This chapter is dedicated to my dad who just passed away.
"I love you dad I can't wait to see you again when the time comes."
"Oh God" Speech
'Kazuma' thought/ foreign language
I do not own Ranma 1/2
"Fake, I know it's unexpecting."
"Yup made quite a pretty penny."
"Less then you think it's actually a bunch of magical chickens that lay colored eggs."
"Just some crazy magic broad running around steal teeth and leaving money she's not hurting anyone and doing a service so no one bothers her."
"Hmm I guess I should try to be a better person."
"A little but but being naughty is actually a lot harder then you think just don't kill anyone, sleep with someones spouse, or burn down someones house that sort of thing."
This was the conversation Ranma found himself in when he stormed into the Neko that afternoon to demand a rematch. Instead he sees Nabiki spending a better part of her afternoon asking Kazuma about the existance of mythical creatures.
"Okay how about..
"STOP IT!" Ranma shouted having enough of this he want a rematch and he wanted it now. "I don't care about what's real or not!" Grabbing Kazuma's collar pulling him forward. "I want a rematch."
Giving Ranma a flat look Kazuma poked Ranma's forehead with his finger gingerly pushing him back. "Ranma look at me I know considering your life you've probably never heard this before so I'll say it to you slowly."
Kazuma said nothing for a moment letting the tension shroud the Neko in anticipation.
"I...Don't...Care." saying each word slowly and carefully. Once he said his piece his face noticeably brightened up. "Beside I'm busy for a while since I'm on probation I finally have time to give my reports on my longterm mission."
This drew the attention of Nabiki who leaned in closer. "Now that's the million yen question. What is your mission, why come to Nerima?"
Not seeing any harm in it Kazuma sat up straight. "Nothing really just to monitor the paranormal anomalies that surround the citizens of this denizens. And how said anomalies effect the surrounding environment." he explained getting a nod in understanding from Nabiki but one of confusion from Ranma.
Deciding to dumb it down. "Looking at all the magic stuff in this city and if it affects any other cities."
"Got anything on me?" Nabiki smirked.
"A few paragraphs are on you Tendo. With the added note (Don't let your guard down.)"
"What about me?" Ranma asked actually curious about what was written about him.
Shrugging his shoulders Kazuma got to his feet lightly stretching. "About a page and ahalf you solve problems, your a talented martial artist and your curse is just a mixing pot of entropy."
Ranma stratched his head in confusion. "Entropy?"
"Look it up!" a voice shouted in the background followed by a dictionary landing on his table with a heavy thud.
Using this distraction Kazuma sent a look to Cologne as he slipped out the door. "Be back in an hour, see you later Nabs."
Nabiki sent him a look as she followed. "What did I tell you about calling me Nabs."
With the two gone the room grew quite as Ranma surprisingly picked up the dictionary leafing through the words.
Skimming the dictionary Ranma's eyes widened at the explaination written.
"That describes you to the letter sonny boy." Cologne said the matriarch looking over his shoulder. "I'm guessing since your even more insistant on a rematch then usual it must mean you've improved on your use of pure chi."
The smirk on Ranma's face all but confirmed this suspicion. "You could say that."
"Where's he off to now?" Ranma asked before an annoyed look appeared on him as he all but pouted. "Probably to learn a new technique you taught him huh."
Chuckling at the pettiness of the Saotome heir Cologne gave Ranma a flat look. "Not today, todays the day of his drivers test, I presonally am excited he can move that motorcycle out of the backyard it's taking up space."
"Like that matters, the only reason he beat me is because of that chi and that stupid punch you taught him." Ranma growled aggressively.
Shaking he head in annoyance Cologne decided to let the cat out of the bag. "Sonny Boy I'm going to be very clear with you. Since he's been here I've only taught him the Splitting Cat Hairs Technique." she said noting the shocked look on the Heir's face. "I know it's surprising he only seemed interested in improving his weaknesses, you know cover his blindspots."
"So your saying?"
"Yup unlike with you, I barely trained Kazuma just one move and not even a combat oriented one at that."
The room grew silent, with the tension in the air so thick one could cut it with a knife. Cologne and the patron patiently waited for the Saotome Heir to truly process the information, each one restless when he had yet to respond.
He did eventually respond, though it was...not the response they expected (especially considering this was Ranma).
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ranma howled into the resturant before making a mad dash out the resturant jumping to rooftops still screaming at the top of his lungs.
"Ahh to be young." Cologne smile ignoring the alarmed look on onlookers face.
"Okay Mister Hishigaki." a middle aged man in a button up tie and slacks asked as he held a clip board.
Hearing his name called Kazuma appears his motorcycle right beside him walking up to the instructor who was busy looking behind him.
Following his gaze Kazuma sees none other then Azusa as always with Chiot by her side holding the same sign she had the day he fought Ranma.
"She's." Kazuma said as he eyed Azusa who insistanted on jumping around while in her leotard doing amazing things to her small but tantalizing B-Cup breasts. "enthusiastic." tearing his eyes away to find the right word to describe the skater.
"Right." he responded smacking his lips before turning around. "This way please."
Seconds later the two were out on the track. "All you need to do is go through the obstacle course." The instructor said from the back of the bike.
"You got it!" Kazuma hyped himself up as he started weaving through the course, stopping, turning, reversing, even parallel parking just about everything required to pass.
That is until an explosion ripped thru the road forcing Kazuma to swerve around the debri before coming to a stop safely away jumping off the bike to inspect the damage.
"Where am I now?" a familiar voice asked the smoke covering his form.
"Huh?" Ryoga hearing his name called looked through the smoke before a hand reached through the smoke grabbing him by the collar pulling him out and into the furious face of Kazuma.
"Seriously again!" Kazuma growled out as he rushed out of the smoke. "Hibiki again! For real man get a map, buy a compass this should not happen more then once!"
"Kazuma! What are you doing in Kyushu?" scratching his head in confusion.
Grabbing Ryoga's collar with his other arm Kazuma begins shaking him around angrily. "Your in Nerima you dummy!" After the shake down Kazuma pushed him away as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"I am so failing this test." he groaned in despair.
That despair quickly turned to anger as a large tick mark appeared over his temple, as his teeth grinded down like an angry bloodhound with a cartoonish looking glower over his face. "Everytime I want to do something again I'm stopped by one of you Nerima fuckers."
Closing his eyes. "Not in anger. Not in anger. Not in anger." Kazuma chanted in his mind as he took a few deep breaths.
A moment later Kazuma's eyes opened staring at the martial arts vagabond. "Why."
As Ryoga began to explain he shrunk down as a map of the world landed behind him. "Well I was training in Russia but when I was going to this diner around the corner I wound up in India when I turned around I felt really cold and tried to fish only for a polar bear to attack for it. After that I was in a jungle and when I was eating some fruit I ended up feeling really hot."
"Okay I get it." Kazuma cutting him off with a wave of his hand.
Sighing in defeat Kazuma turned to the driving instructor. "I have to get back to work. So can I reschedule a mak...?"
He didn't get a chance to finish a sheet of paper was shoved in his face. Behind the paper the instructor had a look horror hair and cloths disheveled as sweat poured down his face. "Here just take it, leave and never comeback." he said on the verge of crying.
Kazuma grabbed the paper with a blank look on his face.
"Yahoo!" a voice shouted as the doors of the Neko burst open revealing a grinning Kazuma with an equally happy Azusa riding on his back. "Hey Cologne whose a martial artist, two thumbs and now has a drivers license. Kuzuma Hishigaki!" he shouted as he thumbed to himself.
Cologne had seen many things in her life as the leader of the Amazons dragons, monsters, same sex marriages (not as uncommon in the village). But nothing compared to the sight of her newest employee grinning a mile a minute. "I can see your in a good mood, never seen you this happy."
"Never had a reason to until now! Hey Shamps get down here!" Kazuma said head thrown back with a laugh as the sound of feet hitting stairs echoed.
Just as Kazuma lowered his head he could nothing as a fist hit him in the face knocking him into a wall scattering the patrons. Before he could even think to move the fists fly hitting Kazuma all over. This lasted only a minute before the figure rose.
Finally regaining sight Kazuma looked into the enraged face of Shampoo if looks could kill Kazuma would have died a million times over with the look the Amazon glared at him.
"No tell Shampoo what do!"
Turning her back to him she grabs a to-go box from the counter. "No look at Shampoo's butt! Pervert!" she growled over her shoulder as she left the resturant.
"What was that about?" Kazuma groaned out looking to the materiach noticing in the span of the first punch she had somehow grabbed Azusa placing her in a chair.
Cologne eyed her student with a knowing smile. "Whose to say."
Her smile only grew at the flat look Kazuma gave her.
"Okay fine did you happen to notice that green broach hanging the front of my granddaughters blouse?" getting a nod in response Cologne continued.
"It is called the Reversal Jewel it has the ability to control the emotions of the wearer." Cologne explained only for her eye to twitch as Kazuma twirled his finger around.
"When it is worn it amplifies the user's feelings." Cologne explained neglecting to mention how it's worn or how it actually works.
Hearing this Kazuma's head dropped in embarrassement. "I guess I shouldn't have said that stuff during Ranma's fight. I must have really pissed her off." a blush slowly forming on his face. "I should go apologize."
When those words reached there ears everyone in the resturant froze at this. This is because of an unspoken rule in Nerima (Never apologize, if you make a mistake ignore it or blame somebody else.).(1)
"Really!?" a voice asked in the background.
Looking over his shoulder. "Yeah I messed up even if I fix this at least apologizing at least shows her I feel bad." he said to the crowd before thumbing to Azusa. "At least I know this ones happy." Azusa merely beamed at him as she slid her hand up and down her rump.
"I don't know if she teasing me and that scares me." he eyed the skater who waved as him with the other.
"I'll find her when my shifts over."
"When I finally found her to apologize she got real stiff as if this has never happened to her and she was trying to process it. I thought she was fell better...Bbbbut then she lunged at me, I think my current state shows how that turned out." Kazuma said gesturing to himself displaying the tears on his cloths, cuts, and bruises on him.
Upon hearing this Nabiki hunched over laughing holding her stomach much to Kazuma's annoyance. "Hey sis Shampoo's now the top martial artist in town!" Nabiki shouted with a laugh before a small box was shoved into her hands.
"Ooooooohhhhh!" Nabiki moaned as she opened the box revealing a piece of red velvet cake. "Why don't you come in." you could practically see the drool rolling down her chin.
Once inside Kazuma catch sight of Ranma in his cursed form on the porch being patched up by Kasumi as Akane watched on when the two's eyes met they turned their heads away covering the blush dusting their cheecks.
Quickly clearing his throat removing his blush. "So I see Shampoo got to you to."
"What was your first clue." Ranma spat venomously.
Nabiki seeing this just couldn't help rubbing it in. "Oh he's just mad that Shampoo finally got sick of him and dropped him like a bad habit."
Pride wounded jumping to his currently her feet the Saotome heir pointed at the Middle Tendo with an angry glare. "She didn't dump me! She's just, just going through something it'll blow over I just need to find her."
"Ha! I'll believe it when I see it." she continued as she took a bite of her cake moaning in delight at the taste. "If it was me I would have dropped you years ago."
"Well it's not you Nabiki!" the heir shouted before rubbing her in thought. "I just got to work her over with the Saotome charm and she be putty in my hand." Ranma thought smugly with a look everyone in room could see through.
"Phst I don't see what the big deal is you should be happy that bimbo is finally leaving you alone." Akane argued not seeing a problem with news way she saw it Shampoo was no longer interested in Ranma.
"You don't get it Akane somethings going on with Shampoo and I want answers." Ranma declared just as Akane was upon him. "There's no way she can just get over me?!"
"Well let me help get you there faster!" she shouted as she sent him sky high with an uppercut.
"If he didn't stop it its his own fault."
"Saw that coming." a bored Nabiki said before returning to her cake.
"Ranma why you no leave Shampoo alone?" the glaring amazon asked as aquatransexual had her corner on a random rooftop.
"Not until you tell me what's wrong. What's with the cold shoulder Shampoo?"
Seeing she was trapped she gestured him forward which he did just as Ranma was a inches away.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" she shouted as loudly as she could in his ear. Momentarily distracted Ranma could do nothing as Shampoo knocked him to the ground before stomping him into the ground. "Shampoo say one more time. LEAVE SHAMPOO ALONE!" she shouted the last part as she sent him flying with an uppercut.
Shampoo glared at the sky where her fiance flew as she turned around she saw none other then Kazuma standing a few feet away.
"Uh Hi nice shot you've gotten much stronger since we first fought." Kazuma said awkwardly with a small wave.
Just as the amazon got ready for another assualt Kazuma raised his hands in surrender. "Woah woah woah I'm not here to fight, I ah I just wanted to say sorry." he said freezing the amazon in place as she placed her hands on her shapely hips.
Seeing her stop Kazuma took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for the stuff I said about you when Ranma fought Kuno. I mean sure I ment every word but I can see how that would be inappropriate to say especially to a friend." he finished scratching the back his head.
Shampoo remained frozen in place merely staring at Kazuma who looked back unsure how to react to this situation.
After what seemed like hours Shampoo finally moved slowly walking to the adventurer now within range she reached out pulling him into a hug.
Taken off guard by this Kazuma didn't even move. "Shampoo think Shampoo..." Kazuma couldn't move as Shampoo leaned back smashing his skull against the roof. "...might hate Kazuma." she whispered the last part before jumping away.
"Go to Nerima Kazuma you'll actually meet strong martial artist your own age, maybe finally meet a cute girl who actually wants to deal with your ass. Yeah Thanks a lot master." Kazuma thought to himself as he finally regained conciseness despite having his eyes closed he could feel the lack of sun light and the crisp night air signifying he'd been out for a good while.
"Okay let's review I got my motorcycle license cool, Shampoo beat me into the ground, found out about this reversel jewel thing, actually apologized to Shampoo and got slammed head first into the ground for it." Kazuma thought to himself as he laid on the ground.
Slowly sitting up he opened his eyes the first thing being a red figuring soaring through the sky. "Does he not learn anything." he gloomly thought knowing once this was over he would get hounded again.
Rather then getting up Kazuma lays back down looking at the night sky. "Maybe I'm no better." he said between the rematch and the amazon.
"Screw it, I'll figure it out tomorrow." with that Kazuma got up walking home.
"Oh My. Nabiki what's with that look on your face, it's happy but at the same time unsettling?" Kasumi asked her grinning sister practically bouncing in her seat. They had just finished seeing Ranma off as he went to "battle" with Shampoo. It was seconds later that Nabiki ran to make a phone call.
"Oh just happy to have a chat with a dear friend sis."
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Hearing the door Kasumi the ever good care taker she was quickly made her way to the door. Opening the door Kasumi sees her adventurer friend. "Oh hello Kazuma how are you today." the elder said.
Stepping back Kasumi got a decent look at the young Martial Artist who stood slightly taller then Kasumi at 174 cm (5.7) making him almost one inch taller then Ranma. In terms of body types Kazuma was actually consistant having one that refused to sacrifice speed for strength and vice versa making him somewhere between Ryoga and Ranma in mass. He had a rugged yet handsome appearance. His black bangs are split into three clumps around her eyes, and some of his hair sticks up in large tufts at the top of his head with a pair of green eyes. (2)
"Kazuma my close friend and business partner how are you this lovely day." Nabiki said with a level of enthusiasm so unlike her.
Kazuma may not be a master with women but he did know when one was acting weird and the way Nabiki was acting caused him to slowly edge himself backwards. "Fine." he said eyeing her uneasily.
"Oh you." she responded cheerfully as she gestured him closer.
Slowly creeping forward Kazuma eyed the girl worriedly clearing the rest of the distance Nabiki whispered into his ear.
Turning to face her with a flat look. "Are you serious?"
Folding her arms with a raised brow in defiance. "As a heart attack."
Without another word Kazuma turned around walking away even ignoring Kasumi as he left.
"Oh my Nabiki what did you tell him?" Kasumi asked surprised at the reaction.
A smirk covered her younger sisters face. "The truth."
"So ah S-Shampoo." this was the scene Shampoo found herself, when she originally heard that Ranma was coming over to propose she was walking of sunshine that however led to two problems.
One she had to retain a look of indifference until Ranma said the words she longed to hear him say. Second and this was the hardest keeping that look as Ranma continued to stumble over his words trying to sound coherent enough to form a working sentence.
Shampoo continued to look indifferent wondering when Ranma will grow his nerves and say those three words. I LOVE YOU!
"You ah see you I uhh I wanted to uh tell you..."
While Ranma continued to ramble Shampoo's mind began to wander. "I wonder what we'll do once we're married travel, go on dates, have bab
"Girl's got a peach." a stray thought entered her mind as a blush covered her face.
Shaking her head furiously hoping to remove the stray thought.
"No no no focus on Ranma not... not him." she thought solemnly regaining focus she gave the still stammering heir a side eye glance.
"SAOTOME I'M GONNA KICK YOUR TEETH IN!" a voice shouted as Kazuma burst through the doors. If looks could kill Ranma would have died a dozen times over as he stormed up to the heir Kazuma.
"What are doin GAH!" Ranma couldn't finish his question as Kazuma grabbed him by the collar. Pulling him forward bashing his forehead into Ranma's nose sending him to the ground.
"What is the matter with you! How big is your ego that you can't stand the idea of a girl not liking you! I seriously who does that!"
Rather then respond Ranma pulled off a leg sweep and as Kazuma fell a foot kicked him into a wall. Kazuma rolls out of the way as barrage of kicks were thrown at him.
"Stay out of this Kazuma this doesn't involve you!" Ranma shouted throwing a straight just for Kazuma to grab the outstretched arm with his right arm, open palm him on the inside of his shoulder, before throwing him over his shoulder.
"Yeah it's just you being an asshole!"
Righting himself in a roll Ranma kicks a chair and table at Kazuma just to jump on the former riding on it. As Kazuma caught the table Ranma threw the chair forward as he slid under the table. In the span of five seconds Kazuma caught two things the flying chair and a barrage of punches that slammed into his stomach.
Unbeknowest to the struggling Martial Artists a number of guests hid away to surprise Ranma.
"Is this still part of the thing?" One of the students hiding under the table asked Cologne.
"Oh yes child it's a Martial arts thing." Cologne said lying through her teeth. "Just wait a little longer and soon it will all become clear." the Matriarch chuckled at Kazuma striking Ranma across the back with a chair. "Oh his paying for that."
Kazuma grabbed Ranma's arm tossing into a wall before elbowing him in the stomach. "What so it's okay to exploit people's feelings so you can feel better about yourself."
"Hey you should have seen some of the things she put me through!" Ranma countered as he charged at Kazuma only to jump back landing on the wall before blasting himself off ramming fist into his stomach.
"Cause of you!" much to Ranma's surprise when Kazuma took the hit he bows down and gives Ranma a powerful headbutt. "She's here because of you. Two wrongs don't make a right do you even care about anyones feeling but your own."
"Hey I told her she should just forget about those dumb old amazon rules!" Ranma shouted back as he crouches down on his knees, then proceeds to pounce toward Kazuma in a powerful spiral motion, while having both his arms pointed outwards.
No one expected this especially Kazuma as the powerful impact sent him flying across a room.
Getting up Kazuma glared at Ranma. "It's important to her it's her whole life and you expect her to forget all that because it inconveniences you." getting to his feet Kazuma rushed in. "And honor isn't a stupid rule to others?" getting in range he sent a kick to Ranma's head. Just as Ranma ducked Kazuma changed his pivot in mid air and swinging his heel down just missing Ranma's head by just a hair.
"Oh wait! I bet it's important because it involves you." Kazuma accussed actually making Ranma flinch.
But that's what Kazuma was waiting for as the moment his foot landed he jumped forward punching Ranma in the stomach and kicks the back of the knee at the same time he finishes the combo by throwing Ranma.
"That's it!" Ranma shouted as two orbs of yellow chi formed in both his hands.
Seeing this Kazuma extended his right arm open palm with his left hand wrapped around the wrist.
"What's wrong Saotome don't like the truth." While Kazuma talked a grey energy began to form a ball in his hand.
Cologne rolled her eyes at the idiots ready to kill each other though she's happy to hear someone truly caring about her grand daughter. Just as she was ready to jump in to stop the two an unsuspected voice shouted.
"I Love you Ranma! Love you lots!" was shouted outside drawing everyones attention.
Just as the two were about to finish each other something smashed through the building engulfing the interior in a cloud of smoke.
"Cough Cough Cough." Kazuma coughed as he waved the smoke clouding his vision away.
When the smoke cleared Kazuma was shocked at the sight before him.
Laying on the ground was Ranma suit torn covered in grime with much to his surprise Akane with her arms wrapped around his neck with a loving expression on her face as she continued to shower him with praise.
"My Prince no woman can resist you."
"Way to go you two!"
"I always had a feeling you two would get together!"
Thinking this was there cue all the guest burst from under the tables as cheers and confetti rained down upon the two.
Looking around in surprise Ranma and Kazuma eyes wide as dinner plates without looking at each other with a look that screamed: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!
After what felt like minutes Kazuma finally asked Ranma. "Do you know whats going on?"
Shaking his head. "Not even a clue."
Hearing this Kazuma turned back to the crowd. "I'll just play along."
As this was going on Shampoo continued to sit in the same place originally was in processing what had happened. The span of ten minutes Ranma nearly told her he loved, Kazuma showed they broke into a fight basically over her, only for everything to fall apart with again Akane showing up. It's always Akane.
In the confusion of the party goes a very dazed Shampoo rose to her feet before quickly making her way out of the resturant.
Watching her great granddaughter leave Cologne pogoed over to the martial artists. "Ah the affects of the Reversal Jewel truly are wondrous are they not rookie." she said bopping Kazuma on the head.
"Ow!" Kazuma rubbed his head as he glared at the Matriarch. "What are you talking about Cologne, seriously no more jokes I'm tired of the lies and half truths."
This was really the last straw this Reversal Jewel has been nothing but a pain in the ass and he wanted it all to be over with. Now glaring at his boss making it perfectly clear he was no longer amused.
Sighing in defeat Cologne hopped over to Akane who continued to hold onto Ranma while whispering sweet nothing into his ear. Ranma didn't know what had happened to Akane just a day ago she was getting angry at him punching him away and now she was hugging him telling him how great he was. This had Ranma on cloud nine rubbing the back of his grinning sheepishly.
"You see Kazuma the Reversal Jewel has a special ability you see while it amplifies the user's feelings the jewel decided on it being love or hate based on how it is worn." Cologne finally revealed as she removed the brooch from Akanes collar.
"Woah Akane who could have thought you could actually b. AAHH!"
Once released from the spells magic Akane wasted no time punching Ranma out the resturant into the outside wall. Looking up he sees the enraged faces of Ryoga, Mousse and Kuno all having dark auras surrounding them.
Cologne watched in amusement as Kazuma processed the information.
"Wait but Shampoo loves Ranma but she kept attacking him so the jewel was in hate, but she also attacked me so..."
"Hehe it seems you've awoken something in my grand daughter not just as a martial artist but as a woman as well." she chuckled as a blush dusted Kazuma's cheeks.
With out a word Kazuma ran out the resturant ignoring Ranma as he was being beaten by his past rivals.
Seeing a brief flash of purple Kazuma quickly ran in the direction as he rounded a corner finally catching sight of his first friend since coming to Nerima.
Hearing the familiar voice Shampoo ran off jumping to the roof with Kazuma once he got his wits about him following after her.
"Will you wait up I want to talk!"
"Leave Shampoo alone!"
"Screw that I'm not going let you get away and by tomorrow pretend like it never happened." Kazuma said as he jumped over the amazon causing her to run into his chest.
Hitting the ground hard Shampoo looked up at Kazuma. "Sorry." he said reaching his hand out helping the amazon to her feet.
"So uhhh I uhhh." Kazuma mumbled once the adrenaline wore off he really didn't know how to talk about this.
Seeing this was something she had to just get over with Shampoo leaned forward pulling Kazuma into a hug who looked nervous most likely remembering the last time she hugging him. The surprise turned to shock as Shampoo got on her tip toes leaned forward panting kiss on Kazuma's cheek.
Stepping back Shampoo looks into Kazuma's eyes with her own matching blush without another word Shampoo jumped away in the direction home.
Ranma finally learns of Kazuma's true abilities the reason for it will be explained later.
(1) This is true I don't think there is a single scene were anyone actually says they are sorry to anybody.
(2) This is for the benefit of everyone as I don't think I actually describe what Kazuma looks like.