11One day me, the narrator told the Broadway musical Newsies about the 1992 version of Newsies. Here's how they reacted,
*I walk into the room*
Narrator: So guys have you ever seen the 1992 version of Newsies?
Jack: There's another version?
Narrator: Yes, there was a movie made in 1992
Race: I think you're lying
*holds up a copy of the movie*
Race: I stand corrected.
Jack: So nothing's different?
Narrator: Actually a lot of things are different.
Spot: Like what
Narrator: first of all Katherine doesn't exist.
Katherine: WHAT! How come I don't exist! I helped them win the strike! Ever heard of the children's crusade!
Narrator: you are replaced by a man named Brian Denton
*shows clips of Brian Denton*
Romeo: who's Denton?
Narrator: him
*points to clips*
Katherine: his face is ugly
Jack: So what else is different?
Narrator: Davey and Les have a sister.
Davey: Since when do we have a sister?
*holds up picture*
Les: I have never seen her in my life.
Davey: why exactly do we have a sister?
Narrator: she is the love interest for Jack
Katherine: don't tell me they kiss
*narrator nods head*
Katherine: YOU KISSED HER!
Jack: that wasn't me!
Katherine: how dare you.
*Katherine starts to angrily chase jack*
*jack screams like a little girl*
Narrator: GUYS! Calm down.
Race: So what else.
Narrator: well Pulitzer is still the same but he says that when you guys were striking you were daring to yyyyyeeeeeeee.
Race: what does it mean to yyyyyyeeeeee?
*shrugs shoulders*
Narrator: maybe I should just show you guys what you look like and that will help clear things up
*narrator takes out a bunch of pictures and sets them down in front of the Newsies*
Romeo: where's me, where's me?
Narrator: I'm actually not sure if you are in this
Romeo: why not?
*pouts dejectedly in the corner*
Spot: why am I blond?
Race: you look so handsome
*smacks Race angrily with cane*
*Delancey brothers walk in and see their picture*
Morris: why are we so ugly?
Race: so nothing has changed
Oscar: shut it
Crutchie: my crutch looks so weak. I could never walk with that.
Narrator: actually the Crutchie in the movie dances a lot
Crutchie: then how come he has a crutch?
Narrator: I wonder that sometimes too.
Jack: how come I'm not in blue, blue compliments my eyes
Katherine: he's better looking than you
Jack: no need to be salty
Narrator: Also you don't draw
Jack: this movie is awful
*narrator puts DVD in a player and plays movie*
*Starts singing carrying the banner*
Race: Last time I checked I could dance better than that.
Spot: no you can't
*Race steals cane and smacks Spot with it*
Crutchie: I bet that guy is faking the limp, he's dancing way too much
Albert: yeah, last time your crutch got stolen I had to carry you like a little baby
*Spot smacks Albert with cane*
Albert: Hey! What was that for!
Spot: shh
Davey: There I am!
*Spot smacks Davey with cane*
Spot: shh
*Jack starts to sing Santa Fe*
Davey: you are so terrible, like where is the power note?
Jack: For the last time that isn't me
Race: your dancing is still terrible, well you dance less in ours. Because you are terrible.
*Smacks Race lightly up the head*
*Jack jumps on the horse*
Davey: that is so random, why is there a horse in the middle of the streets of New York?
Narrator: it's Disney, they can do whatever they want
*Medda starts to sing*
Jack: that is not Medda
Narrator: Yes it is
Jack: Medda is not the kind of person who would sing that song, she is a sass queen and she sings songs about being a sass queen
Narrator: she has a better song later
Jack: she better
*later seize the day starts*
Jack: Davey you are so pitchy
Davey: what the heck happened to my vibrato?
*narrator shrugs shoulders*
Race: seriously this dancing is terrible
Elmer: I like the cans, why didn't we get more a drum beat?
Jack: because we are better than cans
Race: I want to go back in time and fix this dancing
*Crutchie gets grabbed by the Delancey's and taken to the refuge*
Crutchie: he got off easy
(Crutchie is still salty about the refuge)
*King of New York starts*
Jack: what the heck, I wasn't there for that. I was busy being angsty and painting.
Race: you are always being angsty
Narrator: you're not wrong
*Spot smacks narrator with cane*
*Narrator steals cane and snaps it in half*
Narrator: that's enough out of you
*Spot looks he's about to kill the narrator but she doesn't care*
Narrator: Just watch the movie Spot
Spot: I'm trying
Race: I don't like this movie at all
Albert: We're aware
Jack: shh something important is happening
*everyone stares intently at the screen*
Mush: what's happening?
*everyone shushes him*
*screen pans to Jack in scab clothes, all the Newsies start to yell*
Race: how could you!
Crutchie: you're better than that!
Elmer: I hate you!
*All the newsies start to tackle Jack in a dog pile style*
Les: look!
*Everyone looks at the screen to see Davey trying to tackle Jack*
Race: Atta boy Davey!
*all the newsies start to clap Davey on the back*
*Once and for all starts*
Race: seriously what happened to all the power.
Elmer: yeah, by the time that song was over you should have been able to have the motivation to overthrow like four countries
*all the newsies face the narrator*
Newsies: why did you do this?
*narrator shrugs shoulders*
*everyone sees Crutchie coming back from the refuge*
Crutchie: he got off so easy! There isn't a scratch on him!
(Crutchie is still very salty about the refuge)
*everyone sees Jack leaving*
Race: you have a small redemption because you actually didn't leave us
Jack: Gee thanks Race
*they see Jack coming back*
Buttons: Hey you did come back!
*everyone sees Jack and Sarah kissing*
*Katherine kicks TV screen breaking the TV*
Katherine: I'm done
*narrator pops movie out of the player*
Narrator: so what did you guys think?
Spot: that is the worst thing I've ever witnessed.
Race: guess I won't dare to yyyyyyeeee again.
Jack: I'm never wearing red
Katherine: I'm never speaking to Jack again
*Jack puts an arm around Katherine*
Jack: you know you love me
Katherine: sure
Narrator: I'll come with a new movie next week
Newsies: NO!