Alright. HELLO DXD FANDOM! I sincerely like many stories here, but choosing my favorite, I'd have to go with 'Go Away, I'm Watching Porn' and 'Holy Inferno Dragon'. And my favorite lemon story... 'DXD Conquest'. And now I'm here to throw my own story into the mix, and contradictory to my past stories... IT'S NOT A LEMON STORY! Romance will have a small part. But let's just get to it, after my patented disclaimer. Also.


We look upon a newly created clearing in the snowy forest. A red armored-clad figure standing over a medieval knight, carrying a shield with a red cross on a white field. Knight removing his helmet, reveals a handsome young man with flowing blond hair, and blood dripping out of his mouth. he and the armored figure exchanged a few words and the blonde man gurgly laughs, spewing blood, before laying his head down, ceasing his breathing. The red armored figure looked around the clearing, and on his gauntlets. He then teleports away, and his last words echo through the clearing: ''I'm done with this shit.''

10 years later

A young man is walking towards a building housing the bar 'Happy Dragon' while searching through his pocket for the keys. He looks to be in his twenties, smooth face and pleasant brown eyes. His hair is cut in a modern way, and he has slight traces of sideburns. He is wearing black dress pants, and a white dress shirt with a sleeveless west over. He unlocks the bar roughly two hours before it opens. He takes a mop and a bucket and starts preparing for the day. He mops the floor, sets the chairs and wipes the tables. He also checks the cellar and stalks the fridge behind the bar. Behind the bar are also doors leading to a small kitchen, where he takes a few packs of slider patties and leaves them to taw in cold water. He also fills few bowls with peanuts and sets them on tables and bar counter. With five minutes before the opening, he prepares himself jack on the rocks and downs it in one go. Waiting for a minute for alcohol to take effect, he curses under his breath, feeling nothing.

''Fuck you, Ddraig.''

He flips the switch under the bar counter and the neon sign outside lits up OPEN. Almost immediately four people enter shouting to the young bartender:

''YO, Issei! Get us four cold ones, will ya?'' The now identified Issei smiles in greeting and takes out four beer bottles from the fridge, carrying them to their table. They invite them to have a drink, but he retaliates that, unlike them, he has actual work to do.

''Heh, kid, you have no idea what work really is. We have a project to finish, and the boss is really riding our asses on this one.'' Issei nodded in understanding, thinking for a second and then decided.

''You know what, I'll bring another round for you, this one's on the house.'' Men cheer in approval and clink their bottles together wishing Issei many years in business.

Issei just smiles in return and quickly moves behind the bar to deliver the promised free beers, and then proceeds to wipe the mugs behind the bar. he also completely ignores the flirty looks he's getting from the black and blue haired ladies of the group. Too bad. Their oppai are fantastic. The little loli looking blond also looks at him, but her look is different. More... suspicious.

After about half an hour, the company drank their beers and went, while the only guy, Dohnaseek, shouted to Issei to 'just put it on his tab'. Issei nodded to that and wrote something inside his business book. He then wiped their desk and sprayed some kind of blue liquid all around.

''Fucking devils, always leaving their smell behind.'' he put away the cleaning supplies and decided to go check the cellar, but was stopped by a familiar voice.

''Yo, bartender! Get your virgin weiner out of your hand get me a drink!'' yelled a man looking to be in his early thirties, black hair with golden strands (which he insisted were natural) and amethyst eyes.

''Azazel. Looking shitty, like always.''

''Ah, just get me that drink. Something strong. Really strong.'' Issei reached for the most potent sake he had on display when Azazel voiced his opinion.

''Don't serve me sake! And all I get are display items? I thought we were friends! Give me something imported.

''Azazel, I don't think that such a good idea...''

''Shut up, just get the thing, doesn't matter the cost.

Issei sighed and opened a hidden compartment in the bar counter, and pulling out a bottle of clear liquid with a strange label, white with black symbols, resembling wide four-prong forks, connected in the middle. Azazel was trying his best to hide his surprise.

''Those are hands of Svarog! What is a person like Issei doing with alcohol of one of the smaller pantheons?''

''This is some kind of fruit brandy that I get from somewhere in Europe, Slov- something country. It's home-brewed from many different fruits. I only get 20 bottles per year and I sell most of them onward. I'm opening this one because you and Baraquiel have been dear friends for years now. And you only get two shots, get it?''

Issei waited until Azazel nodded in understanding before pouring a shot of the liquid to both of them. They cheered and downed them with practiced ease. Azazel's face scrunched from the strong liquor, while Issei waited to feel even the slightest burn of liquid traveling down his throat. Only to feel absolutely nothing.

''Fuck you Ddraig.'' he cursed in his head and poured his friend another shot. He froze momentarily when he thought he heard snickering and decided he will check on seals as soon as possible. Luckily Azazel was none the wiser as he started a conversation.

''You know, Issei, with how many exotic things you have in store, it's a miracle the government hasn't cracked down on you yet.''

''Oh, I'm just lucky. Speaking of which, Katase delivered this week's schedule. Wanna see?

Azazel reconsidered. He was in kind of a hurry, but...

''I guess I have the time. So, anything interesting transpiring this week?''

''You bet. The Poker tournament is starting, tonight actually. I can get you signed up if you want.'' After Azazel shook his head, Issei decided to go on.

''There's the Serafall's 'Every Bar Should Have It' karaoke night. She hired the room upstairs so we can have the privacy.''

''No, thanks, kid. Last time Baraquiel and I went on one of those... You know how it ended.'' Azazel shivered at the memory. Issei smelled the perfect payback opportunity.

''Oh, is that the one where she made you sing in a duet?


''And she made you sing the woman's part?''


''And the song was 'Time of my life' from Dirty Dancing?''

''That's payback for the virgin weiner comment, isn't it?''

''Abstinence is a choice, you should respect that. Just because I don't pick up every piece of skirt walking through that door doesn't make me any worse than the lot of you. Plus, one of these days you'll get an STD, and I for one won't be driving to any hospital to see you.''

''Since when did you get so cold?''

''Since the day you posted that video of me singing. Now Penume won't leave me alone, trying to make me sing and dance with her, and don't even get me started on Serafall. If it wasn't for Sirzechs she would already and I quote: 'drag me down to her studio and make me stay forever', whatever that means.''

Azazel just laughed nervously and swore to himself to place some sort of tongue binding charm to keep Serafall quiet every time she decided to open her big mouth. He quickly downed his last shot.

"Hey, speaking of Baraquiel, how is he? He doesn't come by often. Is he still..." Azazel sighed. the emotional state of his right hand was so obvious, even a regular human could pick it up.

"Yes. It was a heavy blow to him. now he just throws himself at any work I can find for him, and when I have none, he teaches the youngsters. I hope one of these days he'll snap out and start living again, but...

"When you meet the one, she truly becomes the one." Azael nodded to those words of wisdom, staring at his now empty shot glass. If he would look up, he would notice the sad look Issei had in his eyes.

"Anyway, I gotta go to the basement real quick. Mind looking out?"

After getting a nod from Azazel, Issei quickly left down the stairs. He quickly frowned and looked rolled up his sleeves. and checked the tattoos on his forearm. They carried a symbol of a monkey, riding a cloud, in a circle of chains. They looked beautiful. But four out of five were... cracked.

"God damn it, they cracked again. I really am too strong for my own good. Even splitting my power did not help." he kept his frown as he dug around some crates, searching for whatever it was he needed.

"Hello, Mr. Hyodou! Sorry for being early. School finished fast, and I hoped I could do some overtime." Murayama was happily entering the bar but was surprised when she saw someone else at the bar, instead of the brunette. Azazel was just about to reply, when the young bartender ran up the stairs, carrying to crates in his arms.

"No worries, Murayama. But I thought you had kendo practice today."

"No, they are renovating the gym. Also patching some holes in the walls perverted duo has been peaking through."

"Perverted duo, those are the two idiots who tried to get drinks here last week, right?" Issei vaguely remembered a bold boy and someone with glasses, both of who he threw out after they tried to get a drink.

"The very same. Everyone hates them. But if I just mention you, they run for the hills. What did you do to them?" Azazel looked at Issei, also intent on knowing.


"Hey, what the hell, man!"

"Yea, let us go." Issei could only sweatdrop at their behavior. They came right on the Karaoke night to perve on Serafall and Grayfia. He was doing them both a favor. What he planned was nothing compared to what Sirzech would do. And little Millicas was coming as well for some reason, so he's gonna have to get Murayama to play with him. He told them not to bring kids to his bar. He just hoped that the Gremory heiress wouldn't come. She was always eying him like a piece of meat, probably searching for members of her peerage. He started drawing something in the mud with his shoe while conversing with the perverted duo.

A small thud against his shin woke him up from his memories. One of the perverts (the bold one) was trying to hurt him by kicking his shin. He sighed to himself. Quickly casting concealment charms, he put them on the ground.

"Now, kids, why don't you tell me why you are here?" he smiled at them. If they had any experience in reading people, they would know the impending doom the smile was promising.

"We're here to perv on the girls!" yelled glasses., the other nodding vigorously.

"And which girls would they be?" he asked.

"Murayama and Katase! They would look the best in an apron! And that sexy twin-tails chick, and the silver-haired maid!"

"One is older than the two of you combined, and the other one is married. You boys will be in big trouble if I mention this to her husband."

This got the bespectacled one to rethink a little, while the baldy bravely exclaimed:

"All is worth it to cup a feel of milf's breast!" Issei sighed again. Lucky whatever he was drawing was done. He tapped the middle of it with his heel and a red magic circle appeared. this got the duos attention.

"What is this?" asked the one with glasses.

"It's a magic circle. Specifically a concealment one. Now no one will know what we're doing." that's when Issei released the tiniest bit of his dragon aura as possible. It gave the perverted duo a feeling like they were an unimportant speck of dust, that just warranted the attention of an apex predator. After swiping their memory of any magic circles, he let the two runoff, with soiled pants and crushed dreams.


"Nothing much, we just... we just had a little talk. Yea, that's right, a little talk," said Issei, while actively looking at the mug he's been wiping for the last five minutes.

"Right. I've gotta go. take care, youngsters, and remember to use a condom." Azazel then quickly left, leaving behind a blushing Murayama, and frustrated Issei.

"That asshole. I apologize, Murayama. While you are a beautiful young woman, I could never see my employees in that way." This caused Murayama to blush even more.

"O-of course. You are handsome yourself, Mr. Hyodo... I MEAN not in THAT way... well, yes in that way, but I..."

It's alright, Murayama. I get it. Now, how about you change, and then start up the coffee machine?" The girl looked happy with the change of topic and quickly rushed to get changed, while Issei stayed behind.

"I really need to figure out this seal issue. I'll call up Son Wukong, see if he has the time. I doubt that SHE would want to see me again." That's when some more people walked in. While this was officially a bar, it operated as a cafe during day hours, and it was a real hit with teenage girls. Rumors had it, that it was because of a handsome bartender, but girls consistently denied such accusation. But still, one does wonder if there's something more on it. Something magical, per se.

This is not my main story. My main story is and will be MHA, One Punch Deku. this is what I'd call my passion project to work on when I have a writer's block. I don't know what way I'll take this, we'll just have to wait and see. Thank you for reading, see ya in a month or two. NPGamer out.