A/N: So, I personally, am one of those people who needs reassurance of a ship's mutual love, and I often work out headcanons to make myself feel better lol. So, that's where this thing came from! ENJOY!
Who knew such a small book could squash Wanda's mind to bits?
The book taunted her. It laughed, it mocked, it poked fun at her, and gave nothing in the way of an apology. The mint, leather cover slipped beneath her clammy hands, the same shade of silver as her ghostly face. Cosmo was saying goodnight to Poof and Timmy. She would have at least ten minutes, as Poof usually requested a bedtime story. He would never, ever know.
And, to make the proposition all the more enticing, she would finally know how he felt. No, not about her, she knew he loved her. She just needed to know, finally, if his heart lay with another as it lay in her own palms.
She fingered the hundreds of pages. The thin, brittle paper snapped as she tossed it from finger to finger, in nervous thought and anxious regret. Could she do it? Could she betray the trust they had built up for ten thousand years, all because she couldn't sit down and have a serious talk with him?
As her stomach pinched her spine and her fingers drummed to today's date, she decided yes, she could.
The taste of guilty, nasty venom licked her lips with each passing page, and it did not cease until she was lost in the day's entry.
We went with Timmy to school today again. I have to remember to call dibs on being the pencil and not the backpack before Wanda, because being the backpack hurts when Timmy runs too fast.
Recess was good. I think Wanda misses Timmy when he plays with his friends sometimes. She pretends it doesn't bother her and she needs the rest. I think she likes having him around her. I think she thinks he's her son. I don't blame her. I think he's my son.
The brief flash of sweetness collapsed under a nuclear explosion of guilt. How could she read this? These were Cosmo's private thoughts, she wasn't supposed to see them.
Her arms outstretched towards the dresser again, but the next sentence tied up her conscious, duct-taped its mouth and told it to shut up so she could continue reading.
I tried my plan again today, but Wanda didn't care. I don't get it. Wanda never gets jealous. Maybe I can ask for that for my birthday.
I always get jealous when Juandissimo starts kissing her hand, or looks at her with those ugly, stupid eyes, or pushes me aside. And she looks right back! She looks all happy to see him, she doesn't even care! She probably likes him. She probably thinks that she made a big mistake.
I tried really hard today, Journal, I really did! I told Wanda how pretty I thought the Tooth Fairy is, I told her how I wondered what her hair felt like, I thought of every disgusting thing in the book. That last one made me gag.
She just gets mad at me. She doesn't get jealous, she just gets mad at me. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I'll ask Timmy.
The sweet, soprano voice vibrated off the walls and into her ears, catching her red-handed like a thief in the gallery. Her heart, once suffocating in her throat, plummeted to her feet and quit breathing on the spot, just as terrified as she looked. Her face fell from silver to stark white. Her winter-magenta eyes beamed in on him like a gun as he floated, frozen, in the doorway. He had never appeared so betrayed in his life.
"Cosmo, I was…I just…" She had no excuse, but the mind does not ponder that fact in these moments, it only desperately searches for the nonexistent. "I didn't…"
Her husband poofed to her side, snatched the book out of her hands, and clung it to his chest. "I told you not to look."
The simple utterance slapped her into a corner. Her husband had few secrets, if any, especially from her. He was an open book, a book of crayon drawings, jokes, sweet love and naïve adorability, but he was open. She could read him any time she pleased, day or night. He had his private thoughts, and, up until today, she had not dared to find out any of them. His quivering lip told her she had broken his heart, and no matter how hard they tried, she would never repair it the same way again.
"I just needed…" The first half her reason stepped out from behind the curtain, but the harsh lights sent it ringfort cover. Her reason was terrible! How could she say, 'Oh, I read your diary because wanted to find out if you were cheating on me or wanted to, since I obviously don't trust you and can't have a conversation with you about anything other than Timmy's homework or Poof's playdates.'
Cosmo started backing away. His eyes locked on her like she was a wild beast, and if he let her out of his sight, she would attack. "I-I don't know why you did it, but I think I'm sleeping outside, in Timmy's room tonight."
That was the final stab in Wanda's heart. He had never asked, wondered, or wanted to sleep apart from her. "Cosmo, wait." She floated after him and grabbed his wrist, and, to her mild surprise, he didn't struggle to get away, but merely listened to her plea.
"Cosmo, I'm sorry. I just…you were making jokes about the Tooth Fairy, and I…I needed to know why." Her confession heaved boulders and mountains of guilt out of her stomach, and her wings' sore, melancholy pain dissipated.
Cosmo, however, didn't appear so happy. "That's why you looked?" Cosmo's tear-laced eyes looked down to his book. "Stupid journal!" He pitched the book against the wall, and it hit the smooth, lavender paint with a thud before cascading to the wood floor.
Wanda raised an eyebrow. "Uh, Cosmo?"
When she looked back to her husband, he had his arms cross in front of him, pouting. "Stupid journal," he muttered. "You weren't supposed to know."
She doesn't get jealous, she just gets mad at me
Wanda, some strange courage in her chest, voiced his odd complaint in her question. "Why would you want me to be jealous?" There was no sense in waiting. He knew, she knew, heck, it felt like the whole universe knew.
He lifted his head and met her gaze. She had only seen him look so regretful and guilt-ridden once in her life, when he had failed to save her from Crocker during the muffin-incident. "Do you want to know?" The foreign tint of blunt honesty nearly twisted Wanda's head to say no, that she didn't want to know, that she was more comfortable not knowing his reason. However, her curiosity won out.
"Fine." Cosmo's eyes clenched shut as tight as his fists, as if he was preparing for some unimaginable, brutal torture. "I want you to be jealous."
She broke in and reached to his white-knuckled, sweating hand. "Cosmo, I–"
"You don't get it!" Like a caged animal, he thrashed from her space, emerald eyes burning in a brittle, coarse fire of built-up pain. "You don't know what it feels like to watch someone slobber all over the girl you love! And you like it!"
"I don't!" Her throat gained its stability once more. "Cosmo, I never wanted you to feel this way, I never thought–"
"Why don't you get jealous, huh?" The immature, juvenile retort was so like him that Wanda hardly flinched.
He paused, waiting for her words that did not come. She could not speak. She needed to know why he wanted this. Why he wanted to make her feel that way, why this gnawed at him so harshly, and whatever gave him such a ridiculous idea. She watched, her defenses softening, as he sighed. "I just…I want you to know how it feels. But it never works, you just get mad at me instead of jealous."
There it was. As she ran through the rills of her memory, every time she didn't push Juandissimo away, didn't move to her husband's side, every time she broke his heart, he didn't know how to react, and this was how he dealt with it. She could not get mad at him for that. As much as she longed to retain her anger, it dissolved from her grasp like sugar in water.
Wanda's gaze fell limply to the ground. "Well, I got mad because I thought you liked the Tooth Fairy."
An uncharacteristic, out-of-place snort brought Wanda's eyes back to her husband. "How could I like her? She's like seven feet tall, that would just look weird."
Laughter, giggling, light-hearted, pure laughter bounced between the pair. Her gaze softened, he dried his eyes, and a mutual understanding bridged between the two, as if a common understanding of desperation for trust had finally made itself heard.
The brief break in the sober air healed, and Wanda's soft words penetrated through the silence. "I had no idea. I always thought…she was like, your 'crush', I guess." She bit back the vile, poisonous taste the thought left on her tongue.
Cosmo's relief subsided, replaced by apologetic guilt, a look she always hated to see in her husband's eyes. That emotion wasn't him. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, I just wanted you to be overcome with blind, uncontrollable jealousy."
Wanda giggled. "You're adorable."
Finally, Cosmo perked up, as if she had just told him he won a new car. "Really?"
She reached out her hand, brushed her fingertips against his cheek, the hot sensation shocking yet familiar against her hand. "Yup. And…I do get jealous. I just don't show it the same way as you." Wanda mentally added, I just imagine the Tooth Fairy boiling to death in searing pot of lava. No biggie.
Cosmo nodded and bit his bottom lip. "I should have thought about that. Wanda, I'm sorry. I don't think you can forgive me, right?" Despite his words, uncontainable, hopeful energy squeaked out of his voice. Now, that was him, that was what he sounded like.
Just by the smile on his face, Wanda knew he recognized her mischievous grin all too well. "I wouldn't say that. I think I can forgive you."
"Really?" His eyes lit up, and she gently, as if teasing him, shut the bedroom door with a soft click.
She shook her head. "Yup." She leaned forward, pressed her lips to his and smiled. "Quite easily."