40Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series.
Author's Note: A very special thank you to author Puhinkam for translating this work into Polish! If you would like to read her translation, it is on my favorite stories list and her profile is on my favorite author list.
Dear —D-i-a-r-y — ...Journal,
I'd like to start by saying that I am usually a very nice, calm, and decent person, Lily aggressively scratched into her notebook.
Professor Flitwick was at the front of the classroom talking about who-knows-what, some charm or the other, and Lily… well, Lily was trying to take notes on that charm, but she couldn't stop her mind wandering away to a certain raven haired boy with the smirk of the devil. And the personality of the devil too.
Knowing there was no way she would be able to concentrate in class with all her pent up emotions, Lily took out her special journal. A book of her secret thoughts she used to call diary until she grew up and came to Hogwarts. Only childish babies wrote in diaries and Lily was not a childish baby, despite whatever Petunia might say. So no, she was never writing in a diary. She was a journal girl, no... woman, through and through.
Lily dipped her quill into the ink and began to ferociously scribble all her inner thoughts:
I swear! Everyone says I'm level-headed and a joy to be around. Except when I'm around…James Potter.
I shudder even when I write his name.
He is the absolute worst. Worst I tell you!
To add emphasis, Lily doodled a quick little sketch of James with devil horns and fangs.
I've only been at Hogwarts for a few months and that crazy boy has been pestering me the whole entire time. I can't catch a break with him. And of course, fate just had to put him in the same house as me so I can't even catch one minute alone before he and his stupid crew saunters up to me with their stupid stupidness.
You're probably asking (you know, if you could talk), "Hey, Lily, why are you ranting about him now of all times? Shouldn't you be using your writing to take notes and pay attention in class?"
Let me tell you, we were reviewing the wingardium leviosa charm that we learned last class. Now, I'm pretty good at charms (if I do say so myself), and it was a pretty easy spell, but I may have forgotten the arm movement that came with it from last class. So I was working on remembering (it was coming to me, I swear) and then this imbecile had the nerve to come up to me and say in his dumb voice, "Let me help you, Evans," and THEN HE DID THE SPELL FOR ME!
"Swish and flick, Evans. Swish and flick."
And then he had the audacity to smirk and run his fingers through his hair like that was sooo cool.
Oh, swish and flick alright. I'll swish and flick my wand all the way up your—
I'm getting carried away.
Now you might be wondering why that is such a big deal. He was only helping. But it is a big deal!
He wasn't trying to help me at all. He was just showing off his so called "skills." And I am certainly no damsel in distress who needs a dumb prince to save her from a magic spell. Haha, get it?
Anyway, Potter is just a dumb, self-centered, annoying, obnoxious, repulsive—I could go on forever—human being.
And on top of that, he keeps asking me out!
First of all, ewww! I am never going to date anyone, ever. Boys are so gross!
Second of all, ewww! James Potter is the worst boy out of all of them! Even worse than Sirius Black!
You know, since I'm already making a list, maybe I should make a list of all the reasons I hate James Potter! Lists are the best (and yes, I know I sound like a nerd). Let's get this party started!
Reasons Why I Hate James Potter (and will never, ever, EVER call him my boyfriend)
1. He always runs his fingers through his hair (get a comb!)
2. He is ugly inside and out (boys are so…blech)
3. He is mean to Severus (what did Severus ever do to him?) and a childish bully
4. He just likes annoying me and it's just a game to him (I am so not going to let him win)
5. His friends are annoying (the worst!)
6. He thinks Gryffindors are better than all the other houses (I think all the houses are great!)
7. He's a spoiled brat (more specifically, he's a rich socialite who only cares about himself)
8. He—
"Oi, Evans! What's that?" James inquired, grabbing Lily's journal from her grasp. Her quill left a stain on the paper as she was attempting to write reason eight. Maybe that would be the eighth reason: He always takes things without asking.
As she was writing away, she failed to notice the rest of the class breaking into groups to practice the charm Flitwick was just lecturing on. James saw it as the perfect opportunity to annoy Lily without Flitwick noticing.
"Give it back, Potter!" Lily reached for her journal, but James held it over his head and waved it all around.
Grinning from ear to ear, he taunted, "Go out with me, and maybe I'll give it back."
Lily was seething red in anger. "No way! Now give me back my journal."
"You mean your diary?" James pretended to flip through its pages.
"Stop reading it!"
Now Lily was really yelling and James could tell she was serious, so he closed the journal and looked at the cover of the book. Studying its design he asked, "Deers?"
"Deer," Lily corrected. "The plural form of deer is still deer, not deers. And that's a stag and a doe."
"Why do you have deers, I mean, deer, on your diary cover?"
"Journal and it's cause they're my favorite animal. Any more stupid questions?"
"Why are they your favorite animal?" James asked, still holding the book over his head as Lily jumped up to reach it.
"That was rhetorical, Potter! Now give me my journal!" And at that she pounced on James, knocking him and herself to the ground.
She sat on his chest and pinned both his hands to the ground causing the journal to leave his grasp. James's glasses flew askew and in glowing triumph, Lily reached for the open faced journal that lay on the ground a few inches from James's hand.
"Aha!" Lily exclaimed, as she flipped through the book to make sure nothing was damaged.
"Mr. Potter! Ms. Evans! What is the meaning of this?" Professor Flitwick made his way towards them and Lily looked up to see the entire class watching her… as she was still sitting on James.
Quickly, and not very gracefully, Lily pushed herself off of James, as James leisurely picked up his glasses and stood up slowly as if without a care in the world. He almost seemed in a daze.
"Professor Flitwick," Lily stammered, completely appalled. "He was just— We were just—"
"Not practicing your spells, I can see. I would have expected this kind of tomfoolery from Mr. Potter, but not from you, Ms. Evans. Detention for the both of you!"
A sound of protest got caught in Lily's throat.
This was the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to her. Including that time she managed to jump (magically) to the roof of her muggle primary school, but couldn't (was too scared) to come back down until firefighters had to come and carry her away. Her picture was in the town's newspaper. But this... this was definitely more embarrassing.
To the side, Lily could hear some (most) of the students giggling and gossiping to each other. The loudest laugh came from none other than Sirius Black, James's second in command in hijinks and as Flitwick put it, "tomfoolery."
"Detention tonight, before dinner," Flitwick declared sternly.
"Yes, sir," Lily could hear James say.
Lily took in a shaky breath, her face still bright red to go with her fiery hair. "Yes, sir," she managed to get out.
"Class dismissed," Flitwick announced, and immediately, the class started packing their things and clearing out, their minds buzzing with fresh gossip about the James-Lily (one-sided) rivalry.
Lily stood there frozen, tears starting to prick the corners of her eyes.
James, noticing that Lily was in distress, turned to his friends and said, "I'll see you guys back at the common room, yeah?"
"Sure thing, James," Remus answered, and he dragged Sirius and Peter out of the classroom by their sleeves. The two of them obviously wanted to stay and watch what was about to happen.
"Lily?" James lightly touched her arm and that was enough to shake her out of her trance.
Wincing roughly, Lily shook herself free of James and walked briskly out of the classroom, wiping away at a stray tear that left her eye.
"Evans!" James called out, running after her. "What's wrong?"
Lily turned quickly to face him causing James to almost run into her. "What's wrong? What's wrong?" she said in a dangerously low voice.
She suddenly felt so jittery and she could feel her fingers twitch and fidget. She began to pace around the hallway.
James kept in stride with her and stayed by her side.
"Yes! I don't understand why you are so upset! It's just one detention. What's the big deal?"
"The big deal? The big deal?"
"Why are you repeating everything I say twice? I heard myself the first time." James ran his hand through his hair.
"That was the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me in my entire life! My entire existence! I am completely humiliated. And on top of that, I have a detention! I got in trouble because of you! I have never been in detention before and now, I have that on my record," Lily poked him in the chest, "Thanks to you."
"You're very welcome," James smoothly replied.
"Excuse me?" Lily's voice went up an octave and even she could admit she sounded delirious.
"You haven't lived much of a life if that's the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you. I'm just trying to make your life more interesting."
Lily made a sound in protest, but James spoke over her, "And detention really isn't that bad. I've had like three detentions already and it's only my first year. Plus, you'll have me for company."
"That's even worse!"
"Oh, come on, Evans. I'm not that bad. I'm at least better company than Snivellus—"
"Don't call him that," Lily said, through gritted teeth.
"Look at you now. At first you were upset and now you're annoyed with me. That's an improvement of emotions, right?"
Lily just glared at him.
James smiled at the shrewd look she gave him, "I can handle you being annoyed. I can't handle it when you're upset."
Lily wiped away any of the remnant tears that stayed on her face during her whole tirade. James was right, she wasn't as upset as before.
"Don't tell anybody about this, okay? Don't tell anyone I cried," Lily warned, "Not even Black."
"Don't worry, Evans. I won't. What I will be telling everyone is: LILY EVANS SAT ON ME!" James declared loudly, using both his hands around his mouth to amplify the sound. Passing students turned to look at the two of them.
"Potter!" Lily protested; she tried pulling his arms down so he made less of a show out of it, but alas, he persisted.
"EVANS SAT ON ME! RIGHT ON MY CHEST!"
Lily shoved him, blushing lightly. Maybe this was the most embarrassing thing to happen to her.
"I'M NEVER WASHING MY CHEST AGAIN!"
"Ewww," Lily crinkled her nose in disgust.
"OKAY, I GUESS I'M WASHING MY CHEST."
"Stop yelling!" Lily exclaimed, but she couldn't help but laugh along with the rest of the students watching.
"You're laughing," James noted, "That's an even better emotion than annoyed or upset."
"Laughing is not an emotion. But yes, I do feel much better now that everyone is laughing at you and not me."
"It was my pleasure, Evans. Anything to make you laugh."
"You are such a sap," Lily commented.
James had a twinkle in his eye as he turned away from her and started walking to his dormitory "I'll see you in detention, Evans!"
"You better be on time," Lily called out, "I'm not going to do all the work by myself."
"LILY EVANS SAT ON ME!" was his reply, as he raised one fist in the air in celebration.
"I hate you!" Lily shouted in response, her deer adorned journal clutched against her chest.
And she had seven reasons why.
Author's Note: Ah, true love lol. But don't worry too much, Lily will get to the love part eventually. Right now, they are both eleven years old so they still have a long way to go maturity wise.
Hope you all enjoyed reading this! Please leave a review if you did!