Camp Gottapee had some of the hottest girls in Royal Woods. And the best place to view them was in the girls' shower. When nobody was looking, Zach and I drilled a couple of tiny holes in the walls so we could get a good look at the action that went on inside. Call us whatever you want, but if you had ever seen these girls in person, you'd understand.
One day, Zach and I woke up at around 9am to catch the 'early bird special,' if you know what I'm sayin'. We had to sneak out of the cabin because if anybody else here found out about those holes, they'd patch them up. We snuck over to the girls' shower where, sure enough, we could hear the sounds of running water coming from inside. We had made sure to put the holes on the shadowy side near the trees so they'd be hidden better, which worked out great because it meant we had one for each stall. We took a peak inside to see who was on the babe buffet today.
"Who do you got, Zach?" I whispered.
"Ohohoh boy," he said. "I got Tabby's sweet, succulent British ass. There's a little tattoo of a star on it. She's singing some kind of rock song and her dancing's making it jiggle around like a jell-o mold."
"Nice, but I can do you one better."
"Oh yeah? Who do you got?"
"Only the latin bombshell herself. Ronnie Anne."
"What?! Dude, if Ronnie Anne see's you, she's gonna destroy us!"
"Shhhh! Calm down. She's not gonna see us as long as we stay quiet."
This was the first time I'd seen Ronnie Anne in the shower and I wasn't about to let Zach blow it for me. I watched as she rubbed soap all over her huge bare tits. The water flowed down her body, covering her sweet brown skin and when she turned around, I could see her big, firm, tight latin ass. I can't believe Lincoln ever let someone as sexy as Ronnie Anne slip through his fingers. I was in paradise right now.
Suddenly, I heard Zach suppressing a laugh. "Dude, Tabby just spanked herself!" he said.
"No way!" That was so hilarious, I started to laugh too. But when I turned back to my own hole, all my joy suddenly flew south, because staring back at me was the angry soul-stealing eyeball of Ronnie Anne. "Zach, run."
Before I could move, Ronnie Anne's terminator-strength hand shot through the wall strangled my throat. Zach screamed and ran off into the woods, leaving me for dead. "IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA NOT MINE!" he shouted. Thanks a lot, bro. As I looked into Ronnie Anne's horrifying glare, I said my final prayers in my head. "So, you like watching girls in the shower, huh? Well why don't you watch this?"
The last thing I saw before passing out was Ronnie Anne's fist coming straight for my face.
Later that day, I had an eyepatch, a bandage on my head and an icepack on my crotch. I was unbelievably sore as I rode the bus into town with Stella and Liam.
"I can't believe you, Rusty!" Stella shouted at me. "How could you and Zach be such pigs?!"
"I'm a teenage boy! What do you want from me?!" I said, trying to defend myself.
"I want you to have a little more respect for women."
"Yeah, buddy," added Liam. "Meemaw Flanagan always said to respect a lady's privacy."
"Oh, knock off the down home wisdom crap, Liam. I'm the one who almost died today. Besides, Erica and Jackson already read me the riot act."
"Whatever. You're lucky they didn't kick you out of camp, you creep," said Stella.
The rest of the ride was pretty quiet. I guess I did feel a little bad for what I'd done, but what choice did I have? I talk a big game all the time, but no girl ever really wants to date me. Honestly, the girl I was most interested in was Girl Jordan. There was gonna be a big party at camp that night and I knew it would be the perfect time to talk to her, but as soon as she heard what I'd done, there was no way she was gonna wanna be anywhere near me.
Just then, the bus pulled up in front of a place called Bub's General Store. I came into town hoping I could find something that would convince Girl Jordan to talk to me. This seemed like as good a place as any to start looking. I stepped through the doors and the place was pretty much what you'd expect a general store to be like. Small, rustic, shelves lined with all kinds of random stuff.
"Welcome!" Suddenly, I was approached by a large man with a big round gut, a red suit and a wispy mustache. "I'm Bub. If there's anything I can help you find, please let me know."
"Actually, I am looking for something. Do you have anything here that'll impress the ladies?"
"Ooooh. I believe I have just the thing, Casanova. Follow me." The guy lead me to the back of the store, where there was a shelf full of lots of little bottles. He pulled one off the shelf and showed it to me. "Studies show that the way to a woman's heart is through her nose. And no scent does the job better than Burning Desire."
"Hmm. I like the sound of that." It was a cologne sample. I sprayed some on my wrist and gave it a smell. "Smells amazing. And you're sure it'll get a girl's attention?"
"Oh yes, trust me. One spritz of that and no woman will be able to keep her hands off you."
"Sweet! I'll take it." I handed him the money and took off. "Look out ladies 'cause here comes the Rust Man!"
"Go get 'em, ladykiller!" he called back to me. "…before the ladies kill you. Mhmhmhmhm! Mhm! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"What was that?"
"Oh, uh, nothing. Just had something in my throat," he said, coughing something up.
That was weird. I could've sworn it was some sort of evil laugh that would foreshadow trouble for me. Oh well, guess not. Time to go woo Girl Jordan.