The Cells of Penzance
I flew up into the air to get a view of the area around me, as when I had gone down the street, I'd realized I was in an area unfamiliar to me. Don't get me wrong, I liked flying as much as the next guy, but apparently it scared people in Gotham to see me above them.
And it especially didn't help that my body was still covered in that mysterious energy going around my body. Was it the ki aura from Dragon Ball Z or something? If so, the animation of the show really doesn't do it justice seeing it in real life.
It was like a slightly invisibly fire that reverberated around my form, kind of like the shimmer of air around a bonfire, but with the occasional spark of electricity. I could hear that iconic wub sound that they used in the show, and I quickly realized that it indeed WAS that ki aura that surrounded the Dragon Ball characters whenever they had an influx of power to emphasize their strength.
It's really surreal to feel around me, but in a good way, it felt very intimidating and no, not in a 'blood has transmuted into cocaine' kind of way. I could even see bits of rocks and pebbles that had followed me from the ground surrounding me, and the grin on my beak couldn't be contained.
Before I could assume a classic powering up pose to see how I would look up here in it though…
I blinked, wondering how the hell I had missed a spinning manhole cover coming and impacting the front of my face. My head did get knocked back and I felt my beak gain a hairline fracture, but I didn't scream. Within seconds, whatever pain I was able to even notice from it was gone and my beak was as good as new.
Here's the thing about Cell's body that I learned from extensive testing at S.T.A.R. Labs: Samuel Harding and I had gone through many different methods of causing me damage, from piercing, to slicing, to gunshots, and even putting my hands in an industrial hydraulic press and crushing them to mush. I did feel the pain and agony of my body being mutilated, but for some reason...I had this instinctual response of NOT responding at all.
I think Gero must have designed Cell to only respond to pain when it was directly threatening to his life, and while I could bypass that and react to pain like a normal person, I chose to keep that particular aspect as it prevented me from feeling the trauma of our experiments. That's not to mean I didn't have a sense of self-preservation when it came to my own life, but it was dulled to the point that unless something managed to nearly obliterate my form, my fight-or-flight response would not occur instinctually.
Now with that out of the way...who the hell had thrown that manhole cover at my face?
"I know you can hear me, bug man. Come down here." came a gruff voice that sounded very familiar to me.
As I looked down with my enhanced vision, I couldn't help but smile at the figure while feeling only a little bit chagrined at the realization I had missed such an obvious ten foot tall crocodile man wearing a large trench coat.
How was it that people always seemed to sneak up on me? Was I really just that bad at this?
I quickly descended and landed in the dark alleyway that Killer Croc was hiding in. Within my enhanced vision and his natural ability to see in the dark, we were able to see each other clearly. I walked up and crossed my arms, grinning while the Croc man did the same, giving me a passive look.
"Hey Croc, how's it going?" I started.
I should probably note that Killer Croc's trench coat and fedora hid his identity about as well as you'd expect...which is to say, not at all. If anything, it actually drew even MORE attention to him.
"I saw and for some reason, even felt that light show you had around your body and I came here. I've been keeping tabs on you, mostly out of interest." he said, and I couldn't help but feel a little touched by that. If it wasn't so undignified, I would be weeping with joy.
"Eh, just going through puberty really. I am only a month old or maybe six weeks? Don't know, don't care." I replied.
I probably could have told him, but I really didn't know what that aura around me was or if it was dangerous. That homeless guy had been sent flying, but that was mostly due to my sudden activation of it. Currently, I guess I had relaxed enough that it was now gone from my body, but I wondered if I could activate it at will.
"Riiiiiiiight…" said Croc with a raised brow. "and the light show was just your version of acne, I suppose ." he said sarcastically.
I shrugged. "Yes, exactly that. Thank you for guessing, big crocodile man."
"Whatever you say, Bug, whatever you say." Croc smirked.
I stretched out a bit before looking back to Croc. It was always fun talking to a DC villain, although other than him, I had yet to actually meet any other villain, besides Snowflame of course. But I don't count him for...personal reasons.
I still sometimes smell colors.
"So why are you up here?" I asked him, attempting to change the subject. "The smell of sewer water starting to get to you?" I suggested.
Croc actually glared at me and proceeded to growl for a moment to try and scare me, before snorting with light humor. I doubt he could actually hurt or kill me, but still, I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of those teeth.
"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that, but no. I just like coming out at night for a bite to eat." he explained calmly, uncrossing his arms to gesture at the city of Gotham. "I've gotta admit though, I didn't expect to see you again. Thought you would be locked up in Arkham or otherwise trying to take over the world."
"Yeah, I have been meaning to do that, but I have no Pinky to ruin my plans." I said, only to get a look of confusion from Croc that I ignored. "but I had other stuff to do, and I managed to paint the Batmobile pink-"
"Heard about that. Couldn't stop laughing for hours." Croc interrupted, but I just grinned and he returned with equal vigor. I continued my original story, and hoped he wouldn't get bored.
"And don't get me started on the guy who coked me up until I felt I was both retarded...AND the smartest being in the universe."
Killer Croc just stared at me like I'd grow a tail.
...a bug's head.
...a second head. Yeah that works. Although I did have to check to make sure I didn't have that. Still no dick on me I saw.
"Ok...what?" the crocodile man asked in utter bewilderment.
"My month has been very productive." I simply said.
"Moving on." Croc just responded, and I suppose it was fair since he seemed to have no idea how to respond to my statement. "So about that whole painting the Bat's car-"
"Yup, that was certainly a thing I did."
Croc just deadpanned "Quite. Anyways, when I'd heard about that, I had assumed it was the clown."
"Really?" I asked genuinely. " I think the Joker would do something a bit more, I don't know, murdery. Yeah, I'd think he'd do something a lot more crazy than painting the Batmobile pink."
Croc just shrugged.
"Depends on the clown's mood really, I can never tell with that guy. One day, he might just draw mustaches on billboards while dressed as a pirate. The next, he's holding nuns hostage with plastic explosives and rabid hyenas."
"I'll keep that in mind." I answered calmly, wondering how the hell Croc knew that.
The villain chuckled in amusement at my reaction as he turned away. I followed his eyes to see a lone asain-looking man walking into an alley nearby.
"Looks like my dinner is chinese tonight. Take care Cell, and don't be a stranger." he said politely.
I watched Croc walk off towards his next victim, most likely to commit homicide, cannibalism, and a whole host of who-knows-what. I wondered if I should stop him, but that would only lead to my hero's journey to becoming a hero, which I didn't want to become.
I guess I'm now friends with a pseudo-reptilian serial killer. I didn't even really flinch when I heard the scream of terror and agony as well as a wet-sounding crunch that silenced it after.
Wow. This really has been one of those months.
A problem for another time I suppose. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and began to hum the song "What is Love." to myself.
I wasn't sure how long I stood there, but eventually through closed eyes, I could tell something was happening as I continued to him.
The glowing around me had returned.
I smiled at that.
What is love? Aura's don't hurt me. Dont hurt me, no more…
A major problem with any potential plans for my presence in the DC universe, was that I had absolutely NO idea what happened in Young Justice. I mean, I had seen only two and a half episodes.
The pilot obviously, then the one with the Injustice League, and the first half of one where the team lost their memories in a desert.
That last episode always confused the hell out of me, since I didn't have context or knew the ending of it, and initially I had assumed that for some reason, the show had rebooted in the very same season it was made. Of course the day I was watching it, I had work to do and I didn't find out the whole memory-erased plot fact until much later.
However, I did keep up with DC comics when I had been a regular guy, up to the Dark Night: Metal series at least and shows like this tended to use things that happened in the comics as inspiration for new episodes.
So I figured I should be covered on everything.
Either way, I figured it shouldn't affect me all that much in the grand scheme of things. After all, as long as I stayed away from any conflicts within this universe, then events should proceed as expected. Barring any butterfly effects I might cause.
That said, I was kind of hoping to at least figure out where I was within the series, which was quite the task when you've only seen three episodes. According to the internet however, no random planet-wide plant monsters have attacked, so I can safely guess it was before the Injustice League stuff.
Which was good, since then I at least know about the one event that might actually affect me.
Safe with that knowledge, I decided to move on to my next plan.I needed to do something epic, something that would announce my very presence to the world better than being the Emerald Streaker ever would. And yeah, that was a good way of doing it, but think of the CHILDREN!
I sat on a chair with my legs crossed and assumed the stereotypical meditative stance. Eyes closed as Samuel Harding busied himself with one of my livers. I had plenty to spare anyway and regeneration was a very good thing. It hadn't even been that painful, as I had opened my own body myself.
With my bare hands. If that doesn't make me Metal, I don't know what will.
Sammy had to take a break to go to the restroom to throw up after that, though.
"Partially synthetic, artificial polymers, non-artificial cells structured in honeycomb lattice work-"
Samuel apparently had a habit of talking to himself when he was really focused on something, and apparently my liver was fascinating to him, although I'm not sure why. After hearing him mutter for another five minutes, I sighed and looked at him
"Should I leave you and my liver alone? Maybe I should come back with some fava beans and a nice chianti." I snarked as I continued my meditation.
Somehow, I knew Sammy's eyes just rolled at me as he started cutting into the liver with a scalpel.
"I don't bother you when you do whatever it is you do, Cell, so please don't bother me during my examinations." he requested in a strict tone. I normally messed around with him, but in these times, I tried to show some respect to a scientist wanting to use my regenerative abilities to save the world.
"Hmm." I said, and then closed my eyes as I felt a warmth envelop me.
Ki certainly was something else, let me tell you. I was glowing again.
I am a bug, like a moth really.
I have become one with pretty lights.
If I was a moth, I was pretty sure my ability to glow would have all the other moths look to me as their new lord and master for becoming one with the light.
"Cell! Do you mind keeping the lights down? As fascinating as it is, I don't have time to study your glowing abilities right now, and you're interfering with my equipment." Sammy snapped.
Sighing, I opened my eyes as I heard several objects clattering to the floor. Nothing important, just a few pens and other stationary objects that were floating previously from my aura.
"Just getting a feel for the ki, doc."
That seemed to get his attention and he briefly looked up at me.
"Ki? Hmmm...interesting." he replied offhandedly as he made a note on his tablet, before returning to my liver.
"Uh huh." I replied, watching as he didn't even seem to acknowledge me anymore. Was he that used to being near a giant man-eating and immortal bug person who could destroy the world? "Great conversation, Doc."
Sammy sighed, but didn't look up from his work. "Look Cell, I know I'm distracted right now, but these are my normal work hours, so why don't you go busy yourself with something else?"
I tilted my head as I thought about his suggestion, before hopping to my feet and stretching my arms, listening as my bones popped. My god, that sound was satisfying, and judging by the disgusted look on Samuel's face, pretty loud as well.
"Sounds like a plan Doc. Catch you later."
He probably didn't expect me to head out the door at my top speed, but seeing him duck as papers and other crap flew everywhere around the lab was satisfying, especially as he himself flew back and nearly went over the table. The doc stared where I had left, before shrugging and turning back to the liver he was dissecting.
"Eh. He'll be fine." Harding said, having no idea the hell he had unleashed upon the city of Gotham.
I had found an abandoned area of the city, flying up to one of the more derelict buildings so I could practice my powers alone. Unlike when I attempted the Kamehameha before, this time I tried to get a feel for my newly-developed ki powers, since I actually had a goal in mind.
I wasn't looking for anything dangerous, like a planet buster, but if my new epic plan was going to work, I had to pull it off.
It really is hard to talk about what ki is, but the best I could put it, it was like there was something passing through me, something that had its own presence apart from me and seemed to have qualities I literally couldn't comprehend.
It did and did NOT have a temperature, yet at the same time, it lacked a physical form that could only be felt through senses other than touch.
I wouldn't call it hot or cold, but warm and cool didn't quite cover it either. It had a weight to it that wasn't just my own and it was a strain to focus on it, but the strain wasn't like lifting something or anything like that.
I know I'm not making a lot of sense, but the best way to summarize is that it was all simply one big contradiction. It basically had all these qualities that extended beyond the physical and instead, into a visceral realm of truly alien sensations.
It did kinda tickle though. Not in an obnoxious way mind you, but a pleasant one.
I decided to focus on those sensations as I visualized my goal. After a few moments, I heard some kind of electrical buzzing that momentarily distracted me, and caused me to open my eyes.
As soon as I settled my eyes on the figure before me, I smiled as much as my weird bug mouth would let me.
"Hello Cell." I said.
The figure smiled back at me.
"Hello to you, Other Cell." he responded, waving a green arm at me. He then stepped out of the way to show two VERY similar-looking figures.
"Do not forget about me! I am Also Cell." the third one said.
"Greetings, Also Cell." I responded with a bow.
"Hey, don't ignore me!" said the fourth figure, "I am the Bugman Currently Known as Cell." he said.
"Oh how could I forget you?" I responded to the Bugman currently known as Cell. "I guess you complete our Fab Four."
"Too right!" we all yelled simultaneously, before doing a four-way high-five.
With the power of my power to utilize my ki, I have brought four times the fun by bringing the total existence of myself to up to four other Cells.
I clapped my hands in glee together as my other counterparts looked at each other mischievously. "Looks like we can pull off the multi-form technique, so this will do just fine for our next course of action."
My other clone, Also Cell, tapped a claw to his own beak.
"Ok, so normally this technique splits power by four, but Perfect Cell in the show was able to make full copies of himself of equal power. Where do you think our Imperfect Cell form falls into that spectrum?" he asked curiously.
Other Cell crossed his arms and hummed loudly.
"Does it really matter? Considering what we plan on doing, power isn't really necessary." Other Cell said.
"Indeed Other Cell. Indeed." I say.
We all stared at each other for a moment, and then nodded in agreement at one thing: this separate names convention was going to be hard to keep track of. We all look the same and if someone was reading this, they'd probably be very confused by the nature of the names.
So, to avoid any confusion, we all decided to just call each other Cell.
See? No more confusion! Hehehehe...
"So, now that we're all here, who's ready for rehearsal?" asked Cell, who was now using a notebook that he totally had despite being a clone, and writing something down on it that we all crowded around to see.
We spent a few moments looking for the perfect choice, and then as one, all of our eyes fell on the name written down on the notebook. Our grins could have made the Joker himself look even more nervous than anyone who had met him.
With that cleared, we stood side by side, collectively cleared our throats...and began rehearsal.
Yes, our four-way plan was going to be the very definition of theatrical.
It took days of preparation, which mostly consisted of looking up objects most likely to be stolen by our target. I knew eventually my prey would show up, as she would not be able to resist the temptation of this particular object.
It's so ironic how a cat could hunt a mouse, but a bugman like me could hunt a Catwoman.
The Museum of Gotham had revealed a new piece for the general public. Based on the name alone, I knew it was just begging to be stolen by a talented, and somewhat sexy thief.
Sidebar. Apparently, with my lack of external organs and other bodily functions, I found that, by default, I was completely unable to interact with others in what could be described as a 'sexual' manner. This was good, as if I recall correctly, I was the same way back as a human only…you know…with junk.
Gotta think of the children right? Like that one lady from the Simpsons would always say.
Their new attraction was called the Cat's Eye Ruby, so there was only one guess as to who would want this particular diamond. Did museums and newspapers have short-term memory loss of how often a robbery at that place was?
From the next building over, I saw a dark figure leaping and bounding across the rooftops heading for the museum. The use of that whip of hers as well as her sharp claws really did make her one of the best parkour users of Gotham, and made her segments in Arkham City even more fun to play than Batman's campaign sometimes.
I looked to my fellow clones, who were all wearing suits like mine so that we wouldn't be known tonight as the Emerald Streakers. Plural.
"Alright guys, no pressure, just remember your roles and this should all go swimmingly." I said, so giddy with excitement that we all shared a small giggle at our plan.
The pink Batmobile had put my actions on the news of Gotham, but this would put ME on every headline throughout the state.
And then, with four simultaneous nods, we flew off.
Selina Kyle, AKA Catwoman, looked into the Museum of Gotham's sky-light window as she scoped out the location. Seeing the coast was clear, she flexed her fingers and began carving a hole into the glass as carefully as she could. Little by little and bit by bit, she made just the right sized hole for her to fit through. Once it was done, she easily popped it out of its frame. moved the detached glass off to the side, then with an acrobatic flip, dove down right into the museum.
As soon as she did so, my clones and I snuck our way in as well, only with less gymnastics and more Spiderman-espue movements, using our claws to cling to the ceiling as soon as we got to the sides.
We began to maneuver ourselves into place, each of us watching as Selina Kyle used some very impressive flexibility to avoid the laser grid that led to the Cat's Eye Ruby. After a few moments, she got to the case.
"Well now, aren't you a pretty little thing?" she asked in a sultry voice to the diamond. "Oh, but stuck in such a drab little place like this. That just will not do." She said, talking in a manner that if a camera were trained on her, it would go to show how devious and clever she was to the audience.
It was at that moment, as Catowman removed the diamond from its case, that we struck.
Selena smiled victoriously at her prize...right before the unmistakable sound of cymbals and brass flooded the entire room, followed immediately by the singing of Fortississimo.
For those unaware, Fortississimo can be best translated as 'sing it at the top of your lungs, and as loudly as you can.'
I saw her almost jump out of her skin as the lights in the room shot open, her goggles unable to contain the shocked look on her face, wondering if this was some kind of trap or decoy.
With cat-like tread
Upon our prey we steal
Catwoman watched as I came out of the shadows and sang as loudly as I could before one of my clones came next to me.
In silence dread
Our cautious way we feel
The alarms were now blaring as a third Cell snuck from the shadows and into the spotlight, crossing all the invisible lasers without a care in the world.
No sound at all
We never speak a word
Abandoning stealth and having no idea what the hell was going on, Catwoman shoved the diamond into her bag before moving as quickly as she could for the skylight, just as a fourth Cell appeared.
A fly's foot-fall
Would be distinctly heard!
Then with speed that she could barely see, my clones and I all stood shoulder-to-shoulder, all four of us beginning to dance the Can-Can in perfect synchronization
Catwoman flung herself out of the skylight using her whip as the sounds of police sirens in the distance got louder. Looking to the side of the roof, she saw the origin of the music being produced; a stereo blaring as loudly as it could. Or at least it was until, with a scowl on her face, she decimated it with a powerful kick.
I don't think she expected us bugmen to follow her, still singing the music Acapella-style.
So stealthily, the pirate creeps
While all the household soundly sleeps...
Annoyed, Selina removed her whip and cracked it at us, hoping to slash it across our faces and make us stop. Unfortunately it was completely ineffective, as we completely ignored it and continued as the thin scars across our beaks healed almost instantly.
Come friends, who plough the sea!
Truce to navigation
Take another station
Let's vary piracy!
With a little burglary
"...Shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" she screamed, now trying to use her whip to do even more damage than normal.
However, each crack of the whip was more than useless, and our choreography seemed perfectly timed so that we flew above and out of reach from both it and her diamond-tipped claws.
Grunting with frustration, she leapt for the next rooftop...and we followed her.
Here's your crowbar
And your centre bit
Your life preserver.
You may want to hit!
Selina's eyes twisted in a way that resembled pure fury as we surrounded her on all sides, continuing our singing and dancing even as she clawed or tried to kick us away. Fortunately, her claws just bounced off my smooth carapace, and her kicks were nothing more than small taps.
She might be able to take on fifty guys at once and come out on top, but against four super-powered cockroaches like myself? She was nothing more than a harmless kitten.
Does that count as a pun? You decide.
Your silent matches.
Your dark lantern seize
Take your file
And your skeletonic keys!
Tarantara, with cat-like tread.
In silence dread...
"STOP FOLLOWING ME!" Catwoman screeched as she leapt over us, running over and bounding up a fire escape as fast as she could. My clones and I kept up our singing even as the sirens followed the source of our boisterous singing and helicopters were heard in the distance.
With cat-like tread
Upon our prey we steal!
In silence dread
Our cautious way we feel!
No sound at all
We never speak a word!
A fly's foot-fall
Would be distinctly heard!
Having had more than enough, Selina bounded up the ladder, grabbing the edge with the skill of an acrobat, before flipping backwards to fling herself towards the nearest bug man that had already been there waiting for her.
Come friends, who plough the sea!
Brandishing her sharpened, diamond claws, she managed to sink them into the exoskeleton of his leg, tearing at his thigh and achilles hell, throwing him off balance while only looking mildly perturbed. Behind him, the rest of us continued our singing and choreography.
Truce to navigation
Take another station
What Selina did not expect was for my clone brother to grip the top of his thigh, and violently tear his own leg off, sending the detached limb, as well as Catwoman herself down to the ground. Wiping the purple blood off her goggles, Selina seemed to idly note that there was a helicopter shining its spotlight above us, and it seemed to be filming her and my magnificent quartet. She didn't look quite sure how long that it had been there, but I figured it was more than a little embarrassing from her end.
Let's vary piracy
With a little burglary!
Selina, in a desperate attempt to escape the helicopter and more importantly me, attempted to jump off the building directly and land safely on all fours.
I don't think she was aware of the open dumpster below that I had taken the liberty of moving to her, just in case she got injured from the fall. Better to fall in three-week old garbage than become crippled right?
With cat-like tread
Upon our prey we steal
In silence dread
Our cautious waaaaaaaaaay weeeeeeee FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!
With our musical number over, the Fab Four Cells all turned to the chopper as the camera moved over to them. With a simple bow, three of them faded out of existence, before I took off for the skies, laughing to myself all the way.
Selina Kyle, who had managed to crawl her way out the dumpster, stared at my retreating form with hate-filled eyes, before taking off, thoughts raging through her head with the intensity of a cat with rabies.
It wasn't the humiliation that this had brought her.
It wasn't the ruby she realized she had lost during her ordeal.
It wasn't even being caught off guard that bothered her. Batman had ruined many of her heists in the past, but this was WAY different.
She would have her revenge, because no one, fucking NO ONE, ruins her reputation, on live TV no less, makes her looks like a fool, covers her in blood, and lands her in a dump heap...AND does it all while singing her favorite Gilbert and Sullivan song!
That was what had pushed the entire situation just a little too far for her.
She was going to squash that mutant freak of nature and flay it alive if it was the last thing she did. With practiced ease that came with years of experience, she avoided the sirens and helicopters until she finally made it to her safe house, breathing rapidly through her nose with utter fury.
Now confident she was alone, and glad she had taken the time to soundproof the place, she screamed to the heavens.
"I'm going to KILL THAT FUCKING BUG!"
All in all, I have to say that I'm completely happy with how things have been progressing. I actually managed to harness my body's ki, clone myself, track down one of Batman's more notorious villains and/or partners, and best of all, show the world my lovely singing voice that only mildly sounded like Plankton gargling rocks.
I was so pleased with myself that I couldn't help but skip as I walked, all the while singing Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah.
I guess the civilians of Gotham are starting to get used to my antics as none of them so much as spared me a glance as I skipped and sang my cheery tune. Of course, as it was now noon of the day I had utterly trounced Catwoman on TV, some were pointing at me and others even saluted me with respect.
Taking a turn towards my destination, I smiled as I barged into S.T.A.R Labs like I owned the place...which considering the amount of money I had made, I think I might have.
Moving past the technicians and interns doing their grunt work, I noticed some of them looked up from their work to eye the singing insectoid being skipping past them. I'm sure from their perspective, it was surreal.
With a push of the door and singing the last note of the classic Disney song, I entered the room, and saw Harding waiting patiently. As soon as he met my gaze, he waved politely with a smile.
"Hello Cell." he greeted.
"Greetings Sammy." I responded as I descended upon the nearest spinnable chair and rolled across the floor with it. Harding hummed in disapproval before shaking his head and looking to his machine.
"So...I saw your little performance on the news this morning." he said while giving me a look that I couldn't tell was amused or disapproving.
"Great, wasn't it?" I asked, pleased with myself as I crossed my arms behind my head.
"I'm actually more curious about those copies you made." Samuel said as he started attaching weird devices to my exoskeleton. I didn't react at all to his abrupt action, having gotten used to him doing sudden experiments like this out of the blue.
"Remember that energy I told you about?"
"Yes, I believe you called it ki?" he asked.
"That's it! It turns out it can do more than just the normal energy stuff that I mentioned it could do, like shooting ki blasts. Although I do need to figure out how to do that still."
"I'm almost jealous." Samuel stated, looking thoughtful. "I could get so much more work done if I was able to make more of me. C'est la vie, I suppose."
"Well, you know what they say Sammy; The other Shaltanac's joopleberry shrub is always a more mauve-y shade of pinky russet." I said with a grin, to which Harding gave me an amused smile.
"At least you have good taste in literature, Cell. Anyways, I'm glad that you can somewhat use your ki, because that's what the machine I am attaching you to is for. I want you to enter that meditative state you've been practicing so that this device will be able to monitor your vitals. It had to be custom built due to your unique biology, so please try not to break anything." he explained.
I stared at the doctor and thought about that homeless guy again. "I promise not to intentionally break it." I said after a few seconds.
Sammy looked taken aback by my words not being a definitive answer, but he shrugged it off as he was used to it by now.
"Oddly specific, but that's good enough for me. Now close your eyes and do your thing." he said, to which I obeyed.
After that song and dance, I decided it was best to sit atop the building of S.T.A.R Labs while making a list of possible victi- I mean heroes and villains who either deserved to be taken down a peg or be humiliated by a giant nigh-immortal bug man who could drink people.
So far, my list included mostly villains and notes about them. At the top of the list of course, was none other than Lex Luthor, who was hands down the most magnificent bastard to ever magnificent bastard. So my plan for him must be proportionally epic, especially since he was smart enough to run for President and win by a landslide.
Metropolis was surprisingly close to Gotham when I checked the world map, so I had plenty of time to plan things out. I had a few ideas of what I wanted to do next with various characters and I wasn't really afraid of retaliation.
Immortality and regeneration will do that to you I suppose. Sure, I know Cell got killed by a Father-Son Kamehameha and Trunks killed the Imperfect Cell of his future, but those were really cheap in my opinion and I would be much smarter and faster than that.
Still this is Lex Luthor, the guy who tussles with Superman, who one time during the Silver Age accidentally destroyed a solar system by sneezing. I don't think this version of Superman was quite as broken as that version, but he was still Superman.
As I began to brainstorm, I felt something enter my vicinity and I smiled at the fact that I could tell who it was and how close they were. This is what I love about having ki sense: no one can or ever will sneak up on me ever again.
"Hey Batman." I said politely without looking away from my notebook. That was at least until the vigilante grabbed me by my shoulders, forced me to my feet and spun me around. I was somewhat surprised by the whole thing, and waited to see where he was going with this before I defended myself.
After seeing his face, I knew one thing:
Batman was mad. So mad, that if I were immature and level-headed, I would refer to him as Bat-Mad.
"What. Did. You. Do?" he asked...no, DEMANDED of me.
I blinked. Was he this upset over what I had done with Selina? I expected maybe getting a stern look or a frown, but not this level of anger.
"Pardon?" I asked.
In response, Batman held out a recording device with a screen that showed me a very familiar face.
"COME OUT BUG MAN AND FACE ME, SNOWFLAME! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF MY TEMPLE!" yelled the coked out supervillain in what looked to be a terrorist video threat. He then screamed randomly and punched out the camera that went to white noise.
I looked to the screen, then to Batman, then back to the screen, and back to Batman.
I grinned at the hero's glare, and rubbed the back of my head, thinking about what to say.
"That's a bit of a funny story actually…"
"Tell me now, before I arrest you for interrupting international relations." he said in the most clipped tone I've ever heard.
Oh boy, this is not going to go well for me, is it?