Chapter 09 Brown Smelly Stuff & the Rotary Oscillating Cooling Device

Disclaimer: I like women too much to even think about being JK Rowling. This chapter was written with the aid of Neale, my Australian friend and an author also found on . Check out:



Hermione's future knowledge had changed so much now it was no longer relevant to current situations. Harry and the goblins had explored the Chamber of Secrets and found several things they were sure Voldemort never found. They broke down a wall, then found a passage way up to a secret door in the Room of Requirement. The goblins found that the password was a phrase in Gaelic that said, "The King Cobra eats the Black Mamba."

In the room with the broken wall were many books written in Parseltongue. Since Voldemort was the only Parselmouth known in the world, other than Harry, the books were of no value to the goblins. To Harry they were worth more than gold. He found spells that caused a ghost like snake that would chase an enemy for over a hundred feet, even if the target Apparated.

The Apparation distance didn't factor in to the distance the snake chased it's target. You could run fifty feet, Apparate a hundred miles away, and still be chased the remaining fifty feet. Harry had other spells he was learning from the books they had found there too. Parsel spells, like the Unforgivables, could not be blocked by a spell. If the target was as, or more, powerful than the caster, the spell could be stopped with a Parsel Finiti.

The conjured snakes had no venom, however, enough bites and the victim could bleed to death. There may not be venom in the bite but it was hard to seal the wound. Especially when there were more snakes coming at you as you were trying to stop the bleeding.

October 31, 1996 was the first time Voldemort attacked Hogwarts. Dumbledore had been removed as headmaster so Volde thought it would be easy to take the school and get rid of Harry Potter once and for all. The battle lasted for hours. Because of Harry's training the D A was able to fight the dark army to a stand still. The dark army lost several more combatants than Hogwarts forces did.

Voldemort was frustrated and getting desperate. He blasted a hole in the wards and called a retreat. He was so tired from the vicious battle with Harry that his shield around Nagini slipped as he grabbed his portkey. Neville still had the sorting hat on his head and it dropped the sword of Gryffindor on his head as it had Harry down in the Chamber. Neville swung and hit the snake just behind it's head as it tried to bite one of the D A members. As the snake was being killed, Voldemort was swept away by his port key.

At the start of the battle Ron had run for the castle saying he had to see his mum to get something to eat. After the battle he was found in the hospital wing. His nose kept bleeding and after madam Pomfrey healed it and turned to help another patient Ron would start bleeding again.

Luna had badly sprained her ankle while dodging a Killing Curse so Harry and Hermione were going to see her. Harry soon realized what Ron was doing, in his anger he summoned the Nosebleed Nougats from Ron's pocket. Pomfrey was upset with the arse, he had caused a delay in treating others that had actually been hurt.

Even then Ron tried to claim he had helped drive Voldemort away. Several of the Slytherins could remember Ron running for the castle just as the battle started. Others from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw also remembered Ron running away. When some one who had been in the Hospital Wing mentioned Ron using Nosebleed Nougats in order to stay there, no one believed he was anything but a coward.

Dumbledore sneaked onto Hogwarts grounds while he was invisible and was following Harry and Volde around as they fought. He was so obsessed with the fight and ready for Harry to die so he could step in and kill Voldemort so he could be the great hero again he forgot to keep his spell on himself.

Amelia saw him slowly become visible and she started following him as he followed Harry and Voldemort as they fought. Voldemort was obviously exhausted, he blew a hole in the wards and called retreat. Harry was so angry he didn't even think. With a roar of rage he reached out and his hand blurred. His whole arm seemed to sink into what ever it was that made his hand blur.

With another roar Harry yanked his arm back and Amelia was surprised when Voldemort also came back with Harry's arm. Dumbledore could only stare at what he, KNEW, was impossible. When he recovered he could tell that Harry was soon going to defeat Tom. Dumbledore could not allow that to happen. He raised his wand and began the Killing Curse.

Amelia wasn't about to let the real hero die by such a traitorous action. She stunned the old man as Harry and voldemort continued their duel. Volde tried to grab Hermione as she was dueling Lucius and Draco at the same time. Harry wanted to help her but he had his own duel to handle, but he could blast Volde away from Hermione.

Voldemort was slow getting up from where Harry had blasted him. He couldn't stand straight and his breathing was labored. Harry heard Lucius scream, but he was not able to look to see what was happening. Voldemort was trying to cast another Killing Curse at Harry.

Hermione was surprised that she was able to handle both father and son. It was a tough fight, but she was holding her own, until Draco cast a killing curse. With Luna, Daphne, and Tracy battling Bella on her other side, Hermione couldn't move out of the way. Draco and Lucius both began to laugh.

Right up until Hermione conjured a large mirror between herself and Draco. The blond, recently branded, new Death Eater froze in place in shock and his own spell claimed his life. Lucius stumbled toward his son and the cutting spell Hermione had cast at his wand arm caught him in the neck instead. Malfoy's scream was, (no pun intended) cut off as his head rolled from his shoulders.

"How dare you hurt me like that!" Voldemort yelled, but rather weakly. "I am the greatest," Harry cut him off there. "You claim you're the greatest, Dumbledore claims he's the greatest, but it looks to me like you're running empty Tom." Harry told the man, if you could even call him a man.

"If you manage to kill me Potter, I'll just come back even more powerful than I am now. I can no longer die, I'll just keep coming back." No Tom. You won't be coming back this time. We got all your soul jars. Nagini was the last and she died as you tried to save yourself."

For the first time in years Riddle knew fear. Adrenaline fueled his next Killing Curse and the power of it took Harry by surprise as it caught him. Harry fell in a heap in front of a cackling Riddle. He turned to the three fighting Bella when it looked like she was going to be overcome by their numbers.

Riddle raised his wand but Bella gasped and the look on her face turned from delight that her master was going to destroy these worthless animals that dared to oppose her master to horror and shock. Voldemort turned to see what caused his most fearless Death Eater to look so scared.

Harry was climbing back to his feet. His hair was smoking as was his robes but he was soon standing again. "Is that all you have left Tom? If that's it you're a dead... What exactly are you now anyway? I saw you naked when you came out of that cauldron and I can honestly say, you are no man.

"You can't claim to be the heir of Slytherin, actually you never could after I had a heritage test done at Gringotts. You see they were right back in my second year when almost everybody was calling me the heir of Slytherin. My mother was descended from Salazar and Helga while my dad was descended from Godric and Rowena. You on the other hand were descended from Salazar and Helga's youngest daughter who married into the Gaunt family.

"My mother was the first female in the line from Salazar himself, so I'm the rightful heir of Slytherin. You were only ever a pretender to the name. You murdered my mother who had more of your precious Slytherin blood than you did and tried to kill the rightful heir while falsely claiming my heritage. Not to mention you were the half-blood bastard son of Salazar's youngest daughter's line, and you only pretended to be one of your oh so precious Pure-bloods."

While Harry was explaining all that to Riddle, Hermione was getting the D A members out from between Harry and Bella. She knew Riddle was getting beyond angry and she knew she, Harry's best friend, not Harry would be Riddle's next target. Sure enough, Riddle spun around as he screamed, "AVADA KEDAVRA!" only to gasp as he saw that the target was not who he expected, but Bella that fell to his curse.

He saw Hermione and the D A members had gotten out of the way. "Bombarda Maxima!" Harry yelled as Volde spun back to face the true heir of the great Salazar Slytherin. How had all his plans gone so wrong. "Curse you H," Riddle never got to finish his cursing Harry. The blasting hex hit as Riddles wand tip light up with another spell.

All over the battlefield screams were heard. Riddle's magical construct was blasted apart, but the wraith was drawing magic and the very life force out of his marked followers. They were dropping like bugs caught in a cloud of insecticide. Not another spell was cast on the battlefield. There was no need. The dark army was self destructing all around the defenders.

The goblin king himself walked over to Harry and said, "Well Harry, how does it feel to be the richest being on earth?" Harry started to answer before his mind processed the king's words. "It feels... what? What did you ask me?" the king grinned up at his young friend and explained. "You aren't just the richest human on the planet my young friend. You are the richest being, living or undead on earth.

"By Right of Conquest, you own, every thing, that Voldemort owned. Since his followers allowed themselves to be branded like farm animals, he owned them. Anything, everything, they owned is now yours. Including all the surviving members of their families.

"All monies, jewels, lands, animals, everything, they owned he owned. By Right of Conquest you now own it all. So my young friend, congratulations. You are rich beyond the dreams of avarice." Harry stood there staring down at the king in open-mouthed shock.

"But... but I don't want to own people!" He finally exclaimed. The king just kept grinning up at him as he began to explain to the young human just what he had and what he could do with it. The next day they sat down in Ragnock's office and began to finalize their plans.

The Wizengamot had no choice, with Harry's three proxies holding well over half the votes they were forced to remove almost all the laws that were added to those laid down by Merlin when he founded the Wizengamot to keep the people from trying to make him king. Harry faced something similar in his life now. But he took his wives and moved to Isla Nagras which was hidden in the Bermuda Triangle.

Magical Britain was dragged kicking and screaming into the twentieth, and then the twenty first century. Dumbledore's magic was bound and he was sent to a Muggle mental institution. He died of old age a few years later.

AN: It's done. Sorry, I found out I don't write battles very well. I hope you enjoyed the journey and I hope I didn't step on your toes too hard. Sorry for the long wait, but I really struggled with the battle. Again I thank my friend Neale for all his help.