April 1st, 2019
In her living room with no one else around, an 8-year-old blonde girl with pigtails in her hair turned on a video camera to record herself. This girl's name is NOT Lana. Her name is Luan.
Luan: Opposite of adiós, all human beings and Pocket Monsters who watch this video. My name is Luan Olivia Special. You viewers might not know this, but "Special" is a bad word in my universe. A lot of my family members are ashamed of having it as our last name, but I don't care. It's funny.
Luan took the camera off of the stand it was placed on and held it in her hands.
Luan: Luan Loud from the Y universe asked me what I do for April Fool's Day. That's what this video is for. I'm gonna record this TODAY, send it to her TODAY, and she's gonna upload it for me TODAY! That's right, Luan. For once, a holiday is on the same day in both of our universes. That is because April Fool's Day is sacred and can not be messed with. Now, let me show you my house.
Luan took the camera outside and got a shot of the house, which was completely covered in a mix of lavender, green, pink, blue, black, red, yellow, purple, turquoise, and light blue paint.
Luan: As you can see, our house is shaped exactly like the Loud house. It's painted like this because we were gonna paint it orange to reference Lincoln, but then my parents said that was unnecessary for some reason. Since they said that, I started painting parts of it yellow, which led to my sisters adding in their favorite colors too, resulting in the masterpiece you see here. If you look closely, you'll see that the number on our house is 511, not 1216. The tree in the front yard has a regular swing on it instead of one of those round swings you have that I don't know what they're called. There's also no toy airplane stuck in the tree or boomerang and flying disc on the roof like there is at the Loud house. Maybe someday. Okay, that's enough about the house.
Luan walked further away from the house.
Luan: We live here in Mortolat Town, Kalos. Does Kalos have Mortolat Town in your universe? Let me know in the comments below! This video isn't gonna go up on my channel, but I can still look at the comment section.
Luan spun around while holding the camera, getting footage that showed her family's house was the only one around.
Luan: For some reason, there aren't any other houses in town. Nobody else wants to live here. Maybe it has something to do with what the town's called.
Luan went back inside.
Luan: Now let me introduce you to my family. But first, I wanna show you how breathtaking our stairs are!
Luan held the camera on the stairs for a bit.
Luan: Look at them! Aren't they just awesome?! I mean, all stairs are awesome, but I still feel that these ones are...Oh man, I really shouldn't get distracted. This is my first April Fool's Day since 2017. You see, my sister Lana, uhh...Let's just say I promised her that I wouldn't do anything humor-related anymore, but then my much better sister Lisa talked me out of it. Now let's get April Fool's Day started already!
Luan went upstairs and overheard the sound of someone's voice coming from the room to the right of the linen closet.
Luan: Sounds like Lana's holding a family meeting in Lily and Lisa's room. On April Fool's Day. What could it POSSIBLY be about? Maybe it's about her trying to convince everybody to not let me do my April Fool's Day tradition. That would be the same family meeting she has every April Fool's Day except last year. But who knows? There are PLENTY of other topics for this family meeting to focus on, so maybe it's something different. Let's see!
Luan opened the door to her two oldest sisters' room and went inside. She saw all the other people and Pokémon of the house somehow fitting in this rather small room.
Lana: So, what can we do to prevent Luan from being annoying today?
Luan: What a surprise!
Lisa: Lana, you're the only one who hates Luan's April Fool's Day tradition. We tell you this every year.
Lana: And none of you have changed your mind about it?
Lisa: We never do.
Lana: What about you, Mallow? Don't you think Luan's April Fool's Day thing is gonna be something you hate?
Mallow: I totally do. I still wanna see what it is though.
Lana: Seriously? Why am I the only one who doesn't like that stupid stuff Luan does? How can you possibly like it?
Luan: Because they don't agree with you. That's how. Now get ready to introduce yourself for the video 'cause you're first since we're going alphabetical.
Mallow: I believe you mean she goes last. W is after M, P, L, and R.
Luan: Oh, yes. Of course. Viewers, you'll understand why she said that in a minute. Now, let's finally give the rest of my massive family a chance to say something. First up, Leni.
Leni: Hi! What am I supposed to do?
Luan: Tell the people watching about yourself.
Leni: Okay. I'm Leni and uhh...I'm Leni. And this is Try Asking Again. Say "Hi," Try Asking Again.
Leni pulled the string on her Magic Conch Shell.
Try Asking Again: No.
Luan: Leni Loud gave her that Magic Conch Shell even though I'm the SpongeBob fan of the family. I am not jealous at all except I am jealous very much so. Also, within the six years I've known her, I still haven't gotten used to her weird tiny eyes.
Lily: Poo Poo.
Luan: Yeah, I thought about mentioning that but I chose not to. Anyway, it may as well be your turn now. You got anything you wanna tell the viewers?
Lily: Yaba she de de bleh dye day slahee go go.
Luan: Well said. Lisa, your turn.
Lisa: Before I begin, I would just like to explain what the deal with Lily is. She is perfectly capable of acting and speaking like a 19-year-old, she just chooses to live life as a baby. Don't ask me why. There are some questions even geniuses can't answer. Now, as for me, I...
Luan: Sorry, sis. Time's up. But time isn't the only thing that's up, so is Lola.
Lola: I'm Lola Special, I'm from Lake Stevens, Washington, and if you hate game shows, then I hate you!
Luan: Double Dare is overrated! Movin' on! Lori, you got any contributions for the video?
Lori: Like what?
Luan: Well, if you're gonna be that way, I'll do it myself! While Lily wishes she was the baby, Lori is the opposite because she actually is a...
Lori: No! Stop it! That's a lie! Do NOT call me a baby! I used to be a baby, but then I was struck by magic lightning, so now I'm a big kid. Also, I love golf.
Luan: How much do you love golf?
Lori: I literally love it so much that I wish I lived in a golf course!
Luan: Oh, come on. Only a complete loser would do that. Also, Lori is bald and wears a wig.
Luan: Who's next?
Lori: Hey! I didn't get to introduce the viewers to Bobby.
Luan: You never said you wanted to.
Lori: But why wouldn't I...?
Luan: I would've been next, but you've seen more than enough of me already, so let's move on to my TWIN!
Lucy: Actually, I'm next.
Luan: Oh. Sorry about that. Blame Lori for distracting me.
Lucy: Sigh. Just skip me anyway. The only thing I would want to do is recite my poetry, but nobody would like it.
Luan: ...Quite. In that case, NOW we can move on to my twin. Take it away, Luna.
Luna: Thank you! In honor of today being Luan's first April Fool's Day since her last April Fool's Day, I wrote a song I'm gonna sing for you all! It's called...
Luan: I'm sure it's a 10/10 song, but can it wait until after the celebrating? I don't wanna have to wait much longer.
Luna: Sure. That sounds fair.
Luan: Thank you so much! Little Lynn, you're up.
Leni: Isn't that a band?
Luan: Leni, you had your turn. It's Lynn's turn. Lynn?
Lynn: Spoooorts! Sports, sports, sports, sports! Spoooorts! Sports, sports, sports, sports. Sports, sports, sports, sports. Spa-spa-spa-spa-spa, spooorts!
Luan: Man, you are really boring. I wish there was something more interesting about you, like you had some crazy backstory or maybe you were an alien.
Luan: Right. Great. And now for the other Lynn, our mommy!
Lynn Sr.: Now, now, Luan. Don't be silly. Lynn Jr.'s not an...
Luan: Did you just tell me to not be silly?! That's like telling me not to breathe!
Lynn Sr.: Sorry, sorry. But like I was saying, you...
Luan: Your turn's over. It's Mallow's turn now.
Mallow: Finally! I used to be a Trial Captain in Y universe Alola. My dad and brother suck, much like the stupid "Trial Captains have to retire when they're 20" rule, so I chose to live with these losers a few months ago because they helped me out when I had amnesia...twice.
Luan: Mallow is to our house what Jude is to Total DramaRama, if you know what I mean. She's also that if you don't know what I mean. She's the thing I said she was regardless of whether of not you know what I mean.
Lana: You know, Mallow, since we helped you out so much, you really shouldn't call us losers. That's not nice.
Mallow: Thanks for telling me that. I had no idea.
Lana: Will you just let the Pokémon take their turn?!
Luan: Oh, yes. Absolutely...Absol-utely.
Luan: Over here are our Pokémon. They're all shiny and instead of Charles, Walt, and Cliff, they're Traci, Stephen, and my personal favorite, Ben! Make a Zelda Month G-Files video about Ben! Why you no include Ben?!
Luan: Deep and informative, guys. Deep and informative. Now let's complete the list of parents by talking to my male one.
Rita: ...Uhh...Hello. I'm a dad. I...can't think of anything to say.
Luan: That's super lazy, Daddy. But it means we can get this done faster, so I'm happy about it.
Rita: Well that's good.
Luan: And last but not least, but she's only not least because we're not numbers, it's the worst Special by far, Wrench!
Lana: Stop calling me Wrench! My name is Lana.
Luan: The reason her name is no longer Lana is because that's Mallow's best friend's name.
Mallow: I refuse to call anybody else Lana, so I had to give her a nickname.
Luan: I suggested we call her Wrench because someone with that name was in a brutalmoose video. It makes sense because she likes fixing things or whatever. And she hates her nickname, so it is a nickname I approve of.
Lana: It's not the nickname I hate, it's the fact you gave me one. You two should be mature and just call me my real name.
Luan: Or, you could go to the ministry of names and get your name changed to Wrench. That way, we would still be...
Luan: Whatever. Are you gonna introduce yourself to the viewers or what?
Lana: I'm not doing anything for your stupid video, especially not after you called me the worst part of the family. And Mom and Dad, why didn't you scold her when she said that?
Rita: Scold? Like spank her?
Lana: I don't know. At the very least, you should tell her that she shouldn't say horrible stuff like that.
Lynn Sr.: She was just joking. I'm sure she didn't mean it.
Lana: That's no excuse!
Luan: Wrench, if you're so desperate for another year off from my April Fool's Day, why don't you just leave?
Lana: What does that have to do with what we were talking about?
Luan: You said I shouldn't say horrible stuff, I assumed you were talking about my April Fool's Day tradition.
Lana: No! I was talking about...Are you really gonna let me leave? I thought for sure you'd make me stay here and suffer. This isn't a prank, right?
Luan: You know I don't do pranks. Besides, it would be better for everybody here if you left anyway.
Lana: And why's that?
Luan: Because having a straight man like you around only ruins the fun. Ruins it!
Lana: ...Straight man? I'm not a straight man, I'm a straight teenage girl.
Luan: It's a comedy term. It means a person who points out that the stuff someone else is doing is weird. I've never understood what the point of them is. People who don't like silly stuff aren't gonna like it just because someone points out that it's silly, and people who do like silly stuff don't want somebody interrupting the silly stuff they wanna see.
Lana: Not everyone is gonna have those opinions.
Luan: Leave my house immediately, hypocrite!
Lana: This is my house too.
Luan: Stop it! Now please leave, straight Wrench.
Lana: Where would I even go?
Luan: ...Go wherever you want. What a stupid question. How about the Loud house?
Lana: Why would I go there? Doesn't their Luan do the same stupid April Fool's Day stuff you do?
Luan: Nope! She does something completely different. Why don't you go down there and check it out? It's actually the perfect time for that because their Lana left for her Pokémon thing in Kanto today. They're Lanaless right now and you can fill the Lana-shaped hole in their holiday. Although you technically can't fill it, because you're much taller than Lana Loud and a completely different shape, but you're still Lana, so...
Lana: I'll go anywhere if it means I get to get away from you. Lisa, can you open a portal to the Y universe for me?
Lisa: Sure thing.
Lisa pressed a button on the device she wore on her wrist, opening a portal to the Y universe that Lana walked over to.
Lana: Zero! We're leaving.
Lana's favorite Pokémon, her Froakie, jumped into the pocket on the front of her overalls.
Lana: Do any of you want to come with me?
Luan: They do not.
Lana: Let them answer.
Lisa: We do not.
Lana: Are you sure?
Luan pointed forward, towards everyone else.
Luan: Does this look unsure to you?
Lana and Zero looked around the room and got a glance of everyone else's facial expressions. Everyone was either angry at Lana for being a party pooper, excited for what Luan was gonna do, or confused by everything that was happening. Now that she got her answer, Lana was about to step through the portal with Zero.
Luan: She's so not wearing her retainers tonight. She never wears 'em when she had a bad day. Anyways, now that the disgrace to our family name is about to leave, we can finally...
Lynn Sr.: Stop! You just took it too far, Luan. Apologize to Lana.
Luan: She never apologized to me for bragging about how she won by getting me to stop April Fool's Daying.
Lana: Almost my entire body was in a cast. I had not "won" anything, whatever that's supposed to mean.
Luan: HOWEVER, I will still apologize. Lana, I'm sorry I called you the worst part of the family. And for not using your real name. And for saying you're the disgrace to our family name.
Mallow: Isn't the disgrace to your family name your family name itself? *chuckles*
Lisa: Not if we pretend it means...
Lana: Apology accepted, Luan. See you later.
Lana and Zero went through the portal and it closed.
Luan: Can we please start now?!
Lynn Sr.: Don't you think you should explain why you're so mad at Lana?
Luan: Do I have to? That's no fun.
Lynn Sr.: Yes.
Luan: Isn't it self-explanatory?
Lynn Sr.: No.
Luan: Fine. Complaining about the stuff I like isn't just something she does on April Fool's Day. She does it every single day and it's really annoying. Are we done here now?
Lynn Sr.: I'd say so.
Luan: Yes! Finally! It is go downstairs and start April Fool's Daying time!
Luan threw the camera she was holding into Lily's crib.
Luan: I've got cameras all around the house and outside. Let's get begun already! Mommy, do we have a sewing machine? I need a sewing machine.
Lynn Sr.: I think we have one somewhere, but I have no idea where it is.
Luan: Help me look?
Lynn Sr.: Sorry. But me and your father have to leave.
Luan: What? Why?
Rita: We have something important to do.
Luan: More important than April Fool's Day?
Rita: Much more.
Luan: Does it involve Nickelodeon's 40th anniversary, which is today?
Luan: Then how could it possibly be more important than...?
Lynn Sr.: We're gonna go to Reflection Cave now.
Luan: You're not looking for someone to repaint the house, are you? 'Cause I like it the way it...
Rita and Lynn Sr. jumped out the window and left.
Luan: At least they're embracing the April Fool's Day spirit.
Leni: What do you need a sewing machine for?
Luan: I had a dream a few nights ago that Lynn Loud was sewing stuff and I guess selling it, so I wanted to have our Lynn recreate that. But since we don't have easy access to a sewing machine, we'll improvise. Lynn, go to your room and start putting pieces of fabric together with psyduct tape.
Lynn left the room to go get some fabric and tape.
Mallow: So what happens now?
Luan screamed out of excitement and then ran out of the room.
Mallow: I get annoyed. That's what happens now.
Luan went down to the living room.
Luan: VIEWERS! Are you ready for random silly nonsense?! It doesn't matter if you are, because I'm gonna do it either way. I'm gonna say some random sentences that I think up right now. I'm gonna divide by a cheeseburger while jumping up and down on a saw. That will make there be poop in my lunchbox if the VCR won't turn around. Baked potatoes are allergic to yellow pillows.
Lynn: I found fabric. What do I do now?
Luan: Both! The answer is always both.
Lynn: ...Both what?
Luan: Exactly! Tape all the fabric together, then goo on Craig's List and try to sell it to somebody.
Lynn went into the kitchen to get tape and came across Mallow.
Lynn: Mallow? How did you get in here? You were just in Lily & Lisa's room.
Mallow: Since this is my favorite room in the house, Beakers made me some teleporter thing that lets me go straight here whenever I want.
Lynn: Beakers is Lisa, right?
Lynn: Do you have a nickname for all of us?
Lynn: Do I have one? If I don't, I want one.
Mallow: Okay then. Yours is uhh...Omega Jr. because you've got a 1 on your shirt and "omega" means "first."
Lynn: Actually, it means "last." Lisa told me that.
Mallow: Well what does she know?
Lynn: That probably shouldn't be my nickname anyway because there was this evil robot named Omega who tried to mind control us last Christmas. I was immune to it because I'm an...
Suddenly, Luan jumped into the kitchen.
Luan: What are you individuals talking about?!
Lynn: Aaahh! Luan, don't just come out of nowhere like that.
Mallow: Is this April Fool's Day thing just a bunch of endless screaming?
Luan: It may seem like nothing but pointless screaming.
Mallow: I didn't say "pointless."
Luan: But if you pay attention to it like you're supposed to, then you should be able to see that there's more to it than that and there's thought put into it. Wrench refuses to learn that.
Mallow: Well then show me that it's more than just screaming.
Luan: On it! It's time to do the thing I was gonna do to celebrate Nick's anniversary.
The door to the fridge opened and Leni came out of it.
Leni: Who's Nick?
Luan: Today is Nickelodeon's 40th anniversary, and Nick is channel 40, so this is the most important anniversary of all time and forever in the future. To celebrate, I decided to make Lori recreate something from one of their shows. I was gonna make her do that anyway, so this is a pretty shameful way to honor my favorite channel, especially since referencing just one show isn't a good way to celebrate this monumental occasion anyway, but I found out about the anniversary way too late and didn't have time to come up with more stuff to do. How did I go my whole life without ever knowing that my favorite holiday is also...
Mallow: You talk way too much.
Luan: It's not my fault if how much I have to say is enough to be considered too much. Let's just move on.
Lori was sitting at a desk in her bedroom while admiring her golf club.
The Announcer: And now, Lori Michael Special with more Vital Information for your everyday life.
Luan: Thank you so much, NickSplat, which is now called NickRewind, for introducing me to All That!
Lori: Hey! This is my skit.
Luan: Gotta give credit where credit is due.
Luan got out of the way to let Lori do her skit.
Lori: If you're able to convince someone that Super Mario Sunshine is a ripoff of Batman Begins, it would be rude to say "Ha! I convinced you to believe something that's not true!" It's not polite to point. It's really not polite to kick people and then sit in their food. Family is like a beekeeper with his hair on fire. You can't tell him what for and if'n ya' do, he'll ask you for change!
Lori stood up and started swinging her club back and forth.
The Announcer: This has been Lori Michael Special with Vital Information.
Luan: J'ai aussi envisagé de faire celui où quelqu'un, probablement moi, est dans une baignoire et dit des phrases drôles en français, mais je ne voulais pas en faire trop avec des trucs de All That, par opposition à des trucs d'autres émissions de Nick ou du contenu original que je fabriqué. Cependant, j'ai une autre information vitale. Ne mange pas de neige jaune.
Lisa ran into the room in a panic.
Lisa: Everyone! All both of you! It's an emergency! Someone stole the JNW!
Luan: *gasp* Not the JNW! How will we ever goo on without the JNW?!
Lisa: Exactly! I need it or else I can't finish inventing The Legend Phone.
Lori: What's a JNW?
Luan: The first two letters in it stand for "Jimmy Neutron." That's all you need to know. Quick! Which one of us would be the best at solving a mystery? Preferably, it's someone who hasn't gotten a chance to do anything yet.
Lisa: That's easy. It's Lily and Lucy without a doubt because their names end with a Y.
Luan: Makes sense. Tell them to take care of it.
Lisa: Lucy! Lily! Find the stealer of the JNW and send him or her or it to prison! I'd do it myself, but I've been too busy thinking about a pancake for about the past 3 minutes.
Luan: I have something I need to go do in the bathroom!
Luan left Lori's room and ran into the bathroom at the end of the hallway. She shut the door without turning the light on.
Luan: You can't see it, but I'm doing back flips right now. Now I'm reprogramming a robot so that all he knows how to do is count backwards from 970,000 in the wrong order. Can you guess what I'm doing now? No, you can't. I'm playing with Hot Wheels! Mattel is better than Hasbro. Would you like to see me do any of this? Well, too bad.
In the attic, Lily and Lucy were looking at pictures of buckets.
Lucy: I don't wanna go look for the JNW.
The entrance to the attic opened and Leni stuck her head through it.
Leni: Do not worry! I will find the...thing.
Lucy: How could you possibly do that?
Leni: I'll find a way. I'll find a way!
Leni left the attic.
Leni: Try Asking Again, who took that thing that was tooked?
Try Asking Again: Try Asking Again.
Leni: What?! How could you?!
Luna: Try Asking Again is not the thief, little sis.
Leni: But she just said she was.
Luna: That is because she was been brainwashed by the legendary Okey Pokey monster!
Leni: What's that Pokémon do?
Luna: That is a stupid question for at least two reasons. But what he does is turn soda to bleach. And the only way to stop him is to jump up and down on Lola while she's trying to eat.
Down in the living room, Lola was eating a bowl of cereal while lying down on the floor. Mallow walked up to her and was perplexed by this unusual thing Lola was doing.
Mallow: So, is this April Fool's Day thing done by all of you, not just Luan?
Lola: Everyone but Lana. It used to be just Luan, but the rest of us started to join in over time.
Mallow: And being random is just a one day a year thing, right?
Lola: Not so much for Luan, but it is for the rest of us.
Mallow: Thank Tapu Lele! If you people did this more often, I would be moving out immediately.
Lola: Are you saying you would hate having to leave?
Mallow: No, I just don't feel like packing right now.
Luna and Leni ran into the living room and started jumping on Lola, to her dismay.
Luna: We decided to do it together!
Mallow: You people are really earning your last name.
Lola pushed Luna and Leni off of her and stood up.
Lola: What did you just say?!
Mallow: I meant my definition of "Special."
Lola: Oh. What does it mean in your universe again? I forget.
Mallow: It means "unique."
Lola: Well then in that case, thank you.
Mallow: You're not welcome.
Luna: Is Mallow getting into the silliness now?
Mallow: No. I was being serious. She's not welcome. That was supposed to be an insult.
Luna: Luan says unique is always better, so there's no way that could be an insult.
Mallow: ...Yeah, great. When does this end?!
Luna: It goes until midnight and then I play sad music as we get ready for bed.
Mallow: You're kidding, right?
Luna: Luan! Mallow's being a straight man!
Luan ran downstairs so fast that trails of flames followed behind her.
Luan: Are you not enjoying this?
Luan: That's okay, but not really, I know something that'll change your mind. Luna, you can perform that new song now!
Mallow: If she plays so much as one note, I am not making that cake you wanted.
Luan: What? What does Luna's song have to do with my cake?
Mallow: I heard her rehearsing it. It is a horrible, horrible song.
Luan: What element of the song do you dislike?
Mallow: All of them!
Luna: Then you're just a music hater.
Mallow: I do not hate music.
Luna: Prove it then.
Luna plugged her electric guitar into an amplifier and turned the volume up to 12. She started playing a song which made Mallow cover her ears.
Mallow: Wait. That isn't the new song.
Luan: She's saving that for when it can be enjoyed properly. At least, that's my guess. Speaking of guesses, did you tell the viewers about the cake?
Mallow: I don't care about your stupid cake, so no.
Luan: Excellent! Viewers, let me know in the comment section what your guesses for what the cake is for are. Everyone who guesses right wins nothing!
Leni: Mustaches with cookies!
Luan: Good one, Leni.
Mallow: There is no way you can come up with enough stuff to keep this going until midnight.
Luan: Can too. If I can't, I will be your butler for five months.
Mallow: And what do I have to do if I lose this bet?
Luan: Just winning the bet is good enough for me.
Mallow: Uhh...what? If I lose the bet, I have to win the bet?
Luan: No, I meant...If I win, I don't need a prize.
Mallow: Then you are so on!
Everyone in the house, including the Pokémon, were in the living room. Lily was counting brooms, Lisa was drawing pictures of Texas, Lola was sprinkling salt onto hard boiled eggs, Lucy was doing nothing, Lynn was ripping up Star Fox comic books, Luna was blowing up light blue and pink balloons, Leni was throwing toilet paper all over the place, and Lori was trying and failing to juggle golf balls.
Luan: Burritos are food! All toasters don't toast bread. You shouldn't just say that because you'll get in trouble. The secret to the secret is the lack of a secret. KETCHUP WATER! Farts are like a butt telling you that you are still alive. Convinced I can do this all day yet?
Mallow: It's still not midnight. Now, why did you tell your twin to blow up balloons?
Luan: I happen to like balloons!
Another portal opened and Lana and Zero stepped out of it, cowering in fear.
Luan: So, how was Luan Loud's version of April Fool's Day?
Luan: Did you like it more than my version? One "I" for yes, two for no.
Lana: I...I...I thought for sure the fact she looks like me but acts more like you was the thing worst thing about Luan Loud. I was so wrong!
Luan: You said "I" four times. That wasn't one of the options. What are you trying to say to me?
Luna: What did Luan Loud do that was so bad?
Behind Lana, the front door opened and Lynn Sr. came inside.
Lynn Sr.: Girls, guess what.
Lana screamed and turned around, spraying spray cheese on her mom.
Lynn Sr.: Did you just spray me with spray cheese? That's so unlike you.
Lynn Sr. wiped the cheese off.
Lana: Sorry, Mom. While I was at the Loud house, I had to take some defensive measures.
Lynn Sr.: What does that have to do with spraying me?
Lana: I was worried you were Luan and you were gonna...I don't wanna talk about it. I've had a horrible day.
Lynn Sr.: Well, I think I know something that'll make you feel better.
Luan: More April Fool's Daying, right?
Lana: NO! Please, anything but that!
Luan: So, you're not gonna ask for my way of celebrating because it'll make you forget about Luan Loud's way despite your lack of belief in the fact you're saying it.
Lana: What? Why can't you just talk like a normal person?
Luan: Because I enjoy doing something you don't enjoy. Get that through your head sometime, pretty please!
Lynn Sr.: Luan, Lana! Enough with the fighting. Just come outside, everybody. Me and your father have a surprise for you.
Lana: I don't like the sound of this.
Lynn Sr.: You don't?
Lana: No. It sounds like it's a...a...pr...pra...pra...
Lynn Sr.: It's not a pra.
Lana: Then what is it?
Lynn Sr.: I can't tell you. It wouldn't be a surprise that way.
Lana: I really don't like the sound of this.
Lynn Sr.: Oh, just come on.
Lynn Sr. dragged Lana and Zero outside. When they got out there, the others heard Lana screaming.
Luna: Sweet balls of fire, what is going on out there?!
Lana: Oh my Arceus! I love it!
Luna: Something good apparently. Let's go see what it is.
All the remaining Special sisters started running outside. But Lori and Luan stopped when they realized Mallow wasn't following them.
Lori: Aren't you coming?
Mallow: I already know what the surprise is. I'm gonna go get started making dinner.
Mallow walked into the kitchen.
Luan: Oh, I should mention this. Mallow isn't just the Jude of our house. She's also the Norbert.
Lori: Why did Mom and Dad tell Mallow what the surprise was?
Luan: She probably found out accidentally. The real question is, "Why did she call Daddy 'your father' when he's not Mallow and the Pokémon's father?"
Lori: It had better have been an accident. If not, Mom and Dad are gonna have to say "Hi" to Bobby, if you know what I mean.
Luan: I do. And you'd get in trouble for that.
Lori and Luan went outside and noticed their sisters were looking at the driveway. They took a look in the same direction and saw a brand new car! It was a little bigger than the van the family had used for the last few years. But more importantly, it was red! Red is the best color.
Lisa: I must say. I never would've guessed this was the surprise.
Lynn Sr.: If you think this is hard to guess, wait 'til you see surprise #2!
Lana: There's another surprise?!
Luan: Mommy, can I name the new car? I always hated the name Vanzilla.
Lynn Sr.: Sure. But aren't any of you wondering why we bought a new car?
Lola: I just assumed you won it.
Lisa: Wasn't it so there's more room for Mallow?
Lynn Sr.: Well, that would be a good enough reason, I guess. But it wasn't just for her. We also had to make room for surprise #2.
On the other side of the car, Rita was hiding from everyone else. Then he started to sing.
Rita: Here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo! We've never once ever had one!
Rita stopped hiding and revealed to his daughters that he was carrying a car seat for a baby.
Rita: Sun, sun, SON! Here he comes!
In the car seat was a baby boy wrapped in a light green blanket and wearing a white hat. He looked very similar to how Lincoln Loud did when he was a baby.
Lynn Sr.: Everyone, meet...
Rita: Your brother!
All the Special sisters chattered indistinctly about this sudden huge news.
Luan: I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!
Leni: You got pregnant really fast!
Lisa: Don't take this the wrong way, but why'd you do this, Mom and Dad? I thought you said you didn't want any more kids.
Lynn Sr.: Well, your father got sick of living with nothing but a bunch of girls.
Rita: That's not true.
Lynn Sr.: So, we started looking around the multiverse for an orphan who looks like Lincoln.
Rita: And yesterday, we found this little guy.
Lynn Sr.: Sorry to steal April Fool's Day thunder, Luan, but the paperwork and all that stuff we had to do to adopt him took so long that we had to leave and than go back to the orphanage today to finish it.
Lola: He's so adorable! Let me cuddle with him!
Lola started running towards the baby, but Lynn Sr. stopped her by grabbing her face.
Lynn Sr.: Whoa! Not so fast. You gotta be careful with him. He's only a day old.
Luan: He is?! Do you know what that means?! Until tomorrow, if he were to do something stupid and somebody asked him if he was born yesterday, the answer would actually be "Yes!"
Lana: But he can't talk.
Luan: This is awesome balls! I don't even care that we now have to celebrate the anniversary of when our brother came into our lives on the same day as April Fool's Day. Or at least, not yet I don't.
Rita: We'll probably just celebrate that on his birthday. It's only the day before after all.
Leni: What's his name?
Lori: That's a stupid question to ask. His name is obviously Lincoln.
Lynn Sr.: Nope! It's actually not Lincoln. And none of you will ever be able to guess what it really is.
Luan: Is it Anthony?
Rita: No. But here's a hint.
Rita was interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on the house's front door from the inside, which caught everyone's attention and made them look at it.
Leni: I thought that only happened when we were inside.
Still inside the house, Mallow opened the door.
Mallow: You try to be nice by knocking and nobody answers. There's some fat and ugly guy with a giant hammer on the couch. Since that's my bed, will one of you make him get out of here?
Luan: Hhhmm. A guy with a giant hammer? Important question! If he were to say "I'm blue," would that or would that not be the truth?
Lana: Why can't you just say "Is he blue?!"
Luan: Because that would be no fun.
Lana: And how does saying it in a weird different way make it fun?
Luan: You would be able to know if you just had a tiny ounce of...
Mallow: Yes, he's blue!
Luan: Then I'll bet I know who it is!
Luan ran inside really fast. She took a look at the couch and saw King Dedede laying on it.
Luan: King Dedede! Do you remember me?! Please say you remember me! Do you remember me?!
King Dedede: Never seen you before in my life.
Luan: Aw man.
Everyone else came inside to see what all her excitement was about. Rita set the car seat, with the baby still in it, down on the floor.
Lana: And who is this?
Luan: King Dedede is the king of Dream Land, located on the planet Pop Star. He is the main antagonist in the Nintendo franchise that is called Kirby because it stars a guy named Kirby, whom King Dedede kicks to the curb. It was created by Sakurai in 19 something and...
Lana & Mallow: Stop!
Luan: Bottom line: He's a meme and he's perfect.
King Dedede: Ya' got that right, girly!
Lynn Sr.: So, what brings you here, uhh...your majesty?
King Dedede stood up and held his hammer in front of him. It opened up and released a multicolored mist that made everyone else cough.
King Dedede: You are now all stuck at your current ages for a very long time.
Luan: For real? 'Cause 8's my favorite number and I would love to not have to turn stupid number 9 this November.
Mallow: Where were you when I was 19?!
Lisa: If you truly did stop our aging, how?
King Dedede: Some people, I can't say who, gave my hammer some new powers just for today. One of them makes it so people stop getting older. Anybody wanna volunteer to help me show off the other one?
King Dedede started slowly swinging his hammer in front of the others' faces. Most of them didn't like it, but Luan was really enjoying it.
King Dedede: Anybody? Anybody at all?
Luan: Me! Me! I volunteer!
King Dedede: Can't be you.
Luan: Oh, come on! Unless you tell me why it can't be me and I consider that reason to be legitimate, I say that not letting me do it is bologna!
King Dedede grabbed Lucy and held her in front of him.
King Dedede: How about you?
Lucy: Go ahead. It doesn't matter to me, much like most things.
King Dedede dropped Lucy and then hit her in the face with his hammer.
Lisa: Are you okay, Lucy?
Lucy: I'm fine. In fact...I'm not sure how to put it, but I...I think I'm dying. That means I'm gonna turn into a ghost.
There was now a smile of Lucy's face and it was the biggest one she had ever smiled in her life, which is not saying much.
Lucy: This is the best day of my life.
Lucy turned into a chocolate bar.
Lynn Sr. picked up the chocolate bar to examine it.
Lynn Sr.: Lucy, say something.
The chocolate bar did not respond. Lucy could no longer talk, think, or do anything at all. She was now a completely inanimate tasty treat.
Lynn Sr.: Okay, you showed off your party trick. I'd really prefer it if my daughter wasn't a piece of candy, so can you turn her back now?
Luan: How do you turn her back?
King Dedede: Oh, I don't.
Luan: Ha! Cool...Wait. What?
King Dedede: The people who gave me these powers hired me to turn all but three of you into chocolate bars.
Luan: And you're not gonna turn us back?
King Dedede: No. No I'm not.
King Dedede hit the baby with his hammer. Getting hit in the face of course made him start crying until he too turned into a chocolate bar.
King Dedede: Alright, you have two choices here. The first choice is you get in line and let me just turn you into chocolate, or...
All the remaining people and Pokémon in the house started screaming and running around.
King Dedede: Yes! They picked the second choice. This'll be way more fun!
King Dedede started chasing after Lynn Sr. and Rita. He chased them into their bedroom and swung his hammer at them. They ducked, causing him to accidentally hit Lola instead.
King Dedede: Oops.
Lola turned into a chocolate bar.
King Dedede: Your turn!
King Dedede hit Lynn Sr. and Rita, turning them into chocolate bars.
King Dedede: "Your turn?" That's the best I can come up with? Man, I really should've taken the time to think of stuff to say before I came here.
King Dedede exited the parents' bedroom and was back in the living room. He saw most of the others still running around and screaming.
King Dedede: You keep runnin' around in circles even though that doesn't help you get away. I'll be upstairs.
Lana: Luan, you have officially taken April Fool's Day too far!
Lana: If you were trying to top Luan Loud, this is not the way to do that!
Luan: I can't hear you. Everyone, stop screaming for a second.
Everyone continued screaming.
Luan: Or not.
King Dedede went upstairs and found Lily at the end of the hallway, in front of the closet.
King Dedede: Any last words, ya' big baby?
Lily: Poo Poo!
King Dedede: Poop is brown. Just like chocolate!
King Dedede noticed the family's Pokémon were trying to take his hammer from him. He pulled them off of it and then threw all three of them at Lily. While she was distracted, King Dedede was able to hammer Lily in the stomach. She started crying and then turned into a chocolate bar.
King Dedede: That one sucked too, but it was a heck of a lot better than the last thing I said.
King Dedede then used his down smash on the three Pokémon, turning them into chocolate macaroons.
King Dedede: Huh. That's different.
King Dedede looked forward and saw Mallow trying to sneak past him.
King Dedede: I got the Pokémon, now for the Poké person!
Mallow: That's me, isn't it?
King Dedede: Yep.
Mallow: Gosh darn it!
King Dedede jumped over Mallow and hammered her in the back. Just like the Pokémon, she turned into a chocolate macaroon.
King Dedede: These chocolates look good. I wish I could eat 'em.
King Dedede opened the bathroom door to see if anyone was in there. There wasn't, but he heard a voice coming from the room next to it, Lori and Leni's room.
Leni: Try Asking Again, am I the next one who's gonna get turned into chocolate?
Try Asking Again: Yes.
King Dedede: You heard her!
Leni: Aah! How'd you find me in here?
King Dedede: You left the door open, ya' dummy!
King Dedede hit Leni with his hammer, shattering her glasses and making her drop Try Asking Again.
Leni: Mayday! Mayday! This looks like the end! I never learned how to reeeeead!
Leni turned into a chocolate bar.
King Dedede: This is fun. I am enjoying this. I hope I get to do it again someday.
Lynn jumped onto King Dedede from behind him. She tried to take him down, but he was completely unfazed by this attack.
Lynn: You'd better leave me and my family alone, you...you!
King Dedede: Are you the one who hates Nintendo?
Lynn: Yes! And since you're a Nintendo character, I am so gonna...
King Dedede: Look. It was kinda cute when the other Lynn hated Nintendo, but now it's just gotten old.
King Dedede took Lynn off of him and threw her in the air. Then he swung his hammer at her like he was hitting a baseball with a bat.
Lynn: I'll make you pay for this one day!
King Dedede: No you won't.
Lynn turned into a chocolate bar.
King Dedede: Aliens, am I right?
In the closet, Luan and Luna were hiding. Luna couldn't stop panicking and Luan was trying to calm her down.
Luna: He can't do this to us! He can't deprive the world of my music! He can't deprive it of your comedy!
Luan: Sis, chill! I've got an idea. Since he's scaring us, let's try to scare him.
Luan: We're twins. The only answer to your question is to give him the ol' Stephen King & Stanley Kubrick. You followin' me?
Luna: ...You mean that thing from The Shining?
Suddenly, King Dedede's hammer pounded through the door and Luna screamed. King Dedede did this repeatedly, followed by Luna screaming again each time, until the hole it left in the door was as big as he wanted. Then he stuck his face through it.
King Dedede: Heeeeeeeeere's Dedede!
King Dedede reached his hand through the hole, grabbed Luna, and pulled her out of the closet.
Luna: Let me go! Let me go! Come on, come on, and let me go!
As King Dedede ran over to the stairs, Luan chased after him and tried to free her sister, but King Dedede's grip on her was too strong.
King Dedede: I was told to do yours over here.
King Dedede threw Luna down onto the top of the stairs. He then jumped up into the air a few times and dropped his hammer on her.
King Dedede chuckled a bit and then ran downstairs after picking his hammer back up.
Luan: No, Luna! Not you! Not here! Not today!
Luna: Luan, I think this might be the last time we ever see each other, so I need you to promise me something.
Luan held Luna's hand.
Luan: Name it, sis. I'll promise it.
Luna: Promise me that...your heart will go on.
Luna turned into a chocolate bar.
Luan: Noooooooooo! Not only is my favorite sister basically dead, but now my favorite spot in the house, my favorite holiday, and one of my favorite songs are ruined because they're gonna remind me of this moment!
King Dedede: Get down here, girly!
Luan picked up the piece of candy that used to be her twin and went down to the living room, still in a mournful mood. She stood next to Lori, Lisa, and Lana.
King Dedede: You four are the only ones left. Like I said earlier, only three of you aren't getting chocolatized. You wanna try to guess which of you isn't...?
Luan: Hold it! There isn't four of us left. Zero is still not a macaroon. There's also Lana's other Pokémon in her room. Or did you get them already?
King Dedede: I was told they don't count.
Luan: They don't count?! How do they not count?! Ben, Traci, Stephen, and Ben counted.
King Dedede: Look, I'm just doing this the way I was told was the right way. Also, you lost your chance to guess.
Lana: You said "Ben" twice.
Luan: I like Ben. Mallow disagrees with me on that.
King Dedede swung his hammer at Lori, making her fall to the ground.
Lori: Okay, this is literally the worst day ever! Guys, take good care of Bobby for me.
Lori handed her golf club to Lana.
Lana: ...Lori, Bobby doesn't need to be taken care of...It's a golf club.
Lori: That is not true! You have to be very careful with...
Lori turned into a chocolate bar.
The Announcer: King Dedede WINS!
King Dedede: And my job is done!
Lana: You sick monster! Zero, use Water Pulse!
Just like with Lynn, King Dedede was unfazed by Zero's attack.
King Dedede: Oh-no! I'm getting wet. I'm so frightened. What are you gonna do next, slap my wrist?
Lisa tried to tackled King Dedede, but couldn't take him down.
Luan: Are you wearing plot armor under your clothes?
King Dedede: Nope. I'm just King Dedede. Now, if y'all will stop tryin' to kill me for one second, I'll tell you what ya' gotta know.
Lisa: What we gotta know?
King Dedede: Yeah. Tomorrow, one of my Waddle Dees is gonna come here and add HDMI6 to your television machine. Then on some other day, your TV will tell you what ya' gotta do to turn everybody back to normal. Then it'll do it again on another day, and another, and another, and another, and another. Eventually, all the chocolate things will be humans and Pokémon again. The people who hired me told me to tell you to put 'em in the freezer 'til then.
Lisa: We can't put them in the freezer. When they change back, that would kill them.
King Dedede: They also said they'll be unfrozen once they turn back, so you don't have to worry. And smart one, don't even bother trying to invent something to turn 'em back. The chocolate's completely immune to anything you could possibly make. Any questions before I go home?
Lisa, Lana, and Luan: WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!
King Dedede: Really? That's your question? That's such a dumb thing to wanna know, I'm not even gonna answer it. See ya', suckers!
King Dedede stepped outside. Then he turned around and threw a toy Pilotwings airplane into the tree, along with a Mario Kart boomerang and a Nintendogs flying disc on the roof. He chuckled a few times and then Luan opened the door to watch him leave.
Luan: I let him read one of my Halloween stories, and he gives me this! Worst April Fool's Day in the history of worst holidays!
Lana dragged Luan back inside and slapped her in the back of the head. Then she picked her up and started shaking her back and forth.
Lana: What is the matter with you?! This stupid day doesn't...
Luan: I know. I know. There are more important things we gotta worry about right now. I am worried about them more than April Fool's Day. I'm not totally insane.
Lana set Luan down.
Lana: ...That's not what I was gonna say at all. I was gonna say that this stupid day doesn't give you the right to turn everybody into candy.
Luan couldn't believe what she had just heard.
Luan: ...You think I did this? You think I would basically kill everybody just for an April Fool's joke?! You expect me to know how to turn people into chocolate?!
Lana: I never know what to expect out of you!
Luan: Why do you say that like it's a bad thing?! How many times do I have to tell you that I like my personality and you're nothing but a jerk for constantly bashing it?!
Lana: Don't change the subject!
Luan: I'm not changing the subject! You want proof that I wasn't the one who hired King Dedede? The proof is that he didn't hit you!
Luan: I would've told him to hit you first!
Lana: Right back at ya'!
Lana and Luan turned around to look at their older sister.
Lisa: Now is not the time for that.
The two younger sisters took a glance at the angry expression on Lisa's face as it turned into a sad one. She needed to say no more because they knew what she was thinking.
Lisa: Let's get everybody in the freezer.
Lisa, Lana, and Luan went around the house, gathering the chocolate bars and macaroons. They were all just as inanimate as Lucy had become. Each of the chocolate bars was wrapped in purple and yellow wrapping with a diagonal stripe of that person's signature color. The macaroons were wrapped in ribbons that were also color coded. As Luan was looking in Lisa and Lily's room, she saw the video camera that she left in the crib and picked it up.
Luan: Luan, please cut the King Dedede stuff out of the video. And uhh...if anybody in the comments asks why I didn't go 'til midnight, tell 'em uhh...tell them the cameras ran out of space.
Luan shut off the camera.