Hey all, sad to say this isn't a chapter. I'll cut to the chase and tell you that I'm pretty much over this story. There's a lot that was wrong with it, but just for peace of mind I'd like to let this final chapter be something of an open letter of reflection and critique.

The Plot

The plot for the story I wanted to write was inspired off of Civil War. A villain would fight some inexperienced kids who just got their powers and it'd end in catastrophe due to their (the kids) lack of experience.

It would've been a splitting of character philosophies, directly putting The Team and superheroes as a whole at odds. Specifically, Max and Wally would have disagreements.

Max West, being an already influential person outside of his heroics (I'll explain this in a bit) and one of the most intelligent people of his generation would begin to put things in motion for a much broader, more efficient way to respond and prevent disasters. It would also keep untrained persons (superpowered or not) from acting and making things worse. That was the theory.

This system was mostly inspired by My Hero Academia. In my drafts, I have it simply called the Hero's Association. Max would devise a fully self-sufficient, government backed system that would outlaw the unauthorized use of powers.

People would be tested for the meta-gene and be placed in special schools or facilities to help them properly control their abilities. There would also be a 'hero school' of sorts, not unlike My Hero but not nearly as polished yet. There would be people all for this system and just as many against it. For those that thought it was smart, there were those that thought it was cruel. For everyone that sympathized with meta-humans, there was one that hated them.

The whole arc was supposed to be about turning the status quo on its head, and evolving the way heroes work in DC.

For the most part, Max would succeed. Crime rates would drop, collateral damage and civilian casualties would be less extreme. But it would be at the price of the world knowing his identity.

By this point in time, he'd be a rather well known inventor with a ton of good PR. That's why I had begun setting up the stuff with WayneTech, so that he could start making a name for himself as Max West. He'd use his public pull to give the movement for regulated superhero's some steam.

The Light would still be a major part in the story. With Max's identity public, I would have had them use their connections and ultimately kill his parents. The draft I had, used a bomb. Max would be there, unable to save his parents.

Kind of edgy and angsty, sure but I think a dramatic and entertaining consequence too. He changed the world, for the better some could argue, but at the cost of his parents and connection with his brother.

Then there was supposed to be this whole recovery arc (super short) where Miss. Martian helps sort him out and they get super close. She basically nurses him back to health (physically and emotionally). Max would then offer her a spot with him in the Hero's Association, this was kind of undecided for me. Either worked, but I wasn't sure what would be more fun for me.

The following 'arc' would be Max becoming almost obsessed with finding The Light. Or more specifically, the person that sent a bomb to his doorstep. Eventually he'd end up at an empty warehouse with The Team, where he'd find out that Red Arrow was the guy that actually delivered the bomb to his doorstep (still under whatever brain washing The Light had done to him).

Not only that but The Team would have known it was Red Arrow for a few months by now, and chose not to say anything. The whole thing would have resulted in an explosive battle that would end with Max basically getting jumped by Wally and Robin. I actually had this whole piece written out, but ended up deleting it. Not sure why.

And then we'd be at season 2 with a whole new superhero society. Max would be a bit colder and more authoritative. He'd have realized that despite his near perfect handmade system, perfect just didn't exist. The world wasn't so black and white anymore, it was a much more even shade of gray that he tried to define.

It wouldn't end with a reconciliation, but he'd save Wally from fading into nothingness.

The last arc would take place before season 3 and Max was supposed to die (NO HAPPY ENDING LMAO). I never got around to writing anything, but in my head it was always an invasion of some kind. A Kryptonian invasion, a Darkseid invasion, or whatever. Not sure, but it was supposed to be like Jiraiya's death. Sometimes it was an assassination by The Light, mf'er just got jumped by the seven of em'.

My Critique

There's so much just wrong with the story that I don't know if I'll be able to hit everything.

But first and foremost, I didn't plan this out nearly enough and you can tell. There's just tons of inconsistencies and things I just straight up ignored.

Next was the telling style. I firmly believe that this would've been much more enjoyable, written and read from a first person perspective. There's a lot of thinking and monologue that would have made the story just a much better experience without being 'he said she said'.

I also should've played around with other perspectives. Artemis was supposed to be a large part of the story, and so was Wally but I completely ignored them, simply because I didn't really know how to include it.

I guess this goes back to planning, but I really wanted this world to be a blend. I wanted there to be plenty of Superheroes I could pick from when we got to my part of the story. It's why I mentioned Power Girl in chapter two or something. Then it kinda just fell apart because I got too caught up in trying to follow the animations story.

And then lastly, reading back was a bit too angsty for me. I said it before and I'll say it again, I stand by my creative direction BUT it could definitely be executed better. Much much better.


You know, I'm no romance writer (or writer in general) but I don't think my dialogue is bad. And I rather liked the pacing I was taking for making a relationship with Max and Artemis. Most of you knew I was shooting for a pairing with Artemis, it was very obvious since she joined. Not only because I really like her character, but because I thought she would help Max grow into the person I wanted him to become.

Artemis could have very well been the end pairing, but in most cases she wasn't. In most write ups I had, she left Max for Wally. If I had Miss. Martian join the Hero's Association, it would've been a pairing with her. I was leaning more toward a Supergirl though, or maybe someone from out of dc entirely. At one point I had Cassie Cage lined up lmao.

But for me, romance is about progressing the story and developing characters. It was never about ships or anything like that, so there were many times where I just found myself fudging a pairing all together. Max was supposed to be a successful, handsome, young man. Who's to say he even wanted to have a steady relationship? Maybe he would prefer the Bruce Wayne playboy route, although he'd be much more modest.

Shit, I blew the kids parents up and gave him the burns to prove it. He deserves to have a few ladies throw themselves at him. Least I could do, ah?

Wrapping it up

I probably won't come back to this, and I don't have the patience for a rewrite. But I've learned a ton from this project and there's no shortage of stories in my head. So if I come back to this section, it'll probably be with an entirely different character.

Thank you everyone who took the time to read and leave a review for me. I didn't write this for anyone else but myself, however it was always flattering to see a review or a follow.

Also please don't hesitate to let me know what you as a reader found difficult to read or any critique you'd like to share.

If there's a next time, I'll see you then!