Okay, I need your help.
Please don't tell anyone.
Amy stared down at her phone in silence, her fingers gently tracing the sides of her case as she read the two texts back over and over. She'd done it on her way over there, and who knew how long she'd been standing here in front of his front door. Sonic had never actually reached out to her about these things before, let alone anyone else. He wasn't really someone who liked to willingly express negative emotions, so it shocked her to suddenly get such a text. Usually when something was wrong, it was played off as "Hey, you wanna go throw baseballs at glass bottles in the junkyard at three am because we're both upset?" It wasn't ever just..I need your help. That's what worried her.
Gently, she knocked on the door, tucking her phone away in her shoulder bag and waiting for a moment to be answered. It took longer than she expected, already plunging her worry deeper than it already needed to be, and when he answered..He seemed perfectly normal. That might've actually weirded her out the most.
"Oh hey! You made it!" His usual cheery tone was there, but somewhere she heard a slight crack in his voice. He looked around her as if to make sure no one was following, before stepping back to invite her in.
"Tails made cookies! He wanted to try this weird mint chip recipe he found, since we all know he's crazy about mint. They're actually not that bad! Just..not my thing. You can grab some if you want! He knows you're coming by!"
He was..a bit too cheery for someone who'd texted her like he did. It's not like it was his normal to text with periods and lowercase either. She knew that, everyone knew that. Something was up. And she figured it had something to do with him avoiding his feelings. She knew it was coming, that he'd get so close and then back out of it, but she'd crack him somehow, that's what she was here for. She knew that's what he wanted too.
"Right. I'll Ah..bring some home with me. Why don't we catch up first? It's been a good minute since I've hung out with anyone. I know you and Tails have been up to a lot~ wanna ramble about that?"
His ears perked up in interest as he turned on his heel toward her, leaning against the counter all casual like.
"Well~ we met this cool gal, Tangle! She's this lemur with a super long tail that's almost like a hand! We hung out with her for awhile..oh! And Blaze is back! She wants to help with the resistance! Thought you'd be happy to know that~"
Amy had to keep her cheeks from flushing at the mention, before clearing her throat with a smile, going to sit back in one of the bar stool chairs.
"I'll make sure I keep an eye out for her~ Anyone else I should know about?"
"Oh yeah! This gal named Whisper! Silver's all about her, and at first I didn't really get her, but..she's kinda like Shadow! She works with people she really trusts, even if at first she seems kinda cut off from everyone else!" He continued, already feeling a bit better just talking about new friends, though he knew it wouldn't wholly stir the problem from his thoughts.
"There was a couple other smaller things but~ not much from my end besides daily plane tests and explorin' the countryside~ what about you?"
Amy simply laughed at this, playing with one of her bracelets before leaning against one of her arms.
"Well..nothing as exciting as you, I'm sure..just resistance work and sometimes visiting Vanilla and Cream. She's grown so much, it's crazy! I work for so long sometimes, it really doesn't hit me how long it's actually been until I can feel my quills hitting my shoulders, you know?" She tried to lighten the mood, playing with her longer hair for added effect. There was something about her that just..made Sonic feel better than he was before. Even if it was just talking to her, she always managed to keep a positive attitude. How was she so good at that?
"Hey..Ames, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what's on your mind?"
He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to ruin the small, happy reunion they were having..but he needed to know.
"How do you..stay so positive all the time? I mean, you're the leader of the resistance and yet you seem so unfazed by everything..like when you guys rescued me. Yeah, you were pretty emotional then but..it was only because you were worried about me. You never once seemed stressed that Eggman had taken over Mobius..and that you were at the head of all that." He paused, noticing that she was avoiding his gaze now, her fingers tracing the patterned lines on the counter.
"..I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that..I just-"
"No it's okay." She quickly interrupted him, her eyes falling down to her lap as her tracing slowed to a stop.
"I guess you got me~ I..I'm not good with my own feelings. Probably because I've never had to deal with anything big before. I've never felt upset about anything significant. When I started the resistance..it was a simple thing to look for you. Just our friends and I hoping that you weren't dead. And then months passed, things became more serious and..everything depended on my judgement. Every time we lost something, it was on me. Every time we lost someone? Me again. Every time..I'd write to myself, and when that wouldn't work..I'd just..cry. I'd find somewhere that nobody else was, and I'd cry. Shadow left, Tails left..and I felt like I failed you. Even if you were dead, I couldn't keep two of the most important people in your life safe. I didn't even go after them.." her voice wavered at that last part, before she stopped, realizing there were tears dripping into her lap. She tried to wipe them away, before sighing softly. This wasn't about her..but she felt like both of them needed to know this.
"..I realize now that..what I felt then, that's what you feel like every day. And I'm so sorry you have to carry that burden."
Damnit. She really knew how to read people. He bet she could hear the cracking of his shell. He bet she knew he was going to break any minute now. Maybe that was okay, but he still wasn't sure. He'd try to put this as delicately as he could. Gently, he took one of her hands, watching her head lift a little.
"Remember when we first met? I saved you from Metal and you said I could stay with you because I was a stupid runaway kid not much older than you. And I said, sure but don't get attached! And then your parents ended up spoiling me so much I stayed for almost a year? I think that was one of the best homes I've had."
Amy nodded, a small smile coming to her face as she met his gaze with watery eyes.
"Hah..yeah..and we would stay up all night watching corny movies and looking at cute boys. And you'd act like you hated school, but then saw how fun my classes were and tried to join in with me." She earned a laugh with that one.
"Yeah well-! They weren't normal classes! I've never met anyone who took five language classes and a chao caretaking class!" He tried to defend himself, pouting rather indignantly.
"Besides that, they had cool PE games. And I totally kicked butt at every one! But..then I left for awhile..I met Tails and Knuckles..we all went on adventures..people started knowing my name..they started looking up to me, counting on me. And I became exactly what I'd ran away from."
Amy noticed his voice fading again, watching as he sat back in the stool behind him, still leaning against the counter.
"I became someone that gave orders..that..people would solely trust in just because I did a couple really cool things. It's like..I know I'm fated to do great things, I know I'm connected to chaos and I'm super powerful, but I just..I wanna do all that and still be me. I don't want people thinking that my word is law. I don't wanna be the reason behind failure..I don't want people sacrificing themselves for me. I'm just one guy." He paused again, looking down to his hands, before clenching them into fists.
"I sometimes wonder what the world would be like if I did die. Not that I want to..but I wonder. Sure, things would be awful..but they'd get better, right? Shadow's just as good at saving the world as I am. Silver too..you're an amazing leader, even if it's stressful sometimes. So is Knuckles. Tails is practically following in my footsteps..it's like..things would be okay without me. And I'm not just saying that because I think I don't matter..I just want the world to know that they don't always have to look to me. They can look inside themselves for judgement."
When he finished, he realized how quiet the atmosphere had gotten, and he quickly grew nervous.
"Sorry, I guess the deep feeling juice is really running its course."
"Does it feel better?"
Amy smiled, knowing she'd worked her magic on him. Not even Sonic could bottle up his emotions around her.
"Talking about it with someone. Does it help?"
Ah shit..that's what she was doing all along, wasn't it? He'd really gotten eased into this so easily! He simply scoffed, trying to play it off as a small blush came to his cheeks. What a sucker.
"I guess it does~ ya really got me there, Ames~ remind me to get you back."
Rolling her eyes, she hopped down from her stool, going over to hug him and hearing his playful groans of embarrassment.
"No~! Not the gentle hugs~! I refuse to be this sappy!"
"Deal with it, punk. Because I'm staying like this for a good minute! If you squirm, I'm only making it tighter!" She teased back, before backing out of the hug with a giggle, she met his gaze for a moment, brushing back her quills before feeling herself being pulled back in. Her head rest against his chest, feeling his muzzle against the top of her head.
"..Thanks, Amy. I really needed this."
She gently hugged him back, her fingers brushing the spot between his back spikes just like how she knew he liked it. It was calm. It was nice. It was a small moment, before the kitchen door was kicked open by Tails, causing the both of them to frantically jump out of the embrace.
Tails simply eyed the two in confusion, before going to grab a soda bottle from the fridge. He grinned playfully to Sonic, earning a side eye from him before hurrying back to the door.
"It's nice to see you, Amy!"
"Tails.." Sonic spoke between his teeth, faking a smile as Tails cackled, shutting the door behind him before he could face the other's wrath. He knew exactly what he'd done..
"..so. You wanna watch corny movies and talk about boys like old times?" Amy tried to stray from the awkward moment, gently squeezing his hand and causing him to revert his gaze.