.

.

.

Epilogue – Ameliorating

Eleutheromania (noun) The intense and irresistible desire for freedom


Somewhere in the English countryside, six months after the last trial of The Second Wizarding War

Sipping my hot tea, I moved my legs to set the porch swing in motion. Snuggling into my warm and cosy sweater, I enjoyed the last rays of sunshine in the early autumn reading the old diary of my mother. Looking around, I liked how the leaves had already started to change their colour, heaps of them littering the ground of my spacious garden.

I had set my plan into action. Moving away from London had been a great relief for me. I could escape the ever-watchful eye of the public and just mourn my losses in private. Even though I didn't need the nature around me to calm my non-existent magic anymore, it calmed my busy mind nonetheless. I was surrounded by hills and a huge forest stretched out at the back of my house. Although I was a thirty-minute drive from the next small village, my home was never lonely. I got visits a lot, so frequently that there were times when I wished for a bit more elusiveness. Especially Sirius was a regular visitor, stopping by at least every other day.

Taking another sip from my hot tea and burning my tongue once again, I decided that I needed to wait for it to cool down before I should drink it. Too lazy to get my butt of the swing, I angled my feet at the little table that stood next to the swing, stopping my swaying. Reaching as far as I could, I sat the cuppa on the edge of the table, pushing it in a stable position with the very tips of my fingers. Already in position, I put the small booklet from my mother on the ground, as I intended to just do nothing for a few moments. Grinning in satisfaction, I let myself fall back into the swing.

My therapist would be so proud at me. She had told me to try enjoying the Muggle way of doing things more. Reaching for things or putting them aside with as little movement as possible was my newest way to try so. Sirius had enthusiastically joined me, and we could be seen reaching for the remote for the telly with our legs, pushing tea cups with the fingertips to each other, or throwing the newspaper to turn the light off.

Right after the last trial, I had started my therapy with the lovely, old lady. Dr Forester was a born Squib and could associate with my situation. It was nice to talk about all my struggles and feel understanding at the same time. Even though I felt like I didn't need her acutely anymore, I enjoyed the talks with her.

One of our regular visited topic was the prophecy that had me as the subject. I still had some problems coming to terms with it and understanding the connection between something that someone said hundreds of years ago and what I did a few months earlier. It was frustrating, to be honest. All that chaos, just so I could transfer all my powers to Harry? Who, interestingly, wasn't more powerful now. But was the whole prophecy, my struggling to evade capture form Voldemort, work with Death Eaters and trying to sway the public option just important, so I could end up supporting Harry and losing a critical part of myself during that act? The simple but depressing answer seemed to be 'yes'.

Sighing deeply, I shook my head. Those thoughts were meant for my therapy sessions, not lazy afternoons in my garden. Stretching the kinks out of my body, I rotated my head one way and then another, trying to lose the tension in my neck. When I moved my head form left to right, I came face to face with a big owl that hooted right into my face, mere inches away from me.

"Fuck!" I cursed in surprise, leaping away from the offending owl.

My hectic movement made me lose my balance and I had to grab onto the close by table, making it sway dangerously. Almost as if in slow motion, I saw my overly filled tea cup wobble on top of the table, before gravity did its job and it slipped over the edge. Falling towards the ground I could already see the cup shatter on the ground, destroying the diary from my mother that I had read.

"No!" I gasped, reaching out to grab the cup, but I was not fast enough.

It turned out that I didn't need to be faster, as the cup halted in mid-air, the hot liquid floating around the cup like a weightless river. I stared at the cup, engrossed by its magical stop. Snapping my head up, I searched my garden and even the entrance of my little house for anyone that could have cause the almost accident to not happen. I found no one.

Looking back to the cup that was still floating in the air, I couldn't quite believe it.

"Huh", I made, sounding as dumb as I felt.

Without using another muscle, I pushed the diary with the tip of my toes out of the way of possible water-damage – Sirius would be proud of me – so I could experiment with the floating cup. Poking it, it swayed a bit in the air, but continued to hover.

Frowning I tried to feel into me but was unable to feel the well-known but oh so missed feeling of my magical core. Scrunching my face even more up, I realized that I felt something different. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the feeling, letting my focus travel from the cup more inward, almost as if I was looking in my own chest. Letting go entirely, I gave into the unfamiliar feeling and let it carry me away.

Visualising the feeling I got, I opened my imaginary eyes and looked at my mind for the first time in months. What I saw made me gasp in wonder. Unlike the colourful whirlwind that my magic had once been, I was gazing upon a huge lake that was surrounded by a dense coniferous forest. The lake was so enormous, that I was barely able to see the other side of the shore, only making out the tips of some trees. A gentle breath of air tousled my hair and I tucked the tresses behind my ears. The breeze was fresh and clean, bringing the smell of the rich forest with it. Stepping closer to the calm lake, the stony lakeshore crunched under my feet. When I was close enough that the tips of my feet almost touched the water, I realized that I couldn't see the bottom of the lake, not even were the water was supposed to be shallow. Lowering myself on my knees, I only hesitated a moment before I reached into the water, the cool, wet liquid moistening my hand.

Instantly I felt a mighty but serene wave of power crush over me. Taking a shuttering breath in, I let the power wash over me, realizing that it was my magic. Whatever had happened during the Battle of Hogsmeade, it had somehow transformed the colourful whirlwind of my magic to change into this all-compassing lake and forest scene.

No wonder I hadn't been able to feel my magic within me, as it felt totally different from before. How should I have grasped onto it, when I hadn't known what I was reaching for? It was unlike anything I've ever felt before. Dare I say, that it was even more powerful than ever, even though it was also more tranquil?

A hoot right next to my ear ripped me out of my own mind, away from the calm lake and back into reality. Opening my eyes, I gave the impatient owl a mean glare.

"Shut it", I told the bird, my voice still weak from my discovery.

Turning away, I looked at the still floating cup. Knowing what I had to look for now, I reached for the magnificent lake of magic within me, pulling a bit to send the cup floating. My jaw fell in surprise when all the leaves, the diary, and even the little end table joined the cup in its whirl around me, creating a chaotic landspout with me as the centre. Getting to my feet, I reached inside the whirlwind and touched the floating leaves, enjoying the feeling of the resonating magic. Letting my glance travel further way, my eyes grew large as saucer when I saw the wheelbarrow, my bike and even my car join the little tornado. The trees surrounding my house swayed dangerously in the wind as well. A joyous grin stretched over my lips and I broke into a heartfelt laughter.

Concentrating to bring everything safe back to the ground I was immensely satisfied when I had perfect control over my magic. Flicking my wrist this way, then another, I also realized that wandless magic was no challenge anymore.

"Wicked", I whispered, the huge grin still on my face.

An indignant hoot brought my attention to the annoying bird once more, but my mood was too good to be dampened by the impatient owl. Moving forward, I grabbed the letter from its leg and the owl flapped back into the sky, probably back to its master. Feeling the envelop, I already knew who had written to me. Lestrange. I opened it and frowned at the message.

'Why are you still hiding, Riga?'

Throwing the card on the ground, I stood in front of my garden swing for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts. What was I supposed to do now? I needed to tell someone about this, but whom? And if I told someone about it, what were they supposed to do. Did I need to see a healer? Maybe my therapist? What the fuck was someone supposed to do in a situation like this?

Slumping down in the garden swing again, I massaged my temple. Goldsnipe. Telling Goldsnipe was a great idea. Or maybe-

The roaring faint of my fireplace interrupted my thoughts. Whipping around, I faced my house, shocked at the bad timing. Whoever just entered my house would become victim to me blurting out the news without any warning. I was so bad at keeping something huge like that a secret.

"I know you're in that stupid swing of yours, Riga! And I won't let you spend another of your evenings all alone! I brought wine, and we're going to drink all the bottles I have with me!"

Huffing out a relieved laugh I shook my head. Yes, telling Goldsnipe was a great idea. Or maybe Sirius. Sirius, who had just invited himself over.

"Accio wine glasses", I murmured, jumping to my feet to rush towards Sirius hollering voice, hoping to catch the glasses on my way.


A/N: This is it! I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did! Thank you guys so much for the nice words so far and thank you so much for taking the time and reading this little fanfic of mine - It would mean the world to me if you would leave a short review about my story.

If you want to check out something else, I just posted another story: Spoils of a War. If you liked Old Blood, maybe Spoils of a War will be up your alley as well.

Thanks again!