Here I am with a third story!

*Schiva piano* Heya! Attenzione con la roba!

I know that I have another two stories which are going to be long, but at least I want to pubblish a teaser of this one (because no one looks at the damn poll)

Now, about the story:

You know how my other two story are pretty light hearted (even if the protagonist is an edgy teenager with strong power with the Force)?

Well, forget that light.

This story will be darker.

Not as much as this first chapter, but dark nonetheless.

I need something to vent my frustration and knowledge on.

And I need something to give my… previous hard feelings a bit of leeway.

Second. This will not be a Tragedy.

Don't like them.

It will be dark, yes. I will try to show the shadowy nature of the Gods in their mythos, yes.

But not a tragedy.

Third: FEM-Percy.

Cause Deus vult.

And I still am not good enough to write that kind of stories.

The rest of the AN will be at the end of the chapter.

Good read.



"I am the bone of my sword"

When did I start thinking about doing this?

Was it when my memories became ash, and what remained was regret and swords?

Was it when I took his dreams, and made them mine?

Was it when I held her lifeless body, and the last member of my family died saying to be happy?

"Steel is my Body and Fire is my Blood"

Was it when I was unable to not go to try save someone, even when I had all?

Was it when, even when she cried and begged and shouted and cursed to value myself, to not go, to remain, I continued on this cursed path?

Was it when she left me, finally reaching the truth that I was nothing more than a machine and that being with me was nothing more than an hindrance?

"I have created over a thousand Blades"

Was it when I was first unable to save a life?

Was it when I saw the result of me not being strong enough?

Was it when I did the pact and sold my soul to the Devil?

"Unknown to Death, nor known to Life"

Was it when I saved that person?

Was it when that person decided, to gain more power for himself, that I was the culprit of a war?

Was it when I saw, in my last moments, I saw aqua blue eyes while a voice shouted at me?

"I have withstood pain to create many weapons"

Was it when my ideal first betrayed me?

Was it when my ideal betrayed me a second, a third, a thousandth time?

Was it when, for my ideal, I had to kill those that I swore to protect a million times forevermore?

"Yet these hands will never hold anything"

Was it when I was first summoned by her, in an unknown future or a past long forgotten, and I had to see myself again?

Was it when I first recognized, recognize, will recognize the signs of myself going on the same path that now I despised?

Was it when, every time I returned, return, will return to the throne, more and more weapons came in my world inside the Throne of Heroes, showing how many of these selves would walk my path?

"So as I pray"

But all of these things had no meaning.

The only thing which was important was that the mistake would end.

"Unlimited Blade Works"

Emiya Shirou would die, even if he was another self, and that pitiful existence would finally end at that moment.

A great fire was born around us, and then the derelict castle we were in was no more.

I looked down at the fool with nothing more than indiference and, with my voice full of serene determination, I declared:

"You are nothing more than a fool who knows how much his dreams are unattainable, a fraud, nay, a puppet without a will of his own who wasted his life on a ridiculous ideal".

Then I asked:

"Can you finally see how much saving people only because you wish for you to save them is selfish and misguided? Can't you see that there is no point in a life like ours?"

Shirou Emiya snarled at him, defiant at his words, but I continued, my voice full of resigned calm:

"You know that I am your ideal, and you should know how did we end"

With a rage cry, Shirou Emiya charged at me, prana forming the black form of Kanshou, but I blocked his sword and its white wife Bakuya with my own Kanshou, and continued to talk without any issue:

"I suppose that you, being the idealistic Shirou Emiya, can do nothing more than reject me"

I broke our stalemate with my superior strength, making him falter, but he returned back with a sloppy attack from Bakuya followed by an even sloppier one made with Kanshou, after which I forced him to not move by blocking the hilt.

Then I made the question, my voice composted:

"Now tell me: knowing what you know, do you honestly want to become an Hero of Justice?"

"I've already told you that" answered immediately Shirou Emiya, rage flowing through him contrasting my own calmness:"Is not that I want to become one: is that I will be one!"

I let him force my own guard, unbalancing him and then blocking him behind my back, while blocking his black falchion, which tried to hit my side, with my white one.

While my the blade of my Bakuya sunk in the coast of his Kanshou, with a resigned tone, or maybe an illuminated one, I said:

"You are right, you must become one no matter what. You are Shirou Emiya, and that's the only thing you have been passionate about"

I lowered my eyes, thinking of all the wounds I had fighting against Monsters, both humans and inhumans, trying to both dispense Salvation and Justice on the whole humanity.


"You know that the heart of an Hero of Justice simply isn't in you" I continued, my words coming sour both for their contents and for what I would have to do after.

A whimper came from behind my back.

"You see?" were my tired words:"Your reaction tells me that you had always suspected yourself. My memories are confused, but there is still one sight that remained in me all this time: the flames and the pervasive stench of Death; wishing for help when there was none; what I felt when the wish was granted; but most of all, I remember the look of relief on Kiritsugu Emiya's face when he saved me.

There is where your dream began: it was some time before you finally felt some gratitude for being saved. You adored Kiritsugu Emiya, that's all, and because of him, because you saw how happy he was when he saved you, you began to think that you could have the same thing".

I then remained silent for some moments, letting those words sink in.

In those moments I remembered all the suffering I caused, all the death, the pain, the loss, the blood, the bodies, the broken dreams.

All of them were before me, laid bare in this barren wasteland.

Then I looked at the clouded sky and the broken cogs, the symbol of how much my dream had destroyed me, of how much I had lost due to it, and I continued:

"Children will often idolize their parents but, when he died, a curse was your inheritance. At that moment that man left you no choice but to become a hero. The beliefs you cling to are nothing more than second hand ideals Kiritsugu Emiya failed to live up to. In the end all you are doing is imitating what he believed was right.

Hero of Justice. Don't make me laugh" the acidity of the words themselves were enough to make me almost kill him there and then, but I had to say it all.

I had to destroy the ideals themselves, to have the complete chance of cancelling the mistake that I was.

"Just because the ideal consumes you, it doesn't mean that helping others is something you truly want. It's nothing but a borrowed dream. Someone like you thinking that you are able to break that oxymoron it's the height of hybris!"

I cleaved in half his Kanshou and then pierced his thigh.

An heart wrenching cry of pain came from the boy, who then fell on the ground helpless, but my words continued to flow, relentless:

"That's right, you couldn't help but to admire the beauty in our father dream of helping others!"

Anger flew through me when I slashed down, nearly killing the boy if he didn't get up and hastily put on a guard.

"That's why we never developed any real passion of our own!"

I attacked again Shirou Emiya, knocking him back, and continuing my offense my thoughts went directly into speech:

"We added hypocrisy to hypocrisy, driven by this ridiculous obsession with killing with sacrificing myself for the sake of others, blind to our own arrogance!"

Being my argument almost at the end, my Bakuya hit its target for hopefully the last time, a mortal wound to the side of the fool, my hatred for that curse reaching its peak, while in the background a female shout reached my ears, coming from Saber herself:

"But in the end we are nothing more than a fraud" I finished, my tone regretful at what we could have been if that wretched dream hadn't grown inside our hearts:"And our hypocrisy can't save anyone! How could we, when we never knew who we should save to begin with! And look, this is the result! We could never be a saviour, we never had anything to save after we left them! We became the embodiment of Justice, and Justice doesn't care about Salvation!"

I hit with my Kanshou, breaking the fool's own swords, and launching the body many meters before me, with another grave wound running on his torso.

Knowing that finally the end was near, my voice returned almost calm, while I could feel that my face was still snarling:

"Your ideals are finally falling apart. Maybe other people aren't more important than we are. It's dawning on you that a world everyone is happy is just a fairy tale. And, if you can't live without that dream, let it drag you down and drown you!"

A last hiccup came from the fool, when the remains of the two swords became blue particles of Prana again.

It's done.

Finally, it's done.

I almost laughed while looking at my corpse, but I was able to restrain myself, and instead I took a last look at my own world.

Finally, finally I would embrace the sweet end, and this accursed world would finally finish here.

I smiled.

I truly, completely smiled for the first time in centuries.

Then a memory slammed into my mind:

*Are you my Master?*

And then Prana came out from the body in front of me, like gusts of wind.

The boy got up on his knees and, while his eyes were vacant and he was still wounded, I saw that he was still alive.

Then blinding lights came from his wounds, and stitches of pure Prana started to close them.


Avalon. Even with the pact severed, that artefact that our fat- Kiritsugu Emiya used to save us still is able to cure his wounds.

"I am…"

A soft whisper came in my hears, voiced by Shirou Emiya, which made me freeze for one moment and then summon in my hands my two faithful swords for another time.

"The bone of my sword"

Two beacons of light appeared in his hands, just when I launched my two falchions.

"I can't lose!"

Shouted Shirou Emiya, deflecting the floating falchions with his new formed pair.

"Not to you!"

*Not to you!*

I flinched slightly at the shout, a far echo coming from my soul, and I heard only part of his spiel against me, his eyes fierce again while his Kanshou pointed at me:

"…I will defeat the part of me that is you!"

Then Shirou Emiya charged at me again, and every doubt was drown by steel and sparks.

Only a jaded Servant, fighting for his right to die, and an idealistic fool, fighting for his right to live, remained.

"Your ability have reached a turning point, but there is still a sea between your skill and mine"

Then I kicked him, but he was able to remain on his feet and he answered, his voice sure:

"You could have beaten my belief, but I still have my hands and feet-"

*-And while I could be defeated, I refuse to be beaten by myself!*

Again my soul resonated, for some reason.

What was happening?

When I was able to regain my sight, my-Shirou Emiya was on me again, and his swords clashed on my hastily formed guard, while my lips morphed into an expression of annoyance at my inability of slaying the boy in front of me.

This annoyance was voiced from my own angered voice, just after I had kicked my past-Shirou Emiya to make distance:

"Pathetic. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic! Can't you see how much foolish is what you are doing?! True Justice is the result of laws, of order, while a world where everyone is happy is simply impossible! What you are trying to follow is the path of the murderer!"

Figures of men, women, children dead by my hand continued to appear in my eyes, reminding of how much an hypocrite I am.

"What you say is true" was the calm response of Shirou Emiya, his spirit now strong:"But just because are correct does not mean that-

*You are right!*

Again, again, again with those words! Why did they keep to resonate!? WHY!?

Then he was on me again. How was he able to match my skills with the swords in such a short time?

I tried to use my superior force when he was on air, having read my style and trying to capitalize on it, and I caught him with a hit with a hilt, and made him fly again.

He got up again, and defiant his golden eyes looked into me, and another echo came into me

*I can now die happily*


Why does he still stand!?

Why can't that cursed belief be broken?!

I will have to destroy the spirit along the body, then, for myself to be finally erased!

I summoned from the Marble my copies, and with the slightest thought they flew at my pas-Shirou Emiya, who just deflected them, starting a reckless charge at me.

*Come on, Baka, you can do it!*

For every step he took, my Marble changed while the voice of Rin came into my mind, while she tried to teach m- Shirou Emiya.

Why do these memory appear? He still didn't have them.

So I continued my onslaught, breaking his Kanshou and leaving only Bakuya, his Prana having been outlasted by the fight.

*Sempai, wake up, it's morning*

Sakura, waking m-my past self up after he had returned from the Clocktower.


How was it possible!?

I continued, these time four enormous swords appeared and were launched against Shirou Emiya, but with a shout of determination

"My ideals-"

*-Are not wrong!* he continued his charge, only broken remains of Bakuya remaining when he charged desperate at me, my arm with a still perfect Bakuya held high to strike him down.

But I did nothing.

I only looked at his eyes.

He wasn't wrong.

We only wanted to be happy.

Maybe he could go on without occurring to my fate?

What a cruelty to make me look at someone so bright, with every step changing me, the ideals that I thought to be wrong moving someone who was the very thing that I wanted to be.

So why there was still this sensation of having already seen it?

Why could I feel that something was amiss?

Then, just then, I looked at not my past self head's, and saw a tuff of white hair.

Nothing more than a few strays strings of pure white, but it was enough for my mind to remember, for the Grail to fail its purpose and make my mind complete once more.

When my past self was at ten meters from me, I remembered the summoning of Saber in every detail.

When my past self was at five meters from me, I remembered the fight against Tohsaka.

When my past self was at three meters from me, I remembered the battle against Caster and Kozuki and the loss of Saber.

When my past self was at two meters from me, I remembered the second battle and… myself… summoning Unlimited Blade Works for the first time.

When my past self was at one meter from me, and his sword was at an inch from hitting my side, I saw my battle against myself.

So the Archer of my Grail war wasn't Ajax, like I thought for a long time, but myself?

But that would mean-

My arm lowered, my instincts no longer stopped by my clouded mind, and everything became black.

"This cannot stand"

What's happening?

"You have done a great crime against humanity, Counter Guardian EMIYA, and for this crime, you shall be punished "

What? What's happening?! Why can't I move?!

"For the crimes made against the world and humanity by the creation of a paradox, you will observe the fate of those your erased self helped, while taking care yourself of your other selves"

What do you mean?!

"Enjoy your last mission, EMIYA. Your employment is finally at the end, and humanity has been greatly helped by your work"

What do you mean, Alaya?!

My swords, arrow, hands murdered, leaving a young boy, man, assassin without any salvation.

Whywhywhy do I have to see this?! What doeshumanity gain from this?!

My swords, arrow, hands slayed, leaving a young girl, woman, sister without any hope.

WHYWHYWHYWHY?! Make it stop!

My swords, arrow, hands erased, leaving a young girl, woman, junior without any smile on her lips.


My swords, arrow, hands destroyed, leaving a young girl, woman, king without anyone searching for her.

… Why does my existence only hurt? Why?

My swords, arrow, hands killed, leaving a young girl, woman, lover without anyone to save.

I only wanted to be happy.

"Erasing the paradox Counter Guardian EMIYA"

Now are you happy, Emiya Shirou?

Are you?

But what was the truth, what is the truth, is that I should have never existed in the first place.

At least I would have stopped hurting and hurt, not because I simply was a mistake, but because with my mistake I killed those that I loved, who didn't have anything to do with my cursed self are now slayed by my own hands because of my pact with Alaya.

At least, my only comfort, was that the Sin that I was would be destroyed, and no-one would follow my path.

"Counter guardian EMIYA erased"

Thus I was finally erased, painlessly, and I saw no-more

Oh? And what are you doing here, O ancient hero? Your deeds are heroics, but the Elysium wouldn't stand a soul such as yours, and it doesn't deserve you.


But being together with me, even for someone who would embrace that fate, would be a disservice to an Hero such as you.

Do not call me an Hero!

Could you go to the Beatific Islands, along with the greatest heroes? No, you would take it as a golden prison, and you don't deserve it.

Leave. Me. DIE!

Incredible. Even without any substance, your soul is already able to wrestle some control against me. But I can't let you flicker away. It would set a terrible precedent.

Just leave me!

But maybe… That would work… But…

Who are you?!

Just an old goddess who wants to help both her kin and to right some wrongs.

There are only two gods, and both hate me, so leave me alone!

I'm neither those entities you call Alaya, nor the one you ironically call Gaia. Just know that I am deeply related with the latter. After all is no good to ask so much information from a woman!

What in the Root do you want, and what will make you go away!?

I said it, didn't I? You did so much good for humanity that only one prize is fitting for you. But you have broken the laws in fact. Soooo…



Whoa! That nearly injured me! But now I have an idea! Kukuku! Now, thus I, the Primordial, declare


What do you think, cool ain't it?

What the hell?

Underworld. Now chop chop! You don't want to be late for your birthday, don't you?

Wait, what?!


"Push! One last time!"


I opened my eyes, only to see a blurry red suffused light.

And it was hot.

Comfortably hot.

He could hear a somewhat familiar beat, which for some reason soothed him.

And he could feel that he was immerged in something in that moment.

Where was I?

Then a pulsation came, and from the comfortable place he was moved in what could be only called a claustrophobic, shadowy tunnel.

Where the fuck was I?!

"Push! I can see the head!"


What in the Root was happening?!

'I did say that it wouldn't be good to be late for your birthday, didn't I?'commented the amused voice of the 'Goddess' inside my head.

Let's just say that I didn't understand what she was talking about:

'What do you mean with birthday?!'

'Exactly what I said. Today is your birthday, old soul! *Inhale* *PFFFT!*' Was that a trumpet? 'Now let yourself be born again, Hero!'

No. Nonononono.


"The head is out! Come on, one last push!" shouted an excited female voice, just after I went out in the cold air, while couldn't see anything more than a several grey coloured blurs and an horrible light, and my head was supported by two big hands.

"FUCK YOU, HEPHAESTUS, THIS BABY, AND MYSELF FOR HAVING THE IDEA OF DOING IT! NOW COME OUT, YOU LITTLE FUUUUUUU-!" shouted an extremely pained voice, female as well, whose voice came from… under him?

With an inhuman effort I was able to see where I cam- fuck no! NO!

'It's strange to see your birth' the voice was meditative? How could you be meditative with the… the… that! 'O, calm down. I wasn't given birth, seeing it by the part of the birthed is interesting'.

Only a deeply disturbed individual would find it interesting!

Then, followed by a sound which could be only called Relief, he came completely out of…there, and immediately was taken up and inclined a bit, and the analytical part of his mind was aware of the reason the nurse (if that was a nurse) was doing this.

But that analytical part was completely drowned by the indignation, rage and sheer disbelief of what was happening.

But rage was at the foremost of what was happening, and I instinctually tried to shout at the unfairness of it all.

That shout was too similar to a baby cry to my muffled ears.

'Happy Birthday to you!' exclaimed the annoying voice from inside my mind, annoyance which showed outside with little cries.

"I'm going to call your father that you have already given birth and to take the camera!" I heard the excited woman say after giving me to the other woman.

Then I felt that comfortable heat again, along with that familiar beat, which made my shouting of rage calm somehow.

Then a comforting hand came to rub my head gently, and with equal gentleness I heard this sweet voice:

"Finally I can see you with my eyes, Sochi. It was a veeeery long wait, but I'm so happy that you are finally born"

Uuuuh. Why was I so sleepy?

"At first I wanted to name you Basara, but now your cute white hair is making me change my mind. What do you say about… Shirou? Kajiya Shirou, son of Kajiya Misato and Hephaestus".

I heard one horrible thing, but as tired as I was I could only make a low lament before slumbering.

"Again here, I see"

Just… what do you want?

"Why this tired tone? You just had an occasion that heroes in the calibre of Odysseus didn't have. Why are you so angered by it?"

You-you want me to explain why now I hate this situation, and for that you?

"Well, hating me seems a bit too much, but-"

Because I'm again bounded against my will to a deity.


Because now I'm going to be used against my will, again!


Because I only wanted to die for my sins, for what I've done!




My body appeared and, maybe due to my own anger, maybe due to my own desperation, my Magecraft activated and swords of all the shape and dimensions appeared around me, illuminating the void, while I felt a familiar weight came in my hands.

But that wasn't registered in my mind, clouded by raw emotions, and with a snarl I ended:

"This is why I wanted to be erased! My presence brings only suffering to those around me, my actions didn't bring anything other than pain! Even my inner self isn't anything else than a barren wasteland filled with death! Why would I want to continue my existence after what I did!"

Then, and only then, I felt my anger vanish and be replaced by apathy and mentally I raised all the weapons which were in what could be called ground on the air, pointing now in all direction, but Kanshou and Bakuya, which familiar weight in my hands calmed me.

"…Calm down, calm down, I understood what you meant the first time" said the voice all around me in a soothing tone, while the darkness around me shifted in a strange way.

I nodded, not at all confused by the strangeness of this place, but my eyes were still glaring all around me and my weapons still ready.

"…Why do you desire so much to die?" asked the voice after a few seconds of silence, the darkness around still twitching at every word.

And I answered, thinking that she would let me be erased if she understood my reasons: "I don't have any ideals to fight for anymore, those have betrayed me long ago. I don't have nor want any loved one to fight for anymore, my actions have destroyed those that I had long ago. And I don't have any reason to fight for myself anymore, I simply am too old to care about myself any longer. So, if I don't have anything to look for in the future and having destroyed with my hands not only my past, but my other selves pasts, why should I remain around? To follow the orders of another deity like a mindless drone again? I would simply kill myself again, but I don't think that you would let me do it, right?"

All of this was said in a flat tone, while my lips in the end twisted in a tired smile, which seemed an insult to a normal one.

After a few moments the void around me vibrated at the sound of a soft sigh, then I heard the feminine voice say with a sorry tone:

"Maybe I was a bit hasty in my decision, I hope that you could forgive me for this decision".

I could feel the real regret in the words, but even then I couldn't do anything else than rise my eyebrows in surprise.

A deity which asked forgiveness? Impossible.

"But there is a little problem *cough*Ikindacan'teraseyounow*cough*"

Did I just hear something ridiculous again?

"What do you mean that you can't erase me? Aren't you a deity? Don't you have an absolute power?" I demanded, my voice gaining more than a bit of steel, while the swords around me started vibrating.

"Weelll… I have used my powers to declare… and I don't have enough powers to cancel that declaration… so I can't erase you"

"In summary I am your slave?" I asked quietly, despite the desperation of being in this situation again starting to seep through.

"NO!" shouted the voice, making my swords vibrate and my hears ring, and after a few moment a more calm voice returned:"No. What I can do is waiting for some time to… take your life"

"And why should this 'wait' be necessary if I can simply kill me here and now" I asked with the most untrusting tone I had ever used.

"Because I would need to erase even the memories of you, and some of those who know of your existence are gods. I don't think you want for them to suffer or search for you, right? Then I would need to cancel the declare, not a small task" explained the voice without any rebuttal nor annoyance at my tone.

But it left out one thing:"How much time before you are ready?"

"Give or take… fifteen/sixteen years. Yeah, around that to make sure" said the voice with a strange tone.

But I didn't care about it.

Sixteen years, uh?

It wasn't this long time compared to how much I had passed under Alaya's service, and I didn't think that there was any lie said by the deity.

But I didn't want for her to have that much power on me, she could simply change her mind and make me do what she desired.

So I talked with a calm tone:

"If you give me the switch to use the power I will make this pact with you, and make a Geass with me, then I agree"

"So" asked the voice with a tone strangely hopeful:"you want an oath to make sure that I uphold my word?"

"Yes" I answered curtly, slightly confused at the question.

"I swear on my immortal soul that in sixteen years from now I will let this Emiya Shirou, wrought Iron hero, the one that I summoned, make the decision on his life, if to continue or to end it, this I add on my declaration!" the deity declared, and, after a shudder at the use of that name, I could feel a sensation very similar to a Geass being etched into my very soul, but it was… different? Stronger? More sacred? I don't know, but it felt all these things.

But what did the voice mean with the decision? I only wanted to erase myself, nothing more and nothing less.

After all what could I find now, after all these years and death?

Even in this new world, where there were seemingly still gods around, if the one in front of me wasn't neither Alaya or Gaia.

Wait, didn't his new birth mother say that he was son of Hephaestus?

"What does the name of my birth father mean? Is it a simple coincidence?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even and not freak out too much.

"No, your father truly is Hephaestus, god of smiting, a good kid if I remember well-" answered the deity, who continued to talk while I thought over this revelation.


So now I had to use my Magecraft to make sure to remain as hidden as possible from the gods, to make sure to not become their toy, while already being a likely candidate for that position?

I had seen the stories of the Heroes of old from the twilight of the Age of Gods, it wasn't pretty.

"-But you will have to pay attention to monsters, I don't want to use my power to bring you back to life every time" the voice was continuing, not noticing the bomb she just dropped

"What?! What do you mean bring me back to life?!" I shouted, my swords vibrating again at my anger and some more appearing around me.

"Due to my first declare you would have to walk upon Earth as 'punishment' to make sure the Fates didn't hunt you along with the Furies, and even though with my second correction you will have the decision to end your life, you still must reach that age before the final breath" explained the voice, trying to calm me down.

After a few moments of silence on my part she continued:"If I didn't put something you hate it wouldn't have been enough as a 'punishment', and I didn't know how much you wanted to cut your life. I apologise again for my hastiness".

A deity which apologised to a mortal two times?

What in the Root?

"I apologise as well for my unjust anger towards you" I said, any emotion now absent from my words while I recalled the weapons in my world again.

Then, after a few moments of silence, I asked a question which was at the foremost of my mind with a calm tone:"Why did you revive me?"

"…" The deity was silent for a moment, then it came with an equally calm tone:"I wouldn't have forgiven myself for an Hero such as you, who has given his all for the salvation of Humanity, to be sentenced to the Tartarus for the misgivings of life caused by another deity. That was one reason. The other reason is that I can feel that horrible changings are coming in our way, and I fear that this world, and those upon it, will end. I don't know if the Olympians will be enough to counter the storm, and with your appearance in my dominion I thought that this way would sate both yours and my desires. So these are my reasons, but if you don't want to help the people here I will not hold it on you, and what I promised to you will be done, even if I humbly ask you to help my kin in this world, o old Hero" the end was said in what was painfully similar to someone who begged for help.

But at that moment, despite the seriousness of the situation, I wanted to laugh.

I, who had given my life, my passion, my very soul for Salvation and Justice, to be an Hero, should walk again on that path?

I, who has destroyed myself to get rid of my ideals, should desire those again?

I, who has ripped even those who were innocent for that objective, and who only wanted the liberation of death, should be an Hero again?

Madness! Hilarious madness!

*My ideals are not wrong!*

But the laugh didn't come, and only lucid thinking remained, and that lucid thinking brought these words, said with seriousness:"From what you said, and from what I know, if you didn't help me now my ultimate desire would be forever out of my reach, for that I thank you. And I will help your… kin, which I think are the gods, against this 'changing' with my expertise. But when the time I can finally die comes, I will take it in every case, goddess".

That was it. With this action I would kill two birds with one stone: I would be able to repay my debt that I knew was there, and I would shut up that part of me which still believed in those blasted ideals.

"Understood! Thank you!" said the deity in a grateful tone, the darkness around him wiggling pleased.

How much had his life been strange that now he considered that normal?

Then the ground shook, and he could see the darkness around starting to vanish:

"It seems that our time is up, old soul. Have a nice meal!" he was sure that she was amused, but what she said made his blood freeze.

What did she mean with have a nice meal!?

"*Yawn*You really had to wake me up at three a.m., didn't you?"


Nine years later

These were nine long years.

To be unable to eat without any control was disturbing.

To be unable to control you bladder was humiliating.

To be unable to ask help without shouting unconsciously was beyond ridiculous.

But during the first year of life, I finally didn't have to see Misato's breast while she gave me nourishment, and three months after I had enough control on my tongue and lips to say my first word.

Which was 'mama'.

Seeing that old man and woman take that camera at the excited call of Misato was somewhat strange for me, so when they asked to repeat that word I only stared at them dumbed.

After a few seconds I felt a bit sorry when they were so much dejected at my lack of response, so I said two other words:

'Jiji' and 'Baba'.

It was somewhat weird to look at the three adults jump up and down, hugging each other and laughing like they were the children, for some reason that I couldn't understand.

But my proudest achievement was when he could finally go alone to the bathroom.

Thanks, thanks, too kind.

Not like there weren't any troubles, like that time when that little lamia tried to eat me.

It was pretty difficult to hide the sword marks on the floor.

And in that occasion I was able to use his new Magic Circuits.

Yes, use them, not activate them.

It seemed like the goddess I was in constricted living relationship with, and who was now extremely amused by this summary, was more helpful than I thought.

Which wasn't saying much.


Let me continue and don't disturb.

She had helped activate my Circuits without the use of my Magecraft abilities.

Which were still lacking.

Even with the number of Circuits going up to thirty two, while his Prana units usable became eleven Rin and half, he was still useless in normal Magecraft.

How splendid.

Oh, and his Magecraft, the one innumerable Shirous had worked on for a cumulative of thousands of years?

Completely useless.

Well, not completely: the runes were useful, and some of the Emiyas had interesting ideas with the Projections.

But those abilities which were the basis of his own abilities?

He had the arias, he had the steps to work on, he had the experience.

But now the conditions had changed.

Now he was immensely more powerful, in magi terms, while the Gaia didn't do any interference with the Mysteries.

If the Mystery was the bread, the Prana was the yeast and Gaia the salt.

Put too much salt, or there is too much resistance from Gaia, and the yeast dies and the bread, or the Mystery, doesn't grow.

Put too much yeast, or there is not enough salt, and the bread blows.

You don't take any prize if you guess what happens with a Prana made sword.

So now I had to train my control, something I never have had to do thanks, or due, to my low quality Circuits, along with stuffing the repair shop with runes just after the lamia's attack, to make sure that another accident like that never happened again.

Strangely it was pretty easy to relearn those skill, now he was at a threshold in which he was at twenty.

'You are a son of the god of smiths. You create swords. Would it really be strange?'

Another thing that I had noticed was the Smell.

I called it 'Smell', but the bubbly deity who could only talk with me said it was the 'Scent'.

'HEY! Stop dissing the goddess!'

And from what I could understand was like a Magi sense for the Magecraft, only that in this world it was for all the things bounded to the Greek gods.

By the Root how strange it was to say it.

At least I was able to craft a pendant so I wouldn't have to be a mystical bacon.

It was strangely easy to do that pendant, in fact.

'Oi, did you hear what I said before?'asked the annoying goddess.

'Yes, I hear you, frustrating goddess'.

'Then you should know that your teacher is calling you' she said with a deadpan tone.

I snapped out of my musings and indeed I heard the young woman in front of us children urging me with a fake smile and a much too sweet tone:

"Come on, Shirou, we have to do the Pledge Allegiance, and we can't start without you!"

I sighed and, standing up, prepared to do the stupid pray of the morning

"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands"

So I swear myself to a piece of cloth and then to an entire nation, when I should be a child, who doesn't understand even the meaning of Republic.

"one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all"

I would like to remember that for the first amendment there was liberty of cult, and making say to a Magus, who knows how much of douchebags the gods are, that a nation is under God doesn't make a compelling argument to serve it.

Aaaand now it ended, thanks the Root.

Wait, so now it's lesson time.


'So, how do we pass time while the thousandth time I attend this lessons goes on?' I asked to the voice, trying to find something against boredom.

'Sorry, but this annoying goddess is too much annoying to know a way to pass the time' was the response from the aggravated goddess, and I could picture a twin tailed woman 'humphing' at me.


Oh well, I could always read the weapons inside the Works, it would be useful to find more effects with a longer look, along with more knowledge about monsters, while this blessed Mist made sure that no-one knew about it.

Let's start with Euryteus's bow…

Only another seven years to go.

…So the spear of Bellerophon can suffocate someone if it goes exactly in the throat? Strong for an D rank Noble phantasm, but too long to be used as an arrow. Maybe with Alteration…

No, it would take too much time to change it in any flyable way, and in that time I could use tens of Hrunting. Or even two Caladbologs.

Wasn't there a sword used to kill the Phoenix? Where was it…


Oh, it finally ended.

Probably I should have been an actor, if no-one was able to see my absent-mindedness during the lessons.

Or more probably the teacher here at Yancy didn't care less about what the children did.

It was a school for rich kids, after all.

Rich, troubled kids, but rich kids. In which I got thanks to my memories.

Long story. In summary, I wanted a school near the house so there was a minor chance of monsters' attacks and I got it in this year.

So, here I am, putting the last books in the bag. It wasn't how I thought my death would come.

I rose my eyes at the sound of steps and I glanced at three children, who were glaring at me with what those three would call a 'scary look', and the head honcho said with an high pitch 'threatening' tone:

"Snowflake, you know that you owe us something".

For me it was adorable, while I finished to put the book in the bag.

Like a kitten trying to meowing a lion into submission.

But, well…

I couldn't care less about it, nor could I care less about their age.

They wanted to make this kind of bed? Now they would have lie on it.

'Isn't this kind of reaction a bit overkill? It would bring only unwanted reaction, ya know' said the deity suddenly, concerned for some reason by the situation.

I sighed, and instead of teaching them a lesson on how to behave, I only stared at them with my steel grey eyes, my usual apathy being tinged with more than a bit of irritation.

A few moments and I could hear them gulp and their head honcho stammered with a bit of fear in his eyes:

"We- we will talk again, freak!" and then run away from the class, and in that moment I noticed that I was the last one in it.

I only shrugged and, putting the bag on my back, I walked out of the school, walking in the now emptied hallways and hearing the excited chattering of children outside.

The few students who were still in the school looked at me strangely, a few with curiosity and some with something akin with scorn.

Then the girls of the seventh and eighth grades had their flip phones out to take picture of me.


'Your skin is one of a middle eastern man, your features are of a Japanese and then you have white hair and grey eyes. You are not physically normal for them, and curiosity is a by-product of abnormality in children. At least they are not like those other kids'explained the deity with a calming voice, like she did some other times before.

I only walked faster to get out of there as soon as possible.

Only another seven years.

'Hey, old soul, can you cook again?'asked the goddess out of the blue, while I was walking down the road towards my home.

'I don't think that Narumi will let me cook something. After that one time she won't let me make anything, even if it was passable and I didn't burn down the kitchen' I explained, shaking my head slightly with a smirk appearing on my lips, while waiting for the light to turn green in one of the innumerable streets of New York.

'If with 'passable' you mean 'Artemis would offer her virginity to eat it', than yes, your food is passable' grumbled the goddess good-naturedly, exaggerating my skills.

I knew that my cooking was good, even more than it was before even due to the now complete memories of the Emiyas, but I don't think it was that good.

*trrrr* *trrr* *trrr*

The sirens for the blind went out, and I started crossing the street-

'What in the name of the Root is this smell!?'-only to almost throw up when a stench of burned human corpses mixed with salt came suddenly out from an alley somewhere behind me.

'Monster' came the now completely serious voice of the deity, who then continued: 'Fairly strong one too. Even with your abilities, it would be better to disengage, to not create attention on us'

I nodded and started to Reinforce my body with Prana to run as fast as possible to my Workshop and my senses to know if it was behind me, but then those same sense made me hear something which made me freeze.

A whimper, so low and fearful that I wouldn't have heard it normally, from where the monster was.

'There is someone there! Hero!' shouted the goddess inside my head, but I remained still as a statue.

My arrows put down everyone, from children to elders, everyone linked with the threat against humanity.

*My Ideals are not wrong!*

My swords cut down all, from monsters in human skin to saints, to make sure that humanity would go on.

*If we don't do anything, then innocents will die!*

Alone, standing on an hill of swords!

*Better be alone than do nothing!*

'Old soul!'the frantic deity's voice made me snap out from the trauma and take a decision;

I turned in the direction of the monster and run towards it, the onlookers being thrown on the ground by my charge and insulting me, but I didn't care.

Judging the concept of creation.

One hundred meters.

Hypothesizing the basic structure.

Fifty meters.

Duplicating the composition material.

Thirty meters.

Imitating the skill of its making.

Fifteen meters.

Sympathizing with the experience of its growth.

Only one last turn.

Reproducing the accumulated years.

"Oh? Another god spawn has come to me? Thanks Gaia for-" said the figure with a booming voice, three meters and half tall, but I didn't care in what it had to say.

Excelling every manufacturing process.

"Trace on"

Kanshou and Bakuya

My charge continued, the direction between its legs and, avoiding its enormous hand with no problem, I hit.

The hulking figure let out a monstrous scream when its two legs now had two cuts so deep that the bones themselves were now halved, and only for the resistance of the tendons it remained standing, while a lot of golden dust came out of the wounds.

But my objective wasn't to make it fall, but being able to protect the young girl with long black hair behind it.

Now my back towards the girl and myself facing the figure, which was still moaning in pain.

I only raised my right hand, which was still grabbing Bakuya, and my Circuits warmed slightly more.

From my World I took out the Noble Phantasm which could injure monsters, and their countless Projections started to appear in the air, pointing the Monster from above

Trace on

"Who are you, Demigod!?" shouted with monstrous voice the figure, its lone eye trying to focus on me while his body still wasn't able to stay upright.

Maybe it was me but I could hear fear as well.

Trigger off

"I'm Nameless"

The swords descended to it, just after I said those words filled with apathy, and only golden dust remained.

With a sigh I recalled my weapons, then I turned towards the terrorized girl, who was looking at me with wide green eyes and, despite no injuries coming into sight with Structural Analysis other than some light bruises, her breath came out extremely fast, while her hands were gripping the front of her hoodie like she was in pa-

Oh, she was hyperventilating.

How delightful.

Oh well, I needed to make her forget what just happened as well, I could kill two birds with one stone.

I pumped Prana into my eyes, and, looking directly into hers, I started talking, preparing the ground to hypnotize her:

"You are calm, look into my eyes. You are serene, look into my eyes. You are secure, look into my eyes"

Her breaths became more regular, while her eyes started to became nebulous during my chanting:

"It was only a bad dream, look into my eyes. It didn't happen, look into my eyes"

Her breathing was now normal, and her complete attention was completely on me, while I started the true hypnotism:

"You will now forget everything which happened now, look into my eyes. When I snap my fingers, you will forget everything which happened and go to your home".

The girl nodded slowly, her eyes unfocused, and I moved my right hand next to her hear.


She got up immediately and mechanically she walked out of the hallway, getting out of sight.

I sighed again when my eyes got on the sword marks.

Alteration for the win it seemed.

At least I would not be found out.

"FOUND YOU!" shouted the black haired girl the day after, pointing at me with an accusing finger and an equally accusing glare.

'You really shoot yourself in the foot, didn't you?'said the oddly satisfied voice.

My only thought was





*Doesn't dodge tissues* Thanks, I have a cold!

Now, on the story:

It is, like you have just seen, a What If.

I'm not going to make a complete crossover (the two universes mashed in one), but EMIYA will be the protagonist.

It's going to be a long but simple story, similar enough to the books, unlike the Unleashed Awakens will be.

I will try to make EMIYA's situation as I have seen him (a suicidal depressed), but my (dis)ability in writing will not always be able to paint this matter as it should.

When I make jabs at some American tradition, don't take them at heart: I'm an Italian from Italy, and, like the protagonist, my culture is profoundly different from yours.

But every correction you have is happily accepted: from writing tips to lore to culture I will try to follow your tips.

Remember to look at the Poll in my profile.

How was the chapter?

Good? Bad? Review, Follow and Flame!

And read the other teaser chapter, the Unleashed Awakens, along with the other stories!