89Disclaimer: I do not own Danganronpa at this current moment... nor will I ever (probably).
Prologue: To Survive
Her breaths were heavy, labored; movements slow and precise. The actions she was about to undertake were reprehensible. She knew this, but she simply could not bring herself to care.
She had to get out.
Looking back, she could admit her actions were not of human design. The body she inhabited was empty. A husk left behind meant only to house her primal instincts.
She had to get out.
The same thoughts were echoing through her mind in a state of chaotic madness. She couldn't stay here anymore, not like this.
She had to get out.
A knock on the door snapped her to attention. Gripping the handle of the knife in her hands until her knuckles became white, she stepped forward.
She was getting out. Now.
Opening the door in one swift motion she plunged the makeshift weapon forward into the area she suspected her target's stomach would be. Feeling surprisingly little resistance to her actions, a rush of adrenaline filled her.
As she pulled the blade back out, a flash of negative emotions filled her mind. The shame and disgust she felt no longer masked behind false bravado. She felt her eyes watering.
While she could not claim to have any form of attachment towards the one she had chosen for escape it was still a human life that had been cut short.
Looking up she spoke softly, her voice full of warped regret.
"I'm sorry Kuwata-kun-"
Her voice was caught in her throat.
Staring back at her was not the expected pained expression of her target.
"Naegi-kun…?"
Gazing at her with a look of both hurt and confusion, the brown-haired boy dropped to the floor. A large pool of blood began expanding from beneath his chest.
"NAEGI-KUN!"
Falling beside him, like a puppet with its strings cut, she closed the door and gently pulled the boy's head into her lap. She began petting his head as tears pooled around her eyes.
"No… no, this can't be happening…" she felt herself hyperventilating.
God, what had she done.
Makoto looked up, a vacant expression in his eyes. The surface he was laying on was so soft and it smelled perfect. The face of the idol, normally cheerful in demeanor was twisted into something alien; tears cascading down her cheeks.
To him, however, she looked simply angelic.
"Are… are you a doll…?"
She blinked at his reiterated statement from when they first met. The singer tried to force a smile but instead began choking on her words.
"There is no way someone like me could be anything as precious as that." her head bowed lower as her tears began gushing out. "I'm terrible."
He looked at her weakly, using his remaining strength to gently wipe away a few of the tears still left on her cheek.
She held his hand in place, feeling the warmth slowly leave his body.
"I-" he paused as a coughing fit took over. "I know… how much you wanted to get out…"
A few tears began to escape his eyes. "I just wish I could… have helped you somehow." he stopped to sputter as a wave of nausea passed throughout his body.
"I'm sorry, Maizono-san…"
The idol couldn't take the guilt anymore and hugged his head tighter into her, willing herself not to lose the contents of her stomach.
"No, Naegi-kun." she sobbed, "This wasn't supposed to happen. I just- I don't know what to do." she was stuttering, a truthful explanation evading her.
His life was fading; she could see it. There was no form of help within reach and his condition was worsening every second she faltered.
She couldn't take it if he died. The idea appalled her far more than she ever thought possible.
The only person that believed in her was going to die.
And it was her fault.
Makoto looked up, the last of his vision fading. He could see the complete despair in his friends' eyes and internally shuddered at the depths he could see within them.
It was strange. He was scared of dying, he did not want to die. He knew this, but the face of desperation on the girl above him was what spurred him to speak.
"Drawer…"
Sayaka stopped hastily wiped her eyes as she looked more clearly at the rapidly fading boy on her lap. The word echoed through her mind.
Drawer…?
She looked towards the drawers in the desk and her eyes opened wide.
The sewing kit!
Taking a deep breath, she gently took the key out of the injured boy's pocket and bolted out into the hall.
Opening the door to her dorm she ran over and grabbed the item in question. Sparing a glance to the side, she spotted the room's garbage bin. In the middle of it was the disk that incited her paranoia in the first place.
'This is your chance!'
What…?
'You wanted to get out, didn't you?' the voice in her head continued bitingly. 'Well this is your chance. Just switch rooms again and get Kuwata to take the fall when he comes to visit. Unorthodox, but it would surely work.'
No.
"I don't care if it would work or not, it isn't worth it!"
Sayaka shook her head following her outburst. She was currently very appreciative of the soundproof nature of the rooms.
It certainly didn't paint a pretty picture of her mental state, after all.
'Are you sure about that?' her thoughts continued, nonchalantly. 'You may never get another chance at this again.
For a second, she began considering it more carefully. Could she do this? If she went through with it she could get out, get back to her friends.
Her job.
Her life.
Her dream-
The thoughts stopped there.
It wasn't worth it.
Her ambitions could not be worth the death of someone as pure as Makoto. If she truly believed that, then her career was no longer healthy for her to maintain.
Steeling her resolve, she ran back to the Luckster's room and closed the door behind her.
Gently placing the boys head back down on her lap, she scrambled to grab the unopened package and hastily ripped it apart. Taking the needle and some thread into her shaky hands she felt his pulse and breathed a sigh of relief at the weak response.
She could do this.
"I have been the worst assistant possible Nae... Makoto, and I certainly don't deserve to call myself that anymore…" she shook her head. "But I promise that I will save you."
The next hour was spent stitching her fellow Ultimate back to health. Eventually, with the result of a sizable-looking scar, she finished her work and stepped back.
It was lucky that she had expected someone of a different height, otherwise, his wound could have been inflicted into a far more serious area.
'Lucky, huh.'
Having locked her emotions into the recesses of her mind during the procedure she felt them all bubbling up once more as she gazed upon the broken boy at her feet.
'Was this really worth it?' her conscience once again mocked her. 'You tried to murder someone and the only one in this place that actually gives a damn about you paid the price for it.'
Her mind was on the recesses of breaking down but she needed to hold on. At least for Makoto's sake if not her own.
Picking up the brown-haired boy she placed him on the bed and tucked him in. Feeling his forehead, she frowned lightly at the offset of a fever.
'If only the water wasn't shut off during nighttime. Damnit.' She inwardly swore. Leave it to that stupid bear to make things more difficult than they already were.
Parting his hair away from his forehead she gently began wiping the sweat away from it.
Taking a pillow and a spare sheet she laid down on the floor next to the bed.
Holding onto his hand she fell asleep as thoughts of escape filtered through her dreams…
"Ngh… what happened…?"
Sayaka slowly got up from the ground and looked around her room. Why was she on the floor…?
She gasped.
"Naegi-kun!"
Scrambling to look over at the bed she was stunned to find it was empty. Made, even. Did he leave already?
"Wait, that's not right." She spoke confusedly. "He should have been far too injured to walk so soon."
Opening her PDA, she noticed that the scheduled morning breakfast meeting was well underway.
"Maybe he's there…?" she pondered. It seemed unlikely.
Though as a means of calming her anxiety, she figured it would be best to check.
Fishing into her pocket to pull out the key to her room she walked over to it and quickly got ready for the day. Putting the kitchen knife into her desk drawer intent on replacing it later, she headed towards the shower.
Keeping up appearances was a necessity after all.
In record time, the Ultimate Idol left her room and switched the nameplates back.
She then headed towards the cafeteria.
"Ah, Maizono-san! Great to have you join us for breakfast!"
Sayaka blinked before forcing a smile.
"Thank you Ishimaru-kun. Sorry about getting here so late, I had trouble sleeping last night."
The Ultimate Moral Compass seemed to consider her excuse before waving it off.
"That's no problem! You're not the last one to get here, after all!" he smiled. "Just make sure not to make a habit of it!"
Making sure her smile remained stagnant the idol nodded before walking past him and towards the large table holding the rest of the classmates.
"Maizono-chan, oi!"
Her eyes widened as the voice from the Ultimate Baseball Pro reached her ears.
Awkwardly waving back at him he saddled up with a grin.
"So, what was up last night? I knocked on your door but I never got an answer from ya." He began rubbing his neck sheepishly. "I hope everything's alright?"
The idol fought back the reflexive bile making its way up her throat. She shook her head before crafting another 'perfect' smile for the athlete in front of her.
"Yes, I'm sorry about that Kuwata-kun. Everything's alright now." She bowed her head. "I'm going to get some breakfast now. Talk later?"
Without waiting for a response, she disengaged from the conversation and hurriedly walked over to the rest of the group.
She beamed in true happiness as she spotted the Luckster sitting at the table.
"Naegi-kun-!"
She stopped short. He was talking to Kyoko and Junko, a grin on his face mirrored faintly by theirs.
What was going on…?
Trying again she poked him lightly on his shoulder. Still no response.
Kyoko turned to look at her. Her eyes were narrowed and she took the underlying threat within them.
Junko had much the same look on her face, though it was decidedly more murderous and yet somehow less detectable. If Sayaka hadn't been so good at identifying others she would have missed it entirely.
Where had that come from?
Makoto, having finished his food got up from the table and brought his plate to the kitchen to wash it.
The idol was conflicted.
Should she go after him?
"No."
Sayaka jumped back with a startled "eep" and was met face to face with the Ultimate ? who narrowed her eyes.
"I don't know what you did. But you need to stay away for now."
Where the hell did this come from?
The blue-haired teenager cocked her head to the side and feigned ignorance.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Kirigiri-san."
Kyoko picked up on the hostility within the honorific and shrugged her shoulders.
"Alright. Well, if that's the case, then mind telling me why Naegi-kun didn't respond to you?"
"No." she bit her lip. "He was probably too engrossed in your conversation."
Kyoko shook her head.
"You're free to arrive at your own conclusions as I am mine." She looked back at the masked expression her fellow Ultimate wore and sighed. "Just some friendly advice: don't push it right now. I don't mean it to be cruel, and again I can only draw assumptions about what happened but you should give him time."
She paused in her step.
"Wounds don't heal so easily. Mental or physical."
Sayaka involuntarily flinched at the accusation, watching as the mysterious girl walked away. Was she told about what happened last night? No. There should only be two people aware of said events and she knew she hadn't mentioned it.
Did Makoto? It didn't seem likely.
While he had talked to Junko briefly in the past, he had never been seen interacting with Kyoko before now. Even if he had, however, she doubted he would ever turn his back on her.
'Wasn't that the entire reason why you chose him to be your target?'
She gnashed her teeth as more traitorous thoughts entered her mind. Things were getting worse and she couldn't keep this up anymore.
She had to go talk to him.
Well, that had been the plan at least.
She tried. She really did. Unfortunately, it seemed that every time she tried to approach him something happened which made the Luckster temporarily unavailable.
At first, she thought the fact that so many people wanted to talk to him was cute, but it started to become aggravating when nearly every girl in their class stole that chance from her.
Seriously, since when was he so easygoing with everyone here?
She realized that perhaps there was never a point where he wasn't. She had just stolen so much of his time that he had never been given the chance to branch out and converse with anyone else.
But, she didn't mean to do that…
'Are you sure about that?' she looked down. 'Making him want to be around only you? Wasn't that what you wanted? It made using him that much easier.'
Sayaka shook her head rapidly.
"No! I may have almost done something irredeemable but I never faked my feelings around him."
'Really?' the voice scoffed.
"Yes!" she cried. "I really care about him!"
A knock on the door interrupted her frantic monologue. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she reluctantly opened it.
"Naegi-kun!?"
Hurriedly the singer stood back; offering to let him come in. He didn't react.
Sayaka looked at him in confusion.
"Naegi-kun, what-"
"Maizono-san."
She flinched at the informal moniker attached to her name. While she knew it was the way he referred to her before; the tone was colder than expected.
"Maizono-san…" he began, softly. "I think I need some space from you… for a while, at least."
Sayaka felt her world shatter around her. She unwillingly took a step back.
"Nae… Naegi-kun why…"
She reached out her hand towards him, her eyes becoming increasingly glassy as he stood further out of reach.
He didn't answer immediately.
"Maizono-san the more I think about everything, the more I realize that I put too much trust in you far too quickly."
He shook his head.
"This is hard. You can't even imagine how difficult this is for me to say." he smiled derisively. "Even now all I want to do is apologize and hang out with you like before, but…"
Makoto looked back up his eyes shining with determination.
"I'm pretty sure we both need this, alright?" He spoke with conviction, though his smile was fading fast. "This won't be easy on me either but… I can't go on like this."
Doing his best to ignore the heartbroken expression upon the idol's face and the tremulous feeling within his own stomach he stepped away from the door frame, his hair shadowing his eyes.
His final words twisted the knife deeper into her chest.
"I'm sorry, Maizono-san. Goodbye."
As the door closed, Sayaka Maizono wept until she had nothing left to give.
God, what had she done.
Side Note: The ending is purposefully rushed-sounding. Later chapters will go back and look at this scene and others specifically. Just be patient:).
A/N: Welcome to the first chapter of my new undertaking:). Upon writing this, a good majority of this fanfic is complete. Something I intend to do with most of my longer stories moving forward. (Not all, but most). This concept came to me years ago but I struggled to write beyond the first chapter of the prologue for so long… until all of a sudden I wrote about 40,000 words over the course of a couple weeks:P.
This story will deviate greatly from canon, in ways that I think would be realistic of the characters. I will focus on both viewpoints of Sayaka and Makoto and how I think their relationship would have continued had she survived. A couple people have written stories with a concept similar to this before; but they change things in ways I don't, and vice-versa… and they are all abandoned so.:p
Please review if you want a chapter sooner than otherwise:). Unsure what the upload schedule will be but any support given will make me post quicker:D.