65Author's notes: Thank you for the guest reviews for yesterday's chapter. You guys rock!
Also, no, my first language isn't Spanish, but Telugu, one of the lesser known languages spoken in India :) :) But I've been learning Spanish at the YMCA! I've wanted to learn forever, and finally got the chance now. I'm in love with it, Spanish is such a romantic language :D
"Was he bothering you again?" Marlene asked Lily as she walked over to them.
"No, we were just talking," said Lily sadly.
"Then why do you look so upset?" Marlene asked her.
"I-" Lily didn't know how to tell them. They had no clue how she felt, and she didn't think she could answer all their questions if she told them.
"Lily honey, is everything alright?" asked Alice.
"Lily, talk to us," said Mary. "It's just us."
"I know," she said, nodding. "I actually need to talk to Remus."
"Well, he's over there," said Marlene, pointing to the pier where Remus and Peter were sitting.
The way they were looking at her made her nervous, and also a little mortified. But talking to Remus had always helped her before, so why not now?
"Okay. I'll tell you girls what's going on after I talk to him, I promise," she said to them and made her way over to Remus through the water.
"Good luck," Peter said to Remus, smirking, and went off to join the other boys playing some game with a muggle ball and a net.
"Are you okay?" he asked as she approached him.
"I don't know, I don't think I am," she said.
He helped her up onto the pier and smiled at her. "Well, tell me what's up, then."
She inhaled deeply like she was going to say something, but then she didn't, she just exhaled again.
"Lily, it's okay, just say it," he told her.
"Just don't- don't think badly of me after I tell you," she said.
"I won't, just think of me as an impartial, neutral banana tree," he said, making her giggle.
Then she sighed. "Okay," she said. "I know that by saying this, I'll be going back on many things I said over the years, and everyone might think I'm an idiot for even thinking this-"
"Just say it!"
"I like James," she said quickly, and covered her face with her hands. Then she heard him chuckle and looked up at him.
"Lily, I know," he said. He was so glad that she herself had come up to him to talk about this and not the other way around.
"What!"
"Yeah, I've known for some time now," he told her.
She stared thoughtfully at him for a few moments. "Right, probably since that day I came and told you I wasn't actually a lesbian," he said. "God, could I have been more obvious?"
He smiled at her. "Well, yeah, since that day," he said. "But Sirius told me he's known about it since before James and Salima got together."
"What! Even I didn't know then," said Lily incredulously.
"But he knew," said Remus. "Sirius can be very observant when he wants to be."
"Does James know?!" she asked, and Remus' eyebrows creased. "What will he think of me?"
"What do you mean? Don't you want him to know?" he asked her.
"I..." she said, looking down at the water again. "It would be embarrassing to know that he knows of my feelings but doesn't want to reciprocate..."
"Are you serious? His feelings have been un-reciprocated this whole time, but he was never embarrassed," said Remus.
"I know, I know," she said. "But that's just because he's so self-confident..."
"You're right," he said.
"So he doesn't...?" she asked him, shaking her head.
"He does," said Remus.
"He does?! He knows?!" she asked.
"I meant, he does still like you," he told her.
"He does?" she asked hopefully.
"Yes, he does. Of course he does, Lily, are you kidding me?" said Remus, but she didn't smile or jump for joy, she just looked mournful. "What is it?" he asked her gently.
"Then why did he walk away, just now?" she asked.
"What exactly happened?" he asked her and she told him everything.
"Lily, if this had happened last year, he would have continued to flirt with you, but he promised Marlene he wouldn't bother you anymore..."
"I don't understand, what has Marlene got to do with all this?" she asked. "I overheard them talking about it, but I didn't ask them-"
"Because then they'd want to know why you are so interested," said Remus, grinning.
"Yeah."
"You know, I'm starting to see why everyone says we are alike," said Remus, and she smiled a little. Then Remus told her how Marlene was involved in their break-up, and Lily grinned.
"I want to gift her the biggest box of Wizochoc they have," she said.
"Oh really?" he teased. She blushed a little and he laughed at her. "So obviously, no matter how much he wants to pursue you, he won't. Until you tell him directly how you feel."
"But I'm afraid," she moaned.
"Afraid of what? You know he loves you, of course he'd say 'yes' immediately."
"I know, but I keep thinking if this is right," she said.
"Lily."
"You must think I'm a selfish person," she mumbled, glumly hugging her knees.
"I don't."
"Foolish, then."
"I don't. I know what you mean, you wonder if this is right. But right for whom? Severus? You don't have to take into account, the opinions of people who don't have your best interests at heart," said Remus.
She looked up at him and smiled. "That was actually really insightful, Remus," she said.
"Yeah, it is," Remus said, nodding. "Sirius taught me that."
"Sirius?" she asked, surprised.
"Yeah. Sirius just knows these things," he said. "In many ways, he's a lot like James, that's probably why they're best friends. They really understand each other."
She smiled again.
"We keep thinking that doing what the heart wants is tricky, because there's so much at risk. But we have to trust that beyond the risk is so much happiness," he said. "Just be you, do you. Everyone who really matters," he said, gesturing at the girls. "Will understand."
Sirius put his clothes back on and went up to the dorm, but James wasn't there. He looked around for the Marauders' map, it was probably in James' trunk. He picked Coco up, who was snoozing on the trunk and checked it. James appeared to be in the grounds, walking towards Hagrid's cabin. So, he changed out of his wet swimming trunks and went down to Hagrid's. He heard sounds of laughter as he approached.
"-and the ruddy goblin says he's never even seen the warlock before!" said Hagrid and they laughed again. Sirius grinned and knocked on the door.
The door was opened and Hagrid looked down at Sirius. "Sirius! Come on in, we were just having a cuppa," he said jovially, and Sirius grinned and followed him in. There was a roaring fire and the cabin was so warm. James nodded at him, holding a huge mug.
"Just a cuppa?" asked Sirius, warming his hands in front of the fire. "I am freezing!"
"Well, it's only going to be tea for you, Sirius," said Hagrid, grinning.
"Oh, come on Hagrid, I know you have brandy hidden somewhere in here," said Sirius, opening a shelf.
"Oh, no you don't," said Hagrid, picking him up by the back of his robes and placing him down next to James, who laughed. "I know all your tricks!"
"Fine, I'll have the tea, thanks," said Sirius haughtily. "You great lummox," he added under his breath.
James kicked him. "Padfoot, be nice."
Hagrid handed him a cup of tea. "Merlin knows how you even know I keep my brandy up there," he said. "It's for medicinal purposes only, by the way."
"Sure," said James, nodding, making Hagrid grin.
"Hagrid! Is this cup made of stone?" asked Sirius, fascinated by it.
"Er, yeah," said Hagrid. "Well, it's the only other one I have, need to buy new ones..."
James and Sirius grinned at each other. They still hadn't given Hagrid a present for his birthday, which was last month, and now they knew what to give him. Sirius frowned. I wonder where we'd find a giant tea set though...
"So, James, tell me, what's ailing you?" said Hagrid, sitting down on the dining-table sized chair, next to his even bigger kitchen table.
"Huh? Nothing," said James. "What's ailing you?"
Sirius took a sip of the tea and swallowed it with difficulty. He thought he'd spew if he took one more sip of it. Damn it, I should have told Hagrid I don't like lemon in my tea!
"Um, nothing, but why the long face?" said Hagrid. "Lady troubles?"
Sirius laughed. "How did you know?" he said.
Hagrid smiled under his beard. "What else is there at this age?" he said.
"Crushing homework? " said Sirius.
"And the war," said James. Then he looked up at Hagrid seriously. "Are you in the Order, Hagrid?" Sirius glanced at him curiously. What's the Order?
"Well, Dumbledore thinks- wait a second, how do you know about the Order?" Hagrid asked, his eyes wide.
"You told us last time," said James, just to pull his leg.
"What?! No I didn't... I didn't say nothing about no Order... I don't even know what order you're talking about," mumbled Hagrid.
"Ah, don't worry, we do have other sources," said James, grinning. "It wasn't you."
Hagrid looked curious. "Who's the source?"
"Oh, you know one never reveals their sources, Hagrid," said James, grinning.
"Was it a student? Cos if it is, you 'ave ter tell Dumbledore-" said Hagrid.
"He knows," said James.
"Oh, alright," said Hagrid, although he still looked suspicious.
And there was a silence, while Sirius looked around, and spotted a cushion with a hole in it, like something burrowed into it. And instead of asking about it like a normal person, he put his hand into the hole and-
"Ouch! Something poked me!" he yelped, pulling his hand out quickly.
"What happened?" asked Hagrid, coming closer. "Oh no." Sirius' finger was bleeding.
"Don't! Don't put that in your mouth, you idiot!" said James, slapping the hand away from Sirius' mouth.
"Right," said Sirius. Knowing Hagrid, the creature could've been anything. "What's in there, Hagrid?"
"Oh, it's just a jobberknoll," said Hagrid fondly. "Found 'er in the courtyard the other day, appeared to have hurt 'er wing. But she's still young, so she's still a bit shy." He showed them the number of cuts he had on his own hand.
"You should get that checked out by Madam Pomfrey," Sirius advised him.
"Nah, I'm good, it's just a small cut," said Hagrid, waving a giant hand.
"Oh, okay. But you're still an idiot," said James to Sirius.
"Why am I the idiot? You're the idiot," said Sirius immediately.
"Who in their right mind, puts their hand in a hole like that?" asked James.
"You're right, Hagrid, it is Lady troubles," said Sirius, glaring at James. "Lily won't give him the time of day and he's moping about it."
James got to his feet and hit Sirius on the head with his empty mug. "OW!" yelled Sirius, spilling his hot tea all over himself.
"Okay, break it up, break it up!" said Hagrid, and James sat back down. Sirius rubbed his head, glowering at James.
"Ah Lily," said Hagrid, grinning. "She was here yesterday with Marlene, brought me a Christmas present! I thought she looked a bit glum as well."
"Did she say anything?" asked James, suddenly interested, Sirius exasperatedly shook his head at him.
Hagrid laughed. "We just talked about unicorns the entire time," he replied.
"Oh," said James, looking unhappy again.
"James, I'm telling you, it's going to be okay," said Sirius.
"Yeah, with a woman, you can never tell what's gonna happen next, they just like to keep you on yer toes," said Hagrid.
James and Sirius grinned at each other again. "Do you have a girlfriend, Hagrid?" James asked him.
"Ah no, it's what my ol' man used to say," he said.
"It's true, anything could happen," said Sirius, shrugging.
"That's right," said Hagrid.
"What were you saying about a warlock earlier?" asked Sirius, looking at James' expression.
"Oh yeah," said Hagrid, and he and James laughed. "Never gotta finish the story." So, he spent the next few hours recounting stories of funny people he had met at Hog's Head pub over the years and making them laugh.
Later, James and Sirius walked back to the castle in a good mood. "Peter's gonna love that story about that Italian chappie," said James.
"Yeah! Hallo, we are back," he announced, as they walked into the dorm. Remus glanced at them and sat up.
"And where have you two been?" asked Peter.
"Just at Hagrid's, he's been telling us the best stories!" said James.
"Oh yeah? Like what?" asked Peter.
"Okay, so this one time, Hagrid's at the Hog's head right, and he meets this Irish bloke who told him how he got accidentally kidnapped!"
"How does one get accidentally kidnapped?" asked Peter, grinning.
"The kidnappers mistook him for someone else!" said James, and Peter and Remus laughed.
Sirius decided he'd better change out of the tea-soaked robes before he caught a cold, so he took off his coat and shirt. And the whole time, Remus stared at him. After he was done, he walked over and sat beside Remus. "I saw that."
"What?" asked Remus nervously.
"You were staring at me while I changed," said Sirius.
"I was listening to James' story," said Remus, looking away.
"You were to!"
"Was not!"
Sirius laughed. "Were to!"
Remus decided to shut him up by kissing him.
"Mmm, I love it when you kiss me first, Moony," said Sirius. "You know what I would like to do to you?"
"What?"
Sirius said something so sinful that it made Remus blush, just hearing it.
"AAAARRGH!" screamed James, dropping the rock cakes that Hagrid had given them, shutting his ears. "Can't you two fucking use Muffliato or something?! Now I'll never recover!"
"Oh Godric, please tell me you didn't hear that!" said Remus, grimacing.
James looked like he was in genuine pain. "Glad I didn't hear it, then," said Peter.
"Prongs, you sneaky moose," said Sirius, chuckling. "Why were you listening to us instead of telling the story?"
"Yeah, why did you? Did you want to hear it?" Remus asked him teasingly.
"I'm a deer, not a moose!" said James indignantly, bending to pick up the rock cakes. The other three laughed.
"Oh no, the rock cakes have fallen to the filthy floor, you are going to have to throw them away now," said Sirius, grinning.
"Yeah, not even I'm gonna eat them," said Peter, shrugging.
"Look, I didn't mean to listen, alright! I thought you were talking about the story, so I listened! I'm not interested in experiencing your ever growing horn-"
Tap tap tap. There was a bedraggled, half-frozen owl at the window. "Khonsu!" exclaimed James and opened the window to let him in. "Oh no, look at him, his feathers are all frozen!"
"He's got a letter," said Sirius. James took the letter and read it, and they watched as his demeanour change rapidly as he read it.
"Prongs, what do they say?" asked Sirius, standing up. "James?" he asked, approaching him.
"Sirius," said James, his voice was charged with panic. "McGonagall," he said simply and ran out of the room. The other three glanced at each other and followed him. Everyone in the Common room watched curiously as they ran down the stairs and towards the Portrait hole.
Lily and her friends were in the corridor outside as the Marauders ran past. "What happened?" Lily asked loudly.
"We're going to see McGonagall," Remus told her, turning back.
"She's not in her office, she's in the Staff room, they're having a meeting!" she yelled after them.
"Okay, thanks!"
"Wow, I wonder what happened," said Mary.
"James had an owl in his hands, maybe it was some urgent news," said Alice.
"Hope it's not bad news," said Lily.
"Yeah," said Marlene.
They waited for at least one of them to return, and sure enough, Remus and Peter stepped through the Portrait hole. "Remus! Remus!" called Lily, waving at them and they walked over. "What happened? Is everything alright?"
"Professor McGonagall has just Sirius and James home," he told them.
"To the estate?" asked Marlene.
"Obviously, it couldn't have been Grimmauld Place, could it, Marlene?" said Peter sardonically, and Marlene frowned.
"What happened?" Lily asked.
Remus and Peter exchanged looks. "Um, there was an unavoidable, urgent family matter to be discussed," said Remus. "So, the professor let them use her fireplace to floo over."
"Remus, what exactly is going on?" asked Lily, and she watched Peter and Remus exchange glances again. "Please, I really want to know," she said.
James and Sirius stepped out of the fireplace and into a full-blown shouting match in the parlour. "Why can't you understand, Uncle? I am serious," yelled Albert, one of James' cousins.
"Bertie!" said James, astonished. Albert was usually the quiet one.
"And who the hell is that?!" asked Danielle, his other cousin, pointing at Sirius. Sirius gaped at her guiltily.
"That's just Sirius," said James crossly.
"Sirius?! Sirius Black, heir to the Black fortune?!" asked Albert, astonished.
Sirius bit his lower lip in tension. Shit, I've made it ten times worse. Why did I even come here?
"He's not the heir anymore, he's living with us now," said James.
"What do you mean, living with us?" demanded Albert.
"You proclaim that you're fighting against Voldemort, but you're housing a Black in your own home? What kind of nonsense is this?!" yelled Danielle.
"They'll come and murder you in your beds and take him away," said Albert dramatically.
"No, they won't!" said James loudly.
"I cannot believe you're friends with him, Jamesie!" said Albert.
"He's one of the good ones!" James told him.
"That's even worse!" said Danielle.
"Sirius' presence in this house is not relevant to the current discussion," said Monty firmly.
"Keep telling yourself that, Uncle," said Danielle savagely.
As the argument went on, Sirius pulled James aside and said, "I'm going back, James."
"No, you-"
"Please, James! I've already made it worse, I'll just go back to Hogwarts," said Sirius, scooping up some floo Powder from the tin.
"Okay, fine," said James. "Wait, Padfoot, I'm sorry."
"Don't, it's no one's fault," he replied, and James nodded.
Back at Hogwarts, everyone was looking curiously at Remus, waiting for him to explain. "Right," he said. "Well, the thing is, there was a meeting that happened at the Ministry with the Minister for Magic, Aurors and all the influential people around Britain. It was about Voldemort, and people's security, and stuff like that. James's dad attended it, and uh…"
He glanced at Peter. "Er… James' grandfather Henry, was one of the people who fought against Grindelwald, back in the day. He was very outspoken against dark wizards," Peter explained. "So, after the meeting, there were a lot of journalists waiting outside, and one of them asked Mr. Potter if he was going to be just like his dad and fight against Voldemort. So, he said 'yes'."
"Right," said Lily, nodding.
"I mean, in that situation, if you didn't say you're gonna fight, it basically means you're gonna back Voldemort-" said Peter.
"They're gonna fight anyway, Pete," said Remus. Then he turned to her. "So, he basically announced to the world that they're gonna fight against Voldemort."
"James' cousins are not thrilled," said Peter.
"Danielle and Albert, his cousins, they don't want to fight-"
"They're scared for their families-"
"Oh no," said Lily. "That's awful… understandable, but still really awful."
Remus and Peter nodded. "Well, we don't know what that letter said, but I guess James has gone to talk to them… I dunno, convince them, maybe?" said Peter.
"Yeah, probably," said Remus. "How could they do that, though?"
"Fear... It warps your thinking, I guess?" said Lily, giving Remus a significant look. He smiled at her.
"Yeah," said Mary and the others nodded.
James stood alone in the previously crowded parlour, breathing heavily. Danielle and Albert had left, and Monty and Mia had gone to walk them to the gates. He couldn't believe all the things they had said. They'd called his father reckless, and irresponsible, and thoughtless. They had said he didn't learn from grandfather's mistakes. They had ridiculed Mia for letting a Black stay at the house.
"That's literally like standing in front of a raging hippogriff and asking it to attack you," Danielle had said. And then they had left without even saying goodbye. But they did say they wanted nothing to do with them anymore.
"James?" said Monty, and James turned around. His parents walked over and hugged him.
Mia sighed. "At least we have each other, darling," she said.
"Yeah," said James miserably.
Then Monty looked around. "But where did Sirius go?" he asked.
"He went back to Hogwarts, he felt pretty bad," said James, smiling humourlessly.
"Oh no, the poor thing," said Mia.
"He was feeling guilty for making things worse for us," said James. Mia and Monty looked at each other. "He always says he's used to the prejudice, that it's no one's fault, but I know he feels awful," said James.
"Hmm, why don't you write to him? Tell him what happened. I'll go see what Jani is up to… have to tell her it's only us three for dinner now," she said awkwardly and and walked out of the room. Monty patted James' shoulder and followed his wife out of the room.
James walked over to the writing desk in the parlour, took out a piece of parchment and sat down to write. He would probably never see his nieces and nephews ever again.
The Potters were usually never quiet during dinnertime, there was always jokes and laughter, but today, it was as silent as a library at midnight. "Merlin, this sucks," said James out loud.
"I agree, this sucks," said Monty, nodding, and James chuckled.
"James, I suggest you go back to Hogwarts tomorrow," said Mia.
"What? Why?" asked James. "I still have holidays left, school starts next week."
"Yes, but I think it will be best for you," she said. "I'll write to Minerva, and she can give us a time of day to floo over."
"Okay, if you insist," said James.
Remus and Peter were also having dinner with the girls in the Great Hall. "I still cannot believe it!" said Mary, with her mouth full of sandwich. "You like James!"
Remus and Peter grinned at each other. "Yes, it was hard for me to accept as well," said Lily.
"Don't want to put a damper on everything, but are you sure, Lily?" said Alice, and the two Marauders glanced up at Lily.
"Yes, I'm sure. I like James," said Lily.
"Sirius?" said Marlene.
"No. James," said Remus.
"No, Sirius is back, look!" said Marlene, pointing.