Freya doesn't remember how she got into Malcolm Merlyn's bed that night, her head was aching and she felt sick to her stomach from all of the tequila shots. In her mind she hoped that he would wake up with Lenny next to her once more.

Except for this time, Lenny was dead.

Lenny has been dead for less than a week and Freya was already in bed with another man.

What was wrong with her? Did Leonard really mean so little to hee that she hopped into bed with someone the second she died? Where did it all go wrong?.

FLASHBACK

Freya wrapped her arms around her stomach in content as she cuddled with her blanket on the couch. She'd been sitting there in Len's long sleeves binge watching shows on Netflix all day and she couldn't be any prouder. She glanced at the clock for the time. It was a little after 9pm. Len would be here to visit soon, so they could decorate for Christmas and Kwanzaa because Len insisted and Freya would never say no.

Freya smiled as she heard the door unlock and Len stepped into the living room boots off, with navy long sleeve and tight black jeans. He greeted Freya with a small smile then stopped.

"Is that?"

"Yes it is and you can't do anything about it." Freya asserted.

Len's smile grew. "My shirt looks good on you."

Freya looked down at herself with a grin. "Of course it does. It's my boyfriend's shirt." she said as the too long sleeves flopped comically.

Len shook his head as he placed a soft kiss on Freya's forehead.

"Oh, and babe, hot cocoa's in the kitchen for you with more than enough mini marshmallows." Freya said as she turned back t the TV.

END FLASHBACK

Freya thought about how we can never kiss him again, he tried all he had to not cry and wake Merlyn up.

FLASHBACK

Lenny had made dinner for her that night, she remembers the soft candle lighting, the smell of the food, how content she felt at that moment.

"What's with the flowers and candles?, are you trying to seduce me Captain Cold?" She smirked which always made the man blushed.

Lenny cleared his throat; "Yes? Maybe?" He giggled.

God, how Freya already misses his laugh.

"Iwantyoutomarryme." He spat out fast, looking down at the table right after he said it.

"I- what was that?"

, "I want you to marry me," He said it more clearly. When he kneeled next to her Freya remembers how much her heart filled and his stomach dropped.

"I know this might feel too fast and I would understand if you said no, but hear me out first. These past couple months have been the best months of my life, and I know our lives are crazy and there's so many changes that are happening and I just-" He had to catch his breath. "I love you and I know for a fact that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so Freya Nova will you marry me?"

END FLASHBACK

Freya didn't realize she was sobbing until Merlyn woke up.

"Freya? Are you okay- god I'm so sorry," Malcolm sat up quickly, looking at her worryingly.

"I-" Freya was stuttering and trying to catch her breath. "G-God I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have- Fuck I'm so sorry Mal."

Cradling her head in her hands, she sobbed and continued to call out for the man that was no longer listening.

"I love you." She whispered, the words feeling heavy on hee tongue.

"Freya-" he paused, blinked and corrected himself, "F, hey, it's okay, you're okay,"

He continued rambling mindless comforts as he perched apprehensively on the couch next to Freya, leaving a few inches between them. Despite his obvious confusion as to why Freya was so upset, the concern in his expression was unmistakable. Merlyn tentatively reached out and took Freya's hand in his, dragging it away from his wet, splotchy face and squeezing.

"You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but Freya, I need to know what I can do to help you."

Freya had never seen Malcolm look so open, so vulnerable.

Malcolm wasn't Lenny, obviously. Where Lenny stood just that little bit taller than Freya, Malcoom was much shorter. Where Lenny's body looked as if it had been chiseled like some Greek statue, Malcoom was soft around the edges. Where Malcolm was forward and honest about his thoughts and feelings, with Lenny, Freya was left to read between the lines.

He wasn't Lenny, he never would be Lenny, but maybe that didn't matter.

"Freya?"

"I-" Freya was stuttering and trying to catch her breath. "G-God I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have- Fuck I'm so sorry Malcolm."

Freya grabbed her clothes and got dressed as quickly as she could, she was a sobbing mess and couldn't catch her breath. It wasn't until Malcolm got her attention for him to calm down.

"We were engaged-" Freya cut him off, "we asked me to marry him the night before he-", she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"I didn't know-," Freya knew that Malcolm felt awful, which made him feel guilty. Malcolm didn't deserve her baggage. "Please don't, I'll see you at the weddinv Monday.."; she then grabbed his jacket and left. Not fully knowing where she was going or how she was gonna live without Lenny.