Author's Note: Okay folks prepare yourselves for one of, if not the most strange Christmas fic I have ever done.
A Dalek Christmas!
Far across space, in a time that is unsure, there is a planet that no one dares to go.
The planet Skaro.
Home to one of if not the most dangerous races in the whole universe.
They kill all that is not them, they only think about killing and or conquering races and worlds.
And yet today something strange is happening on Skaro. For some reason the Daleks have created a weather controlling device and used it to make their planet snow and all the Daleks appear to be hovering over a frozen lake and even most strange they seem to be…decorating every one of their building structures with multi colored lights.
If anyone would know any better the Daleks where trying to celebrate…Christmas.
And even more strange there is a group of Robomen all wearing ugly Christmas sweaters and…are caroling.
Robomen: Christmas Time is Here, Happiness and Cheer.
Fun for all, that children call their favorite time of year.
As this non-emotional and depressing song is playing two Daleks made their way and observed the goings on.
The First Dalek's appearance is similar to the ones that have fought in the Time war (Russel T Davis Daleks but with yellow and black colors) and the second one is similar to the Blue Paradigm Daleks.
They have been designated Dalek Brown and Dalek Lin.
Robomen: Snowflakes in the air, carols everywhere.
Olden times and ancient rhymes of love and dreams to share.
"DALEK LIN!," spoke Dalek Brown.
"YES, DALEK BROWN?" spoke Dalek Lin.
"WHY ARE THE ROBOMEN SINGING?" asked Dalek Brown.
"IT IS NECESSARY FOR THE CELEBRATION OF CHRISTMAS!" answered Dalek Lin.
"BUT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. WHY IS THIS NECCSEARY? WHY DO WE ALLOW THE ROBOMEN TO DO THIS?"
"DO NOT QUESTION THE METHODS OF THE DALEKS, DALEK BROWN!" ordered Dalek Lin, "PERPAHS DALEK LUC WAS CORRECT OF ALL THE DALEKS IN THE UNIVERSE YOU ARE THE MOST USELESS!"
Dalek Lin then moved to a new location while Dalek Brown watched as its Ogron (wearing a black and while clothing) as its started skating alongside the other Daleks.
Robomen: Sleigh Bells in the air, beauty everywhere, yuletide by the fireside and joyful memories there.
Christmas time is here we'll be drawing near. Oh , that we could always see such spirit through the year.
"SILENCE!" Dalek Brown shouted to the Robomen.
"STOP THE SINGING AND CONTINUE YOUR ASSING INSTROUCTIONS OR YOU WILL BE EXSTERMINATED!"
"We obey," All the Robomen said as they left to do their master's biding, leaving Dalek Brown to its thoughts as it started moving.
"I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND. WHY ARE THE DALEKS ATTEMPTING TO CELEBRATE CHIRSTMAS? IT IS A HOLIDAY OF THE INFERIOR HUMAN SPIECES, SO WHY ARE THE DALEKS EVEN DOING THIS!"
Dalek Brown then came upon another Dalek, this one's travel machine is reminiscent of the original design but purple.
"Dalek Vi!" said Dalek Brown. "YOU WILL ANSWER MY QUESTION. I-"
"NEGATIVE!" said Dalek Vi. "I HAVE OTHER DUTIES TO PREFORM, YOU MUST NOT KEEP ME FROM MY DUTIES, DO SO AND YOU WILL BE EXSTERMINATED!"
Dalek Brown's eyestalk lowered, "I OBEY."
And with that Dalek Vi activated its levitation and flew away and as it did Dalek Brown noticed another Dalek, this one had the same travel machine design as its own but in green color, it was called Dalek Sid (This one is Lord Primeval's Dalek OC, Marry Christmas, buddy!) Dalek Sid was using its plunger like limb and repeatedly smack one of the snow covered petrified trees.
"SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!" said Dalek Sid in repeat.
Dalek Brown traveled to its fellow Dalek and spoke to it.
"DALEK SID!" said Dalek Brown, "OUT OF ALL THE DALKES I KNOW, YOU ARE MORE USELESS THEN ME!"
But Dalek Sid did not hear, Dalek Brown as it continued to smack the tree and Dalek Brown moved away from this strange Dalek and focused on interacting with the other more competent Daleks.
As Dalek Brown passed by a Slyther that was eating a pile of defective Robomen at a time, Dalek Brown could see the other Daleks gathered all with multiple version of a Dalek Travel machine.
They where Dalek Lin and three others, a brown Dalek called Dalek Pat (classic design), a purple and black striped Dalek named Dalek Schroed (Peter Cushing Dalek design), and finally Dalek Luc (A blue Original Dalek supreme design).
"DALEK PAT WHY HAVE YOU OPENED YOUR CASING?" asked Dalek Schroed.
"I HAVE DISCOVERED THE INFERIOR HUAMNS ENJOYED FEELING THE TOUCH OF SNOW ON THEIR SKINS, THERFOR I WISH TO EXPERIENCE IT!" said Dalek Pat as it opened its casing and when the snow touched it, it shouted.
"ALERT! IT IS COLD!"
Dalek Lin copied its fellow Dalek and opened its casing as well and felt the snow on its skin, "IT IS COLD AND IT IS ALSO WET!"
"OF COURSE!" said Dalek Luc, "SNOW IS FROZEN WATER, OF COURSE IT WOULD BE COLD AND WET!"
"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE EXPLAINED MORE!" said Dalek Lin.
After that the Daleks started firing their weapons for target practice, and the object they are firing upon is a copy of the Doctor's TARDIS.
All Daleks have fired and nearly missed the copy TARDIS, even Dalek Brown joined in but it missed as well, then Dalek Lin fired a massive blast upon it and destroyed the copy for good.
"DALEK LIN!" said Dalek Luc, "YOUR TRAVEL MACHINE IS INFIERIOR, WHAT WILL ALL THE INEFIEOR LIFE FORMS SAY WHEN THEY SEE YOU?"
Dalek Lin looked at Dalek Luc, "PERHAPS WHEN THEY SEE MY LARGER SIZE, THEY WILL THINK I'M MORE SUPEIOR THEN YOU!"
Before Dalek Luc could fire upon Dalek Lin, it noticed Dalek Brown approaching.
"DALEK LUC," it said, "I REQUIER YOU CONFERENCE!"
"VERY WELL." Dalek Luc and Dalek Brown both moved far away from the other Daleks as Dalek Brown spoke first.
"DALEK LUC I-"
"WAIT!" Dalek Luc said and it pointed to a Roboman. "FIRST YOU MUST KILL THIS ROBOMAN FOR SINGING TERRIBLY AT THE CHOUR!"
"I OBEY." Dalek Brown pointed its weapon at the Roboman, "EXSTERMINATE!"
Dalek Brown fired and the Roboman fell down dead.
"YES! YES, WHAT A SOUND!" cried Dalek Luc, "THE SOUNDS OF OUR BLASTERS AND THE DEATH OF THOSE THAT FALLOW ARE ALWAYS PERFECT, I CAN NEVER GET TIRED OF THE SOUND OF EXSTERMINATING INFERIOR LIFE FORMS!"
After that Dalek Luc turned to Dalek Brown.
"WHAT DO YOU WISH TO TALK ABOUT?"
"I AM CONFUSED," Dalek Brown said, "I DO NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!"
"ARE YOU TROBLED ABOUT RECENT CHANGES?" asked Dalek Luc.
"PERHAPS I CAN FIGURE IT OUT BY ASKING YOU QUESTIONS AND TELLING YOU THE PROBLEM!"
"VERY WELL." Said Dalek Brown.
"ARE YOU TORBLED BY ICE WARRIORS? IF YOU ARE THEN YOU HAVE MARTINPHOBIA!" said Dalek Luc.
"NEGATIVE!" Answered Dalek Brown.
"ARE YOU TORUBLED BY WEEPING ANGELS, IF SO THEN YOU HAVE MOFFETPHOBIA!"
"WHAT ABOUT MECHANOIDS IF YOU ARE THE YOU HAVE JUGGERNAUTPHOBIA!"
"PERHAPS, BUT THAT IS NOT-"
"THEN HOW ABOUT TORCHWOODPHOBIA? THAT MEANS YOU ARE TORUBLED BY JACK HARTNESS.
"THERE IS ALSO THE FEAR OF OUR CREATOR DAVROS, THAT IS CALLED GENEISPHOBIA."
"OR MABYE YOU HAVE TIMELORDPHOBIA, DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE TIMELORDPHOBIA?"
"WHAT'S TIMELORDPHOBIA?" asked Dalek Brown.
"THE FEAR OF THE DOCTOR!" Answered Dalek Luc and at that moment all the Daleks in the area started firing at random while shouting things like 'THE DOCTOR MUST BE EXTSERMINATED! Or 'THE DOCTOR IS INFIEOR!' until finally all the Daleks started to calm down.
"ACUTALLY, MY TORUBLE IS CHRISTMAS," explained Dalek Brown. "I JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT."
"IT IS ALL PART OF OUR MASTERPLAN," explained Dalek Luc, "PERHAPS WHAT YOU NEED IS INVOLVMENT IN OUR PLAN. YOU WILL BE THE STRATEGIST FOR THE PLAN!"
"ME!" said Dalek Brown. "I AM TO BE THE STRATEGIST FOR THE CHRISTMAS PLAN?"
"YES, DALEK BROWN," said Dalek Luc, "WE REQUIER A STRATEGIST AND YOU NEED INVOVLMENT, WE HAVE ALL THAT WE NEED. WEAPONS, SHIPS, SLAVE SOLIDERS AND I WILL SERVE AS THE SURPEME DALEK OF THE MISSION!"
"BUT I HAVE NEVER BEEN A STRATEGIST BEFORE!" said Dalek Brown.
"YOU WILL HAVE AID IN THIS. YOU WILL REATUN TO THE CITY FOR THE PRACTICE OF THE INVASION!" explained Dalek Luc.
"I OBEY!" said Dalek Brown as Dalek Luc levitated towards the city and Dalek Brown was to follow but it noticed its Ogron was setting up something up.
"OGRON!," said Dalek Brown, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"Master," said the Ogron, "I am required to show you this."
The Ogron showed Dalek Brown a piece of paper with words in Skaro language.
"THE OGRONS ARE REQUIED TO INFLTRATE THE HUMANS AND INTERACT WITH THEM IN A POSITIVE MANNER TO AVOID SUSPISON AND ARE THEIRFOR REQUIRED TO ENJOY THE HOLIDAY," Dalek Brown read.
"ENJOYED THE HOLIDAY! OH NO!" screamed Dalek Brown. "MY OWN OGRON REQUIRED TO BE ENJOYED I CAN'T STAND IT! STAND IT! STAND IT!"
Dalek Brown left the Orgon and soon came upon a pink and black polka dotted Special Weapons Dalek named Dalek Sal.
"DALEK BROWN I REQUEST YOU ASSITANCE!" said Dalek Sal.
"VERY WELL BUT HURRY. I AM NEEDED FOR THE PLAN!" Dalek Brown said.
"THIS WILL BE SHORT," said Dalek Sal. "I REQUIRE TO KNOW OF MY IMPORTANCES, PERHAPS WHEN WE INVADE I TALK FIRST, AFTER ALL IT IS A SPEICAL HOLDAY TO INVADE AND-"
"SPECIAL HOLIDAY?!" shouted Dalek Brown, "EVEN THE SPEICAL WEAPON DALEK!" Dalek Brown then flew away as fast as it can.
"ALL I WANTED IS TO BE INCLUDED MORE. ALL I WANT IS TO HAVE MORE APPERANCE. APPERANCE! APPERANCE!
Inside a large dome, all Daleks gathered for the plan and Dalek Luc stood in front.
"ATTENTION! ATTENTION, WE MUST PREPARE FOR THE ARRIVAL OF THE STRATEGIST!"
"WHO IS THE STRATEGIST?" asked Dalek Pat.
"DALEK BROWN," answered Dalek Luc.
"ALERT! ALERT! THE PLAN WILL FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!" shouted Dalek Vi.
"THIS WAS NOT A WIZE CHOICE!" said Dalek Pat.
"SILENCE! SILENCE!" shouted Dalek Luc, "NOW ALL HERE AND OBEY DALEK BROWN THE STRATEGIST!"
Dalek Brown entered the room and as it did the sound of someone booing echoed in the dome. Dalek Brown noticed that its Ogron was the source of it.
"YOU WILL DIE LATER," said Dalek Brown. Then Dalek Brown looked upon all the other Daleks.
"MY FELLOW DALKES," Dalek Brown started, "I WILL MAKE A STRATEGY THAT WILL ENSURE VICTORY FOR THE DALEKS! AND ALL WILL HAIL TO THE POWER OF THE DALKES! ALL HAIL THE DALKES!
"ALL HAIL THE DALKES! ALL HAIL THE DALKES!" All the Daleks chanted.
"SILENCE!" shouted Dalek Brown, "NOW, DALEK LUC WILL GIVE A CERTIN DALEK THEIR INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE PLAN!"
And with that Dalek Luc began to give each Dalek their purpose.
Dalek Luc came upon Dalek Fried (Think white Dalek with a brighter gold orbs).
"DALEK FRIED, YOU WILL BE THE COMMANDER OF THE FIRST INVASION FLEET!"
"NATURALLY I WILL COMMAND DUE TO MY SHINY ORBS!" said Dalek Fried.
Dalek Luc came to Dalek Sid.
"DALEK SID YOU WILL-"
But Dalek Sid was smacking a wall.
"SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!" It repeated.
Dalek Luc raised its gun to fire but then it lowered it.
"YOU WILL FIGHT ON THE FORNT LINE!" said Dalek Luc. "HOPEFULLY DALEK SID WILL BE THE FIRST TO DIE!"
Dalek Luc then came to a black Dalek named Dalek Sher.
"DALEK SHER! YOU WILL SERVE AS THE COMMANDER OF THE ROBOMEN!"
"WHY MUST I ALWAYS BE THE COMMANDER OF THE ROBOMEN? WHY? WHY? WHY?" asked Dalek Sher but Dalek Luc just continued on and stared at Dalek Brown's Ogron.
"OGRON, YOU WILL SERVE AS PRACTE FOR ANY ALIEN LIFEFORMS," said Dalek Luc.
"Yes, Master," said the Ogron.
"CAN YOU BE AN ICE WARRIOR?"
The Ogron made a hissed noise.
"HOW ABOUT A CYBERMAN?"
"Delete. Delete," said the Ogron.
"NOW HOW ABOUT THE DOCTOR?"
The Ogron scratched his head, "Which one master?"
"I DON'T CARE!" shouted Dalek Luc, "PICK ONE!"
"Uhh, Reverse the polarity?" The Ogron said, "Allonsy!"
"YES, YOU MAKE A GOOD DOCTOR!" said Dalek Luc, but instead of stopping the Ogron continued.
"Oh my giddy aunt!, When I say run! Would you like a jelly baby? GERANIMO!"
"ENOUGH! I ODER YOU TO BE SILENT!" shouted Dalek Luc.
"Sorry, Master," said The Ogron then suddenly the Ogron sneezed on Dalek Luc.
"ALERT! ALERT! I HAVE BEEN CONTAMINATED, CONTAMINATED! ASSIT ASSIST!" Dalek Luc screamed until two Daleks came in a spread de-contaminated suds on Dalek Luc.
"THAT IS ENOUGH OF THAT DALEK LUC, CONTINUE WITH THE INSTRUCTION!" shouted Dalek Brown.
Dalek Luc then came up towards Dalek Lin.
"DALEK LIN YOU WILL SERVE AS MY SECOND IN COMMAND AND FOLLOW MY ORDERS TO THE FULLIST!" shouted Dalek Luc.
"BUT YOUR ORDERS HAVE COMPLICATIONS," said Dalek Lin. "WHY SHOULD I FOLOW ORDERS THAT HAVE COMPLICATIONS, GIVE ME A REASON!"
Then Dalek Luc fired its weapon near Dalek Lin and the blast destroyed a part of the floor.
Dalek Lin fidgeted slightly, "THAT IS. A VERY GOOD REASON."
"NOW YOU MUST ACUIERE A NEW TRAVEL MACHINE AT ONCE!" Ordered Dalek Luc.
"NEGATIVE!" Dalek Lin argued, "THIS TRAVEL MACHINE IS OF GREAT USE TO ME. YOU WOULD'NT RISK THE MISSION ON A DALEK THAT FAILED TO ADJUST TO A NEW TRAVEL MACHINE WOULD YOU?"
Dalek Luc gave up and returned to Dalek Brown, "DALEK BROWN, THE INSTRUCTIONS HAVE BEEN GIVEN. YOU MAY PROCEDE."
Dalek Brown once more looked upon all the Daleks.
"Excellent, Daleks now we-"
Dalek Brown turned to Dalek Fried.
"WHAT IS IT, DALEK FRIED?"
"I HAVE FOUND OUT THAT I AM TO INVADE WITH DALEK SID!" Dalek Fried shouted, "THAT DALEK IS DEFECTED!"
"YES," Dalek Brown said, "BUT DALEK SID WILL BE OF GREAT USE AS A SHIELD FOR ANY ONCOMING ATTACKS FROM ENEMIES!"
Dalek Brown turned its eyestalk to the left, "NOW SPECIAL WEPONS DALEK SAL YOU WILL ALLY WITH DALEK LIN!"
"NO! NOT THAT!" shouted Dalek Lin but Dalek Sal was already by its side.
"NOW I WILL BE NOTICED MORE!" said Dalek Sal, "EVERYONE WILL BE LOOKING AT ME MORE THEN YOU!"
"SILENCE! SILENCE!" shouted Dalek Brown, "WE MUST GET ON WITH THE PLAN!"
"CORRECT! WHAT ABOUT MY PART OF THE PLAN?" said Dalek Luc.
"WHAT ABOUT MY ROLE AS THE DALEK SURPEME? DO YOU NOT THINK I WILL BE IMPROTATN TO THE PLAN?"
Dalek Brown was about to speak but Dalek Luc interrupted.
"YOU DID NOT ANSWER ME! YOU DO NOT THINK THAT I AM WORTHY OF BEING THE DALEK SURPEME? I HAVE BEEN INSULTED! INSULTED! INSULTED!"
"ENOUGH!" shouted Dalek Brown. "THIS WILL NOT WORK! HOW CAN THIS PLAN WORK IF WE HAVE NOTHING THAT WILL REMIND US THAT THE HUMANS ARE CELBRATING CHRISTMAS?!"
All the Daleks where silent, they all started thinking, then Dalek Luc suddenly had an idea.
"HOW ABOUT A CHRISTMAS TREE? IT IS ONE OF THE BEST REPRESENTATION OF THAT HOLIDAY!"
"YES!" said Dalek Brown, "I WILL FIND A TREE THAT WE WILL USE TO PRACTACE FOR THE PLAN!"
"I WILL JOIN YOU, DALEK BROWN," said Dalek Lin.
"JUST MAKE SURE ITS ONE OF THE PETRFIED ONES," said Dalek Luc.
"DO NOT FAIL US THIS TIME, DALEK BROWN!" said Dalek Pat.
With that Dalek Brown and Dalek Lin started heading out of the city and towards the woods and started searching for the right tree to practice on.
They searched and searched until they came upon an old Thal camp and to their surprised a full-grown medium sized tree was standing in the middle of the long deserted camp.
"HOW CAN THEIR BE A LIVING TREE ON SKARO?" said Dalek Lin, "THAT DOES NOT MAKE SENCE!"
"THIS DOES NOT MATTER," said Dalek Brown, "THIS WILL BE THE BEST REMINDER OF THE CHRISTMAS INVASION!" Dalek Brown fired at the trunk and took the tree with them. (Don't ask me how they did that with the plungers just roll with it.)
Dalek Lin went to Dalek Schroed for the next part of the plan.
"NOW WE MUST ADD THE MOST IMPORTATN PART OF THE INVASION PLAN," said Dalek Lin. "THE THEME MUSIC!"
"YES, IT IS THE MOST IMPORANT," said Dalek Schroed.
"JUST AS LONG AS WE DON'T OVERUSE MURRY GOLD," said Dalek Lin.
"AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH MURRY GOLD?" said Dalek Schroed insulted.
"IF WE USE TO MUCH MUSCI FROM MURRY GOLD, THEN IT WOULD BE TIRED SOME TO A FEW," explained Dalek Lin, "WE DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO GET TIRED OF MURRY GOLD DO WE?"
Dalek Schored sighed as they played some diffrent Christmas music at random, when it got to Jingel bell Rock, the Ogron came in and started dancing, the two Daleks noticed the Ogron dancing and then Dalek Lin fired its weapon at it, killing the Ogron.
"THE OGRON'S DANICNG STINKS!" said Dalek Lin.
"WE FOUND THE TREE!" shouted Dalek Brown as it placed the tree in front for all the Daleks to see.
Then all the Daleks looked at Dalek Brown.
"YOU ARE STUPID, DALKE BROWN!" shouted Dalek Vi.
"THIS IS A THAL TREE!" said Dalek Pat.
"YOU WOULD DARE BRING A THAL TREE HERE!" said Dalek Lin.
"I KNEW DALEK BROWN WOULD MESS THIS UP!" added Dalek Vi. "DALEK BROWN CAN NOT BE RELIED ON FOR ANYTHING!"
"YOU ARE A FAILURE, DALEK BROWN. A FAILURE!" shouted Dalek Lin.
"FAILURE! FAILURE! FAULURE!" shouted all the Daleks in the dome.
"WHY!?" shouted Dalek Brown causing all the Daleks to be silent.
"WHY ARE WE EVEN DOING THIS? WHY IS LEARNING ABOUT CHRISMTAS AND DOING CHRISTMAS THINGS A PART OF THE MISSION? TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME!
Dalek Lin approached Dalek Brown.
"I WILL TELL YOU WHY, DALEK BROWN."
Dalek Lin stood before all the Daleks, "LIGHTS!" Dalek Lin command.
"I OBEY," said a random Dalek as all lights where on Dalek Lin, and it began to speak.
"IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT OUT OF ALL THE HUMAN HOIDAYS THAT ARE ON THE PLANET EARTH, CHRISTMAS WAS THE MOST FAVORITE OF THE DOCTOR. WHEN CHRISTMAS CAME THE DOCTOR WOULD MAKE A SPECIAL APPEARANCE ON THE PLANET AND IT WAS THEN DECIDED THAT THE BEST WAY TO KILL THE DOCTOR WAS TO APPEAR ON EARTH AND RUIN HIS FAVORITE HOLIDAY BY ANY MEANS."
Dalek Lin turned to Dalek Brown.
"THAT IS WHY WE ARE DOING CHRISTMAS, DALEK BROWN."
Dalek Brown turned to the tree, now fully understanding why the Daleks are doing this and knowing that made it understand and knowing now what it must do.
Dalek Brown fired on the tree and all the Daleks watched it burn. Dalek Brown turned to all the Daleks once more and they all shouted.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS DALEK BROWN!"
All the Daleks: Oh here comes the Weeping Angels. Lets make their deaths painful.
Wait a second they cant die! Dame you Moffit damn you die!
Why would you create these things, at least they can't fly with those wings.
True they are not as popular as us, so fan should not make a fuss.
"STOP! STOP SINGING!" shouted Dalek Sid.
"WHAT IS IT?!" asked Dalek Brown.
"I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE DOCTOR IS NOT DOING A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL! THE DOCTOR IS DOING A NEW YEARS SPEICAL!"
"WHAT!" shouted all the Daleks.
Author's Note: Well that happened and you guys can all blame Lord Primeval for putting the idea in my head, so thanks all lot pal! But it was a challenge. Everyone have a Merry Christmas!