Notes: Batman is owned by DC Comics and was created by writer Bill Finger and artist Bob Kane. The Batman animated show is owned by Warner Bros. and was created by Michael Goguen and Duane Capizzi.
Bruce Wayne was in the Batcave and was reading various articles on the internet. He was trying to find out if there were any loose criminals in Gotham. He spent an hour at his research, but he didn't find anything useful. He said, "There has to be some crime going on."
Alfred Pennyworth walked by, carrying Bruce's breakfast. He said, "Gotham is becoming safety, so there's less crime. It's something to be thankful for."
Bruce replied, "Believe me, I wish Gotham were safer. However, that's not how things have been going. Crime's been crazy during the past few months. Somebody has to be on the loose."
Alfred responded, "Until you uncover your next case, I suggest taking a break. If the Batman spends his free hours stressing out, he'll be exhausted when real crimes come about."
Bruce thought about what Alfred said and he agreed with him. He started eating some toast. He accidentally spat it out. He turned around and saw that he spat his toast on Alfred's uniform. Bruce had an embarrassed look on his face, while saying, "I'm sorry about that."
Alfred replied, "Quite alright, but you seem tense. How about doing something more relaxing?"
Bruce said, "My friend, Ethan, has a basketball game today. I could watch him play."
Alfred replied, "That sounds nice. Just try to not spit your next meal on him."
A few minutes later, Bruce drove to a nearby basketball stadium. Ethan Bennett, a detective and friend of Bruce Wayne, had a game that day. Since there were no crimes around, Bruce thought he should support his friend. He walked inside and found Ethan. He patted him on the shoulder and said, "Ethan, what's up?"
Ethan smiled and said, "Hi Bruce. Due to being a detective, I usually don't get to play. Gotham's been quiet recently, so I get to finally goof around."
Bruce replied, "That's why I came by. I wanted to watch you goof around."
Ethan smirked and responded, "I guess that's what best friends are for. They act like goofballs together, isn't that right?"
Bruce said, "Sounds about right. I'll be in the stands, cheering you on."
Ethan asked, "Are you going to be wearing a cheerleader's skirt?"
Bruce answered, "Despite how charming I am, I don't look good in a skirt."
Several minutes later, the game started. Bruce stopped listening to his favorite pop-songs and started paying attention to the game. He had a giant bottle of soda. He often didn't drink as many fluids as he should, because his mind was distracted with his work. While fiddling with his bottle of soda, he accidentally flung the soda. Several ounces of soda landed on Ethan's basketball uniform.
Ethan looked at himself and said, "Hey, my outfit's soaked." Ethan's teammates were so busy making fun of him, that they let the rival team win.
Bruce ran up to him and said, "Ethan, I'm so sorry about that. It was an accident."
Ethan's detective partner, Ellen Yin, ran onto the stadium floor and said, "Ethan, forget about your game. Oswald Cobblepot is on the loose."
Ethan asked, "Who's that?"
Ellen sighed and said, "The Penguin."
Ethan replied, "Oh, I keep forgetting his real name. Anyways, I'll get on some clean clothes and start heading after him."
Ellen responded, "We don't have time for that. We need to stop the Penguin from robbing Gotham's biggest museum, as soon as possible."
Ethan nervously asked, "I have to fight a bird-themed wacko, while wearing soda-drenched clothes?" He sighed and sarcastically said, "This is such a good day."
Bruce felt guilty about his accident. He said, "Ethan, I hope I can make it up to you, so you can forgive me."
Ethan replied, "Come on, Bruce. You're my best friend, so I'm not mad at you. My primary emotion is embarrassment, to be honest."
Bruce ran into a nearby restroom and started getting on his Batman costume. While changing, he said, "Bruce Wayne failed Ethan. That's why Batman needs to be his knight in dark armor."
Meanwhile, the Penguin and his henchgirls, the Kabuki twins, were causing trouble in the museum. Penguin came from the Cobblepot family, a family that used to be wealthy. He had a petty hatred for those wealthier than him and he thought that museums were full of fancy and rich pieces of art, so he wanted to get revenge. He started bagging up the artwork he wanted to keep and had the Kabuki twins cut-up the rest. Penguin looked at a painting of the ocean and asked, "What would I need this thing for? There's already four oceans for me to dump waste in and drive Aquaman crazy. Ladies, get rid of this waste of art." The Kabuki twins cut-up the ocean piece of art.
The curator nervously laid on the floor and started begging to Penguin. He said, "Please leave my art alone."
The Penguin whined, "If you didn't have so many pieces of crap, I wouldn't have them destroyed. If anything, I'm helping you out. I'm throwing away your garbage and I'm not charging you anything for it."
Batman burst into the museum and said, "Come on, Penguin. You deserve a reward for throwing away the garbage. I think a vacation at Arkham is an acceptable prize."
The Penguin angrily replied, "Batman, why are you ruining my artistic crimes?"
Batman sternly responded, "You're a slobbish scoundrel, not an artist."
The Penguin had an evil smile on his face, while saying, "I disagree with that. After all, I have the ultimate paintbrush." He pointed his umbrella at Batman and said, "Believe it or not, I'm a big fan of artwork. My greatest art-piece is going to be painting your demise." He did an evil laugh and tried to use his umbrella's weapons to fight Batman. Batman used various utility belt gadgets to fight off Penguin's weapons.
Batman confidently said, "Your toys aren't going to stop me, Penguin."
The Penguin had an offended look on his face, while asking, "Toys? I have the world's most dangerous umbrella. It's full of deathtraps, fire, explosives, and other dangerous stuff."
Batman thought about it and replied, "Fair point, Penguin. Your umbrella is quite impressive. However, I believe it'd be defenseless against a bat-bomb." Batman grabbed a bomb out of his utility belt. He programmed the bomb to go specifically blow up Penguin's umbrella and nothing else, in order to protect everybody. He threw the bomb, which got attached to Penguin's umbrella.
The Penguin nervously said, "Oh no. Your stupid bomb is on my beautiful umbrella. I need to get it off. Penguins are a better animal than bats. I need to prove that." He played and fiddled with the bomb, but he didn't managed to get it off. The umbrella was about to be blown up. The explosion flung Penguin across the museum.
Batman walked up to him and replied, "Penguins are a strong species, but you aren't evidence of that."
The Penguin thought he was running out of tricks and was worried about Batman being the winner of the fight. However, the Kabuki twins appeared and started fighting Batman. If there were only one of them, Batman had a good chance at winning. However, Batman struggled to beat up both of them. They used their sharp claws to hurt him and they kicked him across the museum. The Penguin had a smug smile on his face, while saying, "Penguins are far better than bats. Thankfully, that fact is going to be proven." He started squawking.
Detectives Ellen Yin and Ethan Bennett came into the museum. Ethan was still wearing his basketball uniform, which was still covered in Bruce's soda-stains. The Penguin had returned to bagging up pieces of art, but the detectives ran up to him and pointed their weapons at him. The Penguin angrily sighed and asked, "What do you guys want?"
Ethan answered, "We want to arrest you."
The Penguin looked at Ethan's wet outfit and said, "It seems like you want to be a waterboy, for a basketball team."
Ethan replied, "Hey, don't make fun of me, you birdseed lover."
The Penguin responded, "Hey, I don't eat birdseed."
Ellen sternly said, "Penguin, you better surrender."
The Penguin started digging around for his umbrella, before remembering he didn't have it anymore. He nervously said, "I'm doomed."
Ellen replied, "You sure are."
The Penguin laughed and responded, "I'm just squawking around. I have fight moves that you could never beat. After all, you're detectives, not wrestlers." Penguin started using his fighting skills to kick the detectives' weapons away. Ellen started punching and kicking the Penguin, but Penguin kicked her across the museum. A bunch of paintings landed on her.
Ethan nervously asked, "Is he okay?"
The Penguin shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know. I'm the gentleman of crime, not the charmer of doctors. However, I know you won't be okay." He started attacking Ethan.
Meanwhile, Batman was fighting the Kabuki twins. Most sidekicks were easy for Batman to stop. However, the Kabuki twins were extremely skilled and had impressive fighting skills. While battling them, he turned and saw that Ethan was in trouble. Since he had messed things up with Ethan earlier, he didn't want his friend to suffer anymore. He became more determined to get the Kabuki twins out of his way. He got his fists ready and punched them far away. The Kabuki twins weren't badly hurt, but they needed time to recover. Batman was thankful about that, because he finally got a chance to save Ethan.
Batman ran up to the Penguin and angrily said, "Leave Ethan alone."
The Penguin replied, "You didn't leave my art or my umbrellas alone, Batman. That's two things you cost me." He put his hand on his chin and said, "Because of that, you owe me two favors. Since you don't have the generosity to give me anything, I'll take what I want." He started reaching for Batman's utility belt, but Batman started pushing him away. Penguin angrily said, "Hey, I deserve something."
Batman replied, "I agree with that. Like I said before, you've earned a stay at Arkham. Instead of a plane ride, I'll give you a lift in the Batmobile."
The Penguin grinned and responded, "In order to make that happen, you'll have to stop me."
Batman confidently said, "That's easier than you think." Although the Penguin had learned lots of fighting skills, he was defenseless against Batman. Batman used his fast agility, punches, kicks, and gadgets to battle the Penguin. The Penguin was desperate and stubborn enough to put up a long fight, but he eventually passed to the ground. Batman put handcuffs on him. He looked around and saw that the Kabuki twins had disappeared, as usual.
Batman helped Ellen get up and asked, "Are you okay?"
Ellen said, "Yeah, but did Ethan get hurt?"
Ethan walked by and replied, "Nah, I'm fine. I know we're not supposed to support a vigilante, but Batman deserves some thanks."
Ellen responded, "Fair point, but he still needs to be put on trial, for his illegal vigilante acts." She looked around and saw that Batman had left. She angrily sighed, while Ethan grinned.
The next day, Ethan returned to the basketball stadium and saw that the team had fancier uniforms, the place had been cleaned, and everybody seemed happy to see him. He looked confused, while asking, "What's going on?"
Bruce walked up to him and said, "Ethan, you're my best friend and instead of supporting you at the game, I accidentally dumped soda on you. In order to make things right, I gave your team a big check."
Ethan smiled and replied, "Bruce, you're the best."
Bruce hugged his friend and responded, "No problem. The ones who have the most wealth, are the ones who should donate the most. It's too bad that Penguin seeks petty types of wealth, instead of being a productive bird."
Ethan replied, "Speaking of animals, I owe a lot of thanks to the Batman, despite him being a vigilante. I can always trust him to save the day, just like how I can trust you to always be a great friend."
Bruce smiled and responded, "Thanks Ethan. That means more to me than you'd ever realize." Bruce was worried about not being a good friend, but he realized he was a true friend to Ethan, both as himself and as the Batman.