Chapter 2

Lily didn't know how long she sat on the ground holding the lifeless form of her son in her arms. She couldn't stop replaying the events of the night in her mind. The loss of her husband and son in the span of just a few minutes and Voldemort's malicious glee over her eventual compliance with his order to step aside would haunt her for time to come. What could she have done differently? She couldn't think of anything that would have allowed her son to live. She rather wished she had held off Voldemort while James had taken Harry and ran. Then she would be dead, and James could have been the one to make the decision and live with the guilt.

She shook her head. No. That would have just resulted in all of them being dead. James would have charged at Voldemort and gotten killed in the process, similar to what he actually did. James was never the one to make the most rational decision.

When Sirius had proposed the change in who would be the secret keeper, Lily had opposed it. What did it matter if he was the most obvious choice of secret keeper? Even torture wouldn't be able to force the secret keeper to reveal the location of their home. Such was the nature of the Fidelius Charm.

Peter had always been a cowardly, pessimistic individual, and clearly he had been so to such an extent that he turned against his friends of many years in order to have some security provided in the event of Voldemort and his Death Eaters winning the war. It was basically Pascal's wager brought to life. And to think that Sirius had been suspicious of Remus.

They were played for fools by a traitorous rat. She should have stood her ground more firmly when James agreed to change secret keepers. In the very least, they should have ran that idea past Albus. Lily suspected he would have encouraged them to not change secret keepers. Sirius was loyal to a fault and would have died rather than betray them, and she knew it.

Had Lily died with everyone believing Sirius to still be the Potter family's secret keeper, then Sirius would likely be considered to have conspired in their murder. Considering how the war was going and how quick the aurors threw people into Azkaban with little to no investigation at this time, Sirius could very well have ended up in Azkaban convicted of a crime he didn't commit. In hindsight, the lack of foresight was devastating in ways she likely was only just beginning to realize.

Lily recalled what Voldemort had told her after he'd killed her son. He had revealed that the only reason he offered her mercy was because he wanted to provide a gift for a loyal follower of his. She knew who he'd been referring to: Severus. She knew he became a Death Eater after his time at Hogwarts, especially considering who he spent his time around during his later years at school. And it wasn't too difficult to determine that he'd been the one to overhear the prophecy about Harry and report it to Voldemort.

She never shared her suspicions with James. She didn't want him to lose focus.

Lily knew that Voldemort didn't just happen to think of what would be a fitting gift for one of his followers. The man didn't think like that. Severus had certainly begged him, and Voldemort clearly went along with it in order to cement a follower's loyalty and to amuse himself. That was it.

She would be damned though if she felt or showed any gratitude for Severus. James didn't get any offer of mercy, only her. If he thought he could get closer to her with James out of the picture, he was greatly mistaken. His feelings for her weren't something she reciprocated in the slightest. She would have been far more impressed if he'd requested James to be offered a chance to live too.