Somewhere else in a universe far away from what we know, there were businessmen sitting in an office working out one particular deal. One had a Mickey Mouse template sitting in front of them, while the other had a Sony template sitting in front of their table as they discussed business.
"So." The Sony side said. "You're telling us that if we want to have the deal keep going on, that you'll have 50 percent of the Box Office take?"
The Disney side nodded their heads. "Well, yeah! You guys made like, a billion dollars worldwide."
"So?!" The Sony Side countered. "You guys made $2 billion at the box office! Your movie just defeated Avatar!"
"Well..." The Disney said. "As money goes, we'd like to have more so we could-?"
"Seriously?" The Sony Side said. "No, no! Hell no, there has to be some other way to negotiate this!"
"Oh, we're afraid that's not the case." The Disney Side said. "So, unless you agree to our terms, perhaps there just won't be any more Spider-Man in Marvel."
"Well, fine!" The Sony Side spoke, one of them had a name. Rothman. "We don't really need Kevin's Playbook anymore! In fact, we'll just make our Spider-Man movies without you!"
"We've learned enough from him to make our Spidey films perfect, so we actually don't need you! We'll make our films better than yours ever be!"
"And one day soon, you're going to look back, and you're going to ask, "Oh shit, maybe we should have just moved over to a lower price range." And then you'll come right back asking it back, but you know what we'll say?"
"We'll say yes, but the moment you get excited, we'll be like, "SIKE!" In your dreams, bitch! We own this booty! And we'll own it long after you're dead!"
"What?!" Tom Rothman asked. "I'm in the middle of something here!"
"Tom." One of the businessmen said. "There's a red dot on your head."
"What?" Tom asked, rubbing his head until he turned to a reflection on a window, seeing the dot on his forehead. "What the-?"
Suddenly, a bullet rang out, shooting it far into Rothman's head, killing him on the spot as he fell against the table, taking everyone by surprise as they all got up in horror. Then, out from the window came a figure crashing right through, entering the office as a Red and Black man with a mask stood before them, eyeing each and every one of them.
"Oh my god!" One of the businessmen said. "Spider-Man?!"
The man just gave a WTF look. "What? F# k no! I'm Deadpool!" Wade then jumped on the table, getting the center of attention. "And we need to have a long chat about our Friendly Neighborhood Webhead!"
"Listen, Deadpool!" One Sony executive spoke. "And you listen-!"
"No!" Deadpool countered, holding out a gun pointing at the Sony executives, freaking them out. "You listen to me, you little shit! How dare you hire Tom Rothman to replace Pascal?!" He jumped off the table, looking at the Sony Side. "Seriously, have you lost your shit?! Don't you know that Tom Rothman was the man, no... Bastard, that ruined the Fantastic Four films? Let alone wait at the last minute to greenlight the last one because he didn't want Fox to lose their license? Seriously, the guy was a complete idiot! And as you can tell, he was very terrible at negotiating!"
"Wade!" The Disney said spoke. "Wade, please, we have this under-!"
"And you!" Deadpool said, pointing the gun at Mickey Mouse now. "What the F# k kind of drugs have you been taking lately? I mean, really? 50 percent of the Box Office? REALLY?! The F$#k is the matter with you?! I get bought to hang out with all of the Marvel characters! And when I say "All", I mean All of them! Especially my friend, Spider-Man! Which leaves me to the point."
He then got up back on the table, looking directly at both sides of the Marvel business. "You two shitheads are going to sit here, renegotiate a more subtle, lighter deal. The kind that's a lot more long term, if you catch my drift! And more importantly, you're going to stay in this room until all of you agree to have Spider-Man stay in the MCU! And if anyone here disagrees..." He got out a chainsaw from the duffle bag he brought with him, lighting it up as everyone in the room started to panic. "Then you get a taste from my little friend!"
Then, all of a sudden, he turns to you, the reader. "And as for every one of you who are reading this, if you're as pissed off as I am at this current situation at Marvel, there's a lot of ways of you can help turn the tide! Like storming into the office like I just did, but only less violent and less Bruce Willis from Die Hard. Partake in online petitions! Hell, storm every store that has Sony products and dismantle every one to reduce their stocks, and make sure that everyone gets the message that we will not stand for this monstrosity! After all, this author didn't write this Fanfic just for nothing, despite how shitty the format looked!"
"Who the hell are you talking to?" A Disney executive asked.
"TO YOUR F$ KING MOTHER! WHO'S DEEPLY ASHAMED WITH HOW F$ KING STUPID YOU ARE!" The Merc with a Mouth breathed as he made the Disney man cry. "Sorry about that, I'm just pissed off that I'm not going to have that Spider-Man/Deadpool movie that I dreamed of." He sighed, turning back to you. "But hopefully, we can make these two see reason and start making a new deal! Seriously, do whatever you can to make them renegotiate, and while you do so..." He then lifted up the chainsaw up high in the air. "I'm going to fictionally torture these crybabies to signing. Oh, and don't forget to leave a Review down at the bottom of the screen to let the Author know how you thought about this short bit." He then turned over to the businessmen. "Now, who wants to lose a hand first?"
Everyone inside just screamed as Deadpool manically enjoyed his day.