Just a quirky oneshot that takes place in this weird AU that doesn't really need to be explained. Just for fun, nothing serious!

• A Phrank •

Christine and Erik were trying to think of a way to prank Raoul. After all, he would be pissed and Erik wanted to see that. So Christine and Erik thought all night about it.

"We could pretend that gustave is really your kid," Christine shrugged, hiding the reality of the situation.

"Good idea, but the kids annoying" Erik sighed.

"Which makes perfect sense if you're the father," Christine laughed.

"That's quite rude."

"I wasn't trying to be nice, was I?"

"Oh, get back to singing opera."

Of course, Christine and Erik were going to carry through with the prank. April Fools was one of Christine's favorite days of the year. She had many fond memories of her and Meg pranking Raoul, Monsieur Firmin and Andre, or even Madame Giry should they muster up the courage. But April Fools Day is a serious matter, it isn't just one of your childhood games. Christine took all of the pride in making Raoul's life miserable.

"Christine, I am prepared for your and Miss Giry's antics! You will not drop horseshit on me again, no I will not allow it!" Raoul had a frown which Christine, almost immediately, recognized as one which he wore on his face on this day annually.

"Raoul, Meg and I have nothing planned." For once, Christine was not lying. Raoul was normally pretty gullible. But Raoul seemed a bit more superstitious.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Christine replied, a bit desperately. "We, in no way, mean to hurt you, even when we do tease and ridicule you."

"I'm feeling loved, Christine."

"I do hope so." Christine gave Raoul a hug. Oh gosh, her meanest prank was yet to come. Christine hoped Raoul wouldn't divorce her after it.

"But the moment I find you and Miss Giry together, I will call her mother for extra aide in striking back." Raoul left Christine with this warning, the young woman all alone in her dressing room. The mirror was Christine's first idea for company.

"Erik," Christine called, "are you ready to kidnap Gustave?"

Christine and Erik's plan was a bit flawed, in the fact that Erik was to kidnap Gustave and "pretend" that he was his father. Christine would never tell Erik Gustave's true parentage though, and for good reason. Christine truly believed that night should be left in the distant past on her list of regrets.

"Gustave, Gustave…" Christine was frantically searching for Gustave backstage at the Opera. She was to find Gustave- she quickly waved to a passing Andre and Firmin- and give him to the Phantom to stage a kidnapping, Gustave in on the situation. The elephant… Gustave loved hiding inside that old prop for an unknown reason. But upon opening to the interior, Gustave was nowhere to be seen. She could've sworn she'd seen him climb inside. Unless Erik had done the "kidnapping" himself. But she'd specifically told him not to!

"Mother?" Gustave's head peeked out of a basket of costumes used in a staging of Les Miserables (Christine had played Fantine… but that wasn't important at the moment).

"Gustave! Why-" Christine quickly walked over to her son, covered in dirty costumes. "Why are you in there?" She had an uncomfortable smile.

"I was hiding from La Carlotta!" Gustave had a frown on his face. "She hates my guts."

"I'm sure she doesn't," Christine said concernedly, although past experiences with the prima donna told her otherwise.

"Yeah, she does," Gustave began to climb out of the basket, clothes in hand. "Also, I want to prank Madame Giry with a disguise."

"Really?" Christine giggled, "find the Gavroche costume, you were adorable in that, and the Thenardier hat."
"Yes ma'am," Gustave had a hopeful grin, digging back through the clothing. He quickly found what he needed, handing them to Christine.

"Gustave, how would you feel about pranking your father first?"

"I get to be in on the annual prank?" Gustave's bright eyes were wide with excitement. "Awesome!"

"Ok, here's the plan…" Christine explained everything (leaving out the reality of his parentage), before letting the Phantom take Gustave through her dressing room mirror. Now, all she had to do was stage a kidnapping.

"Raoul! Raoul! Come quick! I can't find Gustave anywhere!"

"Its that bloody Phantom!" was Raoul's immediate answer, the man's answers always blaming Erik. "Have you tried the lair?"

"Of… of course not, darling! Let's go!"

The two headed to Erik's lair, Gustave being entranced by the ever-so-familiar monkey music box.

"I knew it," grunted Raoul.

"Gustave!" Christine displayed fear on her face.

"Mother look at this! Erik is ever so kind," Gustave said in a monotone, scripted voice.

"Less robotic, Gustave," Christine softly whispered.

"Christine and Victome, how dare you show your face in my lair?"

"You took my son," Raoul's voice was tense.

"Not your son, Raoul. I claimed my, son."

Christine cast a nervous glance, making sure things didn't get too heated. Even though Erik promised to not fight with Raoul or injure him in any way, Erik loved taunting him. But it all seemed so real, and so… so scary. Christine just hoped the truth wouldn't come out.

"Let the boy go," Raoul sneered, "and enough of your lies. Christine, take Gustave." Christine took the boy's hand, a bit hesitant.

"Vicomte de Chagny, you're treading on risky ground."

"Raoul, Erik…" Christine had a frown on her face. The two men turned simultaneously. "Erik is right. Gustave is… Gustave is his son."

Gustave clutched onto Christine, acting a bit better now.

"No!" Raoul hissed. "You lie!"

"Raoul, I'm telling the truth."

There was a moment of silence.

"APRIL FOOLS!" the three of them screeched. There was a feeling of guilt in Christine's stomach, but she wouldn't admit to it. Now, she just needed to enjoy the embarrassment they caused her husband, and pray that someday, on a horrible dark day, the secret would not come out.