5For a moment, I almost wanted to go with them. I almost wanted to pack my few belongings, climb on the bus along with them. I'd fall asleep next to them and listen to Mabel's singing and Dipper's questions all the way to California.
I'm sitting here in my study and I can't think of anything but them. I can't think. It's very bizarre to think that I can't think. I am, to say, a thinker, not a feeler. I will forget to eat when I study hard enough. I have never been successful in a relationship. I have never needed to be successful in a relationship. I log everything I do, and everyone I meet. I rarely make emotional attachments, and certainly not to children I met less than a month ago. But that's where I lose my neat order of routine and schedule. I have been to thousands of universes. I have seen horrible, life changing, amazing, unbelievable things, and yet none of those were able to "Shake me like a soda can!" As my niece would say. My niece would say a lot of things.
I pull my list out. I acknowledge that keeping rules for oneself is an odd trait, but lists can be a very simple, yet effective solution for seventy years of mayhem. My entire life has been lived by a specific set of instructions that I abide by in times of distress. I began the habit at age eight, and it's never done me wrong.
Until two children got on a bus an hour ago.
I unfold the small, yellowed piece of paper that I rediscovered in wedged into Journal Two. The memories come rushing back, first through the eyes of an eager kid, and finally through the eyes of a heartbroken teen.
Don't listen to Crampelter.
Don't let Stanley touch dead birds.
Do well in school.
Make sure Stanley does well in school
Memorize every textbook in the curriculum.
Stay out of Dad's way.
Impress dad with boxing.
Be better at boxing.
Don't get headlocked in boxing.
Don't go to boxing.
Find a girl who likes me.
Don't find a girl. It's too hard.
Get into good college and become a scientist!
Find a way to get into a good college.
Outmatch all the other science fair projects.
Start planning classes for West Tech!
Let Stanley down slowly when I get picked.
Look good when the committee gets there!
It's tomorrow! DON'T MESS UP.
Don't let your emotions get the best of you.
Don't let your emotions get the best of you.
It's their loss that they don't have you. Their loss. And Stanley's fault.
All Stanley's fault.
Don't get too attached to anything.
Ever.
I don't need him. He messed up my entire life, and I'm not going to let him get off scot-free when my future has been ruined. I can't trust anyone but myself to get me to where I'm destined to go. I am going places. I am destined to go places. I am going places. I am going places. I am going places...
Well, I did go places. I went to hundreds of dimensions, planets, and galaxies. But the ironic thing is, is that it was all because him. Stanley and mine's lives have been rooted in the things we have done to each other. And I survived for thirty years without a useless list. Or a home. Or family, or journals, or anything I ever knew. I was alone. I hated it. Every day I had arguments in my head with my estranged brother, every day I missed his stupid jokes and aggressive humor. Every. Single. Day. Eleven thousand, one hundred, and sixty eight days.
Twins are, by nature, special. But my brother and I, I suspect are different than most. Maybe Bill chose us because of that. Maybe he's the reason we're like this. When it comes down to it, all I hope is that Dipper and Mabel are never as stupid as we were. And I fear that I almost put them through the same thing. What was I thinking? Offering Dipper to throw away his very childhood?! His sister? My issues with my own sibling almost jeopardized his, and inadvertently caused an apocalypse. My eyes are getting heavy. The office is comfortably warm, and I can't think of the last time I took a nice long nap. I kick back my chair away from one of the Cipher tapestries that is in a heap on the floor, and pop my neck. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to rest my eyes… For just a second… Just a… GNSKNZZZZZZ...
Sweeeeet dreeaams siiixer…
You didn't actually think I was gone? Did you?
Ahaha, ahahaha, AHAHAHAHA! TOO GOOD!
THE IDIOT THINKS HIS TROUBLES WITH HIS BROTHER ARE OVER! HAHA! FAR FROM IT! OL' FISH FEZ IS A BETTER LIAR THAN HIS TWIN, SUCH AS WHEN HE FAKED MY DEATH! LITTLE STANLEY DOESN'T KNOW WHO HE IS, BUT HE SURE KNOWS WHO HIS GREAT AND ALL POWERFUL NIGHTTIME PUPPETEER IS! I AIN'T DONE WITH GOOD OL' 46'/ YET.
I'M OUT THERE… WAITING…
OH yA jUSt
kNOW wE'Ll MeET
aGAiN
sOMe sUnY dAY!
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Hohoho its the update fairy! leave a review and i will deliver a giant elk head to your door! true story! i may update this story again relatively soon... i may not. i will be posting the next human chapter tonight, probably. And don't unfollow any of my "ended" stories yet, i may post some bonus stuff that i have accumulated. peace out!