Chapter 7: A Giant Epic Battle
(At Hyrule Castletown)
Ganondorf was destroying the place like in a Godzilla movie or Rampage game. All the Hylians were fleeing from the giant Ganondorf as he demolished the place. Meanwhile, Princess Zelda and Impa were watching from a castle window.
Impa- You're grace, we must get you out of here! If Ganondorf claims your Triforce of Wisdom…
Zelda- I can't just let Ganondorf do this to the Hylians, even if he's somehow turned into a giant!
Suddenly, the ground began to shake. When Zelda and Impa looked out the window again, they saw Ganondorf making his way to Castle Hyrule.
Ganondorf- Fe Fi Fo Fum! I smell the blood of the princess of the Hylians!
Zelda and Impa moved further inside as Ganondorf knocked down the wall, as well as part of the castle, with one swipe of his hand. Ganondorf looked at was part of Hyrule Castle was still standing and saw Impa pointing her giant knife at Ganondorf.
Ganondorf- Be real here, Impa.
Ganondorf took the giant knife and held it in his thumb and index finger.
Ganondorf- Your weapon is nothing but a thumb tack to me at this size.
Ganondorf then crushed the giant knife between his two fingers. But just as he was about to reach for Zelda and Impa, a large monkey's fist punched Ganondorf in the face from the right and knocked Ganondorf to the ground. Ganondorf got back up while rubbing his right cheek and saw Donkey Kong standing in front of him, only Donkey Kong was a 200-foot-tall giant too.
Ganondorf- What the?! What are you doing here?!
Donkey Kong- I'm here to huff, puff, and blow your house down!
Ganondorf looked at Donkey Kong with a bit of confusion. Princess Zelda and Impa were also a bit confused with what Donkey Kong had said.
Ganondorf- Uh…you might want to doublecheck your fairytale references there.
Donkey Kong- Huh? Fairytale?
Ganondorf- Haven't you or any of those monkeys on that damn island read Mother Goose?
Donkey Kong- Actually, I've never learned to read.
Ganondorf put his palm over his face.
Ganondorf- Typical from the biggest idiot of the Super Mario Brothers' Team!
Zelda- Uh…Donkey Kong…what's going on here? Why are you and Ganondorf turned into giants and where is Link?
Donkey Kong- Uh…it's kind of complicated. Ganondorf stole these five rare plants from Kongo Jungle to make a potion to become so big, but he left enough of that potion for someone else to drink. Unfortunately, Link injured his arm protecting Diddy Kong, so I drank it instead.
Ganondorf- Well, that explains why you've grown to my size. I knew I should've finished the whole thing, but it tasted like shit and I almost vomited the potion back out after one sip!
Donkey Kong- I know! I'm gonna need to eat at least a hundred bananas to get this taste out of my mouth!
Ganondorf- Too bad you'll never get to your bananas after I've taken your head!
Ganondorf throws his warlock punch, but Donkey Kong ducks. Then Donkey Kong reaches for something behind him. Ganondorf got a glimpse at what Donkey Kong was reaching for and thought he saw the handle of the Master Sword.
Ganondorf- The Master Sword?! There's no way the Master Sword would let a braindead monkey wield its power! Even if Link lent it to you!
Donkey Kong- I think you'll be in for a surprise then…
Then Donkey Kong pulled out a weapon that looked similar to the Master Sword, but was more of a sledgehammer than a sword. It had the same handle as the Master Sword and the symbol of the Triforce on it, but it took a more blunt form like a hammer. Donkey Kong swung it at Ganondorf and it knocked Ganondorf a few feet backwards. But Ganondorf felt as though he had been touched by the Master Sword when it hit him.
Ganondorf- What the…**** is this mockery…?!
Zelda- Donkey Kong…is that the Master Sword?
Donkey Kong- Yeah. Link lent it to me, but for some reason it changed form when my paw grabbed it. I'm not sure how that works really.
Zelda- It is said that the Master Sword has taken on many forms over the many years. I guess it changes shape and size to match the weapon the fighting style of the one currently wielding it.
Donkey Kong- Really, because my weapon is usually my fists. Anyway, you and Impa probably should get out of here. I might wreck what's left of this place fighting Ganondorf at the size we're at.
Zelda- I'm not leaving you to fight Ganondorf by yourself!
Impa- I'm not leaving either!
Donkey Kong- Fine, just try and stay out of the way if you can. I can't guarantee I won't Hyrule anymore than it already is.
Ganondorf created a black sword from his magic and swung it at Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong blocked with the Master Sword in its sledgehammer form and the ground began to shake all around. Ganondorf tried to use his warlock punch with his other hand, but Donkey Kong caught it with his free hand. Ganondorf tried to headbutt Donkey Kong, but all that did was leave a painful mark on Ganondorf's forehead while Donkey Kong was unphased.
Ganondorf- What's your head made of…rocks…
Donkey Kong swung the Master Sword in its sledgehammer form, but Ganondorf blocked with his black sword. However, Ganondorf noticed Donkey Kong left an opening and took that opportunity to hit Donkey Kong in the chest with a warlock punch. Donkey Kong was knocked to the ground and almost landed on what was left of Hyrule Castle. But before Ganondorf could attack Donkey Kong while he was down, a light arrow was shot from above and hit Ganondorf in the eye. Giant he might be, but the light arrows did just as much damage to him as they did in his regular sized form. Ganondorf looked up and saw Diddy Kong using his barrel jetpack to fly above him. Diddy Kong was carrying Link who was holding his bow in his good hand and the string in his teeth since one of his arms was still broken.
Ganondorf- Why you little…
Before Ganondorf could finish that thought, Donkey Kong got back up and knocked Ganondorf to the ground after hitting him in the face with his Monkey Punch.
Donkey Kong- That was for the cheap shot earlier!
Ganondorf threw another warlock punch and Donkey Kong countered with his Monkey Punch. After the two attacks collided, Ganondorf's body began to feel strange.
Ganondorf- What's happening…? My body isn't…feeling like it should be…
Suddenly, Ganondorf's arm shrunk in almost a cartoon fashion. Then one of Ganondorf's legs shrunk, then his head, and eventually, his whole body had returned to normal size. Ganondorf began falling to the ground, but Donkey Kong grabbed him by his cape with his thumb and index finger and held Ganondorf to his face.
Ganondorf- What the ****?! I'm back to my normal size?!
Ganondorf pulled out that scroll with the potion formula and began going through it again.
Ganondorf- What is this I missed at the end here…? "Drink entire potion or effects will only be temporary…"
When Ganondorf read that last part, he was completely dumbstruck.
Ganondorf- How ****ing stupid of me to not finish the whole thing!
Donkey Kong- Not as stupid as leaving enough for someone else to drink so they can be temporarily giant too. And since I took the potion after you did, it wore off on you first, leaving you at my mercy…
Ganondorf- Oh shit…
Then Donkey Kong tossed Ganondorf into the air like a baseball, swung the Master Sword in its sledgehammer form like a bat, and knocked Ganondorf right out of the ballpark.
Eventually, Ganondorf disappeared from view as Donkey Kong returned to his normal size. Donkey Kong pounded on his chest and howled like an ape to celebrate his victory.
(At the wreckage of Ganon's Tower)
A mysterious figure in a black cloak, a weasel dressed like an engineer, a kid who looked like a forest imp, and a lizard who looked a bit overweight, got the five rare plants out of Ganon's Tower.
Gooboo Steve- I'm surprised Ganondorf didn't use all the plants for that giant potion.
Mysterious figure- Actually, using up all the plants and destroying them for good the gods made forbidden, which is why they had to be hidden 1,000 years ago instead. Ganondorf knew that and only used a small chunk of each.
Skull Kid- Where should we hide them now?
Mysterious figure- Back on Kongo Jungle of course.
Snide- But wouldn't Ganondorf just find them again if we hide them back on Kongo Jungle?
Mysterious figure- He won't know we've returned them to Kongo Jungle. Besides, I doubt he'll want to return after what Donkey Kong just did to him. Besides, wouldn't be the first time they were hidden on Kongo Jungle.
(Flashback to Kongo Jungle 1,000 years ago)
A swordsman in a wolf's pelt was digging a hole and planting one of the five rare plants somewhere in the jungle. After he finished planting it, a man who looked like Mario, a gorilla who looked like Donkey Kong but was twice his size, and a genie girl who looked like Shantae approached the swordsman in the wolf's pelt from behind.
Genie who looked like Shantae- I have to say, Wolf, you might not be an actual wolf, but you sure can dig like one.
Swordsman in the wolf's pelt- At least I planted mine.
Man who looked like Mario- So did we.
Genie who looked like Shantae- I hid one of those plants by the volcano deep in the jungle.
Gorilla who looked like Donkey Kong- Genie hid plant by where Tiki's lock up?! King Kong no sure that good idea! Tiki's bad news for Kong's.
Genie who looked like Shantae- Actually, I think the volcano is a safe place to hide it. You and the other Kong's know not to go there because that's where the Tiki's are imprisoned, and who in their right mind would look for one of those plants by a volcano that could blow at any moment?
The swordsman in the wolf's pelt walked over to the man who looked like Mario.
Swordsman in the wolf's pelt- Hey Marco, you sure this is a good idea?
Man who looked like Mario- The gods forbid us to destroy them and…
Swordsman in the wolf's pelt- No! Not that! I mean leaving the plants with him. He's not exactly the brightest.
Man who looked like Mario- It was Kyrin's idea to hide these plants on Kongo Jungle. He's my best friend and I trust his judgement. If you're doubting Kongo Jungle is a safe place to hide these plants, maybe you ought to talk him instead of me.
Gorilla who looked like Donkey Kong- Magic sword man no worry. King Kong said he be hero like friends and King Kong accept responsibility like hero! King Kong make sure Demise no get plants again and make sure he no make potion again!
(End of flashback)
(At Hyrule Castletown)
Hyrule Castletown was already being rebuilt as well as Hyrule Castle. Aryll was fastening a sling for Link's injured arm and it looked like he had the Master Sword back on his back and in its normal form too.
Aryll- That should do for now.
Link- Don't you worry, Aryll. I'm sure my arm will be good as new by the season 4 finale.
Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, and Dixie Kong were eating a large pile of bananas Princess Zelda gave to them as payment for helping with the reconstruction of Hyrule Castletown and Hyrule Castle.
Dixie Kong- So you really were a giant? An even bigger giant than you already are? Wish we could have more of that, like when Tabuu next strikes.
Donkey Kong- Nah. I'm strong enough as I am. I don't see any need to change things up.
Diddy Kong- By the way, who's watching the Crystal Coconut while we're in Hyrule helping the Hylians rebuild their homes?
Dixie Kong- I asked Cranky and he didn't mind, because figured no one would bother him at your house.
Donkey Kong- Well, let's get back to work. Sooner we finish rebuilding Hyrule, the sooner we can all relax back on Kongo Jungle.
(At Donkey Kong's house)
Cranky Kong was cleaning up all the banana peels that had been left on the floor.
Cranky Kong- Damn that son of mine! Donkey Kong really needs to clean up after himself!
While Cranky continued cleaning up, the Crystal Coconut's case opened up and there was an image shown in its reflection.
Cranky Kong- Huh…? What's this?
Cranky Kong saw in the Crystal Coconut's reflection was Tabuu's mark. Then another version of Tabuu's mark appeared right next to Tabuu's mark, only this other version was sort of reversed. Then the image in the Crystal Coconut changed to Tabuu and a mysterious figure in a black cloak staring each other down.
Tabuu- I don't know how you've managed to avoid me for this long…but your little game of hide and seek is over!
Mysterious figure- I've never hidden from you! I've been fighting you this whole time!
Tabuu- It's been much too long since we last faced each other. But this time…I'll take more than just your arm!
Mysterious figure- We'll see about that…brother!
Then the Crystal Coconut's case closed and Cranky could no longer view the image.
Cranky Kong- What the hell was that?! Was the Crystal Coconut showing me something that will happen in the future? Bah! I'm getting too old for this shit!