For a long time now I've wanted to write a Cal/Gillian fic based on the classical book "Peter Pan", which has always been one of my favorites. Peter and Wendy are, of course, iconic; and I think Cal and Gill actually share a very similar dynamic between them. In this one-shot I took several of my favorite quotes from Peter Pan and tried to put into words how each quote applies to Cal and Gillian. I hope you'll enjoy!
Also, for those of you who might also be reading my multi-chapter fic "I choose you" -I apologise it's taking so long, but the next chapter of that story will be up soon, too. I've already written most of it, I just need to find the inspiration to finish the last scene… In the meantime, please enjoy this story and know that I will continue "I choose you" in due time.
["I think he comes in by the window," said Wendy. Oh, surely she must have been dreaming.]
He's the boy she sees in her bedroom window, leaving his shadow laying around for her to catch and bother with. (not caring about the repercussions to his actions, knowing she will deal with the aftermath of his behaviour.)
He's the boy who takes her out on adventures and teaches her how to fly. He's the boy who says he loves her, but doesn't want to grow up and commit to her, who smiles and calls her his girl, but gives her a timble instead of a kiss.
He's the Peter to her Wendy, the reality to her imagination.
He's all she's ever had, but he'll never really be hers.
["All you need is faith and trust. Oh, and a little bit of pixiedust!"]
"You can't go back to that place again," she says, trying to keep the fear out of her voice.
"I've never been to Afghanistan in my life," he says with a smug smile on his face.
"Don't you trust me then?" (he doesn't say the words out loud, only with his eyes. But she can hear them clear as day, none the less.)
And the thing is that she does trust him. She does have faith in him. She does.
But she also loves him, and the thought of losing him terrifies her so much her breath catches in her lungs.
"Fear is healthy," she says. "Don't you forget it."
"Right you are," he says, smiling. (but all she hears is CRA)
(he gives her a timble on the cheek and goes)
[Alas, he had already forgotten he owed his bliss to Wendy. He thought he had attached the shadow himself.
"How clever I am," he crowed, "oh, the cleverness of me!"
"Of course I did nothing!" Wendy exclaimed with frightful sarcasm.
"You did a little," Peter said carelessly, and continued to dance.]
"You saved his ass today," Ria says, like she didn't already know. (Like it's the first time she's sown his shadow back on, or fought off pirates for him.)
"It's a force of habit," she says.
"What makes this time any different?" asks Ria.
What makes it different is that he knows it. Knows it was her. What makes it different is that he didn't crow in cockiness, didn't make it come out as his own accomplishment, merely carried out by her.
He didn't say, you did a little. He said, you did it all.
"He said thank you," she says.
[He had one of his dreams that night, and cried in his sleep for a long time, and Wendy held him tightly.]
"Can I sleep in your spare bedroom tonight? If it's not too much of a problem?"
Him showing up at her doorstep late at night, all hurt and no pride, asking if he can stay the night, that's probably the closest she'll ever get to hearing him say I need you.
(And it's okay, really, because she may not be as fluent in bodylanguage as he is, but she's good enough to almost see the words she so desperately wants to hear written on his face.)
"Of course," she says. And then she wraps her arms around him.
(she holds him tight)
[Instead of feeling that he was behaving badly he danced with glee.]
"No, 'cause it's been donkey's years since she's had a bit, you know, of anything special in her life, right," he says. "I mean, you know, not, not that there's anything wrong with her 'cause far from it. I mean, she's just a little bit—"
"Awkward," she cuts him off.
He smiles. "Awkward is good," he says. "Right, just talk amongst yourself for a minute," he says to her, proceeding to pull her boyfriend aside.
She wants to yell at him to go away, to get lost, to leave them alone. But she knows it would only encourage him in his behaviour.
She bites her lip instead, and goes after them.
["Second star to the right," said Peter, "and then straight on 'till morning."]
"I never realised there were so many stars," she says, looking up at the sky. "There aren't," Cal says with a smug smile on his face. "that's my very expensive scotch talking."
"Ooh," she says, matching his smile. "What's mine is mine, render unto ceasar, you know, and all that," she says. Her vision is swimming a little bit and her head feels light and euphoric. She feels as though she's dreaming, and nothing is real.
"You've had a good day, haven't you?" Cal asks, holding her up as she wavers on her legs. She nods empathically. "And you're gonna thank me for it," she says, her hands laying on his shoulders, "and I'm gonna stand here until you do."
Cal smiles and nods, before wrapping his arms around her and embracing her tightly. She closes her eyes and feels light enough that she would surely float away, if he wasn't holding her down to earth. (She holds onto him tightly, because she knows she wouldn't be able to find her way up there with all the stars.)
"I'm waiting," she says as they break apart. He smiles one of his rarest smiles, the ones that actually reach his eyes. "Thank you, for cleaning up my mess, Gillian," he says.
Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Please do leave me a review, I'd love to know your thoughts.