AN: Please give me prompts. I like prompts. I like writing prompts. I love hearing whatever you want me to do with these guys. I want to reach 285 rules at least. I would appreciate it if you guys could help.

I have reconsidered my stance on the thirty-nine rules per chapter thing because I'm frustrated.

Enjoy.


Quicker than a transport, Alexi and the Admiral were back in HQ reading the Rules, as if their vacation to Fiji had never happened. (Had it?)

Rule 195: STOP SHOUTING!

"That was written in all caps. I feel like they're trying to make a point about this."

Rule 196: Randomly quoting people for no reason is not funny, it's annoying.

"They do that on DS9 too?"

"I grr at them. Grrrr…"

Rule 197: Planning baseball session in Ops is not allowed.

"When did this happen?"

"Fuck if I know."

Rule 198: No blowing up your own shop.
Rule 198,1: It only happened once.
Rule 198,2: Once was one time too many.

"Gotta agree with the original author."

Rule 199: Fuck entitled parents. Please, give them a cactus to shove up their *sses - it might dislodge the sticks buried so far up there, you can see them when they yawn. Please?

"They're the worst."

Rule 200: Entitled kids are the extra-worst. They're just like entitled parents, but... more high-pitched?

Rule 201: Being barefooted outside of your quarters is not recommended.
Rule 201,1: Climbing on the ceiling outside of your quarters is not recommended, either.

Rule 202: If you have to ask, it's not allowed.

Rule 203: When I say 'dismissed', get the fuck out of my office.

"Good to know some things never change."

Rule 204: NO CAPES!

The Admiral covered his ears. "LALALALALALALA, NO REFERENCES NO REFERENCES!"

Rule 205: Hey, dipsh*ts! Chocolate makes Vulcans drunk, okay? Stop giving them f*cking chocolate!
Rule 205,1: Wow. Who started giving the Vulcans chocolate?
Rule 205,2: A BUNCH OF DIPSH*ITTERING MOTHERF*CKERS!

Rule 206: What did we say about the cursing?
Rule 206: F*CK THE RULES!

Rule 207: No, you cannot put your cats down as your emergency contacts.

Rule 208: To all the engineers: upgrading your tools is not allowed.
Rule 208,1: I still have nightmares about last time.

"Are we-"

"No, we are not investigating whatever happened."

Rule 209: Remember the time a demon was let out of its prison because someone knocked over a fruit bowl? Because I sure do!
Rule 209,1: You and I remember that day very differently.

Rule 210: Miles O'Brien is not allowed to refer to his staff as his 'idiot babies'.
Rule 210,1: -
Rule 210,2: -
Rule 210,3: -
Rule 210,4: NO, WE DON'T F*CKING CARE ABOUT THE PAINTBALL INCIDENT!

"Well, that escalated quickly."

Rule 211: A reminder for all you stupid mortals that the Qs have been messing up the order of the list. Because we can.
Rule 211,1: Father, can I put a :p here?
Rule 211,2: No, son. Put a :) here.

"The Qs know emoticons."

"Fuck. The Q know emoticons."

"Should we sound the alarm?"

"Why would we? They just know emoticons. It's not a big deal."

"O~h. Right."

Rule 212: Unfriendly reminder that station-wide paintball is not only discouraged, but illegal among the engineering staff.

"Illegal?"

"Oh, right. Didn't we receive a budget analysis for that a few years back?"

"That was them?"

"Yup."

Rule 213: Pockets on clothing is now required, no exceptions, f*ck everyone not letting me have pockets.

Rule 214: I can never know when my death is going to come, so I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Rule 215: If a warrant specifies 'alive', they didn't specify 'unharmed'. Go the the knees.

Rule 216: Consider the wildflowers.

Rule 217: Do not antagonize the filing ensigns for doing their jobs in an unorthodox manner, because that would make you the biggest hypocrites that ever hypocrited.
Rule 217,1: -
Rule 217,2: -
Rule 217,3: No dumping paint on the paperwork geniuses. It's disgusting, don't do it.