists and turns in the Gringotts Minecart of Death, they had arrived in a gold embroidered wooden door, with an intricate silver plaque with "Harpok, Manager" writing on it in bold intricate letters. The goblin rapped three times on the door. "A voice in Gobbledygook which Harry guessed meant "Enter" could be heard. They entered the office. It looked like a miniature office with two human-sized and two goblin-sized chairs. The old goblin behind the desk, presumably Harpok, was waiting for them. Once Harry was seated in one of the human-sized chair, Harpok gestured to the goblin teller and said "You may leave." The teller just bowed and left.
"So." Started Harpok. "I see that you want to withdraw all your assets from our bank. Might I ask why?" Harry fidgeted. " Well, eternal life is kinda boring, so I decided to kill myself by leaping into the Veil." The goblin looked mildly shocked. Once he regained his composure, he coolly asked "May I ask, why are you taking your money if you're going to commit suicide?" Harry just said "Well, I want Hermione to move on." "Who is this Hermione?" "The ghost of my late wife. She said she won't pass on until she exhhausted the Potter library; and my money funds the purchase of new books.". The goblin sighed. "Fine. You do know that this withdrawal will cost you quite a fee, yes?" "Depends on the fee." Harry quickly replied. To his surprise, the old goblin started chuckling. Once his unnerving chuckles ended, the old goblin said: You truly are serious about this, aren't you?" Harry felt slightly offended. He coolly said: "Yes. Now can you please tell me the fee to me withdrawing all my money?"
The old goblin gleefully said "It's a full twenty percent of all your fortune, plus the expandable trunk, which makes for about one billion, three hundred fifty seven million, seven hundred thirty five thousand two hundred and one Galleons, five Sickles and a Knut." Harry just whistled appreciatively. "Wow. That's a huge amount of money. Money that I am willing to spend, I must add." The goblin just shook his head, muttered something about idiotic humans and handed him a piece of paper. He simply said "Sign this, Mr Potter, and all the assets, both cash and liquid, will come to you in about about five minutes." After spending ten minutes reading the contract, fine print and all, he deemed the contract in order and signed it. True to the goblin's word, aorganized trunk full of books, jewelry, heirlooms and, of course, money appeared in Harry's hand, right before he got unceremoniously kicked out of Gringotts.
After eating his triple chocolate ice cream, Harry Potter decided it was time. It was time, once again, break into the Department of Mysteries. He quickly wore the Invisibility Cloak and flashed( Yet again a nifty trick he had picked up over the years. This was basically, according to the Potter grimoire, a more stealthy way of apparating, but instead of instant travel, flashing sent him in around five seconds. Plus there were no wards against it.) into the Department of Mysteries.
This time, since his mind was not clouded by Voldemort and tits (Well, not really) he could navigate a tad better than before. But even then, this thrice-be-damned place was like a bloody maze! Around 30 minutes , and three destroyed prophecy orbs later, he arrived at the Death Chamber. The scorch marks on the wall from the battle were still left there, probably as a tribute. But it didn't matter now. The Veil was just the same as he remembered. He readied his magic. He felt a knot in his stomach. He took a deep breath. And jumped in.
And he was greeted with emptiness.
So... This is my first work. I know, it's pretty shitty, but I tried. Also sporadic update warning. I am in high school. And before you can ask, The only pairing in this will be Quinn/Gary. Avocato will die. I plan on Harry entering the lil' merry crew at the end of 5th episode. I think. I already drafted Avocato's death, cos I'm evil like that muahaha. Please leave a review if you enjoyed it! Anyway, thanks for reading!