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Years ago…

Young children ranging from the ages of five to seven shuffled quietly in their seats. Those who already knew each other whispered nervously amongst themselves. It was the first day of classes at Konoha's ninja academy. Iruka-sensei gave them all time to settle in before he started his introduction. He had a pretty cute group of kids this year, a lot of clan heirs too, and Naruko. Who could forget Naruko? It was going to be an interesting year.

"Alright, good morning class! I am Iruka-sensei. I will be one of your instructors for the next six or so years. Let's start the year off by going around the room and introducing ourselves. Tell everyone your name and why you want to be a ninja. How about you start Shikamaru?" said Iruka. The black haired kid groaned.

"Do I have to stand up?" he asked.

"Uhh.. no. Sitting is fine." Iruka decided. Some kids were shy, right? Though he doubted that was the issue here.

"I'm Shikamaru Nara, I want to become a chunin and watch the village gate so I can have steady income and an easy life." He said.

"Right, having well defined goals is good, I think. Okay, and behind him." Said Iruka. A blonde girl stood up and flipped her short hair.

"I'm Ino Yamanaka, and I want to be the most prettiest most fearsome Kunoichi in the village, just like my dad." She said proudly. Iruka tried not to laugh.

"Very good Ino, I'm sure your father would appreciate the sentiment. Next." He said. The dark haired girl nervously looked up from her desk.

"I am Hinata Hyuga. I… I want to make my family proud." She said. Aww, if that wasn't the sweetest thing. "Alright, next." Said Iruka. A hand slammed down on top of a desk as another blonde girl shot up.

"I'm Naruko Uzumaki – believe it!" she yelled. Iruka wondered why he was surprised.

"Oh, I do, and why do you want to become a ninja?" he asked.

"FOR HARAMBE!"

RIP

Lol okay, this has nothing to do with the story, lets move on.

Naruko laid flat on her back in Sakura's room, staring up at the spackled ceiling. She could make out a lot of patterns in the dots. Sakura was at her desk, bent over a notebook and writing furiously.

"So… how are them plans coming, Sakura-chan?" asked Naruko. Sakura sighed.

"They might go a little-bit faster if you were actually helping." Grumped Sakura. Naruko huffed and sat up.

"I would help, if you would actually let me." She replied.

"Alright, fine. Kakashi-sensei is smart, his senses are extremely sharp, his taijutsu is out of our league, he has years of experience on us, presumably 1000 jutsus, and that Sharingan eye. We collectively have medical jutsu, augmented strength, shadow clones, Rasengan, and the transformation jutsu, right?" said Sakura.

"I can summon, too." Offered Naruko.

"Right, he can too." Acknowledged Sakura, as she wrote it down in her book. "We definitely are not fast enough to get passed his guard when he uses the sharingan, and we don't have any long range jutsu. So? What do you suggest?" said Sakura. Naruko thought about it for a while.

"Well, if we cant get through his guard, we have to get him off his guard. Can you put people to sleep with medical jutsu?" asked Naruko.

"No, well at least I can't. We've seen it done with genjutsu, but neither of us are good at it and I'm pretty sure Kakashi-sensei could bust through it. Again, that eye." Said Sakura.

"Well, Kakashi-sensei isn't invincible. There has to be something he is weak against. Do you think I have larger chakra reserves? Maybe I can wear him out." Offered Naruko.

"Sure, that will take hours and then he will eat a solider pill or something. Then what?" said Sakura.

"Uh, right. So, then, what's his weakness?" asked Naruko.

"He always shuts down when Gai is around." Offered Sakura.

"He freaks out when people get emotional, at all." Said Naruko.

"He's a total pervert." grumped Sakura.

"That's it!" shouted Naruko. Sakura made a face.

"What's it?" she asked.

"Kakashi-sensei is a pervert! Oh man, it's so obvious when you think about it!" she exclaimed.

"Well pretend its not obvious to me, what are you getting at?" asked Sakura. Naruko chuckled with a shit eating grin.

"He is addicted to Pervy-sages books, and I just so happen to know how the latest one ends. I helped write it after all. It's the perfect way to catch him off guard. Also, there is this one other jutsu I know that I'd really love to hit him with." said Naruko. Sakura pondered this for a moment before nodding.

"Alright, I'm listening." Said Sakura. By the end of Naruko's explanation Sakura was grinning just as widely as the blonde was. They might have a real shot at this.

Team seven reunited an hour later in training ground seven, along with Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Shizune. Kakashi-sensei was the last to arrive, new orange book in hand, earning the eye from Tsunade.

"Now that we are all here, I suppose we can begin. Your objective is to get the bells from Kakashi, I'll be watching for a little while over there. So show me what you've got, brats." She said. Naruko saluted Tsunade as she moved to the edge of the clearing.

"You got it Baa-chan!" she exclaimed and looked to Sakura, who nodded. They would show off as many of their skills as they could before going for the kill. This would be fun.

"Mah, mah, look at you my cute little gennins, all grown up." Said Kakashi. Sakura crossed her arms.

"Gennin, who? I've been a Chunnin for a while Kakashi-sensei." Bragged Sakura. She heard Naruko let out a breath that sounded like she had been punched.

"Well I suppose that's true, at least I still have one cute gennin." He said. Naruko made a face, Kakashi thought she looked like she had swallowed something sour.

"That does it, I'm so getting those bells from you today Kakashi-sensei, and I'm not even going to be nice about it! Believe it!" shouted an embarrassed Naruko. She did not come here to be made fun of by Sakura-chan and her future husband! Kakashi chuckled.

"Oh? I'll believe that when I see it." He said. Naruko grinned.

"Well then, you better watch me with both eyes wide open sensei, I wouldn't want you to blink and miss it!" she challenged. Kakashi's brow rose.

"Both eyes, huh? Well, I suppose I can take this spar a little more seriously than usual he said. Folding the corner of one page to mark his place, he stored the infamous book in his pouch. "You girls are in for a treat today, not many people see this eye and live to tell the tale." He bragged, and lifted his headband revealing the Sharingan.

"We're not many people, sensei." Said Sakura, smacking a fist against her palm. "We're ready when you are!" she said.

"How polite. Get these bells before sunrise and you win. Begin." He said and vanished from sight. Naruko ground her teeth.

"Shit, he's fast." She said. Sakura hummed in agreement and surveyed the area. Where had he gone? Left, right, behind, above? No. That left only one option.

"Got you!" she shouted as she raised her fist into the air and slammed it into the ground. The earth trembled and split upon the impact knocking Naruko off balance. The blonde hit the ground in stunned silence. She had known Sakura-chan had gotten stronger, but what the fuck was this?

Kakashi wasn't fairing much better. His half hidden body was sticking out of the broken ground with a horrified look on his face. Tsunade had clearly been teaching his former student more than medical jutsu. He now understood why Naruko had told him to run earlier.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said sweetly, grabbing his attention. "Found you, didn't I?" she said with a satisfied grin. Kakashi feared a little more for his continued safety. Time to make like a tree and leaf. Naruko huffed out a laugh as she got to her feet.

"You wont be able to hide for long, Kakashi-sensei. I'm going to smoke you out! Multi-shadow clone jutsu!" she yelled. She may have overdone it, but she was going to effect, not efficiency. No less than 1000 Narukos flooded the area. The radius was so great that some of them were standing behind Tsunade, who had a constipated look on her face. Jiraiya wasn't looking spooked, but he did look exasperated. Tsunade bopped a clone on the head out of sheer annoyance. The others moved warily away from her.

Coincidently, the tactic had actually worked. Kakashi had been hiding near the edge of the tree line to keep an eye on his two opponents, and suddenly found himself surrounded by hundreds of Naruko's on every side. "Heh! Found you!" said one clone before dispelling, alerting all other clones to his exact location. Naruko grinned and trimmed down the herd, leaving her with about 100 clones. It wouldn't do to fight Kakashi-sensei with 1/1000 of her chakra.

"Naruko, you are aware that many clones would normally kill a person, right?" asked Sakura.

"Eh? Really? I could do atleast twice that many." Responded one of the Naruko's.

"Of course you could." Said Sakura.

Kakashi had sprung into action again, dispelling clones and running deeper into the forest. Naruko didn't sweat it, her clones were in hot pursuit and every time one was dispelled it updated her on his location.

Naruko gestured with her hands in a forwards and backwards motion. Sakura nodded her head in understanding and peeled off in a different direction. One of Naruko's clones saw the order and dispelled, alerting the others to the change of plans. The clones that were not currently engaged in fighting Kakashi slowly eased off and hid, while the others were defeated.

"There," Kakashi said, as he finished off the last of the clones, "now where can I find the real one?" He asked himself.

"I'm right here!" yelled a female voice behind him. Coming up on him fast was Naruko with her fingers pressed together. Kakashi recognized that jutsu, and he wasn't happy to see it directed at him. "Sacred Taijutsu: 1000 Years of Death!" shouted Naruko as she barreled towards him. Kakashi managed to scramble out of the way just in time. That wasn't something he wanted to experience at Naruko's hands, ever.

"Shoot, I was really hoping to land that!" growled Naruko, frustrated and being denied her revenge.

"First lesson, taijutsu." Kakashi said as he rushed Naruko. He managed to get a solid hit to her abdomen and was going in for a second when he suddenly had to dodge Sakura's punch. He was too late to move out of the way completely, but he was able to redirect her arm by capturing her wrist. Kakashi knew he would still be taking some damage from Sakura's monster strength though. He was surprised when "Sakura" was easily deflected and didn't send him flying. Why wasn't she using her strength? Kakashi delivered a quick strike to her neck that would have incapacitated her if she hadn't been a clone. Kakashi's eyes widened in surprise as he realized it was Naruko's shadow clone disguised as Sakura using transformation jutsu. That was a hand skill, indeed. If that one was fake Sakura, where was the real one. Kakashi looked up just in time to avoid a devastating blow to the head from his pink haired student. Her hands were covered in green chakra. That hit could have put him out of commission for a while. Kakashi quickly retreated to higher ground to catch his breath. He hadn't expected these kids to give him such a workout.

"Mah, and I haven't even gotten to lesson two yet. Lets fix that." He said to himself. Pressing his hands together and focusing. The image of Sasuke shimmered into existence before the girls eyes. He was crawling out of the bush and covered in wounds.

"Sakura, Naruko, help me." He said, voice tired. Sakura's eyes widened.

"Sasuke…" she whispered, her eyes a little brighter than usual. Naruko's face closed off, eyes hard and angry.

"I escaped Orochimaru, please help me." He repeated.

"Wow… teme sure did have stupid hair as a kid." Said Naruko, lip slightly curled. Anger and grief curled around each other in her gut. How long had she wished for this very scene to become a reality? She knew she couldn't hold it against him, but Naruko was a little upset with Kakashi for choosing this particular genjutsu. Sakura pressed her hands together and focused.

"Release!" she shouted as she disrupted the chakra fueling the genjutsu. It revealed Kakashi standing in front of them. "We're not going to fall for the same old tricks anymore, sensei!" yelled Sakura. Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"Is that so?" he asked. Suddenly something shiny caught Naruko's eye.

"Sakura-chan, look! The bells fell off his belt!" she said and ran towards them.

"Naruko, you moron, no!" yelled Sakura, but it was too late, Naruko stepped right into the trap and suddenly found herself dangling from a rope. Kakashi laughed.

"Not going to fall for the same old tricks, huh?" he jeered, but his mirth was cut short when Naruko vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Nope." Said a low satisfied voice right behind him. He could hear her grinning, imagine her eyelids low over her eyes, and feel the metal point digging into his skin. Right, Naruko had a kunai pointed at the back of his neck. Kakashi was quick to flip her over his head as she made a swipe for the bells on his hip. Kakashi decided it was time to retreat for now, he must be getting old, because he needed to catch his breath again.

Naruko cursed in frustration as Kakashi disappeared again. They had been playing cat and mouse for hours, and she wasn't sure who was the cat and who was the mouse anymore. She was sore and getting tired.

"We need to end this, Sakura-chan." Complained Naruko. Sakura nodded her head, breathing heavily.

"Right, at this rate he will be able to hold us off until sunrise for sure. He hasn't even used ninjutsu yet and we aren't even close." She said.

"Then you know what we need to do." Said Naruko. Sakura nodded her head.

"Right, lets track him down. This is going to work, Naruko. It has to." Said Sakura. Naruko grinned.

"Oh, it will." She promised, and they took off into the forest again, tracking their sensei. Maybe he was getting a little tired too, his tracks were easier to follow.

Meanwhile, Kakashi was huddled under a tree facing a moral dilemma. He finally had a moment to himself and all he wanted to do was pull out his new make out tactics. The sexy heroine Mikan had just met the shy delivery boy, and he really wanted to know what happened next. However, pulling out a book even while hiding was probably a bad idea. Facing Naruko and Sakura now was not like facing the kids he remembered from three years ago. Pulling out his book could spell the end for him. He could feel his hands twitching, itching to pull out the book. He was addicted, and he knew it. Putting down a good book, especially one he hadn't read before, was paramount to torture. He felt like he was going through withdrawal. Surely a few pages wouldn't hurt. As he was reaching into his pack, he suddenly found himself under attack. Sakura had leapt at him from an adjacent tree fist first. Kakashi leaped out of the way only to find himself surrounded by three Naruko. When he finished dispelling the last clone he spotted Naruko standing across from him.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei! Listen to this." She said with a grin. "I know the final twist to Make-out Tactics!" she exclaimed. Kakashi froze, realization washed through him as he remembered that Naruko had helped edit the manuscript for this book. She wasn't bluffing. "When Mikan meets her real love interest, she decides she doesn't need to wait for marriage and –" whatever else Naruko was going to say was cut off as Kakashi let out a, very manly thank you, yelp and covered his ears. She was going to ruin the ending. A sudden burst of smoke caught Kakashi off guard, and suddenly there was a woman with short purple hair, blue eyes, and large assets in a bikini standing across from him. He had never seen her before, but he recognized her. This was Mikan, from the book! Next to her was a muscular man with orange hair that he didn't recognize, was this the real love interest!? The man was reaching for the woman's waist, this was getting good, but no! He didn't want to know how it ended yet! Kakashi closed his eyes.

He swore it was a moment of insanity that compelled him to do it, just one, but that was all it took. As soon as his eyes were closed, and the sharingan was covered, the girls were on him. When he opened his eyes, the fake Mikan and lover were gone, but Naruko and Sakura were grinning from ear to ear. Each of them were holding a bell.

Well, son of a bitch.