Hello, my faithful readers! Today I have brought a Self Insert which happens in the Goblin slayer world.

I got this idea while I was reading the light novels. I was surprised when I learned that Goblin Slayer only has 80 stories and most are not worth reading except 2 or 3. So I wrote my own story. I hope you like it.

Anyway, this is "Goblin Slayer: Self insert".

I have also written 5 other stories in the same genre (Self Insert):

"Highschool of the Dead: Self insert";

"Dragon Ball Z: Self Insert";

"Harry Potter: Self Insert";

"Young Justice: Self Insert";

"One Piece: Self Insert";

You can read them from my profile page.

This is my 5th fan fiction of the Self Insert series. I already have an idea for Naruto; My Hero Academia and some others but they are all in the infant phases.

Also, I am sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes I may have missed (English is not my native language)

Please review and tell me what do you think, any suggestion would be appreciated.

Disclaimer: I do not own Goblin Slayer, just my OC.





Chapter 1

Starting New Life as an Adventurer

I reached the Guild before the afternoon.

Although I reached the Water town in the morning, it still took some time to rent a place to crash. The houses in the town were more than a bit above my budget and the tavern in the guild was also quite expensive if I had to live for a large amount of time.

On the contrary, it was quite cheap to rent the tavern for small periods of time like for 2 or 3 days. After all, adventurers don't stay in one place for a long period of time in this time and era.

Now I could have lived there for a few days, and find a place to rent in the meanwhile. But I didn't want to take the chances.

The adventurers of this time are not good persons. There are bound to be some bad apples in the bunch and I wasn't going to leave my precious belonging just where they could steal them. I could cast my protection spells on my belongings but it would only make them think that my belongings had something valuable. And they would try to steal it all the more.

Moreover, I didn't want to pay extra. While the tavern would be cheap, it would still be expensive compared to renting a room for myself. At least, that's what I got from picking the brains of the traveling caravan that was coming here.

Till now I hadn't needed that much amount of money but I know I could need it in the future. It was better to start saving now than regretting it later. Moreover, having some money and not need it is better than not having it and need it. And, some money lying around never hurts someone.

So, in the end, I decided to rent a room in one of the houses on the farms which were on the outskirt of the town. I admit I got the idea from the canon's Goblin Slayer himself. Moreover, the rent in the proper city would be quite expensive compared to that.

With that decided, I got out of the town and went to nearby settlements.

Most people weren't very forthcoming when I introduced myself as an adventurer.

Truthfully, I wasn't surprised.

They really shouldn't.

Adventurers are a rowdy bunch, a necessary evil compared to the monsters.

They were thugs in simple terms. You don't know which one is good and which one is bad by simply looking at them. Truthfully most were bad sorts and the good ones were far and few in between. The good adventurers suffered from a bad reputation due to this.

'Maybe by the time canon starts their reputation will also change' I mused.

I was quite surprised that the adventurers already had a bad reputation even if the Guild was started in my time, in front of my eyes. Hell, It has been only a little more than half a decade since its inception.

I tried to give my father advice on how to properly induct adventurers into the Guild and make laws but he was a stubborn bastard. Only in the next few months, I was proven right.

Still, my father continued to ignore my advice. I hated all the nobles who filled my father's head with their nonsense. And I hated my father for being so gullible.

Though in the end, I applied some cunning and was able to see him the light through some of the good nobles from whom my father listens. Now though, I can't do jackshit about it. Fortunately for me, I always planned to leave that place.

I hated the Capital – Constant whining of nobles wanting something or other; cunning council who liked to play games even if the lives of people were at stake. Maidens and courtesans ready at the back of your call. There was no adventure. There was no thrill….

Oh, who am I kidding? I loved that place. It was everything I ever wanted. I never wanted to leave that place.

But like the Norse god, Loki, I was discarded for my brother by the King though I was sure that I was his son and not some bastard considering I looked like him. I was also a little younger than my brother by 5 minutes. He will now become the King of this country after my father passes away. And I do hope he gets there as soon as possible by dying a gruesome death.

I really hated that son of a bitch. Due to him, my mother, one of the few things which were good in this fucked up world; the one who I could rely on, passed away a few months ago.

She taught me all the politics from ground zero. She taught me how to word my sentences while speaking to nobles; she taught me how to get my way from the people. She even taught me how to get my way from my father. She taught me so many things that I can't even tell. And that bastard took her away from me, one of the few things which were precious to me.

I told him that getting her pregnant while she was sick was bad but did he listen? No, of course, not. That bastard never listens. She passed away birthing my youngest sister.

And what does the king do? He marries a noblewoman, not a month after her death. Obviously, I flipped out and thus, here I am.

My only regret is that I won't be able to meet my sister considering the king forbade me from visiting her, ever.

I really pity my sister. She would never know her fun brother considering my older brother is a stick-in-the-mud type of guy. I think I even remember reading something about a princess running away from the capital in the canon, though I can't be sure, considering it's been more than a decade since I read anything about this fictional world. What I wouldn't give to read some wiki pages.

Well enough of my past. Back to the present,

I found the place in the late morning after spending a few hours going to each and every house and asking them if they would consider renting the place.

Thankfully, I only had an old ugly trunk to carry otherwise I would have gotten tired of carrying around my things. The old trunk was just a cover to protect my belongings from thieves. Nobody would ever think that an old trunk would contain thousands of gold coins' worth of material.

My trunk alone would be worth a few hundred gold coins as it had space expansion runes on it done by yours truly. With the runes, I could keep 5 times the amount, a simple trunk would carry. Sometimes, it was better to hide the expensive things in plain sight. No one would think that it contains a fortune worth of things in it.

The trunk actually contained my armor, weapons, and a few other things. They were the only thing I was allowed to take other than my clothes. I hid my royal clothes and my savings in the secret compartment just in case it was stolen.

I don't need my royal clothes now but you never know when you would need to impress someone. And as an exiled prince, I still have enough royalty to command some masses and even some minor nobles. Hell, I could even command some nobles, though they would definitely be reluctant to follow any of my orders. I will probably sell the clothes when my growth spurt will make them unusable.

Thankfully, the runes were covered with paint so that no one suspects anything. With no protection spell on it, the trunk appeared to be a normal trunk albeit on the cheap side.

Still, the trunk was far from the ultimate model, I dreamt of having.

'I will need to experiment with it to make it blood locked and maybe feather-light too' I mused stifling a grimace at having to walk while carrying the trunk. While it may have expansive runes, it did nothing for decreasing the weight.

Anyway, the house, I rented was a single-story house made of woods just like every other house outside the cities and towns. Only the buildings inside the walls are made of concrete.

This is done as a precaution all over the country in case of invasion or war. That way, the cost of building it back is significantly reduced once the conflict is over as forests are aplenty in this time and era.

Anyway, the owner of the house was a middle-aged man. He took a look at me and just nodded when I asked for a room although he raised an eyebrow as if asking me if I was stupid when I told him that I was an adventurer.

Well, I didn't want to lie to get the lodgings.

Consider this – If somehow the owner gets to know about me being an adventurer after some time, it would have created a problem for both of us as he would have undoubtedly asked me to move out. That's why I didn't lie. That's why I didn't lie to him as I didn't want to lose the only place that agreed to house me.

Still, he agreed to give me a spare room in exchange for rent, at the end, which is all that matters. I didn't wait for a second and instantly agreed.

I learned that he had the surrounding lands as farms on which he grew crops. He also had a scoop of chickens and a few cows as an extra income source.

We decided the rent to be 2 Gold coins per month for the lodging after a little bargaining, which was quite cheaper than everyone else, even the tavern.

I learned the reason for cheap rent why when I saw the room.

My room was on the 1st floor, full of dirt. It looked like it wasn't cleaned in years. There wasn't even a kitchen in the room. Still, it wasn't a problem. With my job, I wouldn't be able to afford to make my own food. I would have to eat in the taverns except for the days when I would be free.

I put my things in the room and got out after eating a little bit of left up salted meat from the morning.

With lunch eaten, a full stomach, and a place to crash, I started walking towards the town for my main objective.

It was an old town built on the ruins of older ruins a few decades ago. It was named Water Town as the town was built on an island surrounded by the river. It was connected to the mainland with a bridge.

The population has yet to cross halfway through the benchmark to become a city otherwise it would have been known as Water City. By my calculation, the capital is at least 10 times its size.

The Adventure Guild here was just next to the town gate. The shops for armory and taverns were also quite near. It was quite clever of them to put all the ruffians away from the main city. That way the townspeople would not interact with the 'rowdy' adventurers, any more than it was necessary.

The Guild was adequate but it was still quite smaller than the capital's Adventure Guild. It had an administrative office, tavern, and an inn. But the similarity to the canon ended there. From what I remembered, which was not a lot, it should have been built of white stone which would have lent it an air of tranquility. It should have actually looked like it could have been a bank. But it was made of simple concrete and no one would mistake it for a bank.

'Maybe the changes will be due to Sword Maiden' I mused.

I totally didn't come to this place to bang Sword maiden. This town was just close to the capital. Well, at least it is what I tell myself to convince me that I am not a dude whose sole motive is to bang chicks. Moreover, she will still be a preteen by my calculations. And I had a policy to never fuck a girl who is younger than 16.

Well, truthfully that's not much considering I have never fucked a girl in this life.

In this time and era, there are brothels in every town and I was from the capital where the quality and quantity of whores and prostitutes are quite a bit good. With the average life expectancy to be in the early '20s, the people don't care about the diseases. Moreover, if they get it, they can get healed with magic.

I didn't want to take the chances. Trust me, I didn't have any shortness of girls willing to do it with me but I didn't do it. With my luck, I could just imagine encountering a non-curable sex disease.

That doesn't mean that I was inexperienced. There were other ways to get pleasure.

You wouldn't believe but there was this girl who did things with her tongue that nobody else could. And another girl who had enormous breasts and could give one hell of a Boobjob. Then there was this girl who gave the best massages.

I cursed my father once again, for exiling me away from all those pleasures.

'Well I can't change the past' I thought bitterly.

Moreover, it isn't like I could find those things in other places. Every minor town has at least one brothel. Some major towns even had more than 1. And I am sure, I could find one of my standards here too. And with adventurer guild established, there isn't any chance that a brothel isn't' here.

But not now,

'Business before pleasure' is my motto.

And that brings us to the present.

I walked boldly into the Guild without breaking any stride. The Guild was empty as it was sometime after, noon. Most of the adventurers were out on their quest. Some, who were not, were milling around and about in the area. They were boasting or asking about each other's adventures. I tuned them out, not wanting to hear their drivel. I already heard much of it in the capital.

Seeing one of the receptionists was free, I started walking in her direction. Seeing me walking to her, the receptionist plastered a smile on her face. Well, I have to give her points for trying but I could easily see it was a fake one. I saw much of it in the capital as well. If it was old me he would have raised an eyebrow at seeing her fake smile. I would have even ordered her not to do that in front of me. But I have matured since then.

She was only doing what is taught to her. She was obviously in this line for quite some time. She could be even the first receptionist that this town had been assigned to by the guild.

I checked her out while walking towards her. Black hair, green eyes, average figure, average height. I would say that her age was 20+ easily.

It is quite difficult to judge anyone's age here. Everyone looks just damn pretty. Everyone was always in their peak appearance till their 30's. After that, they start to age a little. They only start to age heavily once they pass the 50-year mark (not many reach that age). Even then, some look good till they are in their 60's. Once they reach that point, they quickly start to age. Very few lived till their 50's so I didn't have many instances where I could observe them.

This is not the only freaky thing. Their appearance is also quite different than the humans of my previous world. They have big eyes, many types of eye and hair colors, and a few other things.

Considering, this is a magical fictional world, I was not surprised.

I looked at the receptionist again.

She was wearing a gentle expression. Her immaculate outfit was impeccably kept. Her black hair was down giving her a mature look. A quick glance around the hall left me no doubt that her work as a receptionist was demanding here too. And that she showed none of the strained demeanor that was all too common among professional receptionist was a sign of how well she knew her job.

"Welcome to the Adventurers Guild of Water Town! What can I do for you today?" She said wearing a fake smile. If I hadn't dealt with this type before I wouldn't have been able to distinguish it. Still, I know she just wanted to be polite. There was a saying in the Guild that you don't send the adventure with anything other than a smile. I still haven't been able to discern from where that saying originated. I would love to have more than a few words with that person.

"Hello! I am here to register as an adventure" I said in a perfectly calm voice mimicking her fake smile. But, she wouldn't be able to distinguish my smile from a real one as I had tons of practice with it in the capital back when I had to deal with the nobles.

"Is that… right?" She said. Her sweet expression momentarily slipping as she hesitated briefly, seeming at a loss of words. I felt her eyes moving from my face down my body.

'Oh right'

I already hid my royal clothes when I started the journey. And in place of it, I wore some normal clothes, well as normal as a commoner could. I got them from a corpse of a man I found just outside the capital while journeying here. I already washed the blood off it but it still had a few holes from the arrows that were used to kill the man. Judging by nothing else I found on the body, I suspected that he was killed by the bandits.

At that time, it helped me hide my identity by wearing these commoner clothes. Moreover, the journey had left me bedraggled. She probably thought I was some other street urchin aiming to be Adventurer. Well, it's her loss if she can't see talent when she sees one.

She resumed her smile with practiced ease and said "I see. Can you read and write?" She asked.

"Yes," I curtly replied feeling a little offended even if I know she is just doing her job thoroughly, though I had to give her some points as there was not even a hint of mockery in her tone.

"Then fill this out, please. If there is anything you don't understand, just ask. You can leave the 'Abilities' and 'Adventure History' spots Blank. The guild will fill those later" She said giving me a white sheet.

It was the Adventure sheet. Black letters paraded across the light brown vellum. I nodded and took the sheet and pen from her hands.

Name: Sasuke (Obviously a lie. Can't tell my real name without making a scene)

Age: 15 (Actually it is 14 but they won't accept my form otherwise. Although they can't tell whether I am younger, I look older due to the mature vibes I give. At least that's what I tell myself)

Sex: Male

Class: Mage (I would actually come under Multi-class as I was a Warrior, Archer, Scout, Hunter, and Healer too. But I didn't mention them, as that would have been suspicious)

Hair color: Red

Eye color: Black

Body Type: Lean and Muscled

Weight: 76 KG

Height: 5'7 (168 cm)

Skills: Magic (Actually, I was skilled in hand to hand combat and almost all weapons too. But I didn't mention them, as that would have been suspicious)

Spells: 3

Miracles: Nil


Adventure History: Nil

Now I know what you are saying. How could I write my name when the characters call each other by their profession?

Well, truthfully the canon's naming is a load of bull. Think for a second. There are many people who are in the same profession. How can they be called without getting confused about who is who?

Simple! We differentiate them from each other, by their original name.

Moreover, think – what would have Goblin Slayer filled in his sheet for the name. He couldn't have written Goblin Slayer as the name came after he started to get recognized for his goblin slaying. He wasn't born with that name. His sister would have called him a different name.

I suspected that either the author was just being lazy or he wanted to do something different when he named the characters.

In any case, I filled out the form in no time and handed the finished sheet to her. She was surprised to see me write it in surprisingly good handwriting and a short time, as she looked up at my face when she looked at the sheet for the first time.

I just raised my eyebrow and stared back.

"Yes I can write in good handwriting, and yes I am, educated," my expression said it all.

She blushed a little at getting caught and instantly looked down.

At least all that time I had to spent practicing calligraphy was for some good. Then again, it also helped in my runes too. I gave a short prayer to my mom for forcing me to sit on the calligraphy lessons while I was young.

Once the receptionist read it, fully, she again looked at me. No doubt thinking about how I can know about Magic when I am obviously a street-urchin. I just raised an eyebrow again. She even blushed again. But instead of looking down, she started to speak up. Words somehow froze in her mouth. She maybe thought otherwise and didn't say anything.

'She probably thinks I graduated from some Magical academy and got robbed or something' I realized judging by her expression.

While I was thinking that, she then took a silver stylus and carved a series of flowing letters into a white porcelain tile. She then slid the tile across the desk to me. I looked it over and discovered it bore the same information as my adventure sheet in closely spaced and small letters.

"This will serve as your Identification. It is very important. It will be used to corroborate your identity if something happens to you so try not to lose it, Okay" She said full in lecture mode.

'Maybe she was trying to cover her mistake by lecturing me' I mused

I just nodded not wanting to imagine my death so horrific that they will need some tag to identify my identity. Even so, they can't identify my real identity anyway.

That thought gave me a pause for a moment.

In case I died, there would be no way to deliver that message to my family, especially my brother. While I disliked his attitude for being subservient to the king, he was still the boy whom this body's previous occupant sparred and played with. When I hijacked his body, he did leave an impression on me.

I shook my head of the stray thoughts.

The receptionist didn't notice my thoughts wander and continued without pausing "The quests are posted over there" She indicated a corkboard that covered almost an entire wall. Well it appears I will not be out of the job easily "Choose ones that are appropriate to your level, of course" She said in the end

"Personally..." She continued "...I'd recommend getting your feet wet by cleaning the sewers," She said

I just nodded and slipped the tile into my pocket. Pickings were slim since a huge crowd of adventurers has been going over all morning. And in no way was I going to those 'Sewers' quests. I have already killed so it doesn't bother me anymore. Moreover, some greenhorns could take that quest. Chances of fatality are low on those quests after all, compared to the goblin quests which are also porcelain rank quests.

I also wondered how they can have the 'Rat' and 'Cockroach' problem. This was Water Town after all. I distinctly remembered that they didn't have such a problem when Goblin slayer visited it.

'Maybe they ceased to exist when Sword Maiden came into the picture' I mused.

Just thinking about her makes my cock goes all stiff. I couldn't wait for the day when I meet her. Then again she will still be a pre-teen for now. Moreover, I remember that she didn't have those amazing breasts during her teen years when she was on the secret mission to defeat the Demon Lord.

Shaking my thoughts away I looked over there searching for 'Goblins' related quests. I didn't have to look around much. Like in the novel, veteran adventurers didn't take it so newbie adventurers had to deal with the Goblins.

Surprisingly there was only 1 quest. Apparently, a village by the northern river was facing some Goblin problem. First, they only stole some corps but later got bold and started stealing livestock. They also injured a young man on guard when he tried to stop them from kidnapping a girl. The quest was only a day old. Thankfully, it was also a porcelain-ranked quest.

I took it to the receptionist. She checked the quest sheet and nodded.

"The Reward for this quest could is 5 silver coins. Are you sure you want to take this? It could be dangerous without a party" She asked

Yeah, I totally forgot to tell you how the rewards work. It was actually my idea which my father agreed on later. The capital gives a certain amount of money to the guilds that are all over the place. The capital already assigned a certain amount of coins for certain monsters when the adventurer guild was started.

Still, sometimes it is not enough and in that case, quest givers give some money from their pocket. But at least this way the villagers won't become stingy and come to the Guild only when their options are dire.

Villagers still praise me to this day for that.

What? You thought I would do all of that, free.

Like hell, I will.

No, I wasn't that noble.

I couldn't gain any monetary reward for that and I didn't even need that after enjoying half a decade of royal life at that time. There was only one thing that I needed, and that was popularity. So, I started a rumor which ironically, was the truth.

Even now, after the last incident which led me to the banishment, small folk loves me. Judging by the number of people I heard gossiping, my banishment still remains the most popular news.

I also proposed an EMI payment method in case someone doesn't have the money but it was rejected by my father, our 'benevolent' king. Let's not talk about that man. Even thinking about him makes me so angry.

Still, I wasn't here for the money. Sure 5 Silver coins seem a little less for a party but for a single man it was more than enough.

'Well judging by the quest, there should be a maximum of a dozen goblins as otherwise, they would have easily kidnapped the girls by now. They are most probably wanderers' I thought.

Still, I can't be fully sure about that unless and until I go there.

I just nodded at her question.

"Very well" She sighed and then explained to me the outline of the quest which I had already read.

She looked at me like I was a dead man walking.

On one hand, I found it good that she was worrying over no named urchin. On the other hand, I was a little annoyed that she would underestimate me even if I wrote my abilities. Even if I didn't fully disclose my abilities, they were quite more than most porcelain-ranked adventurers. But then again she may have thought that I lied in my sheet. It wasn't that uncommon for newbies to lie in their sheets.

Although I wanted to ask for other Goblin related quest that newbie adventurers took, I decided not to do that. I was only 10th rank after all. She wouldn't tell me about any other quest – which I was certain of. She already thinks that I will lose my life doing this quest.

'First I have to show her my prowess and only then will she take me seriously' I mused.

God that sounded lewd when I think about it.

I shook my head of any lust-filled thoughts.

'I really need to get to a brothel. It's been weeks since I had any release' I thought with amusement.

I just nodded to her and went back to my room but not before buying an adventure tool kit and potions for a few copper coins. The adventure kit contained a rope and some other things that can prove useful during a quest.


And, done with the first chapter.

So how did you like the 1st chapter? Be sure to comment and leave suggestions. I have already decided to add Sword Maiden as the lead Harem Member. I was also thinking of adding Alchemist. You can tell me which female character would you like MC paired with.

On further Note: This is just a trial run. I won't update another chapter until the English version of Volume 10 is released. But then again I might update. It all depends on the mood.

Also, make sure to check out my other stories in the same genre (Self Insert)