- You know, my sisters say that on a scale of 1 to 10, I'm literally an 11.
- Oh. Really?
- Yeah. Because I'm in fifth grade. I'm literally 11. Yeah, don't let the white hair fool you!
- Hahahahaha! Oh, you're so funny!…And that's how she's gonna laugh! Trust me, Lincoln, you're gonna kill it with this one. I also love that thing about your white hair you added.
- I don't know, Luan. This isn't exactly what I had in mind. I mean, it's clear I'm not an 11, but it also sounds like I'm less and I don't care! Aren't I…downgrading myself?
- No, you're laughing at yourself. And girls love a guy who does that! It's something everybody needs to learn these days, with all the drama and stress in relationships. Yeesh!
- Ugh! I don't want to be a joke, Luan!…Look, I get it. It is kinda funny. But I was thinking…mmmaybe it would be better if I'm a little more serious about this dating thing?
- Oh, see? This is what I was talking about. All this drama and stress and seriousness! Lincoln, you are a funny kid! You said yourself your friends love your sense of humor. What, did you hear somebody at school talking about some "serious dating" technique?
- N-No…I just have been thinking about it…And that's the thing! It's okay with friends. It would be okay if I was talking to a friend. But I don't wanna tell this to a girl I…you know, really like. What if she thinks I'm only joking with her? Because this sounds like what the guy who doesn't get dates on movies usually says! What if it backfires?! What if I lower my chances?!
- Okay, okay, don't lose your mind yet, Mr. Girls Expert!…don't know when THAT happened.
- I'm sorry, Luan. I appreciate your help, but I think I need something better.
- Is that so? Well, too bad…Hmmm…Hehe, but you know, it's a shame to leave a good joke untold. So here's an idea: Why don't you try this with Ronnie Anne?
- R-Ronnie Anne?
- Yeah, it'll be okay because she's just a friend. That's what you're always saying, right?
- …uh, no but…eh, I mean yes. She's my…friend.
- Then let's call her now!...with your phone!
- Hey!
- Wow, so many conversations with her. You two must be really good friends…or…oh my gosh, Lincoln! Don't tell me she and you-
- She's not my girlfriend!
- …Hehe, I wasn't gonna say that word, Lincoln.
- I…Look, she's just a close friend, okay?
- Not so close now, huh?!
- Luan, please!
- Fine. I get it. She's a friend. But wow! For a moment, I thought you liked her in secret, and you were afraid of telling her this awesome joke because it could "lower your chances" with her.
- Come one, Luan. That is not the case at all.
- Perfect. Then she will love to hear it, and you have nothing to worry about!
- …Ok, give me that!
- Ow! Lincoln, what gives?!
- I-I'm sorry! But…uh, s-she won't answer because…she told me her phone fell into a sewer…and she hasn't bought a new one yet.
- …Ok, I'll call her uncle's house. Got the number here in my phone.
- W-what…how did you get that…
- Ah, this one is working.
- AHH! We can't call now!
- Hey!
- …Haha! You know? It's funny, Luan. I just remembered. I promised Lynn I would buy her a new soccer ball! Because I got her old one into the river when we were practicing long shots. We are going downtown right now, to "Good Sport Sporting Goods".
- Didn't you guys do that yesterday?
- No! It was today!
- Well, I guess it can't be helped then. Ronnie would've laughed until drooling all over herself. You know, like she does.
- Yeah! she would've loved it, haha!…Yeah, it's a shame, Luan. It was, uh, actually funny…and punny, right? Haha, really nice job, Luan!
- …Wow, that's new from you.
- What?
- Well, usually when I tell a joke, the only thing I get from you guys are groans, and maybe some face palms, and the occasional ball in the head from Lynn. But this time, you said it was funny, and you even tried to be funny. That's really new material from you.
- …uh…
- Yeah, you have no idea how satisfying is for a comedienne to know her work is appreciated, at least once in a year.
- …Luan…we…we didn't…we didn't-
- I know you didn't. In fact, you have NEVER! Hahahahaha!
- No…please, we did't mean to-
- Oh! But I know what you did mean! Haha! I know that you MEAN good to me! You guys always MEAN so good to me! Hahahahaha!
- …I didn't know you were still feeling that way…
- …
- We…I'm…I'm so-
- Gotcha!
- …what?
- Oh my. Oh my, I'm tearing up already! I'm sorry, Lincoln. That was really mean from me…Oh, hahaha! Oh man…
- …but…you weren't just…
- Sorry, I had to take the chance. A comedienne has to be ready to turn anything into laughing matter. Are you fine, little bro?
- …Oh…y-yes…so…so you were just kidding?
- Of course, Lincoln. I know perfectly well you guys think I'm really funny and love my material, just like Lori said that time. You just show your love in an odd way.
- …Yeah, it's…complicated…so, you sure you're fine?
- Yup. Can I get my phone back?
- ...Oh, right. Here.
- Because it seems you have some minutes before you go. We can call Ronnie before Lynn gets here.
- …but Luan-
- Hi! This is Luan Loud! Is Ronnie Anne home?
- …L-Lynn is waiting for me in the front yard! I'll call Ronnie later! Bye!
(Lincoln vanishes from Luan's room, and then she hears cartoon racket coming from the hall, stairs and kitchen - she goes to her window and sees Lynn practicing with her soccer ball in the backyard - Lincoln slowly walks to her and kicks the ball so high in the sky it could easily get to Detroit)
- What the…Lincoln what the heck?!
- Sorry. Let's go. We're buying you a new soccer ball.
- But that one was new!
- I'm buying you a newer one.
- …Uh, really?…Well, if you do pay for it, I guess I can't complain…But you didn't have to kick my ball like that!
- Yes. I had to.
- You're being weird, bro. More than usual…Can we get the really pricey one with the red and white marks?
- Yes.
- Oh yeah! Score! Thanks, Lincoln! Hey, nice kick by the way. I think you sent that thing all the way to Detroit.
(Luan smiles as they disappear around the corner of the house)
- Aw, little brother. So in love…and denial.
(She looks at her phone, and realizes she's still calling "Ronnie Anne's house", also known as the pizza restaurant - she hangs up)
- Don't worry, I know you guys really think I'm funny.
…
Because you wouldn't lie…right?