15You're looking at her, across empty spaces and rooms full of people. Like you always have, as you always will. And you're wondering about the how's and why's and what if's. You think a princess and a guy like me? But you think so, too. Somewhere along the way, at a point you barely noticed. Your heart beating to the sound of her name and your breaths taking form just for her sake. And yet you see her there, clothed in white competence, silver strength, the chestnut colour of her hair the beacon you didn't know was calling for you, the hue of her skin what your fingertips longed to touch, braced in a distant togetherness, here but separate all at once. You're wondering… is this where it all ends? Is this the starting point of new significance? She moves in the room as if in a place she's always belonged in. Her gestures driving home the meaning of her thoughts. The light in her eyes the carriage of all the hope that will move this rebellion forward. And still, you're wondering…
You are looking at her without noticing, your eyes taking a life of their own. They follow her around, track her steps, register all that she is. Her slender form the vessel of her strong beliefs. You are looking at her without noticing until you notice she's looking right back. Brown meets hazel, charged and so forever altered. And where you wondered before, it has now become perfectly clear.
A princess and a guy like me…
"Captain?" she asks. The prodding of words you never heard when you were occupied with other thoughts.
And you think, it's so easy to lose track of a now that could be so much more than it is. You dream the future into your present and it all unfolds before you. The laughter when it didn't seem possible. The soft caresses that proved the depth of your hearts. The evenings, the mornings, the in-betweens. You see hands becoming acquainted with the utter solidity of your feelings and the soft fluttering of your love getting to know two bodies merged into one, time and time again.
"Cargo?," you reply. Because a part of you is still here, with her. Always.
"Crew of three, no baggage. Nothing new," is all she says. And if only she knew.
You want. This is what it comes down to.
You turn inquisitive eyes to your steady companion and you find him already there, gaze steady, waiting until you take the leap to your own self-awareness. His eyes are the question you've already answered, his blue crystal clear and pure and all the confirmation you needed.
Your lips lift rightfully, easily, on purpose. You move towards your gravitation point, the sigh of clothing the only affirmation of your shift and it feels like forever has passed in the blink of this half second.
"What's in it for me, Princess?" You ask with barely a thought, for what if you strayed, what if you unravelled, what if she saw. Isn't this the dance you've both perfected? Isn't this the steady occasion of your fragile partnership? You prod, she expands, you start-over, one-two-three, one-two-three. The longest distance you've ever held her is measured in the longing of your words. The only space she will allow the one that her sentences provide. And so you ask because this is the anchor of all that is familiar. And as such she responds because she is weak in her strong heart and she yearns for things half-formed and yet surely there.
Her eyes lift, the swiftest motion, your quickest surrender.
"What is it you want, Captain?"
Note: This ficlet was born out of mild curiosity, definite probing and complete and total love for this far away galaxy. As something created on a whim I am not sure where it'll go from here and how much it'll grow. Still, it wouldn't have been as it is and, in all honesty, I wouldn't have had the guts to post it, if it weren't for KR and Scruffy and all their gentle guidance and ALL -like, A L L - the pep-talks. You are invaluable, irreplaceable and I adore you!