"A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in."

~Robert Orben


"Where are we?" I ask Esdeath as she stares up at the sunny atmosphere.

"Wherever we are, it's a nice place." She muses as she taps her chin. Her eyes glint as she leers at me. "Do you want to test if this place is real?"

"I know that it is-" her lips touch my lips as we stand there in place for a solid half a minute. She breaks free of the liplock with her tongue slightly out as I stand there in shock. She've done it a couple of

"Yep, it's real alright." she casually remarks with a slight smirk as she walks away from me. "But just why is Syura doing there?"

"We should probably check what Syura meant by clean up," I say as I jog after her.

Esdeath holds the palm of her hand against the sandy floor. A column of ice appears under us as we ascend quickly. "Yes, we are on an island," Esdeath says as there is nothing but blue ocean around us.

"You know I could've flown up?" I ask as I float mid-air with my fire wings to prove a point.

"Well yes. But it's more romantic for the both of us to be up here looking peacefully at the glistening ocean." Esdeath swoons before hugging me, using her ice powers to cool my wings.

"I guess it is," I say before looking at the hulking abomination that is rising from the ocean. Summoning Kanshou and Bakuya, I throw them at the Danger Beast that is looking right at us.

"I didn't know that Colossal Danger Beasts even exists!" Esdeath gasps with shocked eyes before the beast starts to roar from the married blades embedding themselves within its chest. The twin paos are able to sink deeply into its skin because of its anti-monster properties.

The Danger Beast has a bandaged head with tubing coming out of it. It's entire right arm is that of a giant robot and there is a giant "1" stamped over its heart. The worst thing is that there is what appears to be a mummified man poking out of its forehead. That's a horrid fate. I bet that I can heal him…. Maybe. Anyway, he probably deserves a less ignoble resting place if he's dead.

Erghh, I have to either use one of my more overt Noble Phantasms or generate way more flames to deal with this.

"It's heading our way." Esdeath reports as she clasps her hands together, "I have no time for such hindrances." A storm of ice shards appears behind her.

"Weiss SCHNABEL!" Esdeath howls as the shards launch at the monster, forcing it to hunker down and tank the ice fragments.

"Hmmm, how unexpectedly tough. This may be interesting." She glances at the beast giving us the dirty look with its one eye and kneeling down. TRACE ON!

Esdeath bends backward with a shocked expression as an enormous sword slam straight into the Danger Beast's face.

"Ig-ALIMA!" I shout as I coat the mountain-falling sword with flames as it burns through the skull of the now howling monster.

"What?" Esdeath breathes out as she stares at the blade in utter confusion.

"Go for the mummy poking out of its forehead. The skull is extremely tough." I say, not letting her continue her thought process. The Danger Beast's skull is actually just taking the sword, only forced to bow down as the sword's heavyweight is pushing the head down.

"Grauhorn!" Esdeath slams her palm against the icy surface of the column before a sharpened platform of ice rapidly approaches the spot, only for the mummified being to dodge out the way. Can't we see that we are trying to end your suffering?

"How tenacious." Esdeath remarks as she has that smile on her face. The one that Illya had when she found out that only she and I were at home one day. That was a traumatizing experience.

I summon Archer's black bow and Hrunting and nock the sword-arrow. "Soar, Hound of the Red Plains, Hrunting!" Firing the bloody-red arrow, it goes screaming into the head of the being, instantly killing it.

"Ho, what an interesting weapon you have there, Shirou." Esdeath looks at my bow before the column collapses on itself and I see a much smaller version of the colossal danger beast that we just fought tackle the base of the frozen spire.

"You know, I wanted to show off against an ultra-large enemy like that one, but I'll just take this one instead," Esdeath yells as she jumps straight off the platform and slams a glacier into the Danger Beast's body, crushing it as flat as a pancake. "Hagel Sprung!" She lands on the ground and looks back at Shirou with a smile on her face.

"That was cool, Esdeath." I praise her as she appears to spring up in happiness. I guess that she really wants a vacation. I jump down, reinforcing my limbs as I land on the sand as the rest of the ice construct melts down by the fire that I inserted into it.

"So, how exactly did you do that if you have Michael's Soul as your teigu?" Esdeath sidles against me, her breasts pressed against my back.

"Magic?" I say as I hold my hands up. Hopefully, she takes it as a joke and leaves it at that.

"Really? It is a plausible reason. After all, no technology can do what you just did." Shit.

"Sigh. Well, it's really called magecraft. My magecraft allows me to sympathize with and reproduce any weapon that I see." I say.

"Huh, that makes sense. I always notice that you flinch whenever you look at my rapier or Yatsufusa." Esdeath says. She really noticed that?

"So, can you show me some of the weapons?" Esdeath asks as her fingers tap along my neck. Is she trying to seduce me in order to see my swords? Wow.

"Are you really sure that this island is removed from the Empire?" I ask. I doubt that Esdeath will report this to the Prime Minister since she sees him as a pig, and we are on an "abandoned" island.

"Oh, I don't recognize this place. In addition, the Empire hasn't really expanded that much into the ocean since there isn't that much to see nor conquer. I think there were a few explorers who bring back recordings of exotic species, but that was about it." Esdeath shrugs before sitting down on the smaller Danger Beast's corpse in anticipation.

"Fine," I answer after a brief moment of thought. But which weapon to show her? I doubt that she'll be interested in holy swords, seeing as she only respects…. Strength. Trace On.

A crimson spear appears in my hand with metallic ivy crawling over its surface. An intense feeling of bloodlust fills the atmosphere as I warily look at the spear. After being killed by the spear, I went to read Cu Chulainn's myth and let me say, it was interesting. He was a fantastic archetype of a hero, last stand, superhuman feats and such. But he is very much a battle-hungry man, evident in his transformation.

"Oh, Shirou." Esdeath looks at the spear with intrigue. She takes it in her hand and spins it out, "And it's quite balanced."

"You know how to use a spear?" I ask as I see her just feel the spear.

"If I'm bored and there are no victims, I just teach myself other weapons than my rapier." Esdeath admits as she stands up and goes through a couple of stances, "It's been a while since I wielded one, but this weapon is so good. What is it?"

"It's called Gae Bolg. And it's the weapon that led the wound that you saw in my heart." I respond as she sticks it into the sand.

"It's quite intriguing. However, is this weapon like a teigu? I feel a sort of…. Presence similar to a teigu in it." Esdeath muses as she looks at the designs on the weapon.

"Yes. They're called Noble Phantasms." I say, "This spear will reverse causality so that the heart is struck, so the spear is swung truly."

"That is awesome," Esdeath says before it disperses into blue motes of light.

"So, I doubt that Syura is going to teleport us back. We may as well build a shelter." I say before walking away and tracing an ax to chop down some trees.

"I'll be with you!" Esdeath cries out as she jogs after me, "We'll also need to hunt for food."

"Sure," I say as I utilize Alteration and Reinforcement in order to build a rudimentary hut while utilizing various tools of expert carpenters that I gleaned from. It does feel nice to exercise my Magic Circuits after only really using my teigu and tracing the twin paos.

Both of us delve into the jungle to hunt for food and just to explore the place. Why do I not have any teleporting weapons! Oh right, because most of what I have is gleaned from Gilgamesh's hall, and he never actually used something like that. Why is my Reality Marble refusing to record Shambhala?

It is fun exploring with her. The two of us went through the jungle, encounter interesting wildlife, slaughter said wildlife, she tried to seduce me… again, I cook a crab inside out when its claw gripped my finger. Fun times. I wonder what Illya is doing? Oh, what happens if she only wants to eat my food and refuses to eat anyone else's? What if someone tries to take advantage of her? What happens if…. What happens if she gets hurt? Fuck, I have to get bac….. Her teigu exists.

"You know that Illya is strong. She can probably take care of whatever you said." Esdeath says with a sigh. We are sitting on the beach under the night sky by a crackling flame that I had lit on fire.

"Oh, and I have determined that we are truly far south," Esdeath says with a gleeful expression on her face.

"Huh, is it because of the stars?"

"It's because of the st- yes. The positions are too out of line than at the Capital." Esdeath explains as she points at various stars. "More importantly, do you know what that means, Shirou?"

"What?" I ask as I make the fire born a little stronger to cook the strips of meat that were skewered on a branch that I altered. I wish I can trace herbs.

"It means… that you and I are the only two people on this uninhabited island." She says with a heavy blush.

Oh no. "So, what do you want to do?" Esdeath asks with a coy expression as she decides to slowly loosen her uniform. It's sort of hard to not notice it, as she is leaning onto me like Sakura used to do. Why me?

"Err, just sit here and wait for the meat to cook?" I answer.

"Sigh, it's just like you. I have an idea on how to get back." Esdeath states as she gets up and starts to walk away, "We should probably visit the location where we were first deposited."

"Well, let me finish cooking these," I say as I casually flip the strips of boar once more. I chose not to destroy the hut because we may need it. Or at least someone else who may get stranded.

"Fine." Esdeath answers after a long pause as she goes back down and sits by me. We're almost sitting side by side as we observe the strips slowly brown.

"We should get to know each other." I remark, "We've never actually talked about our backstories."

"It'll be fantastic for us to get to know each other." Esdeath smiles while she starts to hug me. "How about you start first?"

And so I obliged, telling her about the boy lost in flames and was saved by an extraordinary fool.

"That…. Was interesting." Esdeath says as I conclude my death to the Holy Grail, "And I was right, you are strong." Her eyes convey a sense of glee at my many fights and achievements.

"Thanks?" I scratch the back of my head as I look at her.

"Now let me tell you my story." Esdeath smiles at me before launching into her own diatribe. My internal horror can only grow as I realize just what she thinks. She's….. Distorted, like me. That's not a joke. Someone who's entire self was put to ice because of that one ideal, the belief that she strives to always be at the top of. I can't even retort her, because Rin tried to and I ignored her argument, so what chance do I have to try and change her. Hell, when she talked about her taming the Teigu, that shows the unchanging nature of her soul, like my iron-clad own.

"The meat's done," I say as I stand up to take one of the sticks and give them to her. She thanks me and takes a bite into it, sighing as she sits there.

"We should probably check what I was thinking about," Esdeath says as she gets up.

"Sure." I grab the rest of the sticks and give another one to her and keep the last two for myself.

"So, I think that Syura's teigu most likely has to mark the location that it teleports its victims to, therefore, I believe that there is a mark there that we can use to teleport home if he were to ever reactivate it."

"Huh, I do remember the teigu requiring that, but what happens if he doesn't do it ever?" I ask as she points up in the air.

"We take a ride on one of the Danger Beasts," she says as she points at the Air Manta, "It'll take a long time, but we'll reach the Capital at one point."

I then see something purple glow ahead of us. Crap, it must be activating. I grab Esdeath, who doesn't complain and reinforce my legs, speeding up before just barely catching the circle as it explodes into smoke and purplish light.


Oh. We're back on the summit.

"We're back home," I shout happily as Esdeath gracefully jumps out of my hold.

"Why yes we are." she says with a smile, "why don't we go home?"

She looks so happy to be with me. It feels nice.


Cute. Anyway, I have to write a Beowulf-esque epic for English class, so that's fun. Have a nice Memorial Day y'all!