A Cold Snap
21.

There's a boy in the park showing off his magic tricks and Shinya thinks it's cool and silly at the same time and I think the same. Because we can see he is a little lonely on the inside, for all his smiles.

We're still standing there when he notices us. 'You in the orange hat, you wanna see this time?'

So he does remember me.

But no, I don't answer him. Not straight away. He's still a stranger and I like this new equilibrium. The sine wave's flattened out a bit. The sea's calmed. I've got a sun to keep me as liquid in a cup and I'm there to pour over him if he gets too hot.

Yutaka and I aren't a great match in siblings. Shinya and Takuya aren't either. Maybe Mother Nature got us mixed up. Or maybe all four of us needed to come together.

Or maybe we're not there yet and this is going to crack as well.

Maybe they'll get worse. Maybe they'll get better. Maybe there'll be a misunderstanding or miscommunication or words said that someone else just can't understand…

But muddling through all of that is what it means to grow up – and just sometimes, it's too soon and too fast and we can't go back.

But at other times we can. 'Sure.' My voice is still hoarse from disuse but it's getting there. 'Show us some magic tricks.'