A Time to Heal

part 1 of 2

By: LvSammy

O.k. they are not mine, nor will they ever be ~Sigh~ yadda, yadda, yadda,.

So this is my first fic posted. I love The Sentinel and wrote this so long ago. I came across this and decided to share...again. I have my fics up on a website hosted by someone else but decided to post it here and see what you all think. Critics welcome but be kind.

This is set Season 3 and 4 on The Sentinel Too. Can Jim and Blair repair the relationship?

Ok I also promised myself I would not do a S2 story…..but it couldn't be helped. So here it is…..let me know what you think…

Jim stared at Alex as they carried her away. Jim felt his chest tighten.

That could be me… No, no, no…don't go there. Jim didn't want to think…. because if he let himself think…. he would have to acknowledge how badly he had treated Blair these past weeks. God the look of hurt on Blair's face when he said those damaging words. "I need a partner I can trust." Then he really twisted the knife in when Blair caught them kissing on the beach. Jesus! She pointed a gun at Blair. HIS GUN! And yet he did nothing. Worse still he pushed Blair further away. He looked over and saw Blair standing by Simon and Megan looking so lost. I need to talk to him. But not right now. I can't think straight. As he was staring at Blair, Blair looked up and blue eyes met blue eyes. Jim quickly looked away. Jim stood and walked towards one of the jeeps, missing the hurt look that crossed Sandburg's face.

God, thought Blair, he can't even look at me. Well I've got no one to blame but myself. Blair felt numb and empty inside. I've lost everything. My friend, my home…. everything that really mattered to him. All for what? All for my dissertation Blair thought with disgust. What good was it now?

"Blair are you o.k."


Blair looked up into the concerned eyes of Simon Banks. O.k. he thought no far from it. Actually he felt sick. He still hadn't recovered from drowning. He felt congested and hot. He felt miserable and so alone. But no one would know. Yea it was time to make a few changes in his life. He put on a forced smile and said….

"Yea Simon, I'm fine thanks man."

Simon didn't buy it.

"Yea, right. Well let's get back to the hotel. Everything here is wrapped up and we all could use some rest before we go home."

HOME! Blair felt his heart break yet again. What home? I don't have a home anymore.

A deep depression overcame him. He turned and noticed Jim in one of the jeeps already full with local officers. No room for me, in the jeep, in the loft, in Jim's life. The knife twisted a little more in Blair's heart. God it hurt so badly. But truth be told it was his own fault. Naomi always told him not to get too attached. Never stay in one place for too long. But it felt so good to come home to someone. To have such a good friend. A best friend. A place to call home. The last part of his heart shattered. Nothing mattered anymore. He climbed into the jeep next to Simon and Megan. Despair and depression weighing heavily on him. Yea…. definitely time to make some changes.

By the time they arrived at the hotel it was dark. Jim went to his room without saying a word to anyone. Megan and Simon looked from Jim's retreating back to the crushed look on Blair's face. Neither knew what to say. Little did they know that a plan had already formed in Blair's fevered brain.

"Blair." Simon started to say something but was cut off by Blair.

"Simon, I'm o.k."

He stopped at the look Simon gave him.

"O.k. so I'm not quite o.k. But I will be. I just need some rest."

Simon didn't like the way Blair looked.

"Go on Simon. Go get some rest. We all need some rest."

Simon squeezed Blair's shoulder.

"O.k. I'll see you in the morning."

Megan kissed Blair on the cheek.

"Hang in there Sandy."

Blair smiled tiredly at them as he watched them go. He waited until he was sure they were gone. Then he asked the clerk to cancel his room and get the next available flight back to Cascade. As luck would have it the next flight left in an hour. Things happened quickly then. Everything seemed like a blur. The next thing he knew he was sitting on a flight back to Cascade.

Jim, Simon and Megan stood together waiting at the front desk ready to check out. Then they would go for a quick bite to eat and off to the airport. Jim was getting impatient.

"Damn it! What is taking Sandburg so long?"

He paced back and forth a few more times.

"Calm down Jim. He might have overslept. I'll ask the clerk to ring his room."

Simon walked over to the counter.

"Excuse me could you please ring Mr. Sandburg's room and let him know that we are waiting for him."

Simon did not like the confused look that crossed the clerks face. He didn't think he really wanted to know.

"Ummm…. Is there a problem?" Simon asked.

" I'm sorry senior. Senior Sandburg checked out last night and took the first flight back to cascade."

Three dumbfounded people looked back at him.

"Are you sure it was Senior Sandburg?" Asked Jim.

"Si Senor. I booked the flight myself."

If Jim felt anything he didn't show it. Well what did you expect, Ellison?

God he was an ass. He should have said something to Blair. All of a sudden Megan spoke up.

"I don't know about anyone else…..but I'm not so hungry anymore."

They all agreed to go directly to the airport. It was going to be a long flight.

Blair stood in the middle of his office. He didn't feel safe here anymore. His last memory of his office was of Alex pointing a gun at him. He remembered the fear as he walked towards that fountain. Images of him desperately trying to breathe and only sucking in water slammed into him.

"Damn it calm down…..you so don't need a panic attack now." He whispered to himself. He felt so incredibly alone now. He sat at his desk put his head in his hands and cried. He cried for the loss of his home, the loss of his life, but most of all for the loss of his friendship. The best thing that ever happened to him was gone. He cried for a long time. Finally he pulled himself together. He had so much to do this morning. He reached into his backpack to pull out a fresh change of clothes and two prescriptions fell out on to his desk. The meds he got when he left the hospital. He left promising the doctors he would take the medication. With everything that went on he simply forgot. He really didn't feel well. His chest hurt. He felt congested…..he knew he had a fever. So tired and so much to do. He was about the throw them away but stopped. As much as he hated taking prescriptions…he just might need them. He quickly stuffed them in his jacket pocket. He changed and cleaned himself up. He looked up 9:30! Where had the time gone? O.k. O.k. Time to start making those changes, he made his way to chancellor's office and knocked.

"Come in."

"Hi Chancellor Edwards. You got a minute.?"

"Mr. Sandburg how nice of you to show up."

Blair winced at the sarcasm in her voice.

"Actually Mr. Sandburg, I wanted to meet with you. You saved me a phone call."

"Ummm. About what?" Blair had a feeling he wasn't going to like this.

"About your little trip to Mexico. I understand you were recently hospitalized. I know you were attacked in your office. I'm glad to see that you're o.k. I also understand that you have been through quite a lot Mr. Sandburg. But you can not go and come as you wish. Do you realize you have an incredible amount of absences! I think it's time for you to make a decision. You either want to be a cop….or a teacher. The University can not tolerate this behavior anymore."

Anger flared to life in Blair.

"You have no right to force me to make that decision. I have spent years of my life devoted to Rainer."

"Blair you have yet to submit a part or even a rough draft of you dissertation."

"umm. Actually that is what I wanted to talk to you about." Blair said softly.

Edwards glanced up and sighed. "What exactly about your dissertation ?"

"Well I was wondering if I could change the topic." He saw the chancellors frown. "Since I couldn't find a test subject." He quickly blurted out.

"Mr. Sandburg changing your dissertation topic now is really not recommended. Please tell me you have something to hand in."

"Well no I don't. But it wouldn't take me long to type up something….a day or two…" He was cut off.

"Mr. Sandburg…look I do feel for you. I know you've been through a lot but that does not excuse your behavior. You are attacked in your office and land in the hospital. Once out of the hospital you drop everything run off to Mexico. Now you want to change the topic of your dissertation yet you have nothing to hand in. You have resonsablities to this University that are not being met. Mr. Sandburg you leave me no choice but to suspend you until I've met with the dissertation committee."

Blair was stunned. SUSPENDED!

"But Chancellor Edwards…."

"Was there something else Mr. Sandburg?"

Blair stared at her disbelievingly.

"No." he said weakly. He turned and left. It was not suppose to happen this way. He made his way back to his office. What would he do now? Everything was gone now. EVERYTHING! HOME, FRIEND, JOB. All gone! Where would he go? His trip to Mexico just about tapped him out. He hardly had enough for a hotel room. He picked up his backpack and one of the bottles of medication fell out of his pocket. He picked it up. Jim should have never brought me back he thought sadly. Yea one more change to make. He pocketed the bottle once again. He gathered up all his Sentinel research and boxed it. Then he wrote a letter to Jim.

Dear Jim,

Hi. I hope you are doing o.k. I put something together for you. This is something I wanted you to have. I won't need it anymore. I've put together all my sentinel research. You are going to have find a new guide to ride with. This should help. Simon can help you find someone you can trust. Megan has found out about your sentinel abilities. She would make a good guide for you. She'll find everything she needs in the research. It's time for me to move on. It's been great Jim, the time I've spent with you. I wouldn't change any of it…..well maybe the drowning part. But being your partner was the best thing in my life and it's something I will truly miss. Well there's nothing left holding me here anymore, so time to move on. I'll cherish the time I had with you. You'll always have a place in my heart. I never had a best friend before and for that I thank you. I hope you get everything you want out of life. Hey no hard feelings huh? I'm leaving this life….

If I left anything behind in the loft just sell it or throw it away.

Detaching with love,


Blair placed the letter on top of the contents in the box and sealed it. He addressed it to Jim. He'd use the last of his money to send the package courier so it would get there today and the rest of what was left of his meager cash to gas up the Volvo. Blair gathered his back pack and picked up the box. He took one last look around his office. His eyes filled with unshed tears and he quietly shut the door.