July 2018

Christian, Ana, Kate: 25

Elliot: 28

Kate Pov

"What do you want Elliot" don't look at him… don't look at him Kate. Stay strong!

"I just wanted to see you" he looked so heartbroken, I felt bad for him. But I shouldn't. I have to stay strong I can't keep being weak and giving in, I'll never get my happily ever after being here when he wants me. I can't keep waiting I'll be waiting forever.

" I coulddddnnnn-"

"Elliot, please I can't anymore." Stupid tears, why can't I ever control them, why does he have to look like that, he did this, he's the reason we're here the way we are. Strong Kate, you can do this.

He just keeps looking at me, looking into my soul searching and hoping. "I can't do this Elliot, please, it hurts too much" I say as let out a sob not being able to control it. He doesn't say anything but I can see the tears freely falling now.

"I'm marrying Trevor today" I take a deep breath, "What we had, whatever it is that we had was everything to me, but you've shown me time and time again that you're not ready and I can't wait around for you to be ready El, I can't be someone's maybe or someone's backup plan-".

"you were never a backup plan" he stumbles out quickly.

" You go fuck whoever you want and think that I'm just going to keep waiting for you be done? Sounds like a backup plan to be Elliot"

I steal a glance at those eyes, those beautiful crystal clear eyes that look glassy and pleading and take a deep breath. All I want to do is run into his arms, but I have to stay strong.

"You only want me now because Trevor is here making me his wife, he wants to actually be with me and start a family with me and that'll mean your game is over". Even though I'm saying the words it sounds like they aren't coming out of my mouth.

"I know, I just" he pauses "I just can't do it Katie, I can't see you walk down the aisle, I'm sorry". I'm breaking his heart and I can see it clear as day, this time we both know that's it, we both know what me marrying signifies, no more sneaking off no more one last time's, this is it. As horrible as all the things we have done were, marriage means more to the both of us.

"I just came to give you your present, and to say I'm sorry for everything, I know sorry doesn't seem like a good enough word but I am, truly and deeply." There goes those damn tears again, how do his eyes look bluer, what the actual fuck!

He's standing right in front of me now the man I always thought I would marry. The man I envisioned coming home everyday and scooping me in his arms then scooping up the soccer team of little blue eyed babies we would have. He's the one I always envisioned growing old with because with him I've never felt more alive time and time again. He's the one I was supposed live happily ever after with in the white house on the end of the street that we would buy from old Mrs. Jones. He takes me out of my day dream by clearing his throat and walking towards me.

He grabs my hands to hold me there, green eyes to blue. " I'll always love you, forever. And I'm sorry I can't stay for the wedding, I really tried but itssss, its just to hard to watch my girl become someone else's". He reaches over and kisses my forehead as I hear he door opening again and he hands me the small box. He reaches up and wipes the tears that are falling hard now from my cheeks "Goodbye Katie".

He wipes his tears with the back of his hands and turns around to leave and all I want to do is hold on to him and never let go. He goes to Ana and kisses her on the cheek and walks out closing the door behind him. I stand there frozen. What do I do?

Ana walks up to me slowly "Kate, breathe are you okay?" she grabs my hands that are burning from his touch like a live wear as if I was just electrocuted. " Kate look at me, tell me what you need." I hear her but I cant come back to my body I cant focus,

She grabs my face and it gets me out of my trance "I can get you a shot, a get away car, I can have Christian call for a helicopter even, tell me what you need but you have to talk to me, damnit Kate say something!"

I can finally open my mouth but the words that tumble out is not what I'm thinking "I can't Ana"

I gain focus and look at her, I need to focus and be strong I can do this

"I'm marrying Trevor today, I accepted his proposal I said yes. It's my wedding day I'm getting married" pep talks are good pep talks work. I can do this.

"Kate, are you sure" she says as she continues to hold me and for that I'm thankful I don't think I can move right now never mind stand up on my own.

" Trevor loves me Ana, He's a good man. I can't leave him on our wedding day Elliot has had a thousand chances he doesn't really mean it"

" Kate, he has changed"

"Ana please"

"Okay, okay" says Ana raising her hands in surrender. " I'm always on your side"

"Are we ready" I turn to see my mom walking in slowly as if approaching a time bomb no doubt probably catching Elliot on his way out.

"The hairstylist wants a last minute touch up we'll be right out" says Ana speaking for me, giving me the small life line I need. I can do this, I can do this.

" yeah, and can you send the makeup artist back in I'll be ready in 10 minutes mom don't worry" plaster the smile on, one foot in front of the other. You can do this Kate. Trevor is safe, Elliot is a loose cannon, you cant trust him to be right.

" I can do this" I whisper out loud.

Why am I doing this?