Hawkeye was about to go back inside until he noticed something out of the corner of his eye...

"Did the bush just move?"

He sat down his script book and went over to the bush to investigate.

"Don't come any closer!" The bush said.

Hawkeye took a step back and looked around. He didn't want anyone to see him talking to... well, a bush.

"Klinger? Is that you?"

"I'm not Klinger... I'm a bush."

Hawkeye sighed, "Klinger, get out of the bush."

Two hands poked out of the bush and swept aside some branches. Clear as day Hawkeye could see his fashionable friend hiding within the shrubbery.

"Why are you still here? School let out fifteen minutes ago."

Hawkeye got a little closer to the bush and kneeled down. "I have rehearsal today, I'm taking a break out here before I have to go back onstage," he paused and gave Klinger a suspicious glare, "now why don't you tell me where you're still here? In a bush in the school parking lot for starters?"

Klinger peeked his head out to make sure no one else was watching, "get in the bush."

"Klinger, I'm not getting in the bush."

"C'mon, Hawkeye! Get in-"

"Klinger! I'm not getting in some random bush with you!"

"Get in the bush."

Hawkeye sighed in defeat, "Ughhh! Fine." He carefully avoided the twigs and branches as he scooted into the tight space.

"Okay, Klinger... why are we in a bush?"

"Listen, I walk home right?"

"Mhm. I remember you telling me that your uncle's attempt to 'get a car' didn't go so well when he got arrested for car theft."

"And you remember the new kid, Zelmo Zale?"


"Well, we haven't exactly gotten along since his arrival, and today he said he was gonna fight me after school!"

"So you're hiding out in a bush until you're sure he's gone?"


Hawkeye sighed and peeked his face outside the bush to make sure they were still alone. "Listen, I don't think anyone is outside but us, so I think you're safe."

"Phew! I can't stand sitting in the dirt... it's a good thing I'm wearing darks today!"

The two carefully climbed out of the bush and dusted off their clothes. "Man, that Zale really is a piece of work."

Klinger looked over to Hawkeye, "you got that right."

"You know he's got Radar doing all his homework!? He's a cheater, a liar, and a scoundrel, that Zale!"

"Took the words straight out of my mouth," Klinger said, nodding in agreement.

"What's his deal with you, anyway?"

"We always fight. I'm either spraying too much perfume or in his way. He always has something to complain about!"

Hawkeye glanced back at the door and saw one of the theatre kids motioning him to come back in from the window. "Listen, Klinger. You go home, I have to go back in."

"Alright, but don't be surprised if I'm not at school tomorrow. Zale will probably jump me on the way home," he said dramatically.

"That's not gonna happen. Besides, I'm gonna set things straight with him tomorrow."