Ranma's Holy Tournament.

AN: just so you know, the cannon MC WILL NOT show up.

AN2: I will NOT be copy and pasting blocks of text from the game. Especially since much of what would be said by the, er, narrator? Would be identical to what was said in the game, and would be like 9/10s the chap. So I will make my own.

Chapter 2: Departure and prologue.

"Well, since you want to know how the issue started, well, let's see..." Ranma started. "You know when I vanished, but it was a warm sunny day..."



Ranma was heading home, it was the last day of his senior year, and he was wanting to celebrate his freedom from school. He knew he had passed, but he also knew that it was by the skin of his teeth and copious extra tutoring from his age bending teacher, Miss Hinako, and being held back a year

He was looking forward to some peace and quiet, as most of his rivals and all of his fiancees were out of town, and there was enough tension to make everyone know that he wasn't interested in Kasumi.

He had been feeling resentful about her for the last year or so, with how she had joined in the 'blame Ranma' bandwagon due to the failed marriage, a marriage that failed because her sister sent invites to everyone she knew.

Unknown to him, Kasumi was being pressured to treat him that way, and she herself was becoming resentful about it.

It also had the side effect of every single rival, fiancee, and random nutjob to step up their game, but not their training.

Shampoo had taken to stalking him and glomping him in front of both the various Fiancees and rivals.

This, of course, set off said rivals, and Akane.

This caused him to become a LEOMA (EN) way too often.

Ryoga had been spying on him using his guise as a pet pig, and Mousse flew around looking for a chance to assassinate him.

Literally, assassinate. The blind boy has taken to launching random bladed attacks then scurrying off when he failed. At least the nearly blind boy was wearing his glasses when he tries it.

He was reaching his breaking point.

And to Cologne's credit, she realized it, and so did Happosai.

That was why most of the group was gone, with Cologne staying nearby to keep an eye on things.

She had already had ordered Mousse to avoid Ranma for now.


Mousse was cackling to himself. He had looked through magical items that the old crone had brought with her and found one guaranteed to do the job.

It would get rid of Ranma once and for all, and luckily the instructions for it was attached via parchment.

The artifact in question was brought by the old woman by mistake, and she didn't feel safe just mailing it back. To be honest she was considering just giving up on Ranma coming home with her great-granddaughter. Her influence at home was crumbling, her great-granddaughter was stagnating, and barely training and their target was close to going on a rampage, with the trio of amazons nearly at ground zero.

The item in question was one that tribal law only would use in case of emergencies. Emergencies that would put the tribe in danger.

It was a wishing item, and the penalties for unauthorized use was severe.

With a smirk, he slipped the ring on his finger and departed.


Cologne had a bad feeling, like something irreversible was going to happen. She looked out the window in time to see the part-time duck in human form jumping out of her window, with a ring on.

"Shit," the woman swore, and after turning off the burners in her restaurant hopped out after the young man.

She arrived in time to see Ranma confronting the blind boy, who miracles of miracles had his glasses on.

She was too late, he was already speaking his wish, "NO!" she cried, trying futilely to interrupt him.

His words made her heart sink, "I Wish that Ranma Saotome would be banished from this world!" and with a flash of light, he was.

The ring shattered, it's power expended, and he was suddenly pinned by Cologne.

"Foolish boy, do you have any idea what you just did? And the punishment for using that artifact?" she demanded.

"Get off! I was just using something you brought to remove the obstacle to my Shampoo!"

"Foolish boy, those artifacts are to be used in tribal emergencies, and that one was accidentally brought along, and the penalty for unauthorized use, is death!"

The duckboy paled at that, and responded, "my grandmother..."

"Won't be able to help you. You also interfered with a husband hunt, but that's the far lesser crime," she snarled before knocking him out and splashing him with water. Taking a cage out of her hidden weapon pocket she tied up the duck before throwing him in and then chaining the cage to prevent him from escaping.

She would be heading back to the village as soon as her great-granddaughter returned, as their entire reason for being there is now gone, most likely never to return.

It would not be a happy return.


Ranma's back hit the ground in a schoolyard, and his eyes widened. He could see that there was something wrong from his position. The sky looked somewhat fake when you look closely at it, and some of the people he could see passing him seemed to be not quite real.

Standing up he noted that his Ki seemed to be blocked. He was still fit, but most of his abilities weren't working.

"Where the hell am I," he asked to himself. He turned to leave the school, but something warned him that doing so was a very bad idea. So he decided to explore the school instead. He then noted a child, too young really to be in a high school, heading away from the mainstream of students, and so he followed, only to find a blank wall when he turned the corner. Frowning Ranma placed his hand on the wall, only for his hand to go through it. He then, not wanting to deal with school again, and his curiosity being spiked, entered the invisible 'door'.

He didn't see the student that he followed, just some sort of a little beyond life-sized crude 'doll' standing near the entrance.

"What the hell?

His voice caused the doll to turn towards him, and he prepared to fight, "Stay back!" he ordered.

The doll, which was about to take a step towards him, stopped and resumed its position.

Ranma frowned, and said, "Turn all the way around."

The doll did so.

Looking at the doll, and at the rectangle of white at the other side of the room, he realized that the doll was probably needed. "Follow me," he ordered, and it did so as he entered the white area. The room was white, and separated into blocks."

Walking along, he encountered an odd monster, it looked like a blue sphere with a white stripe and a large red part.

His 'doll' moved to confront it.

Then a voice sounded, explaining part of the mechanics of fighting with his effigy. Keeping it in mind, he raised his hands and a holographic screen appeared, and he used it to beat the monster easily.

This happened three more times.

Each time the fight was relatively easy.

Then it happened, a fight with another effigy.

Ranma had no idea how to counter it, as it seemed to be random, and soon his effigy lost, and his attempts to fight it himself ineffective.

He was lying on the ground, feeling what he thought was death creeping up on him, and he fought back with his will.

His attempts to stand were met by sheer agony, and he couldn't do more than flop around.

"Well isn't this interesting," a voice sounded. "Someone that shouldn't be here, is. And one that refuses to give up, well I suppose I shall give you a chance, choose the one that will become the holder of your fate. It shall be amusing to see how far you get. My respects to you for not giving into your fate."

Looking up suddenly, and by instinct, he saw three figures.

A woman with a sword.

A woman with a bow, horns, and many other weapons.

A woman with animal ears and a mirror.

He reached out toward one with a hand shuddering in agony, and a body that felt like it would break at any moment, he said, "Help me. I don't want to die."

"I accept your contract," the one he had randomly reached towards said, grasping his hand, a hand that flared in pain as a red design sprang up on it.

At the moment the pain in his hand happened, the pain in his body dulled to a bone-deep ache. An ache that started to fade.

The young man felt his strength return so he stood up, and gaped at the beautiful horned girl that had answered his call.

"I am servant archer, and I have answered your call master, but before we continue, we should take care of... that." the silver-haired woman said, pointing at the effigy that had killed Ranma's.

"Er... same as with the doll thing?" Ranma asked while getting to his unsteady feet.

"Mostly, I'm a bit more independent than that thing, but I'll need similar help in battle due to the rules of the tournament.

Ranma nodded as he prepared to fight.

The fight was relatively easy, not only because he could see some of what his enemy was going to do, but because the woman was far more powerful than his old effigy.

Soon it fell, and Ranma collapsed, exhausted.

Then the voice sounded again, "Welcome master one-twenty-eight. You are the final master selected for the holy grail war. You are an abnormality in this tournament, and I look forward to your efforts."

Ranma's last thought before darkness claimed him was, what?

He then fell into blackness.


"... and that is how I ended up entering a fight for my life," Ranma finished, finishing the tea that had been given to him by Tomoe during his story.

Nodoka looked at her female, and pregnant son and she still itched to do what the contract demanded, but her thought was interrupted by a voice that was unwelcome to the two that recognized it.

"An interesting story Ranma my girl. Now don't look at me that way, you are obviously female now, and pregnant to boot! How you got that way would have to be a story for another day. I must say your choice in wives is impeccable, two beauties, that only my heir could find. Also I'm impressed at your home, and the fact that you managed to stay under the radar all this time with such a large home" a short old man said while finishing with a cackle.

"Happosai," Ranma ground out, "Try anything with them and you'll regret it."

"And how would you... erk!" the short man said, only to be interrupted by a delicate-seeming hand around his throat."

The old man looked at Ranma who was smug. Then at the women holding him, who could snap his neck like a twig from her position.

He gave a nod the best he could while having his throat nearly crushed, and then was dropped.

"Well, that answers that. Lovely and strong, I approve! Now, my apprentice, we need to discuss your training once you're in shape," the old man said while massaging his neck.

"I told you, you are not my master," Ranma ground out.

"Ranma respect..." Nodoka started, only to be cut off by a glare from the child she gave birth to.

Happosai frowned. It looked like he needed to use 'the stick'. He also decided to use 'the carrot' as well.

"Ranma, unless you plan on giving up your martial arts, I am your master. Simply because I'm the grand master of your style. I'll even give you two promises on my honor as the grandmaster of anything goes.

I will not grope you, your wives, or your children when they're old enough, and that I will take your training as seriously as you do."

Ranma sighed, he had no choice but to agree, but he had to tell the old man something, "Just so you know, I promised to bear children from each of my wives when they use instant man powder, and I'm only part way through Tomoe's children. I will also demand two more promises, not to corrupt any male children in the household, and to keep any heat that gets on you away from here."

The old man nodded and said, "A promise on your honor eh? I can deal with that. We can do the light stuff and mental training during these times, and the heavy combative parts later. And that's no problem. Now shake on it?"

Reluctantly Ranma held out a hand that the aged grandmaster took. The old man sighed at the sacrifices he was making for the only possible heir of his art. At least the boy has two willing girls to absorb energy from, and he could learn to do so at a far younger age than he did. Then he had a thought, "One thing Ranma, I want to hear the rest of your story."

at Ranma's agreement, he departed to find an empty room in the multi-story mansion that was the Tohsaka-Gozen home, and he found that a cubby in the attic was perfect for him, and perfectly out of the way of the family.

He would be down tomorrow for story time.

Nodoka soon left as well and was told to come back at ten am tomorrow to hear the rest.

Ranma was dragged to his bed by his enthusiastic wives and was soon asleep.

Tomorrow he would have a story to tell...

about his first kill in the Holy Grail War.


End chapter.

EN: Lower Earth Orbit Martial Artist.