5A/N Yes, I know I should be updating my other stories, not writing more Star Wars oneshots, but I had the idea and I just couldn't help it.
In the beginning, when Anakin talks about what he's been doing lately and names a bunch of insane sounding stuff and treats it like it's normal, that has to do with my headcanons. It's not intended to make sense to the reader, i just hoped you guys would think it was funny.
All the Sith words are made up. On the off chance that something in here means something totally different in a language other than English, that was unintentional.
So, you know that myth (popularized by Pitch Perfect) that they had to change the name in Germany because vader means father in German and it would've given the big twist away?
That's not true, but it did inspire this story.
It'd been decades, but Anakin just couldn't get over how cool it was to venture through the wondrous World Between Worlds.
After performing his daily duties as the Force-wielder of balance, he would often go through the World Between Worlds to get back to the entrance to the afterlife. He wasn't the only one who would do this, but encountering others was a rare occurrence.
That's what made running into Obi Wan so unexpected. "Hello Anakin, fancy meeting you here" said Obi Wan.
"How are you today?" asked Anakin.
"Good. I'm on my way back, you as well?"
"Yup. Need the rest after today" joked Anakin. They walked together as they made their way to their destination.
"What have you been up to lately?" Obi Wan asked.
"Nothing too bizarre. Tying a red thread on Mandalore, stopping a drunken Zagreus from creating a black hole for no reason, ending a plague outbreak, breaking up a fight between Jannath and Draccon. So you know, just the usual stuff" said Anakin.
"Sometimes you just need a good break" said Obi Wan. Anakin nodded.
Obi Wan looked around for a moment. "I like to listen to the voices when I come through here" he randomly said.
Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth...Vader
Anakin kind of guiltily laughed. "Of all things we could've heard immediately after you said that, it just had to be that!"
Obi Wan laughed too. "I take it that's what he said right after you…"
"Yeah"
"You know, that was a weird pause. As if he was thinking on a name for a moment, and then just said Vader. I wonder where the heck that came from"
"I always thought it had something to do with the Sith Tongue meaning" said Anakin.
"Pardon?"
"Well, the Darth names aren't just random words. They all have a meaning in the ancient Sith language"
"I never realized that, but coming to think of it that seems really obvious"
Anakin gave a slight chuckle. "Well you know, when you decode the names some of them are pretty interesting"
"Wait, do you speak the ancient Sith Tongue?" asked Obi Wan.
"I was a Sith for twenty-three years" Anakin reminded him, although it was still a rather rough subject for the two of them.
"Well, now you got me pretty curious" said Obi Wan.
"Do you want me to tell you what all the Sith names in our lifetime meant?"
"Well, sure" said Obi Wan.
"Okay….Darth Maul….ground shaker. So, earthquake. You killed Darth Earthquake"
"Maul means earthquake?"
"Pretty much. On ancient Moraband their quakes were associated with great destruction and change by bringing the gateway to a new era"
"Because they'd have to rebuild cities after quakes leveled them?"
"Yeah, so over the centuries they got culturally..."
"Well, from Palpatine's point of view that name makes sense. Gateway to a new era…" said Obi Wan.
"Well, you really have to look at Palpatine and Count Dooku's point of view to get his,"
"Well, what does Darth Tyranus mean?"
"It's a combination of two words actually. Tyraë means...um...I don't think there's an exact translation in basic. It means old, tired, no longer functioning. it's sometimes used like a synonym for corruption. But, it mainly means coming to an end"
"All that in a little four letter word?"
"Five letters actually, and yeah. It's a...special language"
"Hmm"
"But the second word, ranus, means king's reign. Or a river flood…"
Obi Wan raised an eyebrow.
"...depending on the context"
Anakin realized he was probably not sounding like he spoke the language as well as he claimed, but try explaining Basic or Huttese to someone to someone who'd never even heard them before! For supposedly simple languages they sure seemed to break a lot of the own rules.
"So anyway, Tyranus means an outdated, corrupt ruling coming to an end" Anakin finished.
"You're right, you do need to see it through their eyes" said Obi Wan.
"Yeah"
"Well, what does Sidious mean?"
"Hmm. Hidden under something, or in the shadows. Actually, I think it might be slang for shadow. But what's funny is if you look at the etymology it comes from the word hibious, which is a cognate"
Obi Wan was pretty sure he knew what word. It actually described Palpatine pretty well, especially after the force lightning deformities. "So, Palpatine was hideous?"
"He sure was," Anakin agreed. Then he moved back to his point. "But yeah. Hibious means a great ugliness or evil"
Obi Wan paused for a moment. "Ironic then. He was an ugly evil hidden in the shadows"
"Oh yes…". Thinking about everything Palpatine had done made again force down a stab of anger.
Obi Wan wasn't planning on asking Anakin what Darth Vader meant. For starters neither liked to talk about that period, but it also didn't feel proper for him to bring it up in such a light conversation.
Surprisingly, Anakin asked "So I suppose you'd like to know what my name meant?", albeit slightly more seriously.
"If you feel comfortable telling me, than go right ahead" said Obi Wan. "Like I mention, it did sound like a rather bizarre thing for Sidious to call you"
Anakin paused and thought for a moment. Why did Palpatine give him that name? It wasn't very imposing. He'd always thought it might've had something to do with some of the major reasons he'd turned to the darkside, but he was never sure.
"Why did he call me that?" he mumbled rhetorically.
Obi Wan looked confused.
"I'm not sure exactly. Vader is just the Sith Tongue word for father"