This is probably gonna flop, but I really wanted to do this, since, like, forever. Enjoy, I guess.
"Katniss, you need to speak."
Katniss obstinately kept her mouth shut and shook her head. She curled up in bed, putting her blanket over herself. She hadn't spoke since the rebellion ended.
"Sweetheart... just do it." Haymitch said, leaning against her bedpost.
"Katniss..." Peeta said, pulling a chair over and sitting down. "I know it's been hard, but-"
Peeta was cut off by the look in her eyes as she slowly looked up. He could see the trauma in her eyes, like she was still fighting, watching people die in front of her.
Her eyes were bloodshot, red from crying.
"Write a letter." Haymitch said.
"Doctor Aurelius suggested it, write your feelings down?"
Katniss glared at them as Peeta gingerly passed her a piece of paper and a pen. She turned her back against them and began writing.
When she finished, she threw the piece of paper at them and the pen was thrown across the room, hitting the wall.
"Could we read it?" Peeta asked.
As expected, Katniss didn't answer.
Haymitch snatched the paper from Peeta's hands and read. His hands trembled slightly as he passed the note to Peeta. For once, he was speechless.
"Sweetheart..." He said, "I..."
Peeta took the paper and read.
You have no idea how much you meant to me. Your optimistic attitude, your loyal, kind ways. You'll have a place in my heart forever. I will remember you.
How hard it is to go into the forest and hunt, seeing the Mockingjays and remembering you.
How I honor you by whistling your notes.
Hearing them whistle it back.
It's so, so painful, remembering the times we had reflected in their music. I remember how special music was to you.
I sing the lullaby to them, the very same I sang to you while you left the world, left me.
They sing it back perfectly, and I start remembering again.
I see little girls playing in the trees.
I see my daughter, jumping from one tree to the next, just as skilled and agile as you. It reminds me of you.
As silent as you, just as swift, she jumps from one tree to another effortlessly. The tears well up in my eyes, and I want to cry, but I don't.
The pain in my heart is indescribable.
I grow the herb of grace, the rue, outside my house, for you. I put it next to the primrose.
I like to think that the rue and the primrose are best friends. Just like how you and my sister, Prim, would've been if you'd both lived.
Of course, I placed a katniss plant in a pond nearby too.
I never wanted this to happen.
I love you.
You meant so much to me. From the day I volunteered for you in the Games, the day I befriended Rue, the day I voted for the last Hunger Games to be played using the Capitol's children, I remembered you. I thought of you in the arena, even though I knew every second in it could be my last.
I knew you and Rue would've been great friends.
I remember your passion for all things medical, and your training to be that doctor you always wanted to be.
When I look at Mom, or any other doctor, I am reminded of you, and your sacrifice trying to save the lives of innocent children.
I look at my son now; he carries the same strength as you, the same feeling of wanting to help others, and I remember you.
I remember how we both stayed strong even when Dad left. I remember how we slept together, with Buttercup.
I remember thinking of you when I shot that arrow at Coin instead of Snow, I thought of you, Rue, Finnick, and all those whom died under a corrupt government. I couldn't allow that to happen.
I grow primroses outside my house to remember you. They bloom and flourish now, symbolizing what you could've been. I put the primroses next to the rue plant. I'm sure you'd have liked Rue.
I made sure to have a pond with katniss near it. Even though the plants are outside my house, it isn't home without you.
I love you so, so much.
I love sugar cubes now.
I place them in my tea and coffee whenever I drink it.
I eat it raw sometimes, too, like you.
I feed it to horses whenever I see them. One comes to my house every day. I've named it Finnick, after you. He reminds me of you, the way he gobbles up all my sugar cubes. I love it, though I can't hold back tears when he comes visiting, because he reminds me so much of you.
It's so painful, remembering.
I've placed little tridents on my flower beds of primroses and rues. It sits alongside little pebbles, on which I wrote all of the names of those I'd loved and lost.
I remember the time you married Annie. But you left before your little baby could be born. I am so, so sorry.
I remembered that I was so happy for you and Annie. Annie's doing great, and your little child is so cute.
I remember how Haymitch gave you his golden bangle. I gave your kid a replica of it, plus a little necklace with a small trident charm.
He wears it every day, and even though he is too young to understand, he just feels compelled to wear it. Call it instincts.
I remember how you helped me vent my anger and frustration by tying knots. I have some now. I still use them. I'm getting better at it every day.
I love you, Finnick, you were one of my best friends. Ever.
Dear Rue, Prim and Finnick,
I want to forget. Forget all the horrible things that had happened. But I can't, because that means I have to forget you. I have to honor your memories, remember all the brave things that you have done.
Even though you can't read this, I want to say that I have a hole in my heart that is all yours.
And it can never mend.
I love you all. I will remember you.
"Katniss..." Peeta mumbled, as lost for words as Haymitch.
"We'll go through this together, okay?" Peeta said.
"We're a team, right? Real or not real?"
Katniss smiled, for the first time in a while.
She finally spoke, though her voice was cracked from disuse, Peeta and Haymitch could hear the determination in it.
Ummm... first time doing a Hunger Games fanfic? Hope you enjoy? Do leave constructive criticism. Thanks!