7Back in August, I asked y'all if I should rewrite this story and some of you said yes! This is coming much later than I anticipated, but that's life, isn't it? I am changing some details from the original story to something that makes more sense to me now, but I am going to leave the original up on my profile so you can always go check that out (if you want spoilers, I suppose). So without further ado, here's the revamped Secret Past!
I do not own Lemonade Mouth.
OLIVIA.
The rain fell gently against the window beside my bed, and subconsciously, I matched the beat of the rainfall with the tapping of my pencil against the small notebook resting in my lap. It was a dull October afternoon and I was doing what one does best on a rainy day – staying in bed, letting my mind wander with lyrics and ideas. I've been writing songs for as long as I can remember, but nothing seriously until my mom passed away. I was in the 6th grade when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and in less than a year she was gone. Writing songs became my escape from the reality of living without a mother, and living with a father who became increasingly dependent on drugs to cope with the loss of his wife. His dependency became so bad that by the time I was a freshman, he had been busted on felony drug charges and sentenced to 10 years in prison. As if high school wasn't about to be hard enough, now I had to tackle it without my only surviving parent. I thank God every day for my Grams. She took me in as soon as Dad started falling of the wagon and never looked back.
I stared down at the paper in my lap, a jumbled mess of words scribbled across its' lines. With a frustrated sigh, I tore the paper out of the notebook, crumpled it into a ball and tossed it in the direction of the small trashcan next to my door. Unfortunately for me, my aim is less than decent, and I missed the trashcan by several inches. I stared at the paper on the floor for a moment, internally debating on leaving it on the floor, but my overwhelming need for a clean space took over and I rose from my bed to throw away the paper. I knelt down to grab the paper and heard the floor creak near my door. My body tensed and my breath caught in my throat. Grams wasn't home right now, and wasn't supposed to be home for a few more hours – she was out to lunch and a movie with a friend. It's a creaky house, yes, but I know every creak in this house and the different sounds it makes when it's just settling versus when someone's weight causes a shift in the floor. I quickly jerked my head up to see what caused the creak, heart pounding in my chest.
A familiar carrot top with a goofy smile met my eyes and I let out the breath I had been holding in. "Jesus, Wen! You can't just sneak up on a girl like that!" Grabbing the crumbled paper, I stood up and tossed it in the trashcan, folding my arms across my chest. "What are you doing here? How did you even get in?"
Wen took a step inside my room, "Well, for starters, I texted you at least 17 times about me coming over. Stella suggested we work on the music for the new song you wrote. And you were the one who told me about the key in the plant next to the front door." He brushed past me and sat on the edge of my bed, shrugging as he mentioned the key. I completely forgot that I had told him where we hid the spare key.
"Right," I started, turning my body towards him, rubbing my hand over my face, remembering back to earlier in the week making plans with Wen to work on new music today. "I'm sorry, Wen. I completely forgot about today and I've just been so spaced out to even think of checking my phone." I gestured to my IPhone still resting on my nightstand, plugged into its charger.
Wen chuckled lightly, "It's all good, Liv. Sorry I scared you so bad." He took in the surroundings of my room before taking notice of the notebook still resting on my bed next to where he sat. "Are these your songs?" He asked, excitedly grabbing the book and flipping to the front of the book, eyes beginning to scan over the words written. I sprang forward, grabbing the book out of his hands and closing it.
"Yes, it's my song book. And it's still private." I huffed, sitting next to him, clutching the book to my chest.
"Olivia, you are so talented, why can't I see what you've written? Maybe we can use them for the band! I am here to work on new music with you after all, right?" I turned to him, his green eyes sparkled with hope, a smile tugged on the corner of his mouth and I couldn't help but get lost in counting the freckles that dusted his cheeks.
"What? Don't tell me there's something in my nose." Wen brought his hand up to cover his nose, snapping me out of staring at him. I jumped up in embarrassment, taking a few steps away from him, putting my book on the bookshelf across from my bed.
"No! Wen, you're fine," I laughed nervously, "I just… uh… got lost thinking, is all." I leaned against the bookshelf, bringing my hand up to play with my hair.
"Thoughts about what?" Wen leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, a smirk on his lips, enticing me to share. My head spun trying to come up with an excuse instead of telling him the truth – which was that I was completely and utterly attracted to him.
I opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted by the ringing of my phone. Saved by the phone. God bless. I made my way over to my phone, watching "Gram" light up on the screen. Picking up my phone, I looked at Wen. "It's my Grandma. Give me one sec." He nodded and I answered the call, bringing the phone up to my ear. "Hi Gram! Everything okay?"
My Gram's small voice came from the other end of the phone "Yes, sweetheart, everything is okay. But I just received a call from Eric." My heart leapt in my chest and I walked out of my room. Eric was a friend of my Mom's – he was a lawyer. Wen and the band knew that my father was in prison, but I still wasn't comfortable with Wen hearing this conversation.
"Is everything okay with Dad?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm.
"The call wasn't about your father, Olivia…" her voice trailed off and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Well if it wasn't about dad, then who was it –"I stopped mid-sentence, realization washing over me. "It wasn't about…" Dread filled my gut, the sudden urge to vomit gagging me.
"I am so sorry, Olivia. They released him a week ago. Eric just found out and immediately called me to tell you." Her voice was weak, defeated. "I'm on my way home, honey."
"There's nothing you can do for me here, Gram. Please just enjoy your afternoon. Wen is here – I'll be fine." I managed to choke out, surprised at myself that I could even form words.
"Okay, Livvy. I'll be home in a few hours. Lock the doors, and I love you."
"I will. I love you too Gram." Tears welled in my eyes as I ended the call and let the phone slip from my fingers and fall to the floor, landing on the wood with a thud. My throat ached and my stomach was in knots, but my feet would not will me to move. My legs would not allow me to collapse. All I could do was stand with tears spilling down my cheeks, back against the wall, hands by my sides. Wen rushed out of my room and then was standing in front of me, eyes wide.
"Olivia, what happened? I heard you drop your phone…" He knelt down, picking up my phone, examining it for any cracks. "Thankfully you didn't break it." His eyes met my blank ones and he cocked his head in concern. "Olivia? What's going on? What did your grandma say?" I was looking at his eyes but not really seeing them. Seconds ticked by that felt like minutes and Wen put his hand on my arm, snapping me back into reality. I blinked hard, looking back into his eyes and finally feeling my legs give out on me. I let myself slide down the wall I was leaning on, my arms wrapping around myself in a cocoon. Wen followed me down, sitting across from me, eyes still wide and full of concern. He reached for my arms but stopped himself short, scanning my face.
My breathing was rapid and I felt like I was going to hyperventilate but I couldn't care. I hugged my arms tighter around myself and let sobs slip past my lips, eyes darting around the room. My stomach was doing flips and I could taste the bile rising in the back of my throat. I shut my eyes tightly, shaking my head no, more tears running down my face. I felt a presence next to me and then an arm around me, suddenly I was pulled against Wen's warm frame. I wanted to resist, I didn't want to be touched right now. But I didn't have the strength to push against him. Maybe I needed this. Maybe I needed to be held and be safe in someone else's arms for once instead of my own. I unfolded my arms from around myself and allowed my body to lean into Wen's embrace. His arm around my shoulders pulled tighter, my head falling to his shoulder. He leaned his head against mine.
"We can sit here in silence if you want… but, Olivia, you're starting to scare me." Wen mumbled against my hair, running his hand up and down my arm. I took as deep of a breath as I could muster and nodded once, sitting up. Wen's arm fell from my shoulders as I moved, but he immediately grabbed my hand and rotated his body so he was facing me directly again. I looked down at his hand holding mine and felt an ounce safer than I did a few minutes ago. I didn't want to tell Wen, but I knew I needed someone right now. And even though what I was about to tell him was something that barely anyone else knows, I trusted Wen. I trusted him not to think of me differently, and not to leave because of this. I used the back of my hand to brush away the drying tears on my cheeks and swallowed hard. Still unable to meet his eyes, I opened my mouth to speak.
"My grandma called me to tell me that," I sighed. "I don't even know how to say this." I hung my head, hating this feeling of overwhelming hopelessness and defeat. "A few years ago, there was this guy. And some stuff happened and he went to jail and he was supposed to be away for a long time but he's not anymore… he's out." I looked up to Wen's confused face.
"That's… vague." He remarked, reaching over to grab my other hand. "Olivia, why was he in jail? Who is this guy?" He was so calm, so warm, and so safe. I felt myself drawn to him and before I could even stop myself, the words were tumbling from my lips.
"His name is Thomas. We met the summer before freshman year and I really liked him. I thought he liked me too. It was great at first, so we spent a few months together and then things weren't so great anymore. He would get really angry with me and yell and throw things and make these threats that I didn't know were threats at the time. I wanted to leave him, but I was afraid of what he would do. He always wanted to be… physical with me and I didn't want that. One day he took it too far and I told him no and he really didn't like being told no. So, he hit me." I stopped, taking another deep breath and searching for the words I wanted to say. Wen's thumb ran over the back of my hands, keeping me grounded. "And when he hit me, I told him that we were done. That I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. And that's what made him snap. He threw me around like I was nothing. He hit me and he kicked me and he screamed at me…" I closed my eyes tightly. "He took what he wanted in the first place. He held me down and covered my mouth and took a piece of me. I stopped fighting him and prayed it would end and that would be the end of it. But I was wrong. He told me that if I told anyone what happened, that he would kill me. And to drive his threat home, he gave me a scar as a promise of that." I opened my eyes, staring down at my clenched fists in Wen's hands, refusing to meet his eyes. "And I told. I was so scared that he would really hurt me or someone else but I knew I needed to tell. So I did. And he went to jail. He was supposed to serve 5 years for what he did to me, but he's out after 3. And that's what my Grandma called to tell me." My voice trailed off, meek and scared. Wen's hands slipped out of mine and I instantly regretted telling him anything. How could I be so dumb to think telling him wouldn't change anything? I felt so small in an instant. I lifted my eyes to meet his and immediately looked away seeing the hurt on his face. I wrapped my arms around myself again and felt the tears burning my eyes.
Then Wen cleared his throat, his voice still coming out broken. "Come here."
I looked up at him again, and he had his arms open. Hesitantly, I leaned forward and instantly Wen was meeting me halfway, kneeling to envelop me in a bone crushing hug. I wrapped my arms around him, letting myself cry again. His face was in my hair, and I could almost feel him scrunch his face. "I'm so sorry, Olivia." He kept repeating it quietly for a few moments as we sat in this embrace. I held him like he was the only thing keeping me here on the ground. He held me just as tightly. Finally, Wen pulled back slightly, moving his hands from my shoulders to either side of my face. His eyes were red, and his jaw was clenched. "Nothing is going to happen to you as long as I'm here. No one can hurt you again, okay?" His eyes darted between mine in desperation. I nodded and swallowed the burning in my throat from crying. My nod seemed to be enough for him as he crushed my body against his again, one hand tangled in my hair holding my head to his chest, the other around my shoulders.
And there we sat for what felt like hours.
In reality, it was only a few minutes until a series of vibrations between us made us pull apart. Wen sheepishly reached into the pocket of his hoodie and produced his ringing cellphone. We both looked at the screen - Stella. Wen answered the phone and put it on speaker so we could both hear her on the other end.
"Hey! Did you make it to Olivia's?" She asked quickly, not even waiting for a response on our end. "I'm sure you did - great! Well we're having a band meeting at my place in an hour. Okay? See you then!" And just as quickly as the call had come, the call was ended. Wen and I both stared at the phone for a second and then back to each other. Calls like that from Stella were more frequent than actual conversations with her. Wen cleared his throat and slowly stood up, reaching out his hand to help me up as well. He scratched the back of his neck and I began playing with my hair - neither of us knowing just what to say.
"Wen-"
"Olivia-"
We both started at the same time, laughing slightly before Wen spoke. "Thank you for telling me that. I am so, so sorry you had to go through that and that... that piece of shit is out there in the world." He reached for my hands again. "But I meant what I said. I won't let anything happen to you. He can't touch you again. He can't come near you again. If it means I never leave your side until you feel safe again, so be it." He paused, "God, Liv, I had no idea." He trailed off and I finally spoke up again.
"No one knows, Wen. And you can't tell anyone else." My voice was urgent but firm. Wen nodded in understanding and I trusted that he wouldn't share something that wasn't his to share. "No one really noticed when the loner girl didn't come to school for a month. Or when I would be gone for a week at a time after that." I shrugged. "But, can we not talk about this anymore? I appreciate everything you've said, Wen, I just really can't handle any more right now." I looked down at my feet.
"Absolutely. Tell you what, we have that meeting in an hour. How about I buy you a smoothie and we make our way to Stella's?"
For the first time, I genuinely smiled and nodded. "A smoothie sounds amazing right about now." I laughed a bit, letting go of Wen's hands and wiping my eyes with the back of my hand again. "Let me just go get cleaned up a bit." Wen nodded and I walked down the hallway and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I turned to face myself in the mirror and shook my head at the reflection back at me. Red, swollen eyes, puffy lips, tear tracks down my cheeks, hair all a mess. I grabbed my hairbrush sitting on my sink and ran it through my tangled hair a few times, smoothing it. I put the brush down and turned on the hot water, waiting a moment before collecting it in my hands and splashing my face with it a few times. I dried my face and hands with a towel, turned the sink off and braced my hands against the sink and faced my reflection again.
"You were strong then and you are strong now. He won't come back. You will be fine. Remember who you are, Olivia. Remember what you're capable of." I spoke to myself clearly, but softly. I didn't want to risk Wen hearing me and thinking that I'm a freak as well as a victim. I sighed at myself, taking one last look in the mirror and stepping out of the bathroom, ready to tackle whatever else the day had to offer me.
Not a huge fan of how I ended this, but I really wanted to make sure that I was posting this tonight (it's 1:30AM here in Cleveland lol) Stay tuned for more drama, more angst, more awkward, more romance. Hope you enjoyed! Bad or good, please don't forget to review! Having feedback from y'all really helps me stay motivated to keep wrting. :)