Disclaimer: I do not own, nor did I create, any of the A-team characters (main or support) nor do I own, nor did I create, any of the episodes. That credit is due to Stephen J. Cannell and his associates. Any familiar catch phrases or settings also belong to the Cannell team.
Likewise, I do not own, nor did I create, any of the Dukes of Hazzard characters (main or support) nor do I own, nor did I create, any of the episodes. That credit is due to Gy Waldron and his associates. Any familiar catch phrases or settings also belong to the Waldron and team
Author's Notes: I came across a picture of a replica A-team van towing a replica General Lee and that started my brain thinking. What would happen if the A-team joined forces with the Duke Family to drop some justice onto a group of lowlife thugs?
Story Summary: The A-team meets some good ole boys, put away the bad guys, and twist The authorities into knots.
Chapter Summary: The A-Team meets with distractions and destruction in Hazzard County.
Hijinks in Hazzard: by LAGC
Chapter 1: Down in a Ditch
"Faceman where ARE we?" bellowed BA from the drivers seat as he drove down a rural highway. Hannibal turned and stared expectantly at Face. His Lieutenant was wrestling the map from Murdock's grip.
"Come on Buddy let me try." he pleaded and Murdock finally relented. One glance and a raised eyebrow later Faceman had solved the problem.
"Murdock, you were holding the map upside down." Face revealed in a sigh.
"Oh but I like it better that way. All the squiggly lines make prettier pictures when North is down and South is up." explained Murdock. Hannibal snickered.
"I'm gonna put your south end up top of your north end FOOL! Now we are lost thanks to your foolishness!" growled the Big Guy.
"Give me a minute BA I'll figure out where we are. We just saw a sign for Route 61 right. So ok in Murdock Land that would have been Route 19. Oh here we are. We are in Hazzard County."
"Hazzard County?! What state is that in!?"
Before Face could reply to BA, Hannibal hollered, "Look out BA that orange car is coming straight at us!'
Both the van and the speeding car swerved at the exact last moment. The car kept going but the van careened off the hard pack dirt road and down into a deep gully. The A-team was stuck. As Hannibal checked on the status of his troops they heard a police car race past, siren blaring., Luckily, the same ditch that had conquered them, also concealed them from the authorities.
BA was fuming as he and his unhurt comrades filed out of the van to check for damages. A headlight was shattered, a fender flare was shredded, but more alarmingly the front drivers side tire was torn off. BA vented his fury by kicking at a mud pile until it was a swirling dust cloud.
"Can you fix it Sergeant?" inquired Hannibal in his efficient command tone, waving his cigar.
"Of course I can fix it, Hannibal. But not here and not without the parts."
"Ok Face, you're up." chirped Hannibal, a challenge in his tone. Murdock, clutching the tool box, flashed a goading grin at his buddy.
Face opened his mouth to protest and complain but was quickly distracted by a vision of pure southern loveliness in a red tank top and curve hugging cutoffs at the top of the gully.
Seeing his blue eyes widen drastically the other men also directed their gazes upward.
"Nice." hummed Hannibal, "I can see why you lost your train of thought, Lieutenant."
Murdock was already making his way up the slope as the young woman called out, "Well hello Fellers. Looks like y'all could use some help."
"Oh she has no idea." whispered Face. Hannibal patted him on the shoulder and together they climbed up to the road. BA begrudgingly followed.
"Hi there! I'm Daisy Duke. My cousins Bo and Luke called me up on the radio after they ran you off the road. They're awful sorry. Since they couldn't stop cuz of ole Rosco and Cletus they sent me over to offer some neighborly help."
"Well Miss Duke. I'm Hannibal Smith. The man next to you is HM Murdock. This tongue tied sports coat wearing guy is Templeton Peck, and Mr Grouchy over there is BA Baracus."
Murdock tipped his hat, BA nodded, and Face finally unleashed his killer smile, then with an appreciative glance, shook Daisy's hand.
Daisy looked down at the van and noticed its crippled wheel. "Oh you guys are going to need a full tow truck. I'll get on the airwaves and call out Cooter. He'll be here in a jiffy." Before any of the men could utter a word, she reached into her jeep, grabbed her CB mike and sent out her call.
"Crazy Cooter will be out there faster than a bloodhound can find its tail." A manic, gravelly voice replied.
BA rolled his eyes dramatically. The idea of a person- calling himself Crazy Cooter-mixing it up with their own Captain of Looniness, did nothing to improve his mood or outlook.
True to his word the tow truck guy was there in under ten minutes. He and BA made short work of extracting the van from the ditch. Luckily it had landed with the front end facing upward toward the road. Once everything was secure and on the road, Cooter began to discuss where he should tow the van.
"I can take you back to my garage in town, but parking is a bit of an issue cuz both my bays are filled up with Rosco's and Enos's patrol cars."
"Oh Cooter, don't be silly. Bring them back to the farm. We at least owe them supper after what Bo and Luke did." Daisy directed.
The A-team shared relieved nods and Hannibal accepted Daisy's gracious offer. Face quickly called shotgun in the Jeep. BA opted to ride with Cooter to keep an eye on his beloved van. Hannibal and Murdock climbed into the Jeep's backseat. Face had the decency to cringe under Hannibal's withering glance as his commander climbed into the small rear bench.
On the ride over to the Duke farm. Daisy explained that she, as well as her cousins Bo and Luke, lived there with their Uncle Jesse. "I'm so sorry that y'all got caught in the crossfire between my Cousins and Sheriff Rosco. Locals 'round here are used to it and know to git outta the way as soon as they see the General. But you guys were caught off guard I'm sure."
"The General?" Face trepidatiously aske All three men were now worried about encountering Army brass.
"Yep, The General Lee, that's Bo and Luke's car." Daisy replied brightly.
"Oh we understand, Miss Duke." replied Hannibal with a subtle sigh of relief.
"Oh just call me Daisy. We're all friends now. I hope you men like fried chicken. That's what I was cooking up when the Boys sent me out to rescue you."
"That sounds delicious, Daisy." Face purred bestowing a dazzling grateful smile upon her. Murdock rolled his eyes in the backseat.
"Tell me Daisy might there be corn on the cob to go with that fried chicken." Murdock eagerly asked a bit of his Texan drawl escaping.
"There will be as soon as someone shucks it so I can boil it."
"Oh Faceman and I will be happy to do that for you. Won't we Face?""
"Uh, ya sure Murdock. Unless of course Daisy needs some help directly in the kitchen, then I'd be happy to help there instead."
"Oh I'm all set in the kitchen. The corn is a in a basket on the back porch you can have at it."
Five minutes later the small caravan pulled into the Duke's driveway. Free ranging chickens cackled and fled as Daisy and Cooter pulled up to the house. Cooter told her that he was going to deposit the van in the barn immediately. He had to turn down her dinner invite because he had orders from Boss Hogg to get the patrol cars fixed so his "two dipstick lawmen can get their sorry behinds back on patrol." Daisy laughed heartily at his spot on impression of Boss.
Uncle Jesse came ambling up from behind the house, a big smile on his bearded face and a shotgun held loosely in his right hand. The A-team automatically assembled around Hannibal at this sight. They quickly eased as they heard Jesse's warm greeting, "Now Daisy who are these here city slickers? Are these the fellers that Bo and Luke radioed about?'
"Yes sir, Uncle Jesse. Let me introduce Hannibal Smith, Templeton Peck, HM Murdock, and BA Baracus."
"Well Hello and welcome. Sorry my boys caused you some trouble. I'm Jesse Duke." The men all exchanged handshakes after Jesse passed his gun to Daisy.
Just then a familiar orange car pulled into the yard. Everyone turned to look (with varying ranges of welcome) at the arrivals. The Duke Boys shimmied out of the General Lee's windows and strode over to the assembled group.
Luke extended his hand and apologized, "Hi. I'm Luke and I sure am sorry that Bo and I caused you men to slide off Miller's Creek Road. Those ditches are deep." Hannibal shook it then Bo's hand.
"Yeah did the slide cause much damage to your van?" Bo asked.
"Yeah it cause enough. Busted a headlight, a fender, and torn my front wheel off. Tow truck guy left my van in your barn." rumbled BA as he accepted their handshakes.
Murdock had wandered over to the General, fascinated by how the Dukes had exited it. He tried the door handle to no avail.
"The doors are welded shut. It's a racing requirement. Luke and I plan on joining the race circuit just as soon as Uncle Jesse can spare us from the farm." Bo enthusiastically explained.
Bo and Luke went off to the barn with BA to assess the damages to the van. Daisy pointed out the basket of corn and Murdock bounced over to the task with a petulant Faceman in tow. Uncle Jesse took Hannibal on a tour of the homestead and gave him a condensed history of the Duke clan. Hannibal briefly explained that he and the guys had been a unit in Viet Nam and were now business partners.
Very soon Daisy, now wearing an endearing white sundress, called out from the porch to summon everyone in for supper. Face and Murdock were already at the table when the others piled into the house. Once everyone was seated Uncle Jesse said the blessing and requested a bit of extra forgiveness on his nephews for recklessly driving weary travelers off the road earlier that day. Hannibal smothered a snicker and the nephews in question winced sheepishly.
"Everyone dig in!" Jesse instructed after his hearty Amen.
And that's exactly what they all did. Everyone was truly enjoying the meal and relaxing in the warm hospitality of the Dukes. Then they heard a car rolling up to the house.
"That's Enos's patrol car. Cooter sure works fast. What's he doing here?" Daisy said just before Enos's knock rattled the screen door.
Hannibal flashed his "play it cool" look to all his men as Daisy allowed Enos into the kitchen.
"Well what can we do for you Enos?" asked Uncle Jesse while offering him a drumstick.
The deputy eagerly accepted the chicken and smiled bashfully.
"Sorry to bother you at supper Uncle Jesse but I ...well I was...was hoping to ask Daisy something."
"Well stop your stammering, son, and have out with it." instructed Jesse
"Um um, Daisy, um would you... um, like to do me the honor of being my, well going with me to...to the County Policeman Ball next Saturday night?"
"Why, Enos Straight, are you asking me out on a date, honey?" Daisy drawled flirtatiously.
'Well...yes...I guess I am...if thats ok?"
"Well it sure is Sugar. I'd be right happy to go with you to your ball. Pick me up at seven?"
"Gee Thanks Daisy. I sure will. Thanks again and this here chicken leg is delicious."
Enos stumbled backwards out the door. His gleeful boyish smile nearly reaching the brim of his deputy hat which he put back on as he exited.
The meal continued peacefully after Enos's departure. Everyone decided to have dessert out on the porch to enjoy the cool night air. Once the apple pie and ice cream had been devoured the Duke Boys and the A-team Boys headed into the house to help set up the extra beds needed to accommodate them. Jesse had insisted they stay at the farm until their van could be fixed. Jesse turned to Hannibal who was enjoying a post meal cigar.
"So Hannibal do you want to tell me why you all looked like long tail cats in a room full of rocking chairs when Deputy Straight showed up?"