4A Letter from T'Pel
An Epilogue to The Personal Logs of Lieutenant Tuvix-by jamelia
As he entered the family's quarters, Tuvix's very excited little brother jumped up and waved a PADD in his face. "Tuvix, there's a letter for you from Vulcan! From your stepmom!"
"At last! Thank you, Brax."
"Can I read it after you?"
Tuvix smiled at his brother. Now that his Dad Neelix and Brax's mother Dexa were wed and expecting a new little colonist, their blended family had become even closer than when Neelix and Tuvix first moved permanently to the Talax II asteroid. They shared almost everything. Almost. "I'll let you know once I've read it. There may be something in it that your mom and my Dad won't want you to see."
"Oh, I know all about that kind of stuff," Brax replied confidently. "Do you think your Father and his wife are going to have a new baby, too? They're too old, aren't they?
"It's different with Vulcans. They can have children when they're over a hundred years old. It's rare, but that might be what's in this letter! So, while I appreciate your interest in our extended family, I would prefer to read it by myself first. If that's OK with you? Didn't you receive any of your own messages from the Alpha Quadrant today?"
"Mezoti and Naomi sent me a joint one, yeah."
"And how are they doing? Anything special to report?"
"Mezoti said Lieutenant Kim has been visiting Seven a lot. She thinks he'd like to become her godfather or something, but she still misses you. Now, I'd like to hear your news, too. If it isn't too icky, you'll share the letter with me? It's not like that one from your girlfriend Alyara, right?
"Brax . . . "
"OK, I'll let you read it so you can decide if I can read it, too. . . although, it would be good practice for my Federation language reading class if I . . . OK! I'm going!" Brax exclaimed, ceasing his wheedling when he saw the stern expression come over Tuvix's face. Brax had learned pretty quickly when his begging wasn't going to get him what he wanted. The irrepressible lad slipped out of the door as soon as he noticed Tuvix begin to get onto his feet to chase him out.
He understood completely why Dexa was so happy to have his Dad and Tuvix around. Brax was getting to That Age when children can as irritating as they are adorable - often simultaneously. Tuvix felt fortunate that he'd only experienced That Age vicariously, through the memories he'd received from his parents at the time of his advent. He'd appeared on a transporter pad as a fully grown adult, a merged being of Talaxian, Vulcan, and orchid heritage.
Of course he'd let his brother read the letter unless there really was something truly terrible in it that Dexa and Neelix wouldn't want him to see. Brax wasn't usually so persistent, but the boy was still somewhat keyed-up from the recently concluded Prixin festivities.
Still, Tuvix was troubled. This letter was from T'Pel - again - and not from Father. He'd only received three messages from Tuvok since Voyager made it back to the Alpha Quadrant in a spectacular manner - and, in the process, possibly ending the Borg threat for the foreseeable future (maybe even forever - that was still to be seen). Those letters had arrived during the first few weeks after Voyager's return to the Alpha Quadrant, however, and they'd been extremely brief. For the past several months, he'd only heard from T'Pel.
For now, he would see what his stepmother had to say. Would she explain why the last six messages from the Alpha Quadrant had been from her, not Father?
Stardate 55555 (a date I consider to be most propitious)
To my esteemed stepson Tuvix, greetings!
Forgive me for being so late in sending this message with our holiday greetings to you and your family. I know you will not receive it until after your celebrations have concluded. Admiral Paris advised me of the proper dates of Prixin, but events here on Vulcan did not permit me to resume our correspondence before today. I trust your holiday was satisfactory in all respects.
The delay in sending this message was unavoidable. For the past 47 days, your father, your sister Asil, and I have been in seclusion at the Temple of T'Panit. Your Father assures me you are aware of this temple and the monastery in which it is located, thanks to a holodeck program you visited with him during your time on Voyager. I am writing now to explain why we were there, and why you have heard from me, rather than your Father, for the past several months.
Tuvok told me you had frequently expressed anxiety about the number of traumatic brain injuries he'd endured over the years, not only to him, but to the Doctor, Captain Janeway, and Commander Chakotay, as well. According to your Doctor, he had informed you quite emphatically that he'd healed Tuvok after every traumatic event, assuring you that your concerns were misplaced. Based upon these assertions by your EMH, Captain Janeway and then-Commander Chakotay also reassured you that you should not worry about your Father.
The EMH is a remarkable being. Your Father confirms that he is the finest physician he has ever encountered. However, in this particular instance, he was wrong. You were right to be concerned.
Vulcans who administer a great many mind-melds to people who are suffering from serious psychological issues can be afflicted by a condition called the fal-tor-voh. It is an occupational hazard for counselors and psychiatric practitioners on Vulcan, especially those who provide treatment to members of other species. You identified many such events, including your unorthodox "advent," as you prefer to call it, that may have damaged Tuvok's brain. Your Doctor informed us of a memory virus lodged for over 50 years within a false memory engram of Tuvok's; of multiple mind melds with a Betazoid murderer whose violent thoughts disturbed Tuvok's equilibrium to the extent that he wrecked his own quarters; about his mentoring of the Ocampan woman Kes, which was complicated by her inability to control her developing mental powers; and finally, your fears that the severe physical injury inflicted by a Ba'Neth weapon, which left him comatose for an extended period, would have long-lasting effects.
While Tuvok's brain responded to the injuries caused by the Ba'Neth weapon by creating new channels, permitting him to return to a degree of normal functioning after he awakened, he was no longer the Tuvok we all know. His cure was not "complete" until the weapon was available for the Doctor to study, which allowed him to devise a specific course of restorative treatment. All of these events undoubtedly contributed to the development of the fal-tor-voh. In fact, of all of these events, your "advent" undoubtedly caused the least amount of damage to Tuvok's brain.
The monks at the Temple of T'Panit have identified two other occurrences which they believe were more significant than any of the others. The first occurred when the crew of Voyager invaded a Borg cube to help the drones of Unimatrix Zero free themselves from the Borg Queen's control. You vigorously opposed Tuvok's direct participation, since the away team's assimilation by the Borg was an integral part of the plan. When your Father would not listen to your objections, you went to the Doctor, to Captain Janeway, and finally, to Commander Chakotay, but none of them took your concerns seriously enough to change the composition of the away team. The Doctor anticipated the serum he'd formulated would prevent a mental link with the Borg Hive mind from forming after nanoprobes were introduced into the team's bodies. You objected, citing Tuvok's past history of brain injury as a factor which could interfere with the effectiveness of this treatment. You argued that you had never suffered brain injuries of that nature and volunteered to serve in his stead. The captain told me she failed to realize how valid - indeed, how prescient - your position would turn out to be. She allowed the operation to proceed as planned. Captain Janeway now believes she should have taken your advice and assigned you to the team in your Father's place.
You already are aware that your Father experienced a longer and more difficult period of recovery from assimilation than either the captain or Lieutenant Torres did. What you do not know is that he never did regain his pre-assimilation neurological status. When I heard the entire story from the Doctor, I admonished your Father. He should have listened to you. After the EMH repaired as much damage to Tuvok's brain as he could, he knew he had not been completely successful; but at first, he could not understand why. Your Father knew, however. He recognized his symptoms met the criteria for a diagnosis of fal-tor-voh. At your Father's insistence, the Doctor agreed not to share this diagnosis with anyone else, including the captain - or you. Tuvok was acquainted with medications which slow the progress of the disorder and advised the EMH of them. Tuvok told the Doctor that once the signs of his mental deterioration could no longer be hidden from the crew, he would allow the EMH to reveal the diagnosis to the captain and others, on a "need to know" basis.
During your Father's sojourn on Quarra, the unethical Dr. Kadan injured his brain even further when he tampered with Tuvok's memory engrams. Everyone on Voyager's crew who had been abducted was given these substitute engrams, which were designed to make them all think they had made the decision to live on Quarra for themselves, to prevent anyone from learning that the crew had been, in essence, enslaved. The damage caused by Dr. Kadan's crude procedures exacerbated the fal-tor-voh. The monks at the Temple of T'Panit have informed us that if Voyager had not returned to the Alpha Quadrant as soon as it did, Tuvok's brain degradation would have become chronic, incurable, and ultimately, terminal.
The treatment protocol for this condition involves a series of mind melds administered by a compatible person, almost always a blood family member, under direct supervision from specially trained monks at the Temple of T'Panit. If your Father had believed you were the one who could have provided this treatment, he would have told you of this when you were pondering the pros and the cons of traveling on with Voyager or remaining on Talax II with Neelix. Since he sincerely believed you would not be able to heal him, your Father thought it unwise to let you know of his condition.
I trust you will forgive him for unilaterally making this decision. He knew you would remain with him on Voyager if you were aware of the problem, whether you could have alleviated his condition or not. He believes your decision to remain in the asteroid was the proper one for you and for the people of Talax II. So he chose not to tell you.
I myself was not informed of my husband's condition until after Voyager arrived in the Alpha Quadrant and was in Earth orbit. I urged Tuvok to let you know about it in his earliest letters, but he chose not to reveal it. He did not wish you to know anything about his condition until his ultimate fate were known: whether he could be cured or if he was beyond help. I finally convinced your Father that it is time for him to inform you of it. He reluctantly gave me permission to reveal it to you today, just before I left the Monastery of T'Panit. Since he may rescind his permission tomorrow, I decided to send a textual communication to you without delay. You have a right to know.
Your sister Asil has been able to "read" your Father's thoughts almost as soon as she became aware of her own. She could tell me what Tuvok was thinking when she was just four years old (and often did, whether I desired the information or not). Since Voyager's return to the Alpha Quadrant, and with the assistance and guidance of the monks, Asil has been rebuilding the broken connections in Tuvok's brain, the cause of fal-tor-voh. Your Father's treatment is nearing completion. According to the monks in charge of his care, Tuvok's mental status is vastly improved. A full recovery is now certain.
During the treatments at the temple, Asil has viewed many of your Father's memories about you and has relayed many of them to me. Her previously-stated fascination with her unique brother has increased exponentially. She is grateful for all you did for your Father, and all your Dad Neelix did, while you were together on Voyager. She mentioned the tender care both of you provided to Tuvok during his long and difficult recovery from the effects of the Ba'Neth's weapon. She wishes to correspond with you regularly, in visual communications as well as written ones, once she leaves the Temple and is free to do so. I told her I would include this request in my letter to you.
Your Father will also be able to correspond with you again very soon. When he does, I urge you to chastise him for keeping the knowledge of such a serious illness from you. While I understand his reasoning, I do not condone his actions in this matter. He should have told you about this himself, even if he waited to reveal it until Voyager had traveled so far away from the Talaxian asteroid belt, you could not change your mind about remaining there with Neelix. I must tell you that I concur with your decision to stay. It was the right one for all concerned.
In the meantime, if you wish to communicate with us, whether it is in regard to your Father's treatment or anything at all you wish to know about our family or events in the Alpha Quadrant, please write. While I hope your Father will soon be your primary contact, I would like to continue exchanging letters with you as well. From what Asil has told me, even more than from what Tuvok has relayed, I understand how much our entire family owes you for your care of your Father when we were not there to do so. My one regret concerning your presence on Talax II is that we have yet to meet in person. The opportunity may never arise which will allow us to do so, although your sister Asil believes this view is "unnecessarily pessimistic."
Asil is friendly with Cadet Icheb Hansen. She corresponds with him regularly. He keeps her informed about current developments at Starfleet Command as well as at the Academy. He's convinced that B'Elanna Torres and Annika Hansen, whom you knew as Seven of Nine, will successfully develop one of the advanced propulsion drives Voyager brought back from the Delta Quadrant. Asil believes we will be able to travel to visit you very soon using one of these new technologies. I trust Asil's prediction will turn out to be an accurate one. I wish to thank you in person for all you've meant to your Father, and thus, to me. I also have learned much about you from your Father's memories, which, at certain times, I have been able to access. I'm certain you need no further explanation concerning the circumstances, Tuvix. You are half Vulcan. You know the truth about our species, about the strength of our emotions, and why we control them so assiduously. I need say no more than to confirm that Tuvok's admiration for you, and therefore mine, are fully justified.
Please let me know if there is anything in my power to do for you and for our Talaxian relations. Our family will not be complete until we can be together as one family. Until the time we are finally able to meet face-to-face, please know it is our fondest wish for you all to Live Long and Prosper in your new home.
Your stepmother, T'Pel
After Tuvix finished reading this very long missive, he felt strangely empty. It was devastating to learn his failure to master the mind meld technique may have interfered with his Father's recovery. Then he reread the letter, taking special note of T'Pel's description of Asil's ability to "hear" Father, even without using a specific technique, and the need for the healing process to be supervised by the monks of T'Panit. Tuvix wished he could have been the one to heal his Father, but in all likelihood, the best person to provide the treatment had been his half-sister. He wanted so badly to be in her presence, and in his stepmother's, and with the rest of the family on Vulcan, too - and most critically, to be with his Father Tuvok once again.
Tuvix loved his life inside Talax II. He was glad T'Pel mentioned, as she usually did, that she approved of his remaining at the colony. As he'd anticipated when evaluating the "pros and cons" of going or staying, he truly did belong here, as positive a force in the colony as his Dad was. Neelix's ambassadorial work for Captain Janeway after Tuvix's advent had developed his latent leadership skills. He'd become the perfect liaison to negotiate with Commander Nocona's miners.
Tuvix had found his own niche. Many of the Talaxians now came to him to learn meditation. The adults had lost so much when Rinax was destroyed, and even more once Talax was subjugated by the Haakonian Order and Krowtonan Guard. Learning to deal with their grief, finding comfort from remembering lost family members instead of only pain, was something Tuvix was qualified to provide. Even though he'd not been physically present as "himself " during that terrible time, the memories his Dad carried within him had been transferred to Tuvix at the time of his advent. Unlike many others that came to him from his parents, these images were as powerful as they were disturbing and had never faded. They were part of his very being.
Oxilon, who had been the asteroid's leader when Voyager discovered the asteroid colony, was especially grateful for Tuvix's teaching. Using meditative techniques, he'd been able to strengthen his ability to concentrate on important matters, instead of constantly moving from task to task and never completing those which should take priority.
Once the miners had been willing to sit down and negotiate with the Talaxians, an agreement along the lines of Dad's "business proposal" had been reached. When expanding their colony, the colonists agreed to prioritize areas of the asteroid containing the minerals Nocona's mining group valued the most. The colonists mined and sorted those minerals for Nocona's consortium to export. After transport off the asteroid, Nocona's group would sell the material and share the profits with the Talaxians. Neelix and Tuvix had actually become quite friendly with Commander Nocona and socialized with him on a regular basis.
During one casual dinner, Nocona had mentioned a planet called Morgini, which was situated just over 47 light years from the asteroid belt. Tuvix quickly confirmed it was Alyara's home planet! Nocona forwarded Tuvix's message to her, in care of her family. She'd responded promptly, and with great enthusiasm. Her first visit to the asteroid was scheduled to take place less than six weeks from now. Tuvix felt that warm glow come over him, as it always did, whenever he thought of his lover. He might be able to find out if she was, in fact, the "one" for him - and very soon, too.
Pleasant thoughts of Alyara were interrupted by a vigorous knocking on his door. Tuvix smiled as he called out, "Who's there?" - not that there really was a question about the identity of the one who was assaulting his closed door in this particular manner, but it amused him to ask, nonetheless.
Brax poked his head inside the door once it slid open and asked, "You've been in here almost forever! Is that a letter you won't let me see?"
Tuvix called his brother into his room. Brax plopped himself down in the second chair and waited expectantly while Tuvix decided what he should say. Finally, he decided there was nothing he couldn't share with the rest of his family.
"Some of this news is sad, Brax, but it looks like things will turn out well in the end. My Father Tuvok has been very sick, but he's getting better. You can read the letter aloud to Dad and Mom. It's full of news about the Vulcan members of our family. Let's go share it with our parents." Handing the PADD to Brax, he followed his little brother out to the family living space.
"Tuvix is letting me read the letter to you!" Brax exclaimed, as he plopped himself down on the long chaise next to Dad and Dexa. With a great deal of pride, he began, "'Stardate 55555 (a date I consider to be most propitious)' . . . Tuvix, what does 'propitious' mean?"
Tuvix quickly explained that the word meant "lucky," and leaned back as T'Pel's words washed over him once again, even though they were interrupted many times by a question or a comment by Brax or his Dad.
Tuvix grinned as he thought of his "little" sister Asil, who had lived for so many more years than her "big" brother Tuvix. He decided he would prepare a letter to her to be sent in tomorrow's data stream, to initiate the correspondence he was certain would become a precious part of his life, and, he hoped, in hers as well. He also must send a thank you letter to T'Pel, to let her know how relieved he was to learn the reason his Father had not written to him directly for so long. And he would send that letter of chastisement to Father, too. Tuvix should have known all this before, even if, as T'Pel had suggested, Tuvok chose to conceal his condition until it was too late for Tuvix to return to Voyager (as he might well have tried to do).
As much as he wished he could have been with his Vulcan family in person to support them at their time of trial, Tuvix knew it was as T'Pel had put it in her letter. He'd made the right decision. This was the place where he belonged. Yes, his family was certainly unusual. The way he came into existence was as unorthodox as anyone's could possibly be - yet they all accepted him. He could not be happier about that. He was doubly blessed by having such a wonderful family.
He corrected that thought almost immediately. He had been triply blessed. He had his Voyager family, too. Propitious, indeed! Tuvix was so very grateful to be alive.
=/\=
Beth6787 asked for a chapter "after Voyager's return to the Alpha Quadrant" to describe Tuvix's perceptions about what happened after "Endgame." Thanks to that suggestion, I decided to add this epilogue to Tuvix's history. Thanks for the suggestion, Beth.
The usual disclaimers apply. I don't own them. Paramount and its allies do. But I do so enjoy resurrecting characters they've chosen to throw away . . .
-jamelia