"'When is Margaret due back from her Honeymoon?'" Hawkeye asks his superior as he assesses wounded three days after Margaret leaves.

"'Two days'," The Colonel answers just before Hawkeye shouts orders to the nurses and staff.

"'I wish I was with her'," Hawkeye announces anxiously regarding the amount of wounded around him and the lack of Margaret beside him. Pretending not to be her husband is getting worse by the day.

"'She's with her husband'," The colonel replies. Teasing, Hawkeye answers, "I wouldn't peek."

Thankfully, unbeknownst to the entire camp, Margaret comes back in the middle of surgery. Seeing her come into the OR, B.J. exclaims, "'Look who's here.'"

"'Uh- oh, Lulu's back in town'," Hawkeye teases with a song he sang to her when they dated after he found out her middle name was Louanne. Margaret smirks from behind her mask before telling Baker she will take over.

"'Mrs. Penobscott, it's a pleasure to have your finger in my work again. How come you're back here so early?'" Her husband asks keeping himself from saying Mrs. Pierce. With dismay he realizes he only says it once or twice their whole marriage. As they continue to tease her, Margaret is thankful when the surgery is over. Penobscott is a cover for her real marriage, so at least she can wear her ridiculously cheap wedding ring, but the fact that Donald leaves her two days after they get to Tokyo angers her. He was supposed to show her around and be her Japanese tour guide. For two days he takes her to different sights and she takes pictures to show to Hawkeye and send to family. Then, she talks with General Weiskopf and Donald leaves for a pretty brunette in the corner of the club. Disgusted by Lyle's offer to sleep with her about an hour later, Margaret finds her first flight back to Korea. Deciding to take a walk to clear her head, Margaret leaves her tent and finds out that Frank is not coming back. Seeing Colonel Potter, Margaret finds out that Hawkeye and B.J. are packing her former friend's trunk. Knocking on The Swamp door, she hears one of them call out in terrible French, "'Entrez- vouz!'"

Entering the tent, Margaret explains, "'Colonel Potter said you were packing Frank's things. There's something of mine I'd like back.'"

"'I don't think that's possible'," B.J. teases as Hawkeye jokes, "'Margaret, please. We packed so carefully.'"

"'I bet'," She scoffs as she hears them ask what she is looking for.

"'The torn shorts are right on top'," Hawkeye tells her as he remembers one of their dates in Maine. Remembering the same date, Margaret answers, "'I'll slap you.'"

"'Bully'," Hawkeye answers as his wife finds a snapshot tucked inside one of Frank's shirts. She gasps when B.J. catches a glimpse.

"'This is none of your business'!" Margaret exclaims putting the picture closer to her chest. Curious, Hawkeye asks, "'What is it?'"

"'A picture of Margaret in a bikini'," B.J. answers for her. Quickly, Hawkeye asks if he can see it. When she refuses, he asks, "'Give you a nickel'."


"'Show you where the horse bit me'," Hawkeye announces. Again, she refuses. Upset Hawkeye answers, "'Oh, come on. How does she look?'"

"'Beautiful'," B.J. tells him. "'A goddess.'"

"'Really?'" Margaret asks taking a peek at her photo just as her husband exclaims, "'Oh! Yum! Yum! Yum!'"

"'You're spitting on it'," His wife complains.

"'I'm gonna faint'," Hawkeye dramatizes. "'Margaret, put it back. It'll keep him crazy.'"

"'Why torture him? Frank wasn't all that bad'," Margaret states.

"'Compared to what?'" B.J. asks.

"'Well, he's no Donald Penobscott'," Hawkeye remarks. Upset, Margaret replies, "'In some ways, Donald is no Frank Burns.'"

She turns to leave when the two surgeons stop her and ask if she wants to elaborate. When she refuses and heads toward the door, B.J. remarks, "'Might make you feel better.'"

Unsure of their actions, Margaret asks, "'Why should I trust you two?'"

"'Because we're all you've got'," Hawkeye answers as B.J. follows up, "'Because we care.'"

A slight pause ensues until B.J. offers her a drink. As the blond doctor walks toward the still, the brunet leads his wife to the chair and his bed..

"'Come on. Sit down. You don't have to tell us if you don't want to. But sit down. You look upset'," He tells her as Margaret sits in the chair. "'Have a drink.'"

"'What'll it be,'" B.J. asks, "'gin or gin?'"

Watching his friend take a sip, B.J. asks how the gin is. Margaret gasps and then chuckles before coughing out, "'Terrible. Thank you.'"

"'Something went wrong, didn't it, Margaret?'" Hawkeye asks knowing what the plan before she leaves for her pretend honeymoon. Looking closely at her husband, Margaret asks, "'Your word of honor?'"


Nodding to B.J., Margaret asks, "'What about him?'"

"'Him too'," B.J. confides. Sighing, Margaret begins.

"'Well the first two days were perfect. Then after that, it was like being on a honeymoon with my old auntie.'"

"'What happened between the second and third day?'" B.J. asks.

"'Nothing. We were having a wonderful time tennis, shopping. A lovely party that evening at General Weiskopf's.'"

She pauses a moment before continuing, "'Lyle was a charming host.'"


"'General Weiskopf. He's an old friend. We stayed up and talked and laughed until 3:00 in the morning'," Margaret explains before her husband asks, "'Was the groom in the room?'"

"'Sure'," She states. "'He was right there listening.'''

"'What happened after the party?'" B.J. asks as Margaret answers, "'Nothing.'"

"'As in "nothing"?'" Hawkeye asks secretly making sure that Penobscott was not trying to proposition his wife.

"'He stopped talking. He stopped smiling. He stopped everything'," She admits.

"'As in "everything"? Well, Margaret, don't you think that's it?'" B.J. questions. Confused, Margaret asks, "'What?'"

"'That's probably it. Donald was competing with your whole past'," Hawkeye explains as B.J. adds, "'Some guys can't take that pressure.'"

"'The male libido can be a very fragile thing'," Hawkeye remarks.

Realizing she may break her real husband's ego, but knowing she needs to keep the facade, the woman complains, "'Oh, poor Donald.''

"'Oh, he'll get over it'," B.J. replies adding, "'It happens all the time.'"

"'Frank never had that problem'," Margaret remarks. Shrugging, B.J. states, "'Frank didn't need it. He had every other one.'"

"'Oh, I know. I know'," The head nurse states as she stands up and walks back to the open foot locker, "'Frank Burns was a little too "by the book" for you guys, but I personally have some very fond memories of our friendship.'"

She takes a last look at Frank's belongings before exclaiming, "'That dirty rat! My alarm clock. He said the bellboy took it. That fink!'"

"'Margaret, remember the fond memories'," B.J. says. Angry, Margaret yells before leaving the tent, "'Oh, I'll give him a fond memory.'"

Left by themselves, Hawkeye holds his glass up before looking at his bunk mate. With small raise of both their glasses, Hawkeye salutes, "'Bottoms up, Frank.'"

Any time left to relax in the knowledge that Frank is gone, B.J. and Hawkeye are a little dismayed to find their bunk mate replacement is an arrogant stick in the mud. However, what Hawkeye does not expect is actually having seen the man before. Cornering his wife before a surgery, Hawkeye tells her, "You remember when we first met?"


"And I said that I was escaping a lecture?"

Thinking back to that day, Margaret answers after a moment, "Yes."

"Well that lecturer is none other than Charles Emerson Winchester the Third," Hawkeye remarks drawing out the man's name in a fake Bostonian accent. Laughing, Margaret reveals their hiding spot which is found by none other than the surgeon being spoken about.

"If you please, we have a surgery to attend to."

Sobering, Margaret nods. Glancing back at her husband with a humorous look in her eyes, the nurse wishes him luck adding, "And to think he's the one who brought us together."