Three Wise Men
Disclaimer: I do not own Overlord
Summary: Three magic casters of unfathomable power enter the New World with Nazarick when, instead of Herohero, Tabula Smaragdina and Ulbert Alain Odle return for the end of Yggdrasil. More importantly, they can keep Albedo and Demiurge in line between terrorizing the human countries and searching for a way to get Momonga laid. Equal parts comedy and serious. Horror and harems abound later.
The world ends with a whimper, not a bang.
Momonga found that this statement was especially true for MMOs like YGGDRASIL. Even before the shut down is announced, an MMO fading out of popularity is foreshadowed by one thing: Quiet. The servers, the forums, the traffic all showing less and less activity. The players that do still log on find the game's realm an increasingly empty place, with only NPCs keeping the virtual world(s) from becoming entirely desolate. And most specifically, guild bases where many laughs, arguments, and plotting happened were now like hallowed tombs to the stragglers.
That Nazarick was actually a tomb to begin with didn't help make that analogy any less depressing.
Yet, Momonga had been hoping for one last hurrah, a last day or hour even with his old guild mates. Some of them, any of them.
With a great sigh, he looked around the round table meeting room with sad disappointment. No one was coming, it seemed. It was depressing for the guildmaster, but not totally unexpected. Some had probably gotten new emails, had too much work to do or had just moved on. Unlike him. Still, he thought at least one of his comrades would have taken the invi-.
"We have returned, Our Glorious Leader!"
"How many times are you going to say that, Ulbert?"
"As many times as necessary until we find- Momonga!"
Momonga rose from his seat in surprise to see two figures he had not seen in ages. One was a bipedal goat of sorts, with grey fur and golden horns, while the other was a pale creature that vaguely resembled a humanoid with a squid for a head and entirly like a corpse.
"Tabula!? Ulbert?!" Momonga exclaimed in surprise, showing shock and smily emojis to display his shock and joy at seeing them. Then he caught himself. "Um, I mean, it's great that you could both come after all this time."
The demonic and eldritch players shared a look with each other. Despite their avatars being unable to express facial emotions and lack of emojis sent between each others, the meaning seemed to be well received by each other. In sync, they turned back to the nervous lich-
-and promptly hugged him. Or tried to.
Momonga blinked as they were suddenly pushed back with a orange X appearing in front of him. "What did you-"
"Checking to see if they added a hugging function," Tabula admitted factually.
"Damn it, how shitty are the devs to mistype Bug Fix as Hug Fix on an update?" Ulbert bemoaned, shaking his goat-head. "And it looked like you needed one with how you were closing up again."
"I wasn't closing up!" Momonga defended.
"It's great to see you again, Momonga," Tabula interrupted solemnly. "That is the long and short of what he's trying to convey."
"T-thanks, Tabula. I missed you guys, and the others. Still, it's great that at least some of the guild showed up for the end," Momonga said with a sigh, half sad and half relieved.
"Now, now, none of that. We can be depressed in the morning when reality comes knocking. Tonight, we revel in our mighty seats of power, one last time!" Ulbert declared proudly. "But first...can we have our gear back, Leader?" Ulbert asked awkwardly.
Momonga blinked, in real life at least. Being so caught up in the joy of seeing his fellow magic casters again, he failed to take notice that they were both equipped with only low levels mystic cloths, basically trash and rags to a Level 100 player.
"I felt very exposed walking through the Great Tomb like this," Tabula admitted evasively.
Being without equipment was like being naked, but being with severely under-leveled equipment was somehow worse.
"I'll be right back!" Momonga promised in embarrassment as he teleported out of the room, heading for the treasury and the mausoleum.
"Well, he hasn't changed," Tabula observed.
"Oi, he's going to take this hard," Ulbert mused, imitating the motions of rubbing his forehead. "Is it bad I want to get his address and pay a hooker or something to visit his place, show him a good time and all that?"
"Incredibly bad idea," Tabula answered flatly. "But also just like you, so, continue."
"Shut it, Squidy. I'm just worried about Leader. He's put the last few years of his life into maintaining this place by the looks of it," Ulbert pointed out.
"I saw the same things you did, Ulbert. Momonga obviously invested much into our old guild base, so it's only right we try and make this day enjoyable. So no trying to fork personal information out of him to send him ill-conceived gifts," Tabula scolded.
The World Disaster huffed and looked away but didn't rebuke the mindflayer's point. He really did want to be here, one last chance to be part of this gloriously evil fantasy they had built, what seemed like ages ago.
Both players received simultaneous messages,with a simple title to them: "EQUIPMENT TRANSFERRED from MOMONGA"
And step one was getting into character!
Meanwhile, Momonga sighed in relief as he finished up his speedy delivery. He had almost forgotten to remove the guild ring before coming in here, with all the statues of his friends. Triggering that trap would have ruined the good mood, certainly.
His job done and ring reequipped, he teleported back to the guild's meeting room.
And sweat dropped at the scene before him. Both his guild mates were in their best and most favorite equipment. Ulbert had a strangely sophisticated look for a goat-headed demon with his suit, cloak and golden half-mask over his right side. Tabula's form fitting leather outfit with studs and belts, on the other hand, had been the subject of many BDSM-jokes in Ainz Ooal Gown over the years. Thankfully, this never really phased the occult-buff.
Still, that wasn't the strange part of this scene.
"Ulbert, put that back," Tabula instructed as he folded his arms and looked up in disapproval.
"No way! This is my last chance to do this right! The way we should have done it!" Ulbert declared, having climbed on top of of the large circular table...while holding the golden Staff of Ainz Ooal Gown out of reach from the alchemist as if he would snatch it out of his hands...which was technically impossible to do in this game, Momonga believed.
"What is going on?" Momonga asked with a question mark appearing next to him.
"Momonga! Just in time, O Great Overlord!" Ulbert declared giddily.
"...Tabula, what is he doing and why does he have the staff?" Momonga asked, looking to the perfectionist with a lost look.
Tabula sagged a bit- something their avatars actually could imitate- with a sigh, "He always wanted to present the Staff in an over the top manner as if it officially made you the Guild Master."
"No! It's just that in terms of role-playing, this would have been the crowning moment in his character history and I wanted to make it authentic. But we were all bummed over how many left the guild because of it, so...a good time never came up," Ulbert corrected, growing somber at the end before shaking it off and making a prayer motion to the bewildered undead. "Please give this wretched demon this moment of terror, Leader!"
"Will you stop calling me Leader if I say yes, just for tonight?" Momonga asked in exasperation.
"Not a chance, no," Ulbert answered bluntly.
"You're going to do this no matter what I say, aren't you, Ulbert?" Momonga deduced knowingly.
"Just so, Leader, just so," Ulbert answered with a grinning smiley face near him.
The Master turned to the Horror who shook his head in resignation of the Disaster's antics. "Well, let's have it then," Momonga accepted, waving the roleplayer on.
Ulbert chuckled before standing up straight, looking his best to appear as absolutely intimidating and diabolical as possible. "Momonga!" Ulbert declared with his arms spread wide.
Momonga almost jumped as the entire area seemed to be set on fire, leaving the room painted in a harsh, hellish orange.
"Lord of Nazarick and Overlord of Overlords!" Ulbert continued with relish as he hopped down as gracefully as possible and held out the guild item to the skeleton. "I, Ulbert Alain Odle, the World Disaster, present to you this Golden Staff of Power! Forged from the might of gods with the sweat of the Supreme Beings. Let this be a symbol, to show to all that, without question, you are the True and Supreme Leader of Ainz Ooal Gown!" he declared, holding it out, subtly unequiping it and letting float just out of his reach.
Momonga blinked, taking an awkward moment to reach out and equip the great weapon to himself, an animation of tormented spirits pluming our of its top as he did.
And with that, the flames vanished, leaving the bright meeting room as pristine as ever.
"...What the hell was that?" Tabula summed up with a head tilt.
"Just a minor cosmetic feature I never really got a good chance to use outside of Grand Catastrophe," Ulbert shrugged off.
"I thought that was just a side effect of the spell," Momonga murmured before clearing his throat. "Thanks for the show though, Ulbert."
"No problem, Leader," Ulbert said with a chuckle. "So, now that the pleasantries are out of the way, what have you done with the place?"
"Done?" Momonga asked in confusion.
"Well, you have obviously went to great effort to keep the Great Tomb of Nazarick intact and functioning," Tabula commented, making a show of looking around. "So, what else have you done with it? Any new NPCs, changed the floors around, modified some of guardian's equipment?"
"W-what? Of course not! I left it entirely how everyone left it!" Momonga responded with some mixture of assurance and offense.
The other two leaned back in surprise at the statement, sharing a quick glance. "You...haven't changed...anything?" Ulbert stressed warily.
"You've just been farming mobs to keep all the automatic systems working?" Tabula added in growing disbelief.
"For over two years?!" Ulbert finished as the shock set in.
"Um...yes?" Momonga answered uncertainly, not sure what bothered them so much.
Ulbert was not a genius by any means and Tabula would make no claim to it either, but all the little details were starting to come together. The amount of in-game money needed to keep Nazarick going was not absurd, but keeping the treasury from depleting long term would require immense dedication and effort from just one player to manage all alone. With growing discomfort, they began to realize that their old guild master must have spent most, if not all of his time just farming enemies and dropping the loot in the treasury.
"...Tabula, how long until the shut down?" Ulbert asked eventually.
"About three hours, twelve minutes," Tabula answered flatly.
"Well, that settles it. Come on, Leader!" Ulbert called as he spun around and headed to the door.
"Where are we going?!" Momonga asked in bewilderment as he returned the guild weapon to its resting spot.
"To party like its twenty-one o-two!" Ulbert declared proudly.
"We're going to have fun and celebrate the end of YGGDRASIL," Tabula clarified helpfully.
"Squid, stop ruining my lines!" Ulbert yelled in mock annoyance.
Despite their confusing reactions, Momonga smiled at their antics. This was what he missed: the idle chatter, the insane comments that made sense only to themselves and the mere enjoyment of being around comrades like these.
Timeskip: One-and-a-half hours Later
"Really? Really? You just had to GC the Kitty Kingdom's old base?" Momonga asked in amusement as they walked on the surface of the Great Tomb.
"I don't care if they all left and disbanded! That guild and its very name was a disgrace to YGGDRASIL! A catgirl player or NPC here and there is fine, but that was just sacrilege to the rest of the guilds!" Ulbert defended vehemently
"At least you didn't ransack what was left of Trinity," Momonga relented with a sigh.
"Wait for it," Tabula instructed knowingly.
"I think we kicked their holy halos enough during that Great Raid," Ulbert answered with a laugh.
"There you go," Tabula commented, nodding to himself. "Besides, I'm not sure you have room to talk, Guildmaster. Undead zerg rush much?"
"H-hey, when you spend all your online time farming, you get a little creative in how to make it fun sometimes. And mass spawning my undead to take over a lower level dungeon tends to be interesting," Momonga explained sheepishly.
"What did you pop out for anyways, Squids?" Ulbert questioned idly, leaning forward to look at the mindflayer on Momonga's other side.
"I ported over to one of the trading areas and used my old and new funds to buy," Tabula explained simply.
"Buy what?" both demon and undead inquired curiously.
"Everything I could that wasn't useless," Tabula answered matter of-factly. "If it's the end of this virtual world, I'm going out as the player with the most scrolls."
"You both have the oddest priorities," Momonga murmured in bewilderment.
They chose not to comment on the potential, unseen hypocrisy in that statement.
"So, what now?" Momonga inquired curiously as they stood in front of the entrance to the first floor of Nazarick.
"My vote, jump back to grab the staff for our final waltz through Nazarick," Ulbert suggested enthusiastically.
"Second," Tabula concurred readily.
"Umm, okay, but why the staff?" Momonga asked, looking between the two.
"You mean besides it feeling appropriate to take the Guild Weapon on a journey through the Guild Base, by the Guildmaster?" Tabula answered rhetorically.
"Yeah, besides that, Leader? We can use it to access all the NPCs. You've spent this whole time taking care of them, so it seems right you should know them all a bit before the shutdown," Ulbert suggested.
"...Won't the others be upset at us messing around with their creations?" Momonga muttered, more to himself than them.
"Oh for the-" Ulbert cut himself off, face-palming with a deep breath. "Momonga, when we left, we didn't just leave the equipment to you, we left everything in the guild base to you. I half expected you to have genderbent Demiurge as a joke by now," he informed bluntly.
"...Disturbing and crude, but a valid point," Tabula agreed sagely.
Momonga looked between the two before taking a deep breath and disappearing from view. The two stood in awkward silence for a second, Ulbert turning to Tabula, "You think we laid it on a bit too thick?"
Tabula merely shrugged as Momonga returned, golden staff in hand. "Ready to go?"
In real life, Ulbert grinned as Tabula smirked.
Floor 1: Catacombs
"I swear she got smaller," Ulbert commented as they gathered around the gothic lolita that was Shalltear Bloodfallen. "Are we sure Pero didn't put some "Gets younger looking as she ages" thing in her features?" he asked with a head tilt.
"For the last time, I've triple checked her settings. I now know far more fetishes exist than I ever desired to, but I didn't find anything like that," Tabula answered bluntly. "I'm more disturbed there is no "older form" ability."
"He...might have been scared Bukubukuchagama would find out about it if he did," Momonga suggested with a nervous chuckle. "I've always wondered, how did he end up making a vampire and you with a succubus anyway, Tabula?" Momonga inquired thoughtfully.
"A vampire wouldn't have worked with the theme and backstory I had already conjured up, so I challenged him to tic-tac-toe. We tied two hundred and seven times before he developed a headache and lost," Tabula elaborated.
"...And I am the evil one?" Ulbert inquired flatly.
"Got to give Pero credit though. Her backstory settings are a bit trashy, but the minmaxing is outstanding. Hm, an instant revival item?" Tabula noticed in idly surprise.
"He must have given it to her after we revived her the last time," Momonga deduced thoughtfully.
"Well, let's respect the man's former wank material and leave her be," Ulbert suggested.
"Wait, wait," Momonga stopped them. The two watched as their normally reserved friend used the staff to access Shalltear's settings and started to type in several lines. "There, that should do it."
"...What did you do?" Ulbert asked, somewhere between gleeful and in awe.
"Just...put some stuff in that I'm sure Pero would appreciate," Momonga answered, clearly embarrassed over whatever he just wrote.
"Progress," Tabula conceded with a shrug.
"I'm so proud of you," Ulbert teased.
Floor 2: Black Capsule
"Am I the only one that finds Kyouhukou kind of adorable in a weird, bust-a-gut kind of way?" Ulbert inquired as they stood in a dark room, filled with digital cockroaches crawling around in predetermined patterns while in passive.
"No, his little royal attire does add a certain charm to it," Tabula acknowledged in agreement.
"I think Luci*Fer said something about getting the idea from an old console series from the early gaming era. Ramio? Bario? A little Italian character fighting some kind of dragon-turtle to save a princess?" Momonga recalled vaguely.
"Oh yeah, I remember that. There was a weird internet fad that went about with how the crown turned anything into a princess," Ulbert remembered idly. "Our ancestors were weird."
"Says the goat demon obsessed with causing an in-game apocalypse while being literally known as the World Disaster," Tabula quipped, glancing back at Ulbert as he scrawled through the text this time. "Anything interesting?"
"No, just basic stu-huh?" Ulbert paused as he reached the end. "PS Although he is the Duke of Terror, his crown is not to crown him a king over his kind. He is, instead, king of..."
"Well?" Momonga asked after a lengthy pause.
"Well nothing, it ends right there," Ulbert answered before tilting his head. "Unless..." he turned back to the text and leaned closer. "Son of a beater, he put it in as a spoiler box."
"You can do that?" Momonga asked in surprise.
"It's Luci*Fer. He'd find a way," Tabula said in exasperation.
"Well, lets see if I can't-," Ulbert stopped and stared upon tapping the holographic text. "...Do you two hear that?" he asked slowly.
The undead and eldritch looked to one another before looking about. "No, I-wait, yes, I hear that," Tabula confirmed, noticing a sound rising in the background over the skittering insect feet.
"Is that...music?" Momonga inquired as he strained his ears.
*You can't touch this*
All three players jumped back in surprise as the entire Black Capsule lit up, right as Kyouhukou stepped forward...and began to break dance.
*You can't touch this*
"What is...?" Tabula inquired without comprehension as the giant roach began to spin on its shell.
*You can't touch this*
*(oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)*
Ulbert smirked to himself. "This is Kyouhukou: Patriarch of Roaches, Duke of Terror and King of Dance," he explained dryly as he closed the screen.
*You can't touch this*
*(oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)*
"How much data space did this even take up?" Momonga speculated.
"Too much, probably, but I can't say it wasn't worth it," Ulbert offered in amusement.
"Strangely, I can't disagree with that," Tabula agreed with a nod.
The three stood there, unable to look away from the scene before them until the song was done.
They all agreed that feature would never be altered. Their only regret was that Luci*Fer would never be embarrassed by it.
Floor 3: Grave Vault of Adipocere
"Helllllllo Fort Yuri," Ulbert declared voraciously.
"Really?" Tabula deadpanned.
"Must you call it that?" Momonga asked in defeat.
"Well, yeah, that's what Peroroncino called it," Ulbert answered nonchalantly.
"He did?" Momonga asked, turning in surprise.
"That doesn't surprise me," Tabula snarked.
"Word for word, down to the inflection on Hello," Ulbert confirmed with a snicker.
"That surprises me even less," Tabula admitted.
"Well when you think about what our walk fetish-storm of a Vampiress and her harem of vampire brides must be up to in their off time..." Momonga conceded as an awkward air hung over them.
"Lets move on, getting a boner in the dive is always weird," Ulbert suggested, waving them on. "And why did we approve the overly cliche, rickety bridge into the abyss of doom?"
Floor 4: Underground Lake
"Gargantua, the Strategic Siege Golem," Tabula mused as they stood in an immense cave housing an equally large lake, the silhouette of an colossal entity resting at the bottom. "The SSG Gargantua. Do you believe they named him like that to make him sound like a ship?"
"I can see the devs doing that," Ulbert acknowledged with a nod. "Hey, remind me, Leader? Did we get this big guy after we made this floor or did we make the floor to put him in?"
"Huh, I honestly don't recall. I know we rearranged the floors either way. Thank the world tree we didn't have to take them apart and remake them all to get the order right," Momonga reminisced, stroking his chin. "Too bad we couldn't customize him."
"Ha! Leader, I'm all for overkill, but the thing's stats outclass Shalltear's. Squids here wouldn't have needed to make Rubedo if this thing wasn't just a golem," Ulbert remarked in deep amusement.
"Don't bad mouth my perfect weapon," Tabula rebuked with a glare that seemed to be conveyed across digital space.
"Right...shall we head off to Iceland?"
Tabula and Ulbert blinked, turning to see Momonga embarrassed over his attempt at a joke. Momonga chose to remain quiet.
Floor 5: Snowball Earth
"This is the one thing I never got about Takemikazuchi," Ulbert commented as they stood inside the white dome that was home to the floor guardian known as Cocytus. The large insectoid stood in front of them, looking strangely peaceful. Fitting for one of the denizens with a more neutral karma.
"Oh? What's that?" Momonga asked idly.
"Why the ice? Takemi didn't have any ice-based attacks and never really said anything about wanting any," Ulbert pointed out as he observed the living room, complete with furniture scaled to Cocytus's size, but all also made of ice.
"He actually explained that in the setting: Apparently he was thinking like a roleplayer and figured it would give Cocytus a stronger defense," Momonga explained.
"Well, that's as good a plan as any," Ulbert allowed mildly.
"He's also a big softy by the looks of it," Momonga said to himself, chuckling at the unexpected details to the frost-warrior's personality. Loyalty, honor and all the qualities of a samurai, but strangely sentimental and having something of an appreciation for family- especially children.
"Hm?" Ulbert inquired, not sure what he had heard.
"I have returned," Tabula announced as he reappeared near his guild mates.
"How's the eldest?" Ulbert asked dryly, smirk clear in his voice.
"I am not sure how to feel over your approval of Nigredo and how I introduced her," Tabula said in annoyance.
"You scared the crap out of all of us with that horror show! It was awesome!" Ulbert said with a cackle.
Tabula rolled his eyes. "I gave her bear to her, one last time. I felt it appropriate to let her have it for the end," Tabula explained with some barely contained bitterness.
Momonga sighed in nostalgia. "Glad I'm not the only sentimental one here."
"I only have two ways to deal with being upset: Snark and Rage. I prefer this right now," Ulbert explained, shaking his head. "I want to say shitty devs, but it's not entirely their fault this time..."
"Moving on!" Tabula announced, heading to the entrance of the next floor.
Accepting the subject switch, the two followed as well before Momonga hummed. "I'm surprise you didn't comment on Cocytus living with a bunch of Frost Virgins, Ulbert," Momonga commented curiously.
"...Dammit! I knew I was forgetting something!" Ulbert shouted in frustration as his guild mates took a laugh at his expense, or a snort in Tabula's case.
Floor 6: Jungle
"Why did we never put a beach in here?" Momonga asked curiously as they stood on top of the Colosseum, beneath a beautifully made artificial night sky. "I mean, we already have a desert of sand near a jungle. It seemed like Blue Planet would have liked to-"
"Too much data for realistic water on a large scale," Ulbert explained flatly, getting surprised looks. "Trust me, I had similar issues with the lava."
"Not surprising. Where I was a conceptual perfectionist, Blue Planet was dedicated to capturing the beauty of nature," Tabula recalled.
"So, we not going to visit the twins?" Momonga asked curiously.
"That depends," Tabula started. "We'd have to decide, right here and now, if we're going to leave Mare a trap or not."
"True that," Ulbert agreed, nodding at the wise words. "Otherwise,we're going to keeping discussing it when they're right in front of us and that will just take longer."
"Ummm, okay?" Momonga accepted with a shrug. "I don't think Bukubukuchagama would approve of changing him though."
"A fair point, but I'm not sure if Mare being a submissive, feminine brother to a assertive, tomboy sister was a true character design and not just a jab at Pero more than anything else," Tabula speculated.
"True. I say leave them though," Ulbert countered. "I kind of like how spunky Buku described Aura. And if we change Mare into a girl, we would probably feel a little compelled to make Aura a boy."
Momonga stayed silent as his friends talked it out, mostly keeping an eye on the timer to make sure they didn't waste all their time here.
Floor 7: Lava
The magic trio arrived into the volcanic lands, strangely silent.
"...What, no quip about welcoming us into Hell? Out of the frying pan and into the fire? Nothing?" Tabula questioned as they looked to their demonic compatriot.
Ulbert Alain Odle just stared out onto the hellscape with a deep sense of longing. "It's more beautiful than I remember," he said softly.
For once, it was Momonga sharing a look with Tabula, before patting Ulbert on the back. He understood what he meant. After all, Ulbert had made this floor, designing it from head to toe. Only he knew what was really all here. Considering all the work he put into it, it was only right that this leg of the journey strained his emotions some.
"Would you...like some privacy here?" Momonga inquired.
"I'm not THAT sentimental," Ulbert retorted with a small laugh. "Come on, I have a fellow demon to bid farewell to..."
Floor 8: Cherry Blossom Sanctuary
"God damn, this place never gets old," Ulbert said, savoring the scenery.
They sat on the porch of a traditional small Japanese home, looking out onto a field surrounded by cherry blossom trees, a slow and beautiful stream of petals dancing through the air.
All the while being served tea by what, to anyone else, would appear to be just a miko shrine maiden.
"Even the demon has some commonly enjoyed things as guilty pleasures," Tabula mused as he drank his tea, despite not being able to taste it.
"Shut it, Squids," Ulbert said, too content to really put his effort into it as he looked at the traditionally beautiful Japanese woman. "The head of the Pleiades, Aureole Omega," he mused.
"Does a shrine maiden still count of a maid?" Momonga inquired offhandedly.
"Don't know, don't care," Ulbert answered instantly.
"I will stretch my mind to accept any bend in definitions for this one," Tabula agreed readily.
A Demon, a Mindflayer and a Skeleton all drinking tea while watching the Sakura petals fall. It sounded like a bad manga to Momonga, but it was nice, he had to admit. Things like this were basically impossible in their polluted world, so this was the best they could do to experience some aspects of their own culture properly. And so, the three friends basked in the allure of this little hidden gem in Nazarick that had served as a guilty pleasure for much of the guild. Hidden nice and safe on the most dangerous floor where not even the great raid had managed to find it when they reached here.
It was a good moment. A worthwhile waste of time if they ever knew one.
Floor 9: Royal Suite
"I shall admit, we went a little overboard with this," Tabula stated bluntly as they walked through the luxurious halls.
"Really, Mr OCT?" Ulbert questioned in mock surprise.
"Please be consistent if you must call me names," Tabula requested bluntly.
"Huh...?" Ulbert paused as he looked confused, then face-palmed. "That joke went over all the heads. I didn't mean like octopus, I meant Obsessive-Compulsive Tentacles," he explained.
"And that was clever, why?" Tabula retorted, clearly unamused.
"Never mind that, what were you saying, Tabula?" Momonga inquired.
"I mean, settings and backstories were one thing, but we kind of put in a lot of wish fulfillment here, needlessly since it's all just decorative to make it seem like we lived like kings in this base," Tabula pointed out.
"True, but I rather like it. And it gave Whitebrim and the others an excuse to put in the homunculi maids," Momonga offered in kind.
"The maids," Ulbert recalled, looking to the ceiling in thought. "Hey, guys? Lore-based role-play question?"
"Fire away," Tabula encouraged, admittedly curious.
"Which of us would make more of them?" Ulbert asked, causing them to stop and look at him uncomprehendingly.
"Who? The maids?" Momonga asked, not quite understanding the question.
"Yeah. You're undead, I'm demonic and he's eldritch," Ulbert pointed out, motioning to each of them in turn. "I mean, homunculi are technically undead in a Frankenstein fashion, I think. And, character wise, my build could probably turn someone into a demonic maid pretty easily."
"But they are a more traditionally alchemy-based subject, which falls more under my domain," Tabula countered, but felt more like he was conceding to himself. "I suppose any of us, theoretically, could refill their ranks in one fashion or another."
"...So, we're the Maid-Makers than?" Ulbert summarized with a grin.
"And we're back to our regularly featured Ulbert," Tabula remarked, walking on and prompting them to do the same. "Too bad we never did anything more with them. I could see them being all low levels that help deal with mooks."
"I'm down for more badass maids, even if minor badass. Hell, I bet a real Nazarick would have some monstrous pests from time to time," Ulbert remarked with a laugh.
"A real Nazarick...," Momonga murmured fondly.
Floor 10: Throne
"Oh, finally! And with time to spare!" Ulbert declared as the doors open, revealing the awe inspiring throne room complete with red banners, the massive chandeliers and the imposing World-Class item for a throne. "I think I helped make those," Ulbert recalled, pointing to the chandeliers overhead.
"No you didn't," Tabula retorted with an annoyed tone.
"Okay, not the coding, but I was a sound board for a while. They couldn't decide if it should be a regular trap or make that they're really alive, if they should each only spam one type of elemental attack or just have them each spam all the elements. You know, the little stuff," Ulbert defended sheepishly.
"I remember that. You even told them not to make them too big," Momonga recalled fondly.
"The walking nuke suggested downsizing? Really?" Tabula questioned skeptically.
"Hey, if its a trap, you can't make it too big and noticeable or everyone will look at it and there'll be someone savvy enough to know something isn't right," Ulbert grumbled with a huff.
The three walked in silence down the carpet to the dais, upon which sat the seat of power in the Great Tomb. "The Throne of Kings. Never ceases to inspire," Tabula said fondly.
"Nor does our lovely hostess," Ulbert remarked with a appreciative look to the white-clad succubus standing nearby with a serene smile.
Momonga shook his head fondly. "Try not to drool, Ul-"
"HOLY SHIT!" Ulbert exclaimed in shock, startling them both. "Squids, why does Albedo have a world item!?"
"She has what!?" Momonga echoed, looking in surprise between Albedo and Tabula.
"..." Tabula stood there for a moment as he studied his creation. "...Oh right, I did do that," he remembered with a nod before jerking in bewilderment. "Wait, I did that just before I left years ago! Momonga, have you not been down here in years!?" he asked, his friend's strange dedication stunning him out of his normal calm once more.
"Umm...maybe?" Momonga answered sheepishly.
"...What kind of Overlord doesn't visit his own throne room? And with that arm candy!" Ulbert questioned in disbelief.
"A-a very busy one!" Momonga tried to defend, but it came off as weak even to him. "And should you really be talking about her in front of Tabula...?"
"Hmm?" Tabula perked up at the question. "Umm, Momonga? She IS your arm candy," he pointed out, getting both to stare at him.
"...What?" Momonga asked with wide eyes.
"I say what now?" Ulbert inquired in kind.
"She's a Succubus that leads the other guardians and is meant to stand as your right hand. She was my present for you, but I thought you'd spend more time on the throne," Tabula explained.
Momonga stood in silence as Ulbert whistled. "You actually made badass NPC eye candy for someone. Squids, you're officially an awesome friend."
"Your praise is I all I ever wanted in this virtual life," Tabula drawled sarcastically.
"But...why the world item?" Momonga questioned, grasping for something he could focus on without being embarrassed.
"Hm? Oh, right, Ginnungagap. I just thought it was the best item to complete the image of her being the Stewardess of Nazarick," Tabula shrugged off. "Last minute prank and all that, I suppose."
"Okay, I can buy that..." Ulbert conceded, looking back to Momonga. "Shall we see your arm candy's setting, Leader?"
"Stop calling her that," Momonga requested under his breath, but held up the staff to access Albedo's settings all the same.
"Wall of text much?" Ulbert jabbed with amusement.
"Yeah, this is a bit nuts, Tabula," Momonga agreed.
"No quality heathens," the mindflayer grumbled in protest as they skimmed over his handiwork.
"How long does thi-Eh?" Momonga stopped to look at Tabula. "She's a slut?"
"You made Momonga's arm candy a slut?" Ulbert asked, tilting his head. "I'm tempted to retract my previous statement about you being an awesome friend."
"Gapmoe," Tabula reminded bluntly.
Momonga just sighed in exasperation while Ulbert looked between the NPC and her creator several times before settling on Tabula. "...I don't get it," Ulbert stated with honest confusion in his voice.
"She's got the attitude of a proud, noble lady but she's a slut under all the refinement. What's not to get?" Tabula explained, practically challenging the demon.
"Yeah...but it's not gapmoe," Ulbert refuted cautiously.
"Explain," Tabula demanded, albeit curiously.
"She's a succubus," Ulbert reminded, Tabula going completely silent. "No matter how she acts or dresses, a succubus being a slut is kind of...normal, really."
An all consuming silence began to devour the throne room, making everyone very uncomfortable.
"Tabula? Are you...alright?" Momonga asked cautiously to the statue-like player avatar.
Only for the eldritch to fall to his knees in horror. "I have failed gapmoe...," he whispered as if it were the most horrid sin he could commit.
"Jeez, Squids, we still have seven minutes. You can change her if you really want to get it right," Ulbert pointed out, actually feeling a bit awkward being on this end of the "over-reaction" situation.
"But...my gapmoe...?" Ulbert repeated, sounding lost.
"Um...would this work?" Momonga offered uncertainly.
Both players looked to Momonga as he showed them Albedo's settings; Now edited settings.
Mindflayer and demon alike nearly jumped forward to see what the skeleton had wrote; "She is completely in love with someone." They read out loud in sync.
"W-well, if being a slut is normal, being completely in love...might not be?" Momonga suggested nervously.
They stared at the holographic display for a good ten seconds. "Well, I'm sold. And almost proud, again," Ulbert said with delight.
"Two quick little changes!" Tabula stated quickly as his four webbed fingers reached up to grasp the keyboard.
Momonga, a bit less worried about his friend's reaction now, leaned around to examine the change. "Why did you change Completely to Truly?" he inquired, glancing to Tabula before it was done.
"Completely is asking for Yandere, and a Yandere Succubus is not Gapmoe," Tabula stated firmly, with a disturbing amount of conviction to get this right, even if it was the last thing he did. In YGGDRASIL, that is. "There, done."
"...BWHAHAHAHAH! Okay, NOW I'm proud of you, Squids," Ulbert declared with uproarious laughter.
"Hm?" Momonga tilted his head as he looked back to the text and gaped. "Why would you write that?!" Momonga asked in shock as he saw what the final change was.
'She is truly in love with Momonga.'
"How does this add to the gapmoe?!" Momonga challenged in embarrassment.
"It is the ULTIMATE Gapmoe!" Tabula insisted with solemn determination. "She's a succubus, but she's TRULY, non-yanderely in love with YOU: A lich of the highest order, and therefore not physically capable of satisfying her natural cravings."
Ulbert's laughter came to halt at that, starring dumbfounded at the perfectionist. "And again, I'm the evil one?!" Ulbert asked in shock.
"Oh please, you nuked a nation of kittens. That's way more evil than permanently denying a succubus," Tabula argued halfheartedly.
Both turned to see Momonga as laughter erupted from his avatar.
"Hahaha! Thank you, guys. I really appreciate you taking the time come and spend the last day of the game with me," Momonga said, bowing his head in gratitude.
"I had some vacation time I needed to spend anyway," Tabula assured, waving the concerns off.
"Fuck my job," Ulbert stated flatly before glancing at the time with a sigh. "Three minutes, eh?"
For some reason, Ainz couldn't find the sorrow in his soul weighing too much on this wonderful end to Ainz Ooal Gown-
"We should take a picture," Momonga stated suddenly.
"Like we did after we conquered the tomb?" Tabula recalled fondly.
"Then you best take your throne, O Glorious Leader, and quick," Ulbert encouraged playfully.
With precious seconds ticking by, Momonga didn't protest as he sat upon the Throne of Kings as Ulbert stood to his left and Tabula to his right. Ulbert crossed his arms and did all he could to appear as the intimidating demon he had built his character to be, while Tabula just stood there, allowing his race's otherworldliness do it it for him.
"We ready?" Momonga asked, knowing they couldn't waste time.
"Quick, make her bow!" Ulbert insisted in a hurry.
"Really?" Momonga asked flatly.
"Please, Overlord?" Ulbert requested.
"Very well. Bow," Momonga conceded, Albedo's avatar kneeling before the three players.
"And now, our Lords of Nazarick look is complete. Screenshot!" Ulbert declared as he held the pose.
"To the end of this world, my friends and to the glory of gapmoe," Tabula toasted as he took his own picture as well.
"It's been fun," Momonga agreed as he sat back in the throne, the three of them basking in the memories of all that they and their friends had all done in this guild. "It's been fun..."
"See you next time, Leader," Ulbert said in a lamenting tone.
"I wouldn't mind joining another guild in another game with you, Momonga...or you too, I suppose, Ulbert," Tabula offered, with some reluctance at the end.
"You too, Tabula, you too," Ulbert answered with a chuckle as they watched the seconds tick bye.
23: 59: 50
23: 59: 51
23: 59: 52
23: 59: 53
"All Hail Ainz Ooal Gown!" Momonga declared for the final time.
23: 59: 54
23: 59: 55
23: 59: 56
"All Hail Ainz Ooal Gown!" Ulbert and Tabula echoed as they faced the proverbial oblivion head on.
23: 59: 57
23: 59: 58
23: 59: 59
00: 00: 00
Only to find it never came.
00: 00: 01
"What?" Momonga said in surprise. "A glitch? Or did they push the shutdown- my voice?" he stopped in surprise, finding his voice much deeper than he recalled.
"Momonga, I do not believe this is a glitch," Tabula spoke, his voice strange, as if it were a voice from the depth of the oceans.
"D-definitly not," Ulbert agreed with a strained voice as he fell back onto his rear, wincing as he did.
Seeing their friend's state, Momonga nearly jumped form the throne as Tabula moved closer. "Lord Ulbert, are you alright!?"
Everyone froze, turning to stare at...Albedo. Who, despite being an NPC who should be unable to use non-programmed speaking lines or change her facial expression much, she looked frantically worried at the trio.
The three supreme beings weren't sure yet what was going on, but they all mentally came to the same conclusion: 'Oh, fuck.'
End of Chapter
Ha! Was not expectingthis to be my newet post, but here it is. I pulled in the two magic casters stronger than Momonga- and ones that liked him lot from what I read.
Took some liberties in forming their personalities, but they're mainly what I imagined them being like from the limited info we have on them.
Until next time, enjoy and review.