Akutagawa fought to keep his eyes open.
The enemy in front of him looked no more than a mass of colors, whirling behind a set of spinning gear that kept multiplying.
He wanted to close his eyes. Shut out the distracting colors.
A severe headache was creeping up on him, again.
There was pain in his right arm, blooming like a flower, unravelling.
The gears won't go away. The headache kept coming.
He couldn't scream. It felt like the sound was trapped in his throat.
He can't see anything except the gears, the numerous gears laying atop one another, spinning, spinning...
"What happened to you... Akutagawa-senpai..." A shaking voice whisper beside him. The headache was gone. The gears were gone.
The pain in his arm hasn't gone away, and it seems he also got beaten, quite badly. Gunshots? Ability Users?
He heaved a sigh, and open his eyes.
Higuchi was there, and he realized the shaking voice wasn't just in his own head.
"Senpai!" She exclaimed, taking hold of his hand.
He struggled to sit up, and she helped with a certain reluctance.
"What happened?" he inquired after successfully leaning against the hard pillow, and Higuchi settled in her seat beside the bed. And she replied him with all the professional tone of giving a report.
"The mission was a success, senpai, though ghastly overdone. The rival gang was completely eliminated, instead of just intimidated. Half of our own men were dead before you went unconscious. The others all sustain injuries. The wound on your arm was by the enemy in the moment before... your explosion."
Akutagawa blinked. Explosion?
He reached to his midsection and found bandages instead of skin. He tried probing for location of injuries.
Gunshot wound. Left side.
"Only the wound in my right arm was made by the enemy?"
So Rashoumon went on a rampage, and the others were trying to stop him. Akutagawa looked at his kouhai, and noticed bandages everywhere.
It was he, who hurt them, after all. He, who couldn't control his own stupid symptoms. He, who was too weak to protect anyone, much less restrain from destroying them.
No wonder Dazai-san chose the weretiger.
No wonder he was never loved, never has anything like anybody.
He really shouldn't have taken those people with him. They died because of him. They were injured because of him. They deserved better than him.
"I'm tired of all your face. Get out of here, and don't come to work today, or I'll kill all of you. Tell the others."
Higuchi has a shocked look on her face, then it changed to sadness, but she walked away nonetheless.
In the empty, sterile room, the most fearsome member of the Port Mafia wept.
Shortly before he killed himself, the historic Akutagawa Ryuunosuke wrote a short story "Spinning Gear" describing a vision of gears multiplying and turning in his eyes, even when he closes them. He saw only bad omens for a time, and then decided to take the pills. That short story was published posthumously.
I thought the historic event quite a good plot for a story itself, so here that story is, and hopefully my dear favourite character wouldn't kill himself - or wouldn't succeed lol