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Repressed
The silence does something to you. Especially when you are locked into a box with little room for movement. After minutes, days, eternity, of torture it's difficult to find words. It's difficult to grasp time. All you feel is relief, freedom, air.
Debrief. They want to debrief me about the mission. They don't care about the details. The care that it was executed and that I am still functional. Still their puppet. Still willing to sign on for another eternity of torture. They throw money at me. When that doesn't work, they blackmail. When that doesn't work, they threaten.
It is hard to threaten a man who does not care. A man who does not have anything to lose. Then they mention her.
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It is difficult to pinpoint the exact moment when I snapped. Before I knew it, I was walking out of the room, leaving the facility and driving away. My drive back to Trenton was quiet as I planned the extraction mission. I needed to be careful and thorough. There can be no mistakes.
The silence took over once again and I had to pull over and empty the contents of my stomach. Nothing came out. After a moment I clamber onto the vehicle and start driving again. I leave the windows open.
With no distractions to attend to, my mind brought back the memories of what I had narrowly escaped. Only the empty road was privy to my maddened screams and roars of pain. Regaining control, I restarted the car and started driving. There is no relief from the pain.
The silence took over again.
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It was late night by the time I made it back to Trenton. I rolled into Rangeman and alighted the vehicle. Tank was waiting by the elevator. The twitch of his eye gave away his concern from my appearance. There is no turning back now. I press 7 on the panel and we ride up in silence. The hum of the elevator keeps me from clawing at the door in an attempt to escape.
It is a relief to exit into the open. I scan myself into the apartment with Tank on my heels. He knows that something is wrong. He's been with me too long to not be able to detect my behaviour. I walked into my bedroom and opened my safe. This isn't the time to talk. There is too much at the line to waste energy uselessly. I pull out a suitcase and dump the contents of the safe into it. Next, I dump some clothes and necessities into the bag. I then pull out one last piece of document and sign and date it, transferring my share of Rangemen over to Tank. I hand over the document to Tank, zip my luggage and walk out. Scrambling the cameras of the entire building I walk out to the hidden garage next to the building.
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When I roll into Stephanie's parking lot, I immediately notice the TPD car in the parking lot. Too bad for the cop, because there isn't anything that can stop me today. I am not the man I was three months ago. As I race up the stairs, I realise that Tank followed me here. He is right behind me as I break into her apartment. The cop is lucky that he's sleeping alone on the couch. That piece of junk just saved his life. I walk to the end of the hallway and open my Babe's bedroom door.
Silence. No, quiet. Peace fills me as I see her laid out, a smile on her face, wrapped up in a blanket even in the Jersey heat. Knowing that if I touch her now, I won't be able to keep it together, I open her wardrobe and grab her suitcase and start dumping everything into it. I grab a garbage bad and dump all her prized shoes into it. I make sure to pack all her makeup and her hygiene products.
The door slamming against the wall wakes up my Babe and puts me on the edge.
"What do you think you're doing you creep?!" Joseph Morelli yells.
I zip up the luggage and walk towards my Babe, who seems adorably confused by everything. I pull her into my arms and breathe her in.
"Ranger?" her voice is soft.
"We need to go." I tell her. The first words I have spoken in a long time.
These words seem to make Morelli livid as he raises his voice once again, "You're just going to leave with this weirdo?! He's insane!"
A little more awake and aware now, Babe pulled away and looked at my face. She let out a gasp as she saw all the damage. Her hand flew up to my hair, pulling it back to get a better look. Tears filled her eyes before she reigned them in.
She pulled away completely from my arms and turned towards the cop, her quiet temper blew me away, "I do what I want Joe. I don't know what's happening but I'm not going to let him walk out of here alone. Let mum, daddy and grandma know that I'm okay. Drive Rex over to Rangeman. He'll be happy there."
With that she grabbed the bath robe from the armchair and took my hand in hers. "Lead the way Batman."
The cop, resigned to his fate, decided to be helpful and picked up the bags, mumbling under his breath. Tank followed with Rex.
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I pulled into a dirt road after about three hours of driving. Babe didn't ask any questions, just held my hand for the whole drive. She had fallen asleep about half an hour into the drive, so turning off the engine woke her up.
I walked over to her side and pulled her into my arms and carried her into the cabin and straight into the bedroom. Her arms around my neck were ecstasy. I sat down on the bed with her on my lap and toed my boots off. I didn't want to ever be away from her ever again. I don't think I could ever bear the separation. My arms tightened around her and she whimpered, then settled. I buried my face into her luxurious curls and took a deep calming breath. There's no going back now. This is it. This is heaven. She trusted me enough to blindly walk away with me, but she didn't realise the extent of the sacrifice she just made. Would she walk away if she knew? I can't let her go. She's mine now. She chose me.
My Babe had been admirably patient until now, but her mind had started running again. Her brain analysing and evaluating the situation, connecting points.
She reached up with her hands to pull my face closer to her and laid the sweetest kiss on my forehead, next to my new scar.
Her voice was quiet and gentle as she spoke, "What's going on Ranger? What happened?"
Her words are more than what I can handle, and months, years of repressed emotions break free as I sob and cry into her hair. She holds me and lets me cry. I don't know how long it was before I stopped, but it must have been hours because I could see dawn breaking from the window.
She pulled back a little from me, judging my emotions before separating from me. She pulled off the robe and walked to the door off from the bed, correctly guessing it to be the bathroom. I heard the flush of the toilet and the taps of the Jacuzzi being turned on. She came back out a few minutes later with minty fresh breath.
I was confused as she knelt in front of me; but realised that it was so she could pull my socks off. With a gentle touch, she urged me to stand up. She pulled my shirt over my head. Safely removed all my weapons and finally pulled my cargo pants off. There was no hesitation as she removed her own clothes.
She guided me into the tub and entered herself before turning off the taps. The bubbles surrounded us as we sat encased in each other's arms. I opened my eyes as I heard a click. She had opened the Bulgari body wash and was pouring a generous amount into her hand. She carefully lathered my shoulders and arms before working down towards my torso. She thoroughly cleaned every part of my body, making me feel as though I had never been properly cleaned before today.
She then handed me the body wash, her eyes warm and trusting. Once again, the complete faith she had in me had me sobbing fitfully as I was unable to control my reactions. It seemed as though the dam had finally opened and there was too much emotion pouring out. I felt raw inside and out. With tears pouring down my face I was able to soap up every blessed inch of her body. It fuelled my need to be close to her. I pulled her back into my arms and we sat there until the water started to cool.
We emerged from the bath and wiped away the water with the towels on the rack. She took stock of all my injuries and this time it was her trying to control her tears and failing.
I have spent years stocking this cabin from the moment I met my Babe, so it already had anything she could ever wish for, from her favourite soap to her favourite junk food. My obsessive behaviour extended to clothes and undergarments in her size as well as articles of clothing I'd borrowed from her own wardrobe. There was no way I was letting the cop or anyone else see her in my favourite lingerie. Sometimes it became a problem because I didn't want any man to ever see even her most bland under garments. She must have recognised some of the clothes because she raised both her eyebrows, letting me know we'd have a discussion later.
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We had fruit loops and some weird tasting long-life milk for breakfast and took a nap, exhausted from all the emotions flooding us. I finally built up the courage to tell her everything as I held her in my arms.
"Babe… It's been a long couple of years. The last few missions have been straight hell." My voice shook as I tried to keep going. "The last mission, I – I was tortured. I didn't think I would make it out. It was bad. I don't think I could tell you the details if I tried. They… they wanted me to sign a new contract, but I walked out. They tried to threaten me with you. We need to go away for a few years, I don't know how long… I should have told you before, but I've pretty much taken you away from your old life. You won't be able to talk to your friends and family. I know it's a lot to ask of you… but I need you. Please don't leave. Please."
She was silent for a moment. It was only the feel of her pulse that keep me stable. She took a deep breath, a pinnacle for both my hope and agony, and responded.
"Whilst I am upset that I won't be able to see my friends and family and my Merry Men for a while, maybe never, I am glad that we will finally have our someday. I will never leave you."
Her words, quietly spoken, held a lot of power. I could no longer contain myself as I peppered her face with kisses. We were going to be okay. She wouldn't resent me for taking her away from her family. I felt happiness I only ever dreamt of fill me as she responded with equal passion.
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Then they lived happily ever after with occasional cryptic postcards, spam emails and memes sent to their friends and family.
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A/N: Hope you enjoyed this. Let me know how you felt about this storyline in the reviews. I was trying to create an obsessive paranoid Ranger, but it didn't quite work out. He was supposed to kidnap her, but the characters would not comply. Ugh! Even Joe was being super helpful.